Love Unrehearsed (26 page)

I watched the scene get set up, cameras in place, actors on their marks, and direction given. I couldn’t turn my eyes away no matter what my heart told my mind to do. Seeing the man I love kiss another, even though I knew it was pretend, twisted my heart in ways no words could ever describe.

Confusion tore through me when Ryan abruptly broke from the kiss. His face puckered like he had just swallowed a nasty bug coated in sour dirt instead of kissing a cute actress. His grip around her arm became less than friendly.

Jonathan pulled his headset off when Ryan started to curse at her.

Ryan spat onto the ground twice, right there where they stood. “Tell me that wasn’t what I think it was.”

“You don’t understand. Things have been really hectic and I—”

“I warned you!” Ryan cast her off with great offense.

“Ryan, wait,” Nicole pleaded. She looked crushed by his rejection.

“Where’s Parker? I want a fucking meeting, in my rig,
now
,” Ryan barked as he stormed away.

The second we climbed into Ryan’s RV, he grabbed his toothbrush and started scrubbing his teeth, spitting and rinsing his mouth repeatedly into the small kitchen sink. I didn’t say a word.

There was a loud rap on Ryan’s door and I jumped up quickly to answer it. Parker Shay and Jonathan Follweiler were on the other side.

“Ryan, what’s going on? You wanted to see me?” Parker asked.

Ryan was livid. “I want her gone. This is
bullshit
, Parker.” He wiped his face with a small towel. “I can still taste the fucking crank in my mouth.”

Parker appeared just as lost as I was. “The what?”

“Nicole,” Ryan growled. “She’s a fucking meth head.”

Parker rested his hands on his hips, taking this new information in. “Meth? As in methamphetamines?”

Ryan nodded. “She’s snorting the shit.”

Jonathan looked like he’d just been struck. “Are you sure? Did you see her using or something?”

“No, but I just had her spit in my mouth a few minutes ago. Believe me,
I know
what the shit tastes like and I can tell you that I’m not going to put up with it. I tasted it on her before when we did the bedroom scene and I warned her about it, but that drip I just caught was fresh.”

I felt my knees start to become unsteady, so I sat down in one of the chairs before I’d keel over from this revelation. I didn’t know which news shocked me more—Nicole doing illegal drugs or my fiancé knowing what illegal drugs taste like.

Ryan spat in the sink. “What the hell, Parker? This is our second film together. I thought you had my back.”

“I do, Ryan. Believe me. I had no idea she had drug issues.”

“This shit may fly with the cable networks but it’s so not happening with any project I’ve got my name on, I can tell you that.”

“Ryan—man, I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I’ll take care of it.”

“Damn right you will,” Ryan barked. “Because I am not stepping one foot in front of any cameras until it’s dealt with. We’ve only filmed for a couple of days. Fire her and get another actress. Someone professional that doesn’t have a drug problem.”

Jonathan looked just as angry and frustrated as Ryan was, glaring at Parker in his own way.

Parker sighed heavily. “You know it’s not that simple, Ryan. We’ve already shot the promos, the stills.”

Ryan continued to freak out and argue. His emotional rant was making this entire situation worse. I had to do something. The moment I locked eyes with Parker, I gave him a subtle nod in the direction of the door, hoping he’d give me time to calm Ryan down.

“We’ll take care of this, Ryan. Just relax. Let me make some calls.” Parker pressed his phone to his ear on his way out.

Ryan was behaving irrationally, even punching one of the cabinets with his fist.

“Ryan . . .”

“What?” he snapped. “And before you start, I tried it a few times back in college, way back when. You know I don’t do drugs.”

It was good to hear it, but him punching stuff was more my concern. “I know you don’t. Honey, listen. I know you’re furious, but lashing out and demanding that she gets fired is not the way to handle this.”

“You’re not the one with chemical poison in your fucking mouth, Taryn!”

“I know. But I also know what was written in the executive producer agreement that you signed.”

That got his temper to come down a big notch. There were several pages of legal mumbo-jumbo tossed in his direction that day he signed the paperwork; of course he didn’t read it all, trusting that his lawyer giving him the general okay was confirmation enough. But with several million dollars on the line, I read every damn word of his copy, not leaving anything to chance to be filtered to him through his lawyer.

