Love Discovered in New York (The Washington Triplets) (15 page)

“I’m so sorry, Mya. I—”

“It was harsh because you were the true disappointment, but you projected that onto me. You didn’t even wait until mom’s body was cold before you jumped into bed with Janet. So you are the disappointment. You obviously didn’t know anything about commitment.” I tilted my head back to keep the tears from falling from my eyes.

“Mya, listen to me. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I was very emotional at your mother’s funeral and I was unable to get the words out correctly. I was trying to say that your mother and I were disappointed that you weren’t able to make it home for her last Christmas with us. I know that it came out sounding like I was calling you a disappointment and I’m sorry about that. Looking back on that day, there are a lot of things I wish I could’ve said and even more things I wish I could take back. And about Janet…”

I listened to the shaky breaths my father was taking and I knew he was crying. Oddly enough, that made me feel better about my eyes watering.

“Your mother and I weren’t in love with each other anymore. We had been talking about a divorce for some time. We were working out the terms privately so we wouldn’t have to spend so much on lawyer fees. We didn’t want to tell you girls until we were ready to present to a lawyer. It was an uncontested divorce. We both wanted this.”

I felt like my face was frozen in a state of shock. I blinked back the tears that refused to fall. “What? No, I don’t believe you. It’s easy to make anything up when the only other person who knows this alleged version of the truth is dead.”

“Your sisters knew something was wrong. They were here so they saw what was happening. Especially in the months leading up to your mother’s passing. Have you talked to them about it?”

Is that why they are willing to go to the wedding?
I wondered.

“Please come home next weekend, Mya. I’m begging you. Please,” he pleaded as his voice broke. “I need to see you. I need you to know that I love you and I’m proud of you and I’m sorry. I’m sorry I ever made you feel like you weren’t good enough.”

“I need time to think. I’ll think about it,” I said hoarsely. “I have to go.”

“I love you, Mya.”

“You too, Dad.”

I tossed my phone to the other side of the bed and closed my eyes tightly. Taking a few deep breaths, I collected myself. Grabbing my laptop off of the nightstand, I powered it on, opened my email and clicked on the folder titled ‘MOM.’ I went all the way down to the very first one she sent almost nineteen months ago. And I started reading.

Mya, I now know why the caged bird sings. It sings because of people like you, my beautiful child. Here’s a poem by Maya Angelou to kick off your week. A Maya for a Mya. I love you. I miss you,
I read silently as the tears trickled down my cheeks.

Was she the caged bird?
I wondered as my heart broke.
I didn’t get it then. I thought she was just sending me wise words and inspirational quotes because she thought I needed guidance and direction. But maybe she was sending me some insight on her life. And I was too blind to see it.

I read each email with a new perspective. An email from last summer made me gasp.

Mya, I don’t even know if you’ve ever been in love or not. But I must warn you, tread carefully. Fall in love with someone who makes you laugh. Life has its ups and downs…and during those downs, you need someone who can lift your spirits. Fall in love with someone who brings passion out of you…because the everyday life is boring without passion. Fall in love with someone who understands how incredibly unique you are. You don’t want to end up tied to someone who doesn’t bring the best out of you. You want a love that stays gold. Robert Frost says that nothing gold can stay. But I think the right kind of love is the only exception to that rule. True love stays gold,
I read the email to myself for the second time.

Was she talking about her relationship with dad?
I thought, pushing down the name that kept trying to bubble up to the forefront of my mind.
True love stays gold.

Quickly, I moved on to the next email from my mother in my inbox and then I just kept reading until I got to the last one she ever sent.

Mya, I know I haven’t been supportive of some of your decisions. But you’re an adult and you’re blazing your own path. Continue to not let anyone (not even your parents *smile*) stop you from being exactly who you want to be. Remember this always: Imitation makes you who they are. Individuality makes you who you are. I love you and I miss you,
I recited my mother’s emailed words silently as I wiped the tears away.

“Imitation makes you who they are. Individuality makes you who you are,” I quoted in a trembling whisper as I closed my laptop and placed it on the nightstand.

Curling up into a ball, I closed my eyes and cried myself to sleep. I cried for my mother. I cried for my family. I cried for Colton. When I woke up, I was all cried out. My eye sockets hurt and my face felt puffy.

I don’t even want to know what I look like,
I thought as I pushed myself out of the bed.

“Kelsey!” I called out as I opened my bedroom door. My apartment was empty, but she left a note on the coffee table. “Going to get food. Real food. I don’t know why you insist on not going grocery shopping,” I mumbled aloud.

Dropping the note back on the table, a small smile was all I could muster because my throat was tender. I headed into the bathroom and proceeded to take a long, hot shower. The water felt good against my skin and the mixture of heat and steam opened up my pores. Once I stepped out of the bathroom, I truly felt like I had gone through a cleansing.

Picking up my phone, I opened my email app and sent my sisters a short email.

After hitting send, I went to my text messages. Scrolling to Colton’s name, I reread one of our first text conversations. One line stuck out to me like a sore thumb. Even though I was sad, I still smiled at the exchange.

