Love & Redemption (27 page)

“No. You don’t entirely understand.”

“Explain it to me.”

“I’m the problem, not you.” She grabbed his hand, kissing his palm before clasping it to her chest, still not looking at him. “If I tell you I love you, something could happen. You just gave the short list of all the people who left me. Even if you don’t want to leave, you can’t stop death. What if loving me kills you?”

“Ghosts, curses, and now superstitions.” He struggled to contain his mirth, but failed.

Shelley’s eyes popped open to glare at him when his chuckle escaped. “I’m glad you can laugh about your impending demise.”

“You don’t really believe that, do you?”

She clutched his hand tighter. “Not really, but obviously something’s wrong with me. Everyone I love leaves me, one way or another. I don’t want you to leave, too.”

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Shelley held her breath, waiting for Gavin’s response. She knew she was being silly, but she couldn’t shake the irrational fear.

“I would never choose to leave you.” Gavin leaned close, pressing his stubbly cheek against hers. “As far as dying, everyone does eventually. Loving each other won’t affect how long we get to live. But having your love would make whatever time I have worth living.”

She breathed in deeply, inhaling his warm scent. The feel of his hand in hers was comforting. He didn’t pull away, and he didn’t make fun of her fears. He actually made everything much easier than she thought he would. One great thing about Gavin, he was hurt and angry just moments earlier, but didn’t hold a grudge.

“I don’t want to live without you either, Gavin,” she whispered. “As scared as I am to love you and lose you, it’s too late for me, really. I already love you.”

He pushed out a large exhalation of air and pulled her into his chest. “Earlier, I thought you had a different answer, and I couldn’t handle that. I shouldn’t have stormed out on you today.”

His mouth found hers. Gavin greedily nibbled at her bottom lip and then caressed the corner with his tongue. She opened up to him, heart racing as his hand gripped her neck, pulling her even closer.

Not breaking off their lip lock, Shelley pushed him onto the bed, then climbed on top of his lap the way she had at the opera house. Though her leg grumbled with pain, Gavin’s touch was enough painkiller to make it bearable. Caressing his head, the silky feel of his brown hair beneath her fingers made her want more of him. She stroked one hand down his neck and onto the smooth contours of his bare back, rubbing her chest against him while she moved.

Gavin broke off the kiss, instead laying a trail of kisses across her face until he reached her ear, sucking on the sensitive spot just below her lobe.

A tremble of desire shot through her as her lower half blazed to life, dampening her panties. He felt so good. His tongue prodded and played along her neck and behind her ear, and every once in a while, Gavin let her feel teeth. She wanted more...no, needed it. Every second of her enforced celibacy weighed on her, screaming at her to end it with Gavin’s help.

She leaned back from him slightly, fumbling at the buttons on her blouse while he struggled to latch his mouth onto her neck in their shifted position. “I want you, Gavin.”

She only managed to get the top two buttons unfastened before his hands covered hers, stilling her movement.

His breathing was just as labored as hers when he pulled away, but Gavin squeezed her hands and stared into her eyes. The pale green of his pierced straight through her. Gavin had seen her more clearly than any other person had, but she didn’t understand what those eyes were telling her now.

“What are you doing?” The petulant sound in her voice made her feel somewhat childish, but she didn’t care. “Why are you stopping me?”

A half grin crossed his face. “Because I’m crazy?”

“For sure. Knock that off.” She pushed his hands away and went to work on the next button. “I’m past ready to be with you and have some fun.”

“But we were going to wait. Are you sure you’re ready?”

His hot breath bathing her face and neck made her shivery all over. “I’m sure.” She paused, her libido taking a small hit as a thought occurred to her. “Wait. Are you sure?”

He nodded and moved his hands to her blouse once again, only this time it wasn’t to stop her from taking it off. He stroked her breasts through the thin fabric, finding her erect nipples with his thumbs and grazing across them, sending a pulse of pleasure straight to her center and making her even wetter. He kissed her again, softly this time.

“I’m ready,” he said against her mouth. “But not for fun. I’m ready to make love to you.”