“You have dual obligations to this film now. You accepted the responsibility to make sound decisions when you signed on for those rights. All of the producers are required to consult each other for any changes to main talent, so you need to support them and handle yourself professionally, not freak out on everyone.”

Ryan flexed his fingers in the air. “I just want to wring her goddamned neck.”

“I know, but you can’t.”

He wiped both hands down his face. “Grr. Fuck. What am I . . . how do I . . . ?”

“Sit for a minute and try to calm down.”

Ryan’s eyes were filled with dread, worry, fury—all vying to dominate as he gripped the cabinetry next to the built-in refrigerator. “I’ve never had to deal with this before, Taryn,” he growled. “I’m at a complete loss here. I mean, what do I do with this?”

Part of me was worried that the drugs from her mouth had affected him, given the way he was acting. I had no direct knowledge of their effects or symptoms to call upon, though, so I presumed he was just beyond riled. “Babe, sit. We need to thoroughly evaluate the situation—rationally.” I was surprised he did what I said even though he was still breathing hard like a rampant bull cornered in a china shop.

“Just take a deep breath. I want you to try to forget that you’re an actor and her co-star for a moment so you can start thinking like a producer. This is a business.

“First,
calmly
talk to Parker. You know that nothing can be resolved with you yelling at him.”

“I know,” he agreed, “but I’m so fucking pissed and—”

“I know, honey. You put a stop to filming so now they have no choice but to deal with it.”

“I’m not going back out there. There’s no fucking way.”

“Talk to Jonathan. Come up with a plan. Her drug usage has halted
production
and therefore is putting this film in jeopardy. They are going to act on this now. I’m sure there are a ton of legal and contractual ramifications here to deal with that we have to consider. Then discuss how to confront her and attempt to resolve this.”

Ryan nodded. “I can’t believe she’d be so stupid. I suspected something was up from the moment I saw her but I didn’t say anything. And then during our scene yesterday . . . that’s when I knew for sure.”

Now I knew his odd behavior wasn’t just because I was watching him have pretend sex.

“If she’s stupid enough to risk what could potentially be a turning point in her career over drugs,” I told him, “then she deserves to deal with whatever ramifications come from it. She isn’t a child. This is all stuff you have to learn to deal with if you’re going to be an executive producer of your own films. You have to consider everything objectively.”

He seemed to acquiesce. “You’re right. All of it. Especially if we start our own production company like we talked about.”

I nodded. “But . . .” I waited until he made eye contact. “She’s young and she’s doing foolish things messing with drugs like this. You need to help her.”

Ryan’s face twisted. “
Help
her?”

“Yes, help her. Listen, I know you are furious, but there’s obviously some serious issues plaguing her if she’s using such a hard drug like that.”

“And that’s
my
problem?”

I knew he was lashing out at the situation and not at me. “Yes, babe, it is. Instead of filming, you’re in here fuming. People just don’t do drugs for the hell of it. Well, maybe some do, but meth? She’s been looking strung-out for a week, so I’m pretty sure this isn’t recreational usage going on. That girl is in serious need of an intervention.”

“Because someone told her she was looking fat or something stupid, this is now my problem? Fucking great.”

“Everyone deserves a second chance. You’ve just called her out on it in front of everyone. Who knows? Maybe she’s scared straight.”

Ryan laughed at the likelihood of that.

“Be a leader, a mentor to her. You know firsthand how it feels to be under pressure. She’s doing drugs because she’s trying to cope with something, and if you go on a tear to get her fired, you never know how bad she could get. Don’t let her become another Hollywood statistic, Ryan. So many others have thrown their lives away on drugs and alcohol. All it takes is for one person to make a difference. Find it in your heart to be the difference.”

His eyebrow rose. “Like she’s going to listen to me.”

“You never know which intervention breaks through.”

At least he considered my suggestion. He stared at me for what felt like forever until he finally said, “You want the role?”

“What?” I recoiled as if he’d tossed a live grenade in my lap.

