Love & Redemption (12 page)

“Yeah, me too.” He pulled two glasses from beneath the counter. “What can I get you and your friend to drink?”

“I was really hoping you had some coffee back there,” Shelley said hopefully. “Mom and Dad don’t drink it.”

He smiled and turned to the pot behind him, filling two mugs and handing them across the counter. “It’s pretty darn good, even if I do say so. I hope you like it strong, though.” He jerked his head to the end of the bar. “Something has to keep those two partially sober.”

Shelley nodded gratefully and emptied a round cup of creamer into her mug. “Strong is great by me.”

She led Gavin past the old pool tables in the center of the room to a booth in the back and slid onto the cracked vinyl bench. Though she expected Gavin to take the other side, he placed his coffee mug next to hers and scooted beside her.

“So, Barrett...he’s my competition?” His green eyes twinkled beneath the low-hanging lamp over their table. “I didn’t know you had a man waiting for you here.”

“Apparently,” she said softly, “he’s waiting in prison, but who’s keeping track?”

Gavin shrugged. “Guess it’s good to know time behind bars doesn’t automatically knock me out of the running.”

Taking a sip of the hot coffee, she decided it was time to find out more about his past. “What were you in for? Theft?”

He nodded. “And drugs.”

Shelley felt her mouth make a small ‘O’ of surprise and she quickly closed it. He hadn’t shown any judgment about her past; she shouldn’t judge him.

“I didn’t do drugs,” he quickly amended, clasping his hands around the coffee mug and staring at it intently. “Just a job to make some money so me and Mom could eat. The drug charges on top of the theft got me thrown in juvie for four years. Probably saved my life.”

He finally looked up. Shelley couldn’t be sure, but moisture seemed to lurk in his eyes.

“Too bad Mom could never get off the drugs.” He shook his head and blinked a few times. “Killed her before I got out. Her friend told me that once she started on meth, it really didn’t take all that long.”

Though Gavin no longer looked like he was going to cry, Shelley blinked back a few tears of her own. All this time she’d felt sorry for herself because her father was an asshole and her brother was dead, and Gavin must have been thinking that at least she still had her parents. Things could be worse.

“I’m sorry, Gavin,” she finally managed.

He shook his head. “Don’t be. She’s at peace. I had a good childhood, but Pop died in a work accident when I was ten. Mom never could let go of the pain of losing him, and she turned to drugs. Blew all the money his company gave us in the settlement pretty quick, and then we lived on the streets. We visited his grave every day, unless Mom was too messed up.”

Gavin’s tone was so flat and devoid of emotion, Shelley was sure the memories must hurt more than he let on. No wonder he’d tried to deflect attention from his own life earlier. She leaned into him, and Gavin put his arm around her shoulder, pulling her against his chest like he’d done outside the cemetery.

Shelley held him close, doing her best to comfort him. “I wish you’d had a grandma around to help you.”

He buried his face in her hair, breathing in deeply. “I would probably still have made bad choices, Shell. That’s what I was trying to explain. Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is, you need to forgive yourself for the past and move forward. We can’t stop the decisions made by people we love, and we can’t change the choices we made in the past.” His lips lightly brushed her cheek as he moved back from her. “All we can change is the future.”

“You’re right.” She took a drink, remembering what Gavin told Nick. “Sounds like you did pretty well for yourself after getting out of juvenile detention. Running a fancy hotel and everything. You must have started making good choices earlier than me.”

“Maybe, but I still trusted the wrong person and got stabbed in the back, which led me right back to stealing diamonds.” He shrugged. “Enough about that. Tell me about Tony.”

Shelley closed her eyes, drawn back to that last day on the lake as if it was yesterday. The hot sun beat down on her as she sat in the rowboat. Tony’s bright blue eyes and white smile glimmered at her when he teased about the neighbor kid leaving a flower on the front porch that morning.

They made plans to talk Dad into taking them out to the firing range once it cooled off that evening. Tony had just started teaching her, and she loved it. Even the kick of the gun didn’t frighten her. She knew Tony would never let her do something dangerous. He loved her and took care of her. He’d always be there for her.

