Love, Rosie (176 page)

right
up.
So
I’m
forgiven.

Rosie:

Alex:

No.

Great
stuff,
thanks.
Speak
to
you
soon.

Alex
has
logged
off

Rosie:

Thanks
for
asking
about
my
job,
Doctor
.

from
:

to
:

subject
:

Rosie

Ruby

Help!

Help
.
.
.
(Meek
feeble
little
voice)
Help
me
.
.
.
Oh
dear,
my
head.
My

poor,
poor
head.
My
even
poorer
brain
cells,
they
never
even
had
a
chance,

they’re
gone.
Dead.
The
pain
and
suffering
my
mind
and
body
experience

right
now
is
pure
torture.
I
pray
that
the
end
is
nigh,
let
me
see
the
light
so

that
I
may
follow
thee
.
.
.
It’s
4
o’clock
in
the
afternoon
and
I
am
bedridden

(not
exactly
half
as
much
fun
as
it
sounds)
and
bed
is
where
I
shall
stay
for

the
remainder
of
my
years.
Good-bye
world,
farewell
all,
thanks
for
the

memories.

And
of
the
ones
remaining
from
last
night
I
shall
try
to
explain
to
you

exactly
what
I
got
up
to,
although
there
seems
to
be
a
heavy
mist
working
its

way
in
from
the
edges
of
my
brain
toward
the
center.
I’ll
try
to
get
it
all
out

before
I’m
surrounded
in
fuzziness.

After
you
threw
me
out
of
your
house
in
your
mad
rush
to
get
to
last-

minute
dance
lessons
I
sat
at
the
bus
stop
for
AN
HOUR
and
waited
for
the

bloody
bus
to
turn
up.
Honestly
Ruby
I
strongly
urge
you
to
think
of
invest-

ing
in
a
fireman’s
pole
for
your
home
so
that
when
Ricardo
calls
you
for
one

of
your
emergency
dance
lessons
you
can
press
the
panic
button
of
your

alarm,
slide
down
the
pole,
and
dive
into
your
mini-mobile,
remembering
to

blare
salsa
music
as
a
warning
for
all
traffic
who
dare
obstruct
the
urgent

call
of
hip
movement.
Next
time
you
invite
me
out
on
a
“girls’
night
in”

though
I’ll
be
careful
not
to
spend
my
meager
amounts
of
money
on
booze.

268

Cecelia
Ahern

So
me
and
my
two
off-license
bags
waited
at
the
bus
stop
and
I
began
to

work
my
way
through
one
of
them
(out
of
pure
boredom
of
course).
Anyway

eventually
I
arrived
at
Brian
the
Whine’s
house
and
he
informed
me
as
he

opened
the
front
door
that
he
had
given
Katie
permission
to
stay
at
Toby’s

house
for
the
night
(which
by
the
way
really
annoyed
me
because
I’m
the

one
who
usually
tells
her
what
she
can
and
cannot
do).