Love Resisted (Entwined Hearts #2) (4 page)

He puffs out a breath. “No,” he says and shakes his head. “That’s not really what I think, Soph. Sorry, I’m just being an arse.”

“No harm done, Saul. So any idea what we have been summoned to attend tonight?” I ask half joking and trying to change the conversation.

“Nah, when you manage to work those two out, let me know,” he says and gives me a sideways glance and a grin.

And Boom! I’m back ten years.

“Okay class, this is what I want you to work on for the next hour,” Mr. Bateman said as he passed out cards. We were in drama. I loved this class. It was where I felt free from all the bullshit, that I could be someone else, even if it were only for an hour.

Pea and I regularly went in for the talent contests that our school seemed to hold once a term. Me dancing or singing backup as she sang up front. I don’t think the school had any other ideas on what to do with us, so they pitted us against each other like racehorses. But hey…it meant the school got more money that was all they cared about.

One of my friends went to a school across town. They had some kind of disco every term. The students paid to attend. I guess this was similar, we did have a disco after the talent contest. But it was usually one where the twat twins, Stacey and Ellie, got up and sang badly to the latest Brittney song, and we’d all groan and put our fingers in our ears.

Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t born to be a singer, but I could dance. Five years of dance school helped, of course. Those two though…they would’ve sent you home at 6:00 p.m. on a Saturday when it was your birthday, and you had a hot date lined up – that’s how bad they were. Anyway, any kind of drama class, even if it was at school meant I could be someone else for a few minutes and that made me happy.

I turned my card over and it must’ve been my lucky day as it said – DANCER – the choice was made for me. I looked over at Pea, who was practically bouncing in her seat and she sneaked me a quick glance at her card which said – SINGER. This was the first time all term that we’d gotten even close to something that we could indeed work with. So far, in this class I’d been given, PARENT, TEACHER, FIREMAN and PIRATE…yeah pirate. The fact that Pea had singer was even more surprising.

“Pair up and be ready in twenty minutes,” Mr. Bateman said and went to sit behind his desk. He would open his drawer and constantly look into it for the next twenty minutes. I’m pretty sure he had a porn magazine in that drawer. Dirty bastard!

Pea and I automatically start walking to each other, but Pea was only a couple of steps in when Con grabbed her around the waist. I frowned, but she smiled and shrugged her shoulders – sell out. I was about to move toward Saul when I saw Stacy grabbing him by his hands and he couldn’t pull away. Or maybe he didn’t want to. I shrugged as he caught my eye. He glanced over to Con and looked back at me and frowned. It looked like he was about to disconnect his hands from Stacy to come and rescue me.

I didn’t need his pity.

Fuck that.

I walked over to Mr. Bateman, who momentarily jerked in his seat when he saw me coming, and he almost banged his crotch on the desk. Eww!

“Mr. Bateman, I want to work on my own.”

He scrunched his eyebrows together and coughed a couple of times. “Erm…okay, Sophie, that’ll be okay. Any particular reason why?” he asked and I shook my head no. He nodded. “Okay, well then, you better practice,” he replied.

“I know what I’m going to do, it’s something I just thought of,” I lied so easily to him. The truth was that I’d been practicing this dance piece for weeks. Pea and I had been going through a phase. Listening to a lot of En Vogue, and we’d been practicing to a different song for the next talent show. But this particular one on their album had caught my attention, and I’d been dancing to it in my bedroom at night when Mother had been out. I felt it down to my bones, feeling free when I performed it, only wishing I could sing it too. Pea could sing it amazingly, but I could dance to it, really dance. So that’s what I’d do.

I heard a snort and looked over at Ellie.

“This should be good,” she said.

I just nodded. I’d already seen her card. She was supposed to be a doctor.

When the performances started, my legs jiggled waiting for my turn. When it was Pea and Con’s turn, the whole class was in stitches while Pea sang ‘Tears of a Clown’ and Con acted like a clown. Crazy. Both of them. Then it was Saul and Stacy’s turn. He was apparently a lawyer and she was supposed to be a baker, but it seemed to be more like he was a lawyer and she was the bunny-boiling secretary. Still, it made me giggle internally seeing him so uncomfortable.

There was only Ellie and Sasha left and I assumed Mr. Bateman was leaving me until last as it was just me on my own.

