Love Inspired May 2015 #1 (50 page)

Lainie explained, receiving a gentle touch on her good shoulder from her friend. “You don't worry about a thing. I'm right next door. Just call. The girls can stay with me for the next few days so you can rest.”

“Thank you, Gwen, but I need them with me. I'll be fine, and I promise to call if I need you. Can you send them home? I know they're worried about me.”

Gwen nodded in agreement. “They've asked about you every five minutes. Oh, and Millie called. She said not to worry. She's activating the former Friends of the Library volunteers to come and help.”

Shaw lightly touched her back, urging her toward the door. “You need to lie down. The pain shot the nurse gave you will make you drowsy.”

Lainie allowed Shaw to help her upstairs and get her settled on the bed, making sure she had what she needed. He'd just placed a glass of water on the nightstand when the girls ran in, their blue eyes sparkling.

“Mommy! You're home. We missed you.”

Chrissy stared at the sling. “Is your arm hurt?”

“Yes, but it'll be better soon. I have to wear this so my arm won't move. I can't lift you up or drive my car or do a lot of the things I usually do. I'll need you and your sister to be my helpers for the next week or so. Can you do that?”

Two little heads nodded rapidly. “I can make the bed.” Natalie smiled.

“I can fix supper.”

Chrissy's confidence made Lainie smile. “You can? That's a big help. What will you fix?”

“Pop-Tarts.”

“My favorite.”

Shaw smiled and bent down to the girls. “Mommy needs to sleep for a while. Let's go downstairs and make a list of things we can do to help while her arm gets better.”

“I love you, Mommy.”

“Me, too.”

Lainie lay back against the pillows, the number of obstacles in her path growing larger every second. How would she give the girls their baths? She couldn't wash their hair with only one arm. And what about Shaw's bookkeeping? Could she manage his accounts with only five fingers to tap the keys? Most importantly, how would she keep things moving at the library?

She closed her eyes, feeling the tug of sleep as the pain medication took hold. There was only one answer. She'd have to learn to do everything one-handed. She'd become a lefty. A southpaw. Easy-peasy. Her eyes grew heavy and she sank into the fluffy cloud of her mind. And how was she going to kiss Shaw with one hand in a sling? Where had that thought come from?

Her eyes closed, releasing visions of Shaw scooping her up and carrying her down the stairs as if she weighed nothing. She knew better, but he'd held her close. Even in her pain she had felt secure and safe. Cherished.
Cher
. She liked the sound of it. She liked the way he said it.
Sha.

Funny how pain meds distorted things.

Chapter Nine

S
haw had never known a Sunday morning like this. Instead of a cup of coffee and the Sunday
Dispatch
before church, he was sitting in Lainie's kitchen running a beauty parlor.

He twisted a red stretchy band around the clump of yellow hair he'd pulled to the side of Chrissy's head, feeling all thumbs and dumb as dirt. The little girl waited patiently while he tugged the other side of her hair upward and secured it with a blue band. He frowned. Something wasn't right. Chrissy whirled and smiled at him.

“Thank you, Misser Shaw. You don't hurt my head the way Mommy does.”

He supposed that was a good thing except— “Your ponytails aren't even.” One was at least two inches higher and farther to the back.

“That's okay. I'm just going to play outside.” She skipped off.

Natalie stopped at his side, holding out her hand for the brush. “I can do my own hair. I'm six, you know.”

Shaw stifled a grin. “I heard that.” He handed her the brush, wondering what Lainie would say if she could see her daughters. They'd spent the night at Gwen's so Lainie could get the rest she needed after her fall, but she hadn't been happy about the arrangement. She'd wanted the girls with her. He'd finally convinced her they'd be safer next door. If something happened, she might be too drugged to respond. He insisted on leaving Beaux with her just as a precaution, though Shaw himself had barely slept, listening for any unusual sound from her side of the house.

Gwen had brought the girls to his place early this morning. They were eager to see their mother, so after a promise to be quiet and not wake her, he'd settled them into the kitchen.

Breakfast had been a new adventure. After deflecting demands from Natalie and her little sister for cookies, chocolate, candy and pizza, he'd finally convinced them cereal and juice was a much better idea. He was feeling pretty triumphant about his accomplishment. He'd even managed to get them to clean up afterward, but only after promising to push them “up to the sky” in the swings.

“Good morning.”

Shaw glanced up to see Lainie coming down the stairs, Beaux leading the way. She looked pale, but her eyes were clear, and her dark hair was pleasingly mussed from sleep. “How are you feeling?”

“Sore, achy and totally foolish.” She gave him a little smile. “I should have watched where I was going.”

Shaw pulled out a chair for her. “Coffee?” She nodded. “It's an old house and those steps weren't built to today's codes. They're too narrow and steep.”

