Love Inspired August 2014 – Bundle 1 of 2 (55 page)

Letting go of that hurt would mean opening herself to the possibility of another man
who would be able to hurt her again. But if she wanted to move forward, that was her
only option.

Caleb shifted in the sand next to her, breaking Paige from her thoughts.

Resting his elbows on his knees, he studied her, not the water or the beach. “What
are you thinking about?”

“Just...everything.” Paige made eye contact. Those eyes would get her every time.

Could she trust a friendship with Caleb? She’d had more contact with him recently
than with any other man. What if he let her down and she ended up hurt? What if he
was nothing better than a cheater, as well?

Worse, what if she started to feel something for him?

Less than a foot of space between them, they sat together for another couple of minutes.

Caleb broke the silence first. “That first day I met you... You don’t have to tell
me if you don’t want to, but I’ve wondered.”

With her gaze locked on the water, she weighed telling him. But if she was going to
try to trust men, then she should start by being honest herself. “I broke off my engagement.”
She adjusted how she sat and her knee brushed Caleb’s. He didn’t move.

Paige swallowed and continued. “I thought Bryan was
the one
. I’d had a couple boyfriends before him that just...didn’t care.”

“Didn’t care?” Caleb’s voice went up, as if what she said was the hardest thing to
believe.

Might as well tell him everything. She sucked in a deep breath. “In high school, I
had a boyfriend named Jay. He was the pastor’s son at the church I grew up in. After
a month of dating he told me he thought God had brought us together and that we’d
be together forever. That was a week before he went on a mission trip to South Africa
without me since my parents wouldn’t let me go.” Paige found a small twig under the
sand and chucked it down the dune. “Yeah, he came back, and suddenly God had told
him that Stacy, a girl he met on the trip, was really the one for him and not me.”

She rolled her eyes. “They’re married now and have four kids. So, I guess Jay was
right about that.”

Caleb leaned back a bit, his arms bracing his weight and hands in the sand. His fingers
touched hers. “I’m sorry that happened to you.”

“It was high school. I’m over it.” She shrugged. “Then there was Tommy in college.
We dated for two and a half years. Tommy took me ring shopping to find out what I
liked, and then a month later Tommy dumped me for my roommate.”

“Ouch.” Caleb’s hand covered hers now. She didn’t move it.

“After that, I told myself I wouldn’t get into a relationship until I could know for
certain that the guy loved me and that I knew him well enough to believe he wouldn’t
leave me right away.”

Caleb sat up and turned to face her. As he did, he laced his fingers with hers and
cupped his other hand around their entwined ones. She couldn’t tell if it was a gesture
of comfort that he would do to anyone, if he felt badly for her, or wanted to prove
that men didn’t find her repulsive. Whatever the reason, the touch of another person
felt good. Maybe too good. But she’d worry about that later.

“About four years after graduation I ran into Bryan, who I’ve known my whole life.
We grew up in the same neighborhood but hung out with different people in school.
When he asked me out, I didn’t say yes right away because I wanted to be sure.”

Caleb offered her hand a squeeze.

“Bryan kept pursuing me. Unlike Tommy and Jay, it felt like he actually cared and
wanted to be involved in every aspect of my life. It was only after we broke up that
I realized how controlling he was. He separated me from all my friends, all my hobbies,
and convinced me to put in my resignation at school since he didn’t want his wife
to have a job. Anyway, we were engaged within six months, and I thought I finally
had my happily ever after.

“He was already living in our condo, but I wanted to stay with my parents until the
wedding. He pressured me to come live with him before we were married and that’s the
only thing I stuck to my guns about, which probably cost me the relationship in the
end.”

That’s not true. Bryan should have waited.

The thought came out of nowhere and made her pause.

“He worked long hours in his firm downtown, so I decided to surprise him with dinner
one night. I went to the condo and saw his car and just figured he’d gone in and taken
a nap after work. Instead, I found him tangled up with another woman in our bed.”
She shook her head, trying to shove the image out of her mind. “I tossed the ring
at his head and left. Oh, and my mom tried to convince me to stay with Bryan—she still
wants me to go back to him.”

“But he cheated on you.”

“She said he did what all men do and to get over it.”

“That’s not true.”

“I told her the same thing, and she popped that bubble real quick. She told me my
dad’s cheated on her with seven different women in the span of their marriage. My
dad... I used to look up to him so much.”