“Do you want the role?”

“Are you serious?”

“Absolutely. You know the dialogue better than she does and your delivery when we rehearsed was completely natural. You know you can do it. Question is, do you want it?”

Suddenly I was very aware of the wall behind me. “Ryan, you can’t ask me that, nor do you have the authority to offer it.”

Someone knocked on the RV door and then I heard a familiar female voice. “Ryan?” Nicole called out.

I could tell just by how wide his eyes got that Ryan was at a loss for a next move. I took him by the hand for a moment and then opened the trailer door.

Departure

“I must have been good today to come home to such a sight,” Ryan said when he found me reading on our bed, the sound of his approval resonating around his lascivious grin. He was standing in the doorway, arms folded across his chest, smirking like the Cheshire cat.

It was late, almost ten o’clock at night, and I had anticipated him being wiped out, but I was so damn relieved to see his smile return.

Guess he liked my new cream-colored lace camisole top and matching panties more. It was as far as I had gotten dressed after my shower and exhaustive day keeping up with Anna Garrett and her credit cards. I smiled at him, feeling that thrill he always manages to incite in me with nothing more than a look.

I hadn’t seen him since he left with Mike that morning and I was glad to see he was in a fairly good mood, considering the heaviness of his day. Hopefully his good mood would stay, helping to cushion the talk yet to come. I’d been feeling sick about it all day, but after my phone call with Marie I couldn’t put it off any longer.

My sadness from knowing I’d have to go home soon had me stuck to the bed while my internal giddiness from not seeing Ryan all day had me desiring to jump up and latch my legs around his hips. Ryan sauntered over; his finger traced over the fine spaghetti strap of my top and down the valley of my spine, sending quivers right into my groin. A soft, throaty growl rolled up his throat. I licked his fingertip when he seductively drifted it over my lip.

“I figure if I’m going to spend your money, I might as well get things you’ll appreciate.”

He flashed his million-dollar smile, the one that makes my knees weak.

Damn, I’ll miss this every day
.

Like a big cat mounting its mate, he crawled onto the bed and over the top of me, loving my bare shoulder with his mouth. “Oh, I appreciate. Very. Very. Much.”

His thighs surrounded the outside of mine, dipping his hips to prove his appreciation by letting me feel his denim-clad erection in the cleft of my rear.

I twisted beneath him, flipping over to my back. His tongue swirled with mine, reminding me just how much I missed him today.

“You are so fucking beautiful,” he breathed out on my lips, lowering his body to rest next to me. “I missed you today.”

I smiled, thrilled to know he felt the same way. I brushed his hair from his eyes when he rested his head on my chest.

It had been three days since the methamphetamines meltdown and everyone’s lawyer and manager was in town to hold hands and lord over the situation. “I heard you did an excellent job this morning,” I said, kissing his forehead.

He sighed. “You’re banned from hanging around Anna.”

I pushed back a little to see his face. “Why? She’s the one who gave me the nod of approval on this outfit.”

Ryan held up one finger. “I retract the ban.” He gave me a reassuring smirk. “I figured she’d fill you in.”

He mumbled something about hens and gossip. If he only knew the half of it. After spending so much time with her, I had dirt on half of Hollywood.

“Anna was very impressed with the way you handled yourself. You still okay with the decision?”

His shoulder rose and fell. “Don’t have much choice, do I? She cried again when I said she’s lucky she didn’t get fired today. Nicole better keep her nose clean this time. She gets caught using again and that’s it.”

His eyes locked on mine. “I’m almost hoping she messes up. I told Jonathan you’d be a good replacement.”

Surprise and some annoyance jolted into my chest. “I’m not an actress, Ryan. You shouldn’t have done that.”

He propped his head up. “Why? What are you afraid of?”

Oh, not much. The media making a huge production out of my transition? False accusations of me using you to get ahead? Incorrect theories that this is some sort of publicity stunt? Having your career negatively impacted because of it?

“It’s a
bad
idea.”

He frowned at me. “You’re a natural, you know.”

The thought made me shiver, knowing his view was biased. “If I’m going to ever go that route I want to earn it, not have it handed to me.”