Love Love (20 page)

I suddenly feel an overwhelming ache
in my heart for him. “Brad, I’m so sorry.”

“
They were the two most
important women in my life. I got the tattoo in remembrance,
although it would be impossible to forget either one of them. They
were both so full of life, and appreciated it in a way I’ve always
admired. You actually remind me of them in some ways.”

I don’t know what to say. Reaching
over, I weave my fingers through his. Brad looks down at our hands
and pauses a moment before he continues.

“
My mom was so amazing. She
was always there for me. When I was a kid, she played with me all
the time. Whether I was in the mud, playing basketball, or
roughhousing, she was always right there beside me. She was a
constant in my life, and I always knew she loved me no matter what
I did.

“
She sounds like she was
very special.”

“
Yeah,” he sighs. She
really was. It was so hard when she got sick, though. I had to
watch as the disease took over her body and her mind until I no
longer recognized her anymore. After she died, I was lost. I needed
her so badly. So I started skipping school and purposely getting
into fights. I was so angry, and just didn’t know how to handle
it.”

“
I can’t imagine what that
must have been like for you.”

“
I just wanted her back,
you know. My dad put me in therapy for a while, before he went off
the deep end himself. Now he lives in Ohio and is a bit of a
recluse. He took her death really hard; not that I blame him. She
was the love of his life. After that, he was never the same. He
just became…lifeless and bitter.”

“
So, do you still have
contact with him?”

“
No, not anymore. He blames
the world for my mom’s death. I felt that way, too, at first. I had
so many questions and I was angry. But over time and with therapy,
I realized I’d never know why. And for whatever reason, God felt
that it was her time. When my sister passed though, that was the
last straw for Dad. It pushed him over the edge. She’d been sick
for a while and we had to watch her disappear right in front of our
eyes.” His eyes have a faraway look and there’s a hint of a smile
on his lips. “Clara was a real spitfire…larger than life. She had a
mind of her own and no one could tell her anything. I remember just
before she got diagnosed she was planning on backpacking across
Europe. When we found out about the cancer, my dad practically
forbade her to go because he was afraid something would happen to
her while she was gone.” He chuckles. “But did she go? She sure as
hell did. She said, ‘“Hey, if I’m dying, I might as well go out
with a bang. The living have to keep on living.’” His eyes make
their way to mine. “I miss her fire…her spirit.”

“
What about your brother,
Matt?”

“
Since he lives in Los
Angeles, we don’t see each other a lot, but we’re really close. We
talk on the phone every other day, and make an effort to fly out
and see each other at least four times a year.”

Brad looks at me now. “How about your
family? I’ve only heard you talk about them briefly.”

“
Ah…that’s a dysfunctional
story at best. How much time do you have?” He just stares at me,
waiting for me to go on. “My mom and dad are very self-absorbed, so
needless to say we’re not very close. They never supported my
choices unless it was what they wanted for me. I’m kind of a big
disappointment to them. My dad lives his own life with his new wife
in Atlanta and barely has time for me unless he happens to be in
the neighborhood. My mom is so wrapped up with her clothing store
in San Francisco and her new boyfriend every six months that the
best she can do is call me once a month, if that. I have a sister,
but we’re not close. They don’t get me. They never did.”

“
I’m really sorry, Gabby.”
He squeezes my hand.

“
It’s okay. They just don’t
know who I am. They don’t even know how much I like chocolate. Or
that my favorite thing in the whole world is to curl up with a good
book and get lost, and when I’m finished reading how sometimes I’m
in tears because I’m affected so much. Because I feel so deeply.
They tend to do a lot of talking and not much listening. After a
while, I just stopped trying to talk to them. I guess I gave up on
them ever really knowing me.” Tears are starting to surface and I
move to cover my face.

Brad leans in and presses a kiss to my
cheek. His lips feel so soft. “It’s their loss, Gabby. They’re
missing out on someone very special.”

The hour is getting late and Brad and
I decide to call it a night. A part of me doesn’t want him to
leave. I like having him here. He makes me forget.

Grabbing his leather jacket off the
chair, I hand it to him, but not before I inhale the faint scent of
Brad mixed with coffee.

I look into Brad’s eyes with complete
sincerity. “Thank you, for showing me who you are
tonight.”

He leans forward and places a sweet,
lingering kiss on my cheek that warms my skin. “Thank you for
sharing Julia Roberts with me,” he says with a gleam in his
eye.

***

I
didn’t sleep well, my mind consumed with thoughts of soft brown
eyes and tattoos. In fact, those are the same brown eyes that have
been consuming my dreams night after night. Even though Dane and I
aren’t exclusive, or really dating, feelings of guilt are seeping
into my brain but flickers of happiness seem to be melting them
away, slowly but surely.

The bright blue sky and warm sunlight
awakens me. I must’ve been drooling last night, because my hair is
glued to my face and I’m practically eating it. Gross. I step into
the shower and take a little bit too long scrubbing myself as my
mind drifts to the soft lips that I’m desperate to kiss.

Fran is still sleeping and I nudge her
before I leave so she’s not late for work. I don’t remember
exactly, but there’s some big account and she has to go in for a
few dreaded hours on a Saturday. Giving her a quick peck on the
cheek, I head out the door.