Lainie took the coffee cup, added a dash of milk and a packet of sweetener. “Where are the girls?”

“Swings.” He sat beside her. “I promised to push them. Gwen offered to take them to church, but I thought you'd rather have them here when you woke up.”

She ran a hand through her thick hair, mussing it further and making him want to bury his fingers in the beautiful strands. He settled for laying his hand on hers. “I'm glad you're going to be okay. You scared me senseless, you know.”

“I scared myself.” She clutched her mug between her hands, her brown eyes troubled. “How am I going to work, or take care of the girls with my right arm out of commission? Just getting out of bed this morning was a challenge.”

“I've got it all worked out. Gwen will be on call to take the girls or come and help you with personal things. I'll be here in the evenings and mornings to help, and I plan on coming by during the day to check on you.”

Lainie shook her head. “You can't take that much time off from work. The deadline is getting closer.”

“We're in good shape. I can afford the time to make sure you're okay.” He looked into her brown eyes, feeling the pull of her sweetness. Maybe, once he was free from his promise, he'd tell her how he felt and see where things went from there. Right now, neither one of them was willing to acknowledge the feelings stirring beneath the surface.

She smiled. “Thank you. You're a good friend, Shaw.”

Disappointment tightened his chest. That was him. A good friend. He didn't like the title much, but it was safer that way. He stood. “I'd better go push those girls before I get tossed out of the Princess Club. Call if you need anything.”

Shaw returned to his own kitchen, taking a moment to fill Beaux's water dish. He needed distance from Lainie. He'd always backed away when things became too serious. He liked being single. Not having to answer to anyone suited him. Lainie was right. He left women before they could leave him—like his mom and Vicki. Lainie was the kind of woman he had always dreamed of, but the reality was he'd tried a long-term relationship and failed. But now he was faced with someone who would never walk away. That scared him more than anything.

What if Vicki was right and his heart was so tightly locked away, he'd never be able to give it to someone else? Not even Lainie. Then she would walk away, too. He'd had too many women walk out of his life. He didn't need three more.

* * *

Lainie carried her drink to the door, only to realize she'd have to put it down to open it. Life with one arm incapacitated was way more complicated than she'd expected. Shaw had gone to the library to check on the job, and she'd promised to be careful while he was gone. After maneuvering things around, she took a seat on the back porch to watch the girls play. Midday on a glorious Sunday. There was a long list of things she'd like to do, but she couldn't do a one. She'd missed church. Then she'd tried to push the girls in the swings, but with one arm, she'd only made them swing crooked. And to top things off, she wasn't even dressed yet. She'd need help for that. Maybe she'd stay in her pj's all day. Just because. The sight of Gwen walking across the lawn with a covered dish in her hands brightened her mood considerably.

Gwen smiled and raised the dish. “Chicken and noodles. The girls eat it at my house so I'm sure it won't go to waste.”

“Thank you. That's very thoughtful.”

“Pastor Jim announced you on the prayer chain in church this morning. You'll be getting meals from everyone in the congregation.”

Lainie tilted her head. “Don't be too sure. I'm still not the most popular newcomer, remember?”

“That is not true. Everyone is delighted with your efforts to get the library done on time.”

After putting the casserole inside, Gwen joined Lainie on the porch glider. “You feeling better today? I was so glad to hear you hadn't broken your arm when you fell.”

“Me, too. I thought for sure I had.”

“Don't worry about anything. Shaw and I have you covered. He's a real sweetheart. You know that, don't you?”

“I do. He's a good friend.”

“Speaking of friends, I want to thank you for giving me the courage to face my mother.”

“What do you mean?”

Gwen fidgeted with her hands. “My mother can be very opinionated. She truly believes she knows what's best for everyone else. It's been easier for me to just go along and not make waves. But then I met you, and I saw how brave you were, how you fought for your job at the library no matter how big the obstacle.”

“Oh, Gwen, That wasn't bravery. That was desperation. For my girls. You would do the same thing for your boys.”

She smiled. “But that's just it. I didn't. It was because of you that I had the courage to confront my mom and Millie about their attitudes.”

“I never meant to cause trouble for you.”

Gwen smiled and grasped her hand. “You didn't. Things between my mom and me have changed. We're talking more. And being honest with one another. I even told her I want to go back to work in the fall when the boys are in school. She believes a mother should be in the home with the children.”

“If you're serious, I have the budget to hire two more employees for the library.” She would love having Gwen working with her. “Millie will be working part-time, but that leaves a full-time and another part-time slot available.”

“Keep that application for me. I think I'll take you up on that.”