When Ellie got up to do her skit with Sasha, I knew immediately she wasn’t going to be a doctor. Apparently she was going to be a Beyoncé impersonator. She put on ‘Crazy In Love’ and started flinging herself around the classroom like a monkey flings shit. Everyone was silent watching the cringy scene as it unfolded. The ‘oh, oh’s’ were the worst. She put her hands on her hips and thrust her pelvis forward then back while trying to tap her foot out and spin herself around. She looked like she’d been hypnotised to be a dancing chicken on drugs. It was so funny. The whole time Sasha stood there doing nothing.

At the end of the show Ellie stopped and looked at Sasha and her cheeks pinked, and she said, “Ten out of ten. You are the winner.”

Apparently Sasha was a judge…she took that to mean ‘of talent.’ It was comical and although there were snickers toward the back of the room from some of the guys, and Con, Pea and Saul, all had smirks on their faces, the other girls wouldn’t ever have said anything due to the possibility of backlash. I did notice that Stacy had a frown and was obviously not happy with Ellie’s performance.

“Lovely, Ellie and Sasha,” Mr. Bateman said in a very sceptical tone. “Now the last performance is from Sophie.”

While getting up, I could hear Ellie say to Stacy, “Time for a nap.” And they high fived each other. I closed my eyes and took a breath then I put En Vogue ‘Don’t Let Go (Love)’ into the CD player. As it started, I spun around and let the music run through my veins. I moved left, then right, I reached and stretched and rotated. I moved slow when the music needed it and used a lot of contemporary dance, then when the chorus came in I had just enough space to add a little flavour with some smaller street moves. The music slowed down again and I pranced like a stripper using my body at its best. Slithering from side to side and picking one of the boys – Simon – to dance around making him feel special.

I almost didn’t notice when the music stopped. Everyone was silent for a moment then a couple of the guys at the back whooped and that started the class clapping. I looked over at Stacy and Ellie who were sitting there with faces like slapped arses and then I noticed Saul. He had a shit-eating grin on his face, proud of the schooling I’d just given the tramps. But to me it just said, I’m everything you’ll ever want and yet you’ll never have me.

“Soph, I assume I’m taking you home?” Saul asks jogging me out of the memory.

“Yeah Saul, I want a nap before getting ready for tonight,” he nods at my words and I add, “Saul, thanks, you know…for coming to get me.”

“Always babe. Always.”

Ugh! The beeping won’t stop. It’s relentless. I know what it is. It’s the alarm I set two hours ago, so I’d get up and be ready for Pea. I don’t want her to come in here and hose me down, and at the moment with those fucking pregnancy hormones bouncing around and attacking you unexpectedly, I wouldn’t put it past her. My bright idea, of course, when I got into bed was to set the alarm on my phone. Then leave the phone on the other side of the room, so I’d have no choice but to get my backside out of bed.

“Turn that fucking racket off,” Hormonal Harriet calls up the stairs.

“Okay Pea, sorry!” I shout back.

“Stop shouting!” She blasts up the stairs.

Groaning I drag myself out of bed to turn off the alarm and start getting ready. “Poor Con,” I whisper and shake my head. Tonight is going to be so much fun with Stroppy Knickers downstairs.

Shower time…or maybe that should be Show Time. Either way I need to get moving.

An hour later and I’m almost ready. I’m just about to put mascara on when I glance at the clock and see there's only about five minutes left.

Just as I’m applying the mascara, I hear, “Soph, get your perfect-fucking-sized arse down here!” And there goes the mascara wand in my eye.

“Fuck!” Getting up with a jolt, I grab a tissue leaning over the same dressing table I was just sitting at. But now, I have my eyeball almost to the glass and I’m trying to dab the black mascara from my eye with the tissue.

“Soph!” I hear, so close that I jolt again and head-butt the mirror.

“Precious, come downstairs and let Soph get ready woman!” Con says to her sternly but softly. He must guide her away as the next person’s voice I hear makes me bang my head for a second time

“You all right, babe?”