Caleb brushed his thumb on her cheek, catching tears she hadn’t realized she was crying.
Then he tugged the hand he held and pulled her in for a hug. She welcomed the contact,
releasing his hand and drawing her arms around his back.

“That should have never happened,” Caleb whispered into her hair. “You are worth cherishing.
You are worth being faithful to. You are worth the truth.”

The words were like a benediction working into all her broken memories.

You are worth the truth.

Chapter Ten

C
aleb held Paige until she lightly pushed back from him. Without knowing how she’d
react, he placed his hands on either side of her face to frame it. His thumbs brushed
right below her eyes, which shone with tears she kept back. He examined the constellations
of freckles across her nose and cheek and her pursed lips.

“Did you hear what I said? You have worth, and any man would be crazy not to notice
that,” he whispered.

Paige nodded and blinked a bunch of times.

Everything inside told him to lean in and kiss her. He moistened his lips, but he
couldn’t. Paige had been used, left and disappointed by men three times now. Make
that four counting her father. What could Caleb offer her? A whole lot more hurt.
That was what.

Even though he’d been married for a couple of years, he knew so little about women.
He knew plenty about Sarah—but not women in general.

With Sarah he’d known when to lean in, what each of her expressions meant and what
she needed without her asking. Being with Sarah had been second nature since he’d
known her his whole life. He never once had to ask Sarah out for a date. They both
just knew they’d do something together on Friday night after school. His marriage
proposal consisted of taking her to pick out a ring and putting it on her finger the
next weekend.

How could he be certain that if he started something with Paige he’d be able to carry
through with his promises? Sure, he believed he could, but he’d thought the same with
Sarah. In the end he hadn’t been able to take care of her. Not really. Had he ever
actually asked Sarah what she needed? Or just assumed like Bryan had with Paige?

He swallowed hard.

Thoughts seared his conscience and made his stomach uneasy. He needed to get up and
move. Caleb dropped his hands away from Paige’s face. “Come for a walk with me.” He
offered his hand to help her up.

She squinted at him, her head tilted. “I should probably put my shoes back on.”

He had to start walking. Movement was the only way to still his guilt about the mistakes
he made in his marriage. “We’ll come back and get them later. It’s just sand. You’ll
be fine.”

“Okay.” She slipped her hand into his.

They stumbled down the steep edge of the sand dune that led to the lakeshore, making
sure to avoid the sections where tall grasses grew since Paige walked barefoot. A
slight breeze whisked coolness off the water and wrapped around them. The evening
would get cold quickly.

Caleb scooped up three round rocks and tried to skip them across the water. Each landed
with a plunk.

Paige stood six feet away to his left. Her arms crossed, watching him.

He dusted the sand from his hands and motioned for her to walk along the edge that
would soon be covered by water. “Thank you for telling me all that stuff. I know that
can’t be easy.”

She shrugged. “It was time to tell someone.”

Up the beach, a flock of Canada geese hunkered near a patch of dune grass.

“Watch where you step.” He pointed at the geese.

Paige ran her palms back and forth over her cheeks and then laughed for the first
time. “The college I went to had geese everywhere. Sometimes you couldn’t walk to
class without ruining your shoes. We used to joke that they should let some hunters
come onto the property and take care of them.”

“Do you know it’s illegal to kill that breed of goose?”

The wind picked up, bringing a chill in off the water’s surface. He’d have to keep
the walk short since Paige didn’t have a coat on.

“Seriously?” Paige’s mouth fell open.

“Federal offense.”

She fanned her arm out to indicate the flock like a tour guide at a museum. “There
are so many of them.”

Caleb grinned at her shock. He rested his foot on a piece of driftwood. “That’s because
they’re the most successful comeback story. Nationwide they were hunted to the point
where they were put on the endangered species list. The scientists trying to help
save them searched, but after a few years of not finding any geese, they were moved
to the extinct list.”

“You’re kidding me. Those things are like rats.”

He smiled and shook his head. “Finally someone found one flock of geese on a small
pond in Minnesota. Only about ten to fifteen of them left in the world. They used
that flock to repopulate the species.” He pointed to the flock on the beach. “You
can see how successful the scientists were.”