After helping Lainie shower and get dressed, Gwen said goodbye, but not before offering to take the girls later so Lainie could rest. She thanked the Lord for such kind and generous friends. Her welcome to Dover hadn't been a good one, but day by day, He had placed people in her life to help when she needed it. Like Gwen and Millie. But mostly Shaw.

He was dependable, always there, smoothing things out, solving problems, comforting her. But it was his motivation she questioned. Was he still feeling obligated? Was there a small part of him helping because he cared? She hoped so. She wanted him to care because her heart was losing the battle. She was falling in love with him, and she didn't know how to stop it.

And she needed to. Her emotions felt new and frightening. For so long, she'd been locked up in a vault of the past, denying her feelings, pouring herself into work and caring for her daughters.

Now she wanted to break free and participate in life again and embrace emotions she'd thought dead forever. But letting go felt like she was throwing away an important part of her life. How long should she hold on to the past? When was it okay to let go and move on? Could she move on and still cherish her memories?

She didn't have an answer. Yet. The Lord had promised to be a light unto her path, not a floodlight illuminating all her answers. For now, she'd take it one day at a time, focus on her job. The rest would sort itself out.

* * *

Shaw balanced the bag of delicious-smelling burgers and the tray of drinks and tapped his foot against Lainie's back door. As he'd expected, Natalie and Chrissy wasted no time in opening the door for him. They were always waiting when he got home each night, eager to see him and curious about what he'd brought for supper. Lainie found it difficult to cook with only one arm, and he had little time to spare, so for the past few nights, he'd stopped on the way home and bought supper. It wasn't the healthiest diet, but a few fast-food meals wouldn't hurt.

After placing the bags on the table, he opened his arms for his welcome home. This had become his favorite part of the day. Chrissy liked to be picked up so she could kiss his cheek. Natalie hugged his waist and gave him her best dimpled smile. He'd nicknamed her Sparkle because she was always happy. Beaux, always the gentleman, waited for his turn for a scratch behind the ears.

Since Lainie's accident, he'd been drawn deeper into their lives. It had been both terrifying and fascinating. He'd found it easiest to simply go along rather than try and do things logically. Apparently, little princesses and their mommy had their own unique way of dealing with life.

Strangely enough, he found he liked the female energy, and he learned more about Lainie than he'd thought possible. He'd learned that she liked her coffee sweet, but her tea with only lemon. She liked to keep her home neat and orderly, but didn't mind if the Princess Club was a giant mess. He'd also managed to get Chrissy's ponytails even.

Lainie entered the kitchen and took a seat at the table. “That smells wonderful. I'm starved.”

Her smile momentarily derailed his thoughts. She looked adorable in shorts and a bright red T-shirt. He wanted to ask for a welcome-home hug from her, too. It took all his effort to right his wayward thoughts. “Dig in while it's hot.”

She looked so much better than when he'd found her crumpled at the bottom of the stairs. She had been pale and shaking, her eyes dull and filled with pain. They'd regained much of their sparkle, but he could see the tiny lines of worry and discomfort around the edges of her mouth. She was still hurting some. Thankfully, she was following doctor's orders, but Shaw also knew she was anxious to get back to work. Millie told him she checked in three or four times a day.

He ate in silence, letting the sense of family wrap around him. The girls chattered about things they'd done and told stories about Beaux. Lainie listened as if every word from her daughters' mouths was of vital importance. She occasionally gave him a wink or a nod to share a point of amusement.

How nice it would be to come home to his own family, to take care of them, to provide for them. This was something he understood. This was his strength. Taking charge, being responsible and fixing problems.

He had learned how to manage his dad's moods, when to leave him alone and when to push him back into life. During the good times, Shaw would step back and watch as his dad found the next woman he believed would make him happy. But Shaw knew eventually she would leave, as well, and the cycle would start over again.

“I don't need you to take care of me. I need you to love me.”

He hadn't understood what Vicki had meant. He still didn't. He had loved her. They'd had so much in common. Getting married had seemed the logical thing to do. So why hadn't it worked?

He glanced around the table at Lainie and the girls. Until he knew the answer to that question, he couldn't think about a future with anyone. Because if Vicki was right and his heart was locked up, then Lainie would leave, too, and that would be more painful than all the guilt he'd carried about the accident.

Shaw pulled his focus to the burger in his hand. His appetite was gone. He realized with a start that everyone had finished eating but him.

“Will you push us now, Misser Shaw?”

Eager to escape his thoughts, he tossed the rest of his meal into the bag. “Sure. Let's go. I've got a few minutes before I have to go back to the library.”

Lainie raised an eyebrow. “Still more to do tonight?”

He thought he saw disappointment in her eyes. Had she wanted him to stay home tonight? “Always. I'll be back in time to help put the girls to bed.”

She laid a hand on his arm, sending warmth along his skin. He looked into her eyes and was filled with longing to kiss her and never stop.