An explosion of happiness rivaled the pleasure her body felt. No one had ever made love with her before. Sure, sex had been fun, but that wasn’t the same as making love. This was a first, and it was special.

She shoved against his chest, and Gavin complied by falling backward. She followed him down to the mattress, covering him in kisses.

“Not that I’m complaining about the reaction, but are you okay?” he asked once she let up on the assault. He caressed her cheek, wiping away moisture she hadn’t realized was there.

She nodded, rolling to the side and snuggling next to him. Running her hand down his chest, she followed the trail of dark hair and slipped her fingers on top of his pants, stroking the length of his hardness. “I’m better than okay, Gavin. I’ve never been so happy.” She laughed, squeezing him. “Or so ready. Make love to me.”

“Don’t have to ask me twice.” He quickly complied with her demands, standing up to unbutton his pants then kick his clothes away.

Shelley let out a soft whistle. Gavin might not be the most powerfully built man, but every inch of him was defined and solid in a sleek, compact way. From his shapely waist all the way down to his sexy legs, he was the vision of perfection.

A gleam of amusement shone from his green eyes. “Enjoying what you see?”

“Oh, yeah!”

“Good, because it’s your turn now in our show and tell.”

A momentary qualm squeezed her heart. This would be the first time a man saw her completely naked since she’d been shot. Sure, flashing her panties at Gavin to turn him on when she knew he wouldn’t do anything about it was fun. Baring herself completely for him was an entirely different matter.

Which was silly. She’d never cared before what a man thought of her body. In fact, she was confident most men didn’t really care when sex was in the offing. They’d pretty much go for anyone that let them.

Maybe that was why she felt so nervous. Gavin had already proven he wasn’t that type of man. On top of that, he loved her. She wanted him to be happy with his choice.

Puffing out a shaky breath, she finished unfastening the buttons on her shirt, letting it hang loose on her. She stood beside Gavin and kicked off her shoes, grimacing slightly when the motion flared the pain in her leg. Once her pants were off, she hesitated. Any more clothing, and it would be more than she’d showed off in a long time.

“You’re trembling. Are you scared?” He took a step into her and kissed her lips, pulling back to run his thumb over her bottom lip. “There’s nothing to be nervous about. I love you.”

She clasped her hands together in front of her, forming a barricade between them. “I’ve never made love before.”

A smile lit his eyes. “So, I’m your first.”

That startled her into a laugh. “In a way, I guess so.”

He rubbed his fingers across the tops of her hands, relaxing her with his tenderness. “I promise to be gentle.”

Tucking his hands along the inside edges of her shirt, he tugged it open, and she allowed him to draw it off her shoulders. As soon as it dropped, his arms surrounded her as he worked on the clasp of her bra. When it popped open, he kissed the top of her shoulder and then stepped back, skimming his hands over her hips and the fabric of her black panties.

“You’re a vision in beauty,” he whispered in an awed voice, eyeing her up and down. “How could one guy get so lucky?”

Encouraged, she let the bra slide forward, covering her breasts with her arm to pull one strap off. Finally, taking another deep breath for courage, she uncovered herself and dropped the fabric to the ground.

Gavin’s enthralled face stayed the same for a second, but then his eyebrows narrowed. “Is that what the gunshot did to you?” He gently touched the scared, ugly skin below her left shoulder. “It’s a miracle you lived.”

“Yes, it is.” She always kept the scar hidden by her clothing, and she wondered if it repulsed him.

He kissed the skin, putting her worries to rest. “When you think about it, that’s what brought us together, but I’m sorry you had to go through it.”

While she was glad he wasn’t turned off, she didn’t follow his line of thinking. “My getting shot had nothing to do with you.”

“True, but it’s why you were in that opera house alone, waiting for us to find each other. Waiting to find love.”

His hot palms trailed down her sides, sending fresh thrills of excitement that settled down low. Shelley clenched tightly, excitement totally replacing her anxieties. Gavin inserted his hands on either side of her panties and tugged them down, trailing kisses across her breasts and stomach as he pulled the underwear to the ground.

He stayed crouched down a few moments, kissing each of Shelley’s thighs before working his way back up, finally landing another kiss on her lips. “Gorgeous,” he murmured. “And all mine.”