“We had a summer home at Lake Champlain.” Shelley kept her eyes closed, remembering the crystal blue water and green mountains surrounding it. “Mom and Dad went to get groceries that afternoon. We weren’t supposed to go on the water without them home, but Tony was sixteen, nearly an adult. I said I was too hot, and he said we should take the rowboat out on the lake where it was cooler. He promised we’d get home before our parents. No one would ever know.”

“Classic rebellion against your father.” Gavin shifted slightly. “I’m guessing Rick was pretty strict with Tony?”

Shelley opened her eyes and sipped her coffee. “Tony was skilled at martial arts and Dad put a lot of pressure on him to keep that up, win competitions and such. Tony wasn’t really allowed to date or have any fun. I didn’t realize it as a child, but looking back, I’m sure he must have resented that quite a bit.”

“And you were a wedge that came between him and your father?”

Shelley wondered how Gavin knew that. Maybe just the way Rick acted now. “I wanted to join karate and shoot guns and do stuff with the boys. Dad said no, but Tony started refusing to go unless Dad let me tag along. I went everywhere with Tony from about the age of four until...that day.”

“So your dad heard you were too hot and Tony took you out on the lake. Because of that, he put all the blame for an accident on the shoulders of a seven-year-old child?” Gavin’s hand resting on the table balled into a fist. “I mean, I’m assuming that’s what happened, otherwise why talk about this day.”

“Yes. That’s what happened.” Shelley didn’t want to remember anymore. She tried to push it away and rush through the story. “We were far out on the lake. I think Tony actually wanted Mom and Dad to get home before us. I think he wanted Dad to know he broke the rules. Everything would have been fine, but a storm came up out of nowhere. It was just a little rowboat. It didn’t stand a chance against the current and the waves.”

When the boat tipped over, spilling them into the cold water of the lake, Shelley still thought everything would be okay. Tony never let her down before. He’d find a way to save them.

“The boat tipped, and Tony knew we were in trouble. We didn’t even bring out life jackets.” Different times. These days, everyone knew about simple safety and that would never happen. “Tony discovered a space between the underside of the seats and bottom of the overturned boat that was filled with air. He stuck me in there once he realized I wasn’t strong enough to keep treading water.”

Shelley shuddered, remembering the hours trapped inside that small space. The cold water lapped at her back and legs, sometimes rising to splash into her mouth and choke her.

“He said he would swim for help, but never came back. I was so afraid, but didn’t dare get out.”

“Shit.” Gavin cupped Shelley’s cheeks in his hands and pressed his forehead against hers. “No wonder small spaces scare you.”

Shelley nodded, choking back a sob. “When Mom and Dad got home and realized the boat was missing, they went to our neighbors’. They had a motor boat and everyone searched for us. They found me at sunset.”

She plunged her face into the cradle of Gavin’s shoulder and neck, unable to stop her tears. He gently patted her back and made soothing sounds in the back of his throat.

“Divers found Tony’s body three days later,” she got out through her tears. “He never made it close to shore.”

Shelley didn’t know how long she sat crying in Gavin’s arms, but he rubbed her back and softly whispered that everything was over and she would be okay. Mr. Darrell came by once and filled their coffee, but left without saying a word.

She finally pulled herself together and sat up, wiping mascara off her face. “I must look a mess.” She sighed. “I never cry, you know? Never. Now you’ve started the waterworks twice in less than an hour.”

Gavin wiped her cheek, likely removing some black that she missed. “Maybe you’d feel better if you did it more often.”

“My head is pounding, I feel foolish, and I must look horrible. I don’t think crying’s the answer.”

Gavin chuckled. “You could never look less than beautiful, and you have no reason to feel foolish.”

“You didn’t cry about your mom.” Shelley chewed on her lip, wondering if that was unforgivably rude to say, but just because he was a guy didn’t mean he couldn’t be sad too.

“I’ve cried over Mom quite a bit. Especially back when I blamed myself for getting caught and not being around to take care of her.” He shrugged. “When I came to terms with the fact that I couldn’t help her and had to take care of myself, I quit crying. I still miss the person she was before Dad died, but she wasn’t really fit to even take care of herself afterward, let alone a son.”

She nodded. “Fair enough. It wasn’t your fault, so you shouldn’t feel guilty.”

“Tony’s death wasn’t your fault either.”