“Fuck! Saul, I didn’t realise you were standing there. Fuck! This isn’t my night. My eye is almost black and I have a lump coming up on my forehead, and all because little Miss Stroppy Knickers is impatient. But when we have to wait for her to piss for the fourteenth time in an hour, nobody is allowed to moan!” I’m grumbling now. Saul laughs. I stop what I’m doing and listen to him. He hardly ever laughs, but it’s a beautiful sound, deep and rumbling and enchanting. He stops laughing and it makes me sad.

“Come here,” he says gently and I stare at him not sure what he’s saying. He grabs my arms. “Come here,” he says again while placing me in front of him. Then he puts his hands on either side of my face. My breath hitches. He must hear it, but he doesn’t comment. “Open your eyes, let me take a look,” he says and I stare straight into his eyes. I sigh.

Yep, that’s me…I actually sigh.

His eyes though – God those eyes. They are blue, like the brightest blue that you wouldn’t think possible outside of coloured contacts, but they are real and they are completely mesmerising and now I’m caught in his gaze. He takes the tissue and cleanses around my eye.

“There isn’t anything on your eyeball anymore,” he whispers. Now he’s looking straight into my eyes and I’m trapped. Neither of us does or says anything, and I can hear our breaths between us, filling the tiny space.

“Come on you two. Jeez, get your arses in gear people!” Hormonal Harriet shouts and the moment’s gone.

“I’ll go downstairs and calm her down before she goes into labour. How many more months has she got to go?” he asks.

“Five,” I reply.

“Fuck!” He comes back with and I just nod and chuckle as he leaves the room.

Twenty minutes later and I’m downstairs. Everyone is staring at me and Pea looks like she’s ready to burst. I look over at Con who, it seems, is whispering soothing words into her ear. Next, my head moves to Dane who has his hands in his pockets and is staring at the ceiling like it’s the most interesting thing ever. Lastly, I glance at Saul. His eyes widen slightly at me and then he smirks and bites his lower lip, and his dimple pops out. I’m not sure whether to laugh or pounce on him.

“Glad you could join us, Soph. It’s not like we’re waiting to go or anything,” Pea moans with her arms crossed over her body.

“Oh my God!” I look at Con. “Have you got a gag for her,” I ask pointing at Pea. “I don’t care if you use it in your kinky sex game, I don’t care if it’s pink and furry and lights up in the dark. If you have one please, for the love of Cher…put it in her mouth!”

Everyone stares at me with their eyes wide.

I wait.

One beat.

Then another.

Then all at once they burst into laughter.

Two hours later and Pea is happier. We're in Brighton, back at AbsoluteRetro. This place has become our regular karaoke bar. Well, when I say regular, we try to visit once every two weeks. More often, if we all have time.

Pea has vented her frustration through a selection of Alanis Morisette songs and is now chilled out and more like her usual self. She’s been trying to get me up on stage, but it’s not my night tonight. Although, if much more drink gets into my system I may end up dragging her up.

I wasn't going to get drunk, but from almost the moment we arrived here there was a petite blonde attached to Saul. It annoyed Pea, as tonight was supposed to
be 'family night.’
I look over at Dane, he’s smiling and joining in the fun. Even though he’s had a lot of attention, he has ignored it all in favour of spending family time with us.

We must mean more to Dane than we do to Saul.

"I'm going to get another drink," I say to Pea over the racket that is someone trying to sing ‘I Will Always Love You’ by Whitney Houston. I shudder, thinking of the time that Ellie and Stacy got up and sang that song at one of the school talent shows. The whole time they were staring at Con and Saul. It would have been funny if they weren't trying to make our ears bleed with their din.

"I'll come get them with you, Tink," Dane replies and I look over at Saul and catch a dark look crossing his face.

"Want anything?" I ask and he nods just as blondie grabs his face and pulls him down to her, so she can start sucking on his mouth. Rolling my eyes, I look across at Pea, Con and Dane to see them all staring at me. Yep, they all caught the eye roll. Damn beer, always making me do stupid things. Dane grabs my elbow and steers me toward the bar.

“You okay?” he asks, I pull my arm away from him.

“Of course, why wouldn’t I be?” my tone snappy.

He just looks at me and raises one of his eyebrows.

“What?” I ask raising my shoulders and holding my hands up.

He just shakes his head. “What does everyone drink?”

“Oh, erm…well, Pea will have a diet coke. Con and Saul will both have Buds. I don’t know what blondie will have.” I stop and Dane is staring at me.

