Love Inspired May 2015 #1 (56 page)

It couldn't be that simple. “Is that how you've stayed married so long?”

“That, and a mutual faith and desire to make the other happy. My wife is the most important thing in my life, along with my kids. If I lost her, I'd lose everything.” Russ gave him an encouraging pat on the back. “When the time comes, I'll give you all my secrets.”

Was there a time for him? Would there ever be? What if Lainie was the one, and he had let her go because of his doubts? Vicki had been important to him, and her rejection had hurt, but losing her hadn't cost him anything except a bruised ego and dented pride. He'd picked up and gone on. He written off being jilted as a lesson learned, not the loss of a lifetime.

Shaw slipped out of the office and drove to the project on the opposite side of town—a sunroom addition so far behind schedule the owners had threatened to sue. He couldn't put them off any longer. With the library up and running, he could start taking on more projects. And restore his old Victorian and get it sold.

He couldn't stay there any longer. Too many memories. No little faces peeking through the French door, no front porch chair with Lainie curled up in the morning. No one to use the swings in the backyard. He'd take them down. It would hurt too much to see them every day.

The library was done. His obligation to Lainie was over and she would be moving out and getting on with her life. The thought was like a punch in the gut. He would lose her.

And that
would
be the greatest loss of his life. He would be living the rest of his days without a heart beating inside his chest.

* * *

Sleep had eluded Shaw last night. Thoughts of Lainie, and a future without her and the girls, tormented him. He'd finally taken a hard look at himself and faced his deepest fear. It was more than anxiety about being left again that gripped him. It was fear of not being the man he wanted to be, the man Lainie needed.

Lainie was the whole package. There'd be no easing into married life—if she'd have him. He would be jumping into the deep end of the pool, and he couldn't afford to make a mistake—not with Natalie and Chrissy involved. He had to be sure, because if he failed, he'd risk hurting their little hearts, as well. He knew the pain of a broken marriage and its lasting effects. He could never put those two precious girls through that.

He pulled his truck to a stop in the library parking lot. He'd been headed for the Filler-up Burger place for lunch. But he'd driven straight to the Dover Library. Apparently, the Lord had a different destination for him. Shaw had prayed last night that he would be worthy of Lainie's love. He was frequently guilty of going his own way, confident in his own direction and forgetting to seek the Lord's direction, only to have the Lord pull him up short and set him straight.

Today, the Father was pointing him toward talking to Lainie and laying his heart at her feet. The outcome was up to the Lord.

The atmosphere in the library was serene and quiet, nothing like the joyful chaos of opening day.

He needed to talk to Lainie, though he had no idea what he'd say. He'd been avoiding her, not wanting to hear about meeting Mrs. Hollingsworth. Petty, but he needed time to accept that Lainie had a new life in front of her, one that didn't include him.

He'd stopped by her back door the night after her mother-in-law had arrived, intending to get some answers. He'd looked into the kitchen and seen them gathered around the table. Her mother-in-law was smiling, the girls were laughing and Lainie looked happier than he'd ever seen her. And he'd never felt so shut out in his life.

Millie looked up and smiled as he approached the main desk. “Hello. What brings you to the library? Something wrong with the woodwork?”

Shaw leaned against the counter, pleased with how well it had turned out. “No. I wanted to talk to Lainie. Is she here?”

“She's not.” Millie eyed him closely.

“Do you know where she is?”

“Home probably. Packing.”

Shaw's heart stopped. “Packing. Why?”

“Looks like I'll be taking over here, after all. Lainie is going to New Orleans.”

He could barely draw breath. She couldn't be leaving. Not after all the work she had put into the library and the way she'd been embraced by the whole town. “Why? She didn't say anything to me.”

“I think it just came up. You know her in-laws live there. I guess she felt it was important to have family nearby for the girls.”

Shaw didn't even say goodbye. He turned and strode out of the library. He thought he heard a chuckle behind him, but he ignored it. He arrived home and sent up a thankful prayer when he saw Lainie's car. She was still here. He couldn't let her go without telling her how he felt. She might not feel the same way, but he had to try. He would set all his doubts and fears aside.

He walked into her kitchen without knocking. She was standing at the sink and spun around when he entered.

“Shaw? What's wrong? Is everything okay? Is there a problem with the library?”

She was the most beautiful woman he'd ever met, the woman he wanted to spend his life with. The woman he'd risk anything for, including her rejection. “It's fine. Everything is fine. I came to—” He saw the suitcase near the French door he'd installed. It was true. She was leaving. His heart ripped in two.

“Misser Shaw!” Chrissy ran from the living room, her arms held high. He scooped her up and held her close.

“I missed you. I love you, Misser Shaw.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and squeezed, adding a little grunt for good measure.

Shaw's heart felt like it was bursting. “I love you, too, Chrissy.” He cradled her head with his palm, wanting this moment to go on forever, wanting to hear her call him Daddy again.

“Hey, Mister Shaw. I'm glad you're home.”

Shaw glanced down at the other little charmer. Natalie was smiling up at him like a sunbeam. He set her sister down and held out his arms. “Are you too big to be picked up?”

She shook her head and dashed into his arms. He held her close, too, realizing for the first time how big she was, and how quickly her childhood would pass. He didn't want to miss it.