He reached behind her head, releasing the clasp on her barrette and letting her long hair cascade around them. She felt sexy and naughty all at once when Gavin shuddered with obvious delight.

She found his shaft again, this time gripping it directly in her palm and stroking the length of it. “Gorgeous,” she mimicked. “And all mine.”

Laughing, he gripped her hips, lifting her onto the bed as though she weighed nothing. He pushed her against the pillows and climbed up next to her, his thumb once again finding one nipple while his mouth captured the other. He bit down enough to cause a delicious prick of pain that made her gush with desire.

“I want you inside me,” she pleaded.

His tongue swirled her tight bud and his other hand rubbed her stomach. “Patience, beautiful. Your first time should be something special.” Gavin teased the tuft of hair at her crotch.

She spread her legs and arched her back to entice him lower. “This is special. It really is.”

Complying with the demands of her body, Gavin moved lower. His fingers glided lightly across her clit—which burned with need for more of his touch—and onto the folds of her womanhood to find her wetness. He dipped one long finger inside her, plundering her depth before pulling out.

Clenching with desire for more, she arched her hips, moaning softly. “Please.”

Inside once more and moving his finger gently, Gavin’s mouth also latched onto her collarbone, sucking powerfully. The combination made her nipples form into even stiffer peaks as she shuddered all over. When Gavin left the clenched heat of her once again to move upward, his quick, feathery strokes against her pulsating clit made her squeal with passion while she moved her hips to rub his finger against her more aggressively.

Gavin brought her right to the brink. Shelley was so close. She could see the goal line. Suddenly, he stopped, stroking his palm up her stomach to once again find her other nipple and massage it with his wet fingers.

Shuddering, Shelley panted, feeling cheated. “Why did you stop?”

He strained against her neck, kissing his way up to breathe in her ear, “I want this to last.”

With that, he moved his hand back between her legs, stroking and caressing her to near mind-numbing completion before stopping and letting her rest in a shuddering heap of need.

There was only one way to put a stop to this. Shelley tugged gently on Gavin’s hair, tilting his head back so she could cover his mouth with hers. She ran her tongue along the inside of his mouth, still panting with desperation. With her other hand, she found his rigid staff, palming it with steady pressure all the way to the base and then up to the tip, finding her rhythm quickly.

When Gavin’s breathing changed, telling her he was getting close, she released him. With a smirk on her face, she leaned back in the pillows to smile up at him. “Is this how the game is played? I’m new to all this, you know.”

Gavin nodded, his green eyes burring into her. He licked his lips with such seduction, Shelley had to wonder at his control. She wanted him inside her. As fun as this teasing was, she wanted his love to fill her entirely.

She strained toward him, stroking his sleek chest as she sucked his tongue into her mouth. She found the head of his shaft again, caressing it lightly with just her fingertip.

Shuddering against her, Gavin broke off the kiss. “Enough playing.”

He fumbled behind his back, opening the drawer on the nightstand. When he pulled the condom from it, Shelley giggled.

“Pretty confident this was going to happen, huh?”

“I told you before, a man can dream.” He sheathed himself in the latex before looking at her again. “This is way better than any dream I could come up with, though.”

With that, Gavin crawled across her, nestling between her legs. His hard cock pressed against her, rising her excitement. Soon, they would join in a way she thought she had experienced before, but knew this time would be different. Better. The feeling of homecoming for was so right. Gavin was made for her, and she for him.

Wrapping her legs around his waist, she squeezed him tightly, rubbing herself against him. Gavin leaned into her. His weight pinned her to the bed as his chest pressed her down. He kissed her once again. The tenderness in him as his lips lightly touched hers made her want him even more.

He propped himself on one forearm, brushing her hair away from her face with his other hand. “I love you.”

Tears of happiness pricked her eyes. “I love you, too.”

Nodding slightly, as if to himself, Gavin reached down and guided himself into her opening. The feeling of rightness grew even stronger. As Gavin pumped himself into her, each stroke raised her excitement and her confirmation they were doing the right thing.