Then he says, “I don’t know what the woman hanging off Saul’s arm has either, but she isn’t getting a drink seeing as she hasn’t spoken to one of us all night. In fact, I’m not entirely sure she’s even spoken to Saul…” he pauses and looks back toward our table. I sneak a look over to and see Pea has the grumpy look back on her face again. Con is glaring at Saul, who is still having his face eaten by blondie. I look back to Dane, who’s staring at me.

“What do you want, Tink?” he asks and I feel the weight of his words and the meaning behind them.

“I’ll have a double vodka shot, please,” I reply with a grimace.

Dane sighs. “Listen, if you’re going down this road then will you stay at mine tonight?”

“Why?” I ask. I’m not quite drunk yet, but my brain isn’t functioning at its usual speed…which isn’t super-fast on a good day.

“Because, I can keep an eye on you if you get wasted. It’s not fair for Con to have to worry about Pea and you,” he replies.

“You don’t have to look after me and neither does he!” I bite out.

Dane grabs my hand and squeezes gently. “Soph, do you think for one minute Con isn’t going to be worried about you if he takes you home and you’re drunk? Do you think Pea won’t be worried about you? Come on Tink, you know they will.”

I hang my head.

“Come back to mine, sleep in the spare room and I’ll make sure you’re okay. So, you can let your hair down tonight and it means Con doesn’t have to worry about you.”

“Why do you want to look after me, Dane? You could pick up someone here and have them back to your house tonight instead.”

“Tonight is about us. Not picking people up for a quick fuck,” he snaps out. I look up and see him staring at Saul with a frown “Anyway, I don’t take random people back to my place.”

“Okay, it’s nice that you don’t mind looking out for me,” I whisper.

“We’re friends, right?” he asks and I nod. He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes and he grabs me and pulls me to him and embraces me in a hug. I turn my head and rest it against his chest, facing toward our table. Saul glances at me, narrows his eyes, says something to Con and Pea and walks away with blondie in tow.

I guess that’s our night finished then.

When we get back over to our table, Con and Pea are quiet. Dane walks over to Con and they talk in whispered tones.

I turn to Pea. “You okay?” I ask and she looks up at me and grabs my forearm.

“Are
you
okay?” she asks me right back and I nod.

“Of course,” my answer is automatic, but my voice catches in my throat as I lie.

She knows how I’ve always felt about Saul. She’s one of the only people who actually knows how deep my feelings run. I gave up on the chance of an
us
and of anything romantic a long time ago.

“Saul, Con!” I heard Stacy before I saw her. We were walking home, away from school. It was a Friday all four of us were in high spirits. Then she opened her mouth and I felt my cheerfulness slip out through the souls of my feet.

“Hey,” Saul said as Stacy and Ellie caught up to us. Pea looked over at me and rolled her eyes.

Yeah, that pretty much summed it up.

“So, do you lot want to come to the cinema tonight?” Ellie asked. Now both Pea and I knew she wasn’t really asking us, but we still answered in unison, “No!” It was almost sung out and we grinned at each other while the girls glared at us.

“Nah, I have shit to do,” Con replied and Stacy tried pouting which made Pea snort with laughter. Stacy gave Pea a dirty look.

“Saul?” Ellie asked.

“Not me. Another time, maybe,” he answered with a shrug and I felt butterflies in my tummy. Tonight we were supposed to be going to Con’s house when his mum was at bingo and it was my night to talk to Saul about my feelings. Pea said I needed to get it out in the open. Be honest she said, so I was going to try.

Three hours later and we were all at Con’s. We’d already consumed two pizzas and a bottle of his mum’s wine. So even between four of us, as we didn’t regularly drink, we were suitably buzzed.

Pea and Con had disappeared into the kitchen for some unknown reason, so this was my chance.

“Saul,” I said.

“Yeah babe,” he answered. He was over the other side of the room, so in my slightly drunken state, I decided that crawling over to him on all fours was the way to go. I shuffled forward and managed a few feet. I crawled down the narrow path that was between the sofa and the coffee table and found myself falling against the sofa, my limbs wouldn’t propel me forward so for a moment I was static. Then Saul started laughing and moved to help me.