“I had no idea.” She turned and shook her head at the geese. “I don’t think I’ll look
at them the same again.”

Caleb broke a branch off the driftwood log and turned the weathered wood over and
over in his hand. “That’s what I love about teaching science. I’ve always found it
has the power to teach truth in such tangible ways.”

“Really now?” She grinned and popped her hands onto her hips. “And what sort of truth
does a story about a bunch of geese teach?”

He tossed the stick into the lake. “Even when you feel like something about your life
or your world has been destroyed, even when other people have hunted and harmed your
heart to near extinction, even when you get to the point where you want to go hide
on some obscure lake where you can’t be found, you can think about the geese. If they’d
stayed there without being found then they’d be gone.”

He finally faced Paige and made eye contact. He hadn’t realized that he’d taken a
couple of steps away from her as he spoke. “You and I aren’t that different from them,
are we? We can stay on that pond or we can be repaired. Except unlike them, the choice
is ours.”

“See, that’s the hard part. If someone could just—oww!” Paige crumpled in the sand.

Caleb dropped to her side. “What happened? What’s wrong?”

“Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Man. That
really
hurt.” Cradling her foot, Paige rocked back and forth.

“Let me see.” He grabbed her ankle to get her to stop moving. Blood dripped between
her fingers where she held her foot. Because of the blood, he couldn’t make out how
deep the cut was. It only took a second to locate the perpetrator, a broken bottle
concealed under a thin layer of sand.

Old fears rose up to haunt him. The same words he’d fought when Shelby got burned
and Sarah died.
Your fault. You told her it would be okay. You should have protected her.

Could he deny those inner taunts? Not this time.

* * *

The burn of pain lanced up Paige’s leg.

A moment ago she’d been strolling on the beach, enjoying the feel of the wet sand
under her steps. Without warning it had suddenly felt like twenty bees stinging the
bottom of her foot at once. What happened?

Shuddering, she instinctively touched the gash. A chill coursed through her body as
her bangs fell in front of her eyes. The very center of her foot felt like it was
being feasted on by fire ants. Something wet and warm seeped through her fingers.

She blinked back gathering tears and tried to focus on Caleb. “Can you make it stop?”

“I’m going to pick you up.” He drew one arm behind her back and the other under her
knees. “Put your arm around my neck, okay? I’m going to take you to the immediate-care
clinic in town.”

With a few seconds to let the shock wear off, Paige worked her foot around in a circle.
The bottom hurt, but not terribly. A cut or at most a good gash. She’d overreacted
out of surprise, and Caleb—
being Caleb
—jumped into action more than he needed to.

She started to pull her arm away from around his neck. “I think I’m fine to walk.
The cut doesn’t feel deep.”

“There was a lot of blood, Paige. I’ve got you.”

Right, and there was also a lot of blood every time she nicked her ankle shaving,
but that didn’t require hero intervention. “You don’t have to carry me.”

“I’m fine. I want to.”

“I’m really okay.”

“I’d rather be overcautious and keep your foot clean.”

A fortress of strength, rock-hard arms bore her weight as he carried her up the sand
dune. She was more aware than she wanted to be of his heartbeat against her side.

When he reached where they had been sitting twenty minutes ago, Caleb lowered her
so she could scoop up her shoes and socks. In a heartbeat he picked her up again.
She used one hand to balance her shoes on her stomach, the other still looped around
his neck. The hair on the back of his head brushed against her wrist with each step.

Heartbeat. Hair. Try as she might, Paige could no longer ignore this man.

Sweat coated the back of his neck by the time they reached the top of the dune. He
still had to make it through the wooded up-and-down trails before they’d reach the
parking lot. She shouldn’t let Caleb carry her the whole way. He had to be tired from
driving all day, carrying boxes and now from lugging her up the dune.

“If you give me a second to slip my shoes back on, I can hobble for a while.” She
moved her arm to start to get down. “I’ll manage.”

“I’m fine.” His hold tightened. “I’ve got you.”

Focus on the trees. Focus on the spiderwebs. Focus on anything besides how good his
arms felt around her and how he smelled like pine trees and hard work.

Through the canopy, evening sunlight traced warm lines over her face and shoulders.
A burning orange flame, the sun began to sink behind them into the lake.

Mostly Caleb kept his eyes on the trail as he stepped over tree roots and navigated
a few steady declines, but Paige caught him examining her a few times, his brow low,
worried.