He looked at Lainie. Her eyes were moist and tinged with concern. He needed to talk to her now. Alone. “Girls, I have something to talk to your mother about. Why don't you go outside and swing. I'll come out soon and push you.”

“We have a new grandma, and she has a grandpa, too. We're going to stay with them.” Chrissy waved as she hurried out the door.

Lainie searched his face, clearly puzzled by his behavior. He crossed the distance between them, gazing into her warm brown eyes. “Don't go.”

“What?”

“Don't leave. I don't want you to go.”

“Shaw, it's not—”

He grasped her arms in his hands. “I know you've found a family, but
I
want to be your family. I want to take care of you and the girls. Stay. I'll give you all the time you need.”

“What are you saying?”

“I love you. I love those girls. I want to be part of your life and theirs from now on.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out the license. “I want this to be real. I want to file it with the court and say the vows and make it legal.”

“Shaw, are you sure?”

He saw the doubt in her eyes, the regret. He'd misread so much. She cared for him, but not enough to be his wife. He stepped back, running a hand through his hair. “I'm sure. I've spent most of my life with my heart locked up safe. Too afraid to give it to anyone because they might walk away and leave me alone again. Vicki told me she didn't want to spend her life trying to unlock my heart. I didn't know what she meant then, but I do now. You've unlocked it. You and those little princesses out there.”

“You said you didn't want to give up your bachelor life.”

“I was a fool. I was afraid to risk a long-term relationship.”

“Is this because you feel responsible for us? You think you need to stand in the gap to somehow redeem yourself for the past?”

“No. Yes, I want to be responsible for you and the girls, but only because I want to love and take care of you.”

Lainie raised her hands and laid them on his chest, sending his heart racing.

“Are you sure? Because if you're not, you'll break my heart.”

Her words took a moment to sink in. He searched her face, his heart flipping at the love he saw reflected in her brown eyes. She stood on tiptoe and kissed him.

“I think I started falling in love with when you put up the swings for my girls. I've been afraid to tell you.”

“Does that mean you'll stay? You won't leave.”

“I'm not leaving. I'm just going to New Orleans for the night to meet Mr. Hollingsworth. We'll be back Sunday afternoon.”

“But Millie said—” He remembered the chuckle he'd heard on the way out of the library. “Apparently, Millie thought I needed a little incentive to make my move.”

“Did you?”

“Yes.” He slipped his arms around her waist and hugged her tightly. “I know there's still things from the past between us, but—”

She hushed him with her fingers on his lips. “There's nothing. I said I forgave you, but there was no need. It was an accident. No one's fault. No one to blame. I love you.”

“Marry me?”

“You know you're not only asking me, but two other females?”

“Do I need their permission?”

“They already think of you as Daddy.”

Shaw chuckled. “Chrissy told me she wanted to buy a new daddy to hug.”

Lainie smiled into his eyes, her fingers touching the cleft in his chin. “Then I know what the price of a new daddy should be.”

Shaw drew his brows together. “I'm not a rich man, you know.”

“I want to keep this house. I want to make it our home forever, the place we can grow our roots. Together as a family.”

“I think I can arrange that. I know a good contractor.” He captured her lips, kissing her with all the love he'd locked away, knowing he'd saved it for this moment. This woman. “Should we tell the girls?”

She nodded, slipping her arm around his waist and resting her head on his shoulder. As they passed the table, she picked up the license. “Are you sure this isn't legal?”

“No, but I know where to get one that is. What are you doing Monday morning?”

“Why don't you come to New Orleans with us? I'd like you to meet the Hollingsworths. They're very sweet.”

“Won't they be uncomfortable?”

“Irene already suspected I was in love with you, and she encouraged me to be happy and love again.”

Arm in arm, they walked across the grass to the swings, where Natalie and Chrissy were being watched over by the faithful Beaux.

“Girls, we have something to tell you.” Lainie slipped her arm around his waist. He pulled her close, kissing her forehead.

They smiled at one another. The Lord had brought them together again to heal the past, and find a new future together as a family.

* * * * *

Keep reading for an excerpt from A FIREFIGHTER'S PROMISE by Patricia Johns.

Dear Reader,

I've wanted to give Shaw his own story for a long while now. He first appeared in the second Dover book,
Restoring His Heart
, as the foreman for the heroine's restoration business. He was a heartbreaker with a soft heart and took a protective stance toward his boss. The next time we see him is in
Protecting the Widow's Heart
, again as the head of a construction project and casting an appreciative eye toward the heroine. I figured it was time to give the man a woman of his own. So, what better choice than to give the die-hard bachelor a woman with two little girls?

But first both he and the heroine have to deal with forgiveness. Not an easy thing to do for any of us. Even when they confront the past, and forgive, more struggles are waiting.

Sometimes, forgiving someone is merely the door opening to reveal what our real issues are. For Lainie, forgiveness freed her to love again but she fears she's fallen for a man who feels only a sense of responsibility toward her. Shaw finally forgives himself but then must face an even greater fear—the prospect of loving and committing to the woman he loves.

I thoroughly enjoyed writing Lainie and Shaw's story and I hope you'll enjoy spending time with them and in Dover.

I love to hear from readers. You can reach me through Love Inspired Books or at
lorrainebeatty.com
.

Lorraine Beatty

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