Love Realized (32 page)

“Oh, Jake …” she breathed out as she dug her fingers into his back. It was instinctual as she felt her hips lift to meet his movements. Each of his thrusts filled her up, and yet her body was demanding more. Wrapping her legs around his waist, she tried to pull him deeper, she had to have all of him. She shifted her hips trying to achieve this and felt him moan as his lips found the side of her neck. Her answering moan had his control slip more when she felt his hand slip beneath her, holding her body up to his.

It was all so much—so intense—the connection she seemed to have with Jake was more than she ever expected. It was more than she could have ever dreamed of. She felt the familiar ache begin to build in her core as his movements picked up pace, becoming more rigid. Running her hands down his back she could feel the sheen of sweat building on his skin as he continued moving deeply inside of her. She could tell he was still holding himself back, and she wanted to beg him for more. He told her to fall, but
he
wasn’t, and that just wouldn’t do. “Jake, please. More. I need you.”

“Gillian … God … you feel so amazing,” Jake panted out between thrusts as he set a vigorous pace to achieve the release they were both seeking. She was so close, it was right there, and she wanted him there, too. Running her hands down the top of his firm backside, she could feel the flexing of his muscles as he continued to arch his body into hers. She dug her nails into his muscles demanding more of him, and it was all Jake needed. His thrusts became erratic as he pulled her body up against him again and slammed into her. The orgasm that rocked through her body had her gasping for air as his body went rigid, and his lips slammed on top of hers. He swallowed her cry as his lips took hers in a fevered kiss that consumed her.

Collapsing on top of her and staying connected in the most intimate way, she held onto him—afraid she would float away if she let go of him. She could hear his words play over in her mind as she recalled him telling her it was perfect, and whatever reservations she had had about this vanished. Of course it was perfect.
He
was perfect.
They
were perfect together. They’d known each other and been best friends for years. How could this be anything but perfect?

Lifting his head, Jake kissed her face, her neck, and across her shoulders as she softly ran her hands up and down his back. Trying to recover and catch their breath, Jake panted out, “Gillian … my God. That was … there are … no words.”

Completely sated, she kissed him, then looked up into his eyes and said the only word she felt described what just happened between them, “Perfect.”

The instant she woke up and felt the hard warmth of a male chest beneath her cheek, the flood of memories from the night before rushed in. Lying there quietly, she assessed whether he was awake or not. Steady deep breathing and a slight snore, along with the heavy weight of the arm that was holding her down against him confirmed that he was.
Wow, I really slept with Jake Michaels…

Gently lifting her head, she peeked up at the strong lines of a distinctly masculine jaw slightly covered in beard stubble, the long eyelashes that lay on his cheek, covering up some of the most beautiful light brown eyes she had ever seen, the swoop of dark brown hair that laid across his forehead clearly tussled from their activities, and slightly parted lips that had been all over her body last night. She couldn’t stop the dreamy sigh that escaped her lips as she continued to gaze at him and recall what they had done together.

Needing to extricate herself from his hold since Mother Nature was calling, but not wanting to wake him yet, she reached back and grabbed his hand on her back to hold it in place. Once secured, she rolled over on top of his arm. Careful not to hurt his hand once she had his arm flush with the bed, she rolled one more time, which had on her stomach at the edge of the bed looking back at the sleeping form next to her.
Yep, sure did,
she thought.

Another sigh escaped as she continued to take him in. Damn, he was a gorgeous specimen. It’s no wonder she lost all semblance of control and practically climbed his body to get at him last night. She can’t even blame it on the alcohol, considering she’d only had two glasses of wine when she came home. Gently shifting to roll onto her back, she groaned inwardly as she laid her arm across her eyes trying to block out the reality of what she had done—how she had seriously complicated her already complicated life.

Glancing over at his profile once more before deciding that she needed to get up and shower, and try to gather her thoughts while not laying a foot away from a man she shouldn’t be trusted around. It was almost comical to think about how she couldn’t trust herself around him when he was one of the people she trusted most in this world. Carefully rolling out of bed, she silently padded over to the bathroom and gently shut the door behind her.

Okay, it was time to get her shit together. So she slept with Jake … big deal right? Well, yes, she knew it was a big deal; it’s just that things seemed a whole lot scarier the morning after. Then she groaned out loud at the thought of doing the ‘morning after thing’ with one of her best friends. That was so not a cool thought.

She took care of her business, cringing slightly when she thought the noise she made could have woken Jake up. Well, he was bound to wake up sooner or later, and she would have to deal with it then. She knew she couldn’t regret what happened last night; she just hoped that he didn’t regret it either. Even though she had only been with Logan before last night, she would have to say it was very satisfying. It was great. Okay, who was she kidding? It was freaking fantastic! Perfect.

She sighed again as she turned the shower on. Completely lost in her recollection of last night’s lovemaking, her body overheated at just the thought of what they did last night, she got in before it was warm enough and sucked in a breath at the shock of the cold water hitting her body. Standing back a bit to let it warm up, she took inventory of the aches and soreness her body was sporting this morning. Clearly Jake was a talented man and knew exactly what to do to a woman, which of course should serve as a reminder that Jake has had far more sexual partners than she did. Not that it was a stretch to have more partners than her, but it was slightly daunting to accept that she was probably not as satisfying for him as he was for her. The disappointment of that thought was more upsetting than she cared to admit.