I find myself grinning as I walk the
streets of Manhattan today. In fact, I’m grinning so much that I
feel as though everyone is staring at me like I have a big secret.
Well, maybe I do. On the way to The Brew House, I walk by a store
that catches my eye. There are cards and plaques with simple quotes
about life in the window, but what I notice most is a wristband
with a pink ribbon for breast cancer awareness. I have just enough
time to stop. Walking inside the store, I make my way over to the
display. Most of the bracelets look pretty feminine, but then I see
one that’s stainless steel and leather. There are two ropes of
black with a tiny pink ribbon imprinted on a stainless steel clasp.
Perfect.

Taking a deep breath, I join the line
at the coffee shop. When Brad’s eyes meet mine, my pulse quickens.
There’s been a shift of some sort; I can feel it. Something about
him pulls at me strongly, like we’re having some sort of tug of war
and I’m losing. There are no flirty girls today, so I’m able to
make my way right up to the counter.

Brad’s smile reflects mine. “Morning,
cutie.”

I melt just like the Wicked Witch.
“Morning,” I reply, unable to do anything else but
smile.

“
Did you sleep well last
night?”

Yes, because I was dreaming of you,
again. “Yeah, really well.” I have to look away for a moment to
hide the four shades of pink crawling up my cheeks.

“
So, what do you want
today?” Brad says with his lopsided dimple.

That now-familiar blush seems to have
settled in for the long haul. “I’ll have an iced vanilla latte,
please.”

“
Absolutely.”

I need to give Dane a call. I told him
we’d get together this week. He called twice last night and once
already this morning. I tried ignoring, but I don’t think avoiding
him is going to work as a breakup tactic. Given all the calls, he
appears to be a bit irritable about it. Perhaps he’s sexually
frustrated. Although I’m sure there are a million girls out there
who could ease his pain. I just don’t want to be one of them
anymore. I definitely need to make sure we meet in public, so
there’s no danger of getting caught in his sexual web.

My phone rings and startles me. “Hey,
Fran.”

“
Hey, sweetie! Thanks for
waking me up this morning. I would’ve totally overslept. Kyle and I
had a bit of a late night last night.”

I chuckle. “I’m sure you
did.”

“
Actually,” Fran sings,
“Kyle took me to meet some of his family.”

“
WHAT?” I shout through the
phone.

She laughs hysterically. “Gabby, it
was amazing. They are the nicest people. Do you know he’s got three
brothers and three sisters? I met four of them last night, and his
mom and dad. We had dinner and then we played Scrabble. It was so
fun!”

I’m shocked.
“
You
played
Scrabble? You don’t even like games! Wow, Kyle’s really doing a
number on you.”

Her tone gets serious. “Yeah, he is
Gabby.” Now I hear her smiling brightly through the phone. “You
know, he didn’t let go of my hand the entire night and I really
felt like I was a part of his family. It was…amazing.”

“
Well, I want to hear more
about this later. I want details!”

“
Cool. So listen. Kyle and
I are going to the Sky Bar Tonight. Do you feel like coming out
with us?”

This sounds like the perfect neutral
place to have a conversation with Dane. “That sounds great. I’m
going to ask Dane, too.”

“
You mean the Dane you
don’t give a shit about?”

“
FRAN!!!” I
bark.

“
Well, let’s be real. He’s
nothing more than a good screw.
Your
words.”

I laugh. “Well, I have to talk to him
tonight, and I don’t want to do it alone.”

“
Ah…afraid you’ll get
caught up in his web of sex?”

“
Something like
that.”

We agree to meet at the Sky Bar at
seven o’clock. I call Dane after and leave a voicemail.

Brad brings me my drink and slides
into the booth next to me. I’m still loving the table service. When
he hands it to me, his fingers deliberately skim mine and I feel
that familiar shiver. He hesitates, and for a moment I think he
feels it, too.

I play nervously with the smooth ends
of my hair. “I have something for you.”

His eyes light up. “For
me?”

I take out the bracelet, which is
artfully wrapped in tissue paper, and hand it to him. He slowly
opens the crumpled pink tissue and runs his fingers over the
leather and the clasp. I wish I knew what he was
thinking.

He looks up with a hint of tears
lacing his eyes and shakes his head as if in disbelief. “Thank you,
Gabby. No one’s ever done anything like this for me before. I can’t
tell you how much it means to me.”

I see his eyes dart over to
my wrist. I bought myself something, too. A pink wristband that
says
celebrate courage
. He runs his fingers over the writing and looks up at
me.

I shrug my shoulders. “I wanted to
wear one, too.”

His fingers wrap around my wrist, his
thumb resting on the bracelet. My insides quiver. While his mouth
is moving, it’s his eyes that are speaking to me. “Really, Gabby.
Thank you.” His thumb continues to rub my wrist gently and we just
sit there, staring at one another. I know I need to get up, but
every cell in my body is so relaxed and happy that I can’t
move.

Finally, Brad is the one who gets up.
“I need to get back behind the counter.”

I look up shyly. “Yeah, I really need
to get to work.”

Brad helps me up from the booth, grabs
my portfolio, and hands it to me.

“
I guess I’ll see you
later.”

His dimple smiles at me. “You can bank
on that.”

With my portfolio and latte in hand, I
finally make my way out the door. This time, I take a prolonged
look over my shoulder. As the door closes, Brad’s eyes meet mine,
and the corners of his lips rise sweetly. Adorable. Absolutely
adorable.