Finally he spoke, softly. “I’m sorry about this.”

“About what?” Paige turned her head to meet his eyes. Yikes! Too close. Only a few
inches away, if she wanted to she could lay her head on his shoulder or rest her forehead
against the side of his face. Or kiss his cheek.

Not good.

He glanced at her for the umpteenth time. “I shouldn’t have told you to go on the
beach without your shoes. If I hadn’t—”

Every muscle in her body stiffened. “Excuse me. I must be going crazy, because I thought
I just heard you try to take the blame for my foot getting barely hurt.”

The side of his jaw popped. “It is—”

“And I know you wouldn’t do that because a random accident can’t be anyone’s fault.
Hence the word
accident
.” She tapped on his shoulder.

He now focused on the path. “But I told you not to put your shoes on.”

“Last time I checked, I’m a grown adult and I make my own choices. You’re not allowed
to take the blame for this or anything else that ever happens to me. Got it?”

“But—”

“No. End of discussion. I made a choice, and I got hurt. The end.” Paige fought the
urge to push out of his hold. Piling unneeded guilt onto his own plate over something
so silly. The nerve.

Thankfully they’d reached the parking lot or else she would have sprung from his hold
and stomped away—bleeding foot notwithstanding.

Caleb must have left his truck unlocked because he opened the passenger door and set
her down on the seat without having to pull out his keys.

“One second,” he mumbled. He rounded the truck, opened a tub in the back and pulled
out a beach towel. “This is clean. Promise.” He wrapped it around her injured foot.
Hopefully it would stop any more blood.

After starting up the truck and maneuvering out of the park, Caleb fiddled with the
temperature controls. Paige caught him stealing worried glances at her.

At the stoplight, he scrubbed his hand over his face. “I can’t help feeling like this
shouldn’t have happened. We should have gone right back to Maggie’s. If I hadn’t suggested
the dunes then—”

“It’s not your fault.” Paige let out an exasperated breath. Had it been Bryan with
her, he would have blamed her for being careless. Then again, Caleb saying it was
his fault proved almost more annoying. “Stop making a big deal about this. If I had
been alone right now, I would have put my shoes and socks on and gone home. No big
deal.”

“I know you said...but I’m replaying it in my mind. You started to put your shoes
on and I told you not to. What would it have cost me to wait another minute?”

“Okay. I don’t know how everyone around you stands it, but I’m sick of this.” She
crossed her arms and turned in her seat to face him more. “Let’s get one thing straight.”

From talking to Maggie and Shelby, and from things Caleb said, he had a bad habit
of claiming guilt and piling it up on his shoulders. Only to drag him down unnecessarily.
It was ridiculous. The whole town might take it easy on him. They could all keep their
secret promise of solidarity in pity. They could all just let Caleb continue on, never
growing through their challenges, but Paige wouldn’t stand for that.

“Nothing that has or will happen to me is your fault.”

“Paige,” he groaned.

“Don’t talk. I haven’t lived here that long, but I’ve already noticed how much this
whole town coddles you.” She held up both her hands in the stop gesture when he tried
to speak. “Well, I’m not going to let you lay claim to responsibilities that aren’t
yours just so you can live under your little black rain cloud feeling bad for things
that had nothing to do with you.”

Caleb stared out the windshield and focused on the road ahead as if he drove through
a snowstorm instead of a cloudless, early-fall sunset. Maybe calling him a black rain
cloud had gone too far. After all, he usually seemed happy and willing to joke. It
wasn’t like he walked around town moping. More that everyone treated him like he should.
Like he might suddenly break.

Surrounded by potted mums, the sign for Goose Harbor Immediate Care seemed more cheerful
than it should.

“Why are we here?” Paige balked.

“Stay in the seat. I don’t want you trying to walk on that foot until we have it checked
out. Please, humor me on this.” Caleb pulled into the nearest open spot, shut his
door harder than normal and rounded the truck to get her.

An elderly nurse, capped with a cloudy puff of white hair and a tight smile, showed
them to a small exam room. She sported a purple smock covered with giraffes wearing
sunglasses. The nurse inspected the cut and muttered under her breath as she wrapped
the foot in a loose piece of gauze. She took Paige’s vitals before assuring them the
doctor would be in soon.