“Even though I said I was too hot, and that’s the reason he thought of the boat, I’m starting to realize that, too. Tony made the decision. I was just a little girl who would do whatever her big brother wanted to do.”

“Good.” Gavin stretched in the booth beside her. “Now that we have our sad histories out of the way, what’s say we have a little fun?”

It was a quick change in mood, but exactly what she needed. “What do you have in mind?”

Gavin looked across to the pool tables. “How about we make a wager on a friendly game of pool?”

“A wager?” Shelley tucked her hair behind her ear, curious where this was heading. “Neither of us have much money. What are the stakes?”

“If I win, you have to kiss me.” He smirked, challenge clear in his eyes.

“I’m pretty good at pool,” she warned. “What if I win?”

“You name the penalty.”

“If I win. Hmmm...”

“I could kiss you,” Gavin whispered.

“No! Then you get what you want either way.” She grinned. “I know. If I win, you owe me a back massage tonight before bed.”

“Really?” He nodded agreement, and his smirk spread to a full smile. “We’re both winners either way.”

***

That night as Gavin made his bed on the floor, Shelley smiled across the room at him. “I think it’s time for someone to pay up.”

His head jerked up and he glared at her. “You cheated!”

Mirth once again overcame her. Spending the day with Gavin had been one of the best she remembered in a long time. Even sharing their sad memories had been nice in a way. Sorrow shared was sorrow halved, or something like that.

That didn’t mean she’d let him call her a cheater. “Just because I inhaled deeply while you shot for the eight ball doesn’t mean I cheated. I was having a hard time catching my breath.”

“Your
breath
is close to what distracted me,” he grumbled, folding the fluffy comforter in half and laying it on the ground. “You stood right in front of the pocket.”

She shrugged and climbed on top of the bed, laying on her stomach and patting the mattress beside her. “And you scratched, so pay up.”

Gavin sighed, though Shelley got the impression he wasn’t actually angry as he sat beside her.

“We really should have bought you new pajamas,” he said.

Shelley folded her arms together and cradled her head on them. “Why? I have more at home. It would have been a waste of money.”

“Because that t-shirt doesn’t cover enough of your underwear to keep me from thinking how long it’s been since I’ve enjoyed...fun time with a lady.”

Part of her loved knowing Gavin responded to her body, which was why she kept flashing her panties at every opportunity, but it was wrong of her to make him so miserable. He was a gentleman, and she knew he’d never demand she take care of his suffering like other men she’d been with.

“Sorry, Gavin. Force of habit. I like pushing limits, but it’s not fair to you.” She scrambled beneath the sheet and pulled it around her waist. “Now you’re free to massage.”

“But I can still feel your body this way and imagine those sexy legs and it’s so hard.”

She laughed. “Yeah. I just bet it is.”

“We should skip the massage.”

Cocking her head over her shoulder, she frowned. “Are you really trying to get out of paying your debt? I thought you were such a gentleman.”

He laughed and shook his head, climbing across her legs and resting his weight against her butt. Even though Gavin was quite a bit heavier than she was and had her trapped, it didn’t frighten her. She felt comforted and safe with him.

“I don’t squelch on a deal.” His hands started at the small of her back and rubbed up to her shoulders across the top of her shirt. He moved back down, finding the tense muscles in her midback and working them with his nimble fingers.

Shelley tried to ignore the way Gavin’s crotch rubbed against her when he shifted positions. He hadn’t been entirely kidding about the sight of her body being ‘hard’ on him. What she had first imagined would be a relaxing reward for beating him at pool was quickly turning into an erotic reminder that Gavin was off limits and she was severely sex deprived.

Part of her wanted to tell him to stop, but his hands felt so good across her body. He tickled his way up to her neck, leaning down to press his chest against her back as he rubbed the base of her hairline with his thumbs.

“You’re so tense.” Instead of rubbing harder, his fingers took on a feather light touch and he caressed her jaw line and his lips brushed against her shoulder. “Is everything okay?”

He’s purposely trying to turn me on? Two can play at that game.

Shelley shifted her hips back and forth, rubbing her ass against Gavin’s crotch. “I’m fine. Whatever gave you the idea I was too tense?” Letting out a soft moan for good measure, she tipped her head into his hand. “You feel good.”