Closing her eyes she let the soothing warmth of the water pound on her face and head, letting the pressure hit the tense muscles of her shoulders. Almost immediately, she felt some of her tension dissipate. That is, until she heard the distinct sound of someone relieving themselves in the toilet not three feet away from where she was. Instantly tensing, she kept her eyes closed as if she was the one intruding on someone when it was the other way around. It’s not like she hadn’t ever been in the bathroom when someone was using it; however, she was married to that man. This was Jake—someone she wasn’t on that level of comfort with yet. But apparently he was. She smiled to herself, but kept her eyes closed and stayed quiet. Almost like she was hiding from him … in the shower … with the water running. A small giggle escaped her at the ridiculousness of her thoughts. She was still smiling when she heard the shower door open and a strong, distinctly aroused male body pressed up against her from behind.

~*~*~*~*~
~*~*~*~*~

Jake curled his arms around her waist and gently pulled her tighter against him as he leaned down to kiss her wet shoulder. “What’s so funny in here?” he asked. She giggled more, which of course only made him harder for her. He continued to kiss and nibble on her shoulder as he moved up her neck while he waited for her to answer.

“Did you just pee in the same bathroom I was showering in?” she asked as her giggle turned into a small sigh while she tilted her head to the side, giving him more access to her neck.

God how hot was that,
he thought.
He couldn’t help the slight growl that escaped him as he moved one of his hands up the front of her body to cup her breasts. The pure predatory feeling that overcame him with her was slightly overwhelming. He had never felt like that with any other woman. But then again, he knew that was because this was the one woman he had always wanted.

“Yes, I did. Does that bother you or something? I would’ve thought that after what we did to each other last night, something as simple as taking a leak would be nothing. Be thankful I remembered to do it out there. I was in such a hurry to get in here and touch your wet, naked body that I almost forgot.”

“You’re right, I am glad you remembered, because I draw the line at you peeing on me, Jake Michaels! That would be crossing a line …
every
line.” She laughed a breathy laugh as she gave into what he was doing to her. He couldn’t get enough of her—he had to touch her. When he rolled over this morning and reached for her, a moment of panic and disappointment hit him before he realized that she was in the shower. But then he couldn’t get out of bed fast enough to get to her. Even though he had wanted to wake up with her in his arms, he would settle for an early morning shower with her.

“Exactly how I thought you would feel, my dear. Besides, I don’t need to pee on you … I’ve already left my mark on you … in you. My essence was left deep inside your body last night. Several times I might add. You are mine, Gillian.”

He felt her body tense slightly, and he knew that something was bothering her. He wasn’t going to let anything ruin this, so he was going to address it now. He turned her around in his arms, but kept her tight against his body so she couldn’t get away from him. Her head was down, and she wouldn’t look at him. “Hey, what’s wrong, baby?”

She took in a visibly deep breath before saying, “Nothing.” He knew was a lie. Maybe she was upset that they didn’t use protection. Shit, did he ruin this because he couldn’t be patient enough to get inside her body? But she said he didn’t need to use protection. Did she not feel as deeply for him as he did for her? Was she upset because he called her his? Before he could let panic engulf him, he took her chin in his hands and tilted her face up to look at his. “Tell me … please. I need to know what you’re thinking because I could go crazy just fearing what you might be thinking. Do you regret what happened between us last night?”

“No! Oh god, Jake, no! Not in any way do I regret being with you. It was … wonderful.” He relaxed slightly—that was good to know. Wonderful was a great description, he thought, as he mentally patted himself on the back for his performance. He could tell she was still tense, though, so he prodded further. “Then what is it? Is it because we didn’t use protection … because I promise you I am clean, and I know that you are, too.”

She softened a little bit and gave him a slight smile. “No, Jake, I know you would never put me at risk. I know you’re clean, and yes I am, too. And since I had my tubes tied when I had Dylan, there is no risk there for pregnancy.” He couldn’t help the slight bit of disappointment he felt at the thought of Gillian never being able to carry his child, but it was how things were. “It’s just that … I was worried about whether it was wonderful for you, too.” The last part of her statement came out very low as she lowered her face to his chest to hide it in obvious embarrassment.
She didn’t think she pleased him? Did she really think he didn’t enjoy himself?
Was she there?
Well he would squash that asinine thought out for sure.

Once again tilting her face back up to look him in the eye, he made sure she made eye contact with him before he spoke to her, “Do you really have to wonder that, baby? Did you really not know how I felt last night?”

“Well, obviously you were
satisfied
… it’s just that, I know I lack in the sexual experience department—as far as partners go. And I was worried that maybe it wasn’t as good as it could’ve been for you because I know you have been with more people than me. And I don’t want …” He cut off her rambling statement when he slanted his mouth over hers. She didn’t think he enjoyed it … well, he would show her how fantastic it was between them.

With his mouth over hers, he felt her open to him, and his tongue plunged inside. She was his, and he was going to satisfy her and show her exactly how satisfied he was with her. He turned their bodies and pressed her up against the tiled wall. He felt her quick intake of breath as her heated body made contact with the cooler tiles. But it didn’t give him pause. The caveman in him had one mission and one mission only: take his woman, and make sure she knew he didn’t care how experienced she was because she was all he wanted. Almost breathless with his onslaught on her mouth, he moved to her cheek and jawline as he made his way down her neck. Her hands were on his neck, in his hair, almost guiding him where she wanted him.

Sliding his hands to her waist, he grabbed on and lifted her up the wall. On pure reflex, she held onto his shoulders and wrapped her legs around his waist as he lowered her body onto his. They both sighed at the feeling of her body wrapped tightly around his sex as he settled himself deep … deep inside her body. He tore his mouth away from her neck and looked at her. Her beautiful skin was flush, whether it was from the heat of the shower or the arousal he knew she was feeling, he didn’t know. He allowed his body to withdraw part way and then slowly thrust back in. The sigh she made, coupled with her half lidded stare and the simultaneous clench her sex made around his, was one of the most erotic things he had ever witnessed.