Colton Davis: I came back to the office to get some paperwork and I found that note you left on my desk. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who makes obscenities sound so sexy.

Mya Washington: So are you saying you liked my drawing or…?

Colton Davis: Yeah I liked it…among other things.

Mya Washington: Hmm sounds interesting. What other things?

Colton Davis: Specifically, you. I’ve never met anyone like you. You’re one-of-a-kind.

Mya Washington: Technically, I’m three-of-a-kind. I’m a triplet remember.

Colton Washington: Ha! This is what I’m saying. Your uniqueness alone is why I’d choose to bunker up with you in a zombie apocalypse.

Mya Washington: I’d choose to bunker up with you because of the sex.

Colton Davis: Of course you would.

He called me unique,
I thought, reflecting on my mother’s words. My mind was spinning as I got dressed.
We hung out for nine days and then we haven’t spoken for a month. Well except for outside of Duke & Duchess, but that doesn’t count. We didn’t really talk, we argued. Oh God, did I really tell him that we were a mistake? I need to make things right. I can’t talk to my mom, but based off of that one email that said ‘choose your words wisely’ I’m sure she would tell me to apologize to Colton.

My finger hovered over the call button. The closer my finger got, the harder my heart pounded in my chest. I was nervous. In all of my life, the only times I could remember being nervous had to do with Colton.

I wasn’t nervous when I got questioned by the cops because of that sit-in I organized on campus, but I’m nervous to apologize to Colton. That doesn’t make sense,
I thought ruefully as the phone began to ring.

On the second ring, a female voice picked up. “Hello?”

I opened my mouth, but sound didn’t come out.

“Hello?” she repeated in a sing-song tone of voice. “Colt,” she yelled after a pause, “I picked up your phone—” And then the phone disconnected.

I hung up, feeling nothing but numbness.

Seriously?
I thought dropping my phone on the bed.

I wasn’t tired because of my nap and I debated if I should go out or not when Kelsey burst through the front door.

“Mya, are you awake?” Kelsey asked, making enough noise to wake me if I wasn’t.

“Yeah,” I answered, feeling completely drained.

“Come eat!”

I pulled myself off of the bed and padded into the living room. Over dinner I explained everything to Kelsey who continuously wiped tears from her face as the story progressed.

Through her sniffles, she asked, “So your dad and your mom were separated, but living together?”

“That’s what he says. I’m going to ask Marisa and Mikaela because they were at home a lot more than I was. But when I read over the emails she sent me, I think she was over it. I don’t know. Messages that didn’t make sense when I first got them, if I think about her being ready to divorce my dad, make sense now.”

“So are you at peace with your dad marrying Janet now?”

I gave her a look. “Hell no! But I need to talk to him face-to-face. I need to talk to my sisters face-to-face. I may not even attend the wedding, but I need to have a conversation with them. After that, I’ll decide.”

She smiled. “Good. I think it’ll be good for you.” Finishing up the last of the vegetable medley on her plate, she held her finger up while she chewed. “Now, have you thought about calling Colton?”

The chest pain was back at the mention of his name. I cleared my throat. “Actually, I have. I called and a woman answered the phone, so it’s done.”

“What? Well, who was it?” Kelsey’s shrieks sounded like mine would have if I would’ve allowed myself to verbalize my feelings.

“I don’t know,” I whispered. “Can we just watch a couple of romantic comedies and not talk about it?”

I could see she was holding back several more questions when she responded, “Of course.”

We stayed up until two o’clock in the morning watching movies. Kelsey fell asleep on the couch and I returned to my room and opened my laptop again. I searched the internet for about an hour before I settled on a not-so-reasonably priced roundtrip ticket to Chicago. I then booked a room at a nice hotel.

Thank you, Nicks,
I thought as I made the payment. The extra cushion in my account helped.

When I fell asleep, I had a nightmare that the woman who picked up Colton’s phone was Rhiannon. And Rhiannon’s mother was Janet. And Mikaela and Marisa loved their new step-sister. And they all got to know each other at Colton and Rhiannon’s wedding. I woke up early the next morning with a massive headache.

I knew at that point it was going to be a long week.

“I KNOW THIS IS LAST
minute. But I need to take a few days off to go home. Is that cool?” I asked, standing in front of Nicks’ desk.

“Of course you can. Now that I think about it, you never really take any time off to go home. You’re from the Midwest right?” Nicks asked as he looked up from his desk Sunday evening.

“Yeah. Chicago,” I answered, looking at the picture on his desk. “Nicks, your family is from here right?”

With his accent even thicker than normal, he proudly said, “New York born and raised.” He even puffed his chest out a little bit.

I laughed for the first time all day. “Okay, okay. You see them a lot?”

“I do. They live right outside the city.” He gave me a perplexed look. “What’s going on? You feeling homesick, Mya?”

I gave him a wink. “I am home.” And then I walked out of his office.

Besides Kelsey, no one knew what I had going on and that’s the way I liked it. For the rest of the night, I did my normal routine of flirting with customers and slinging drinks. Monday and Tuesday went the same as Sunday. I worked hard and kept my mind and body busy. I worked myself to exhaustion so that I could sleep all day. But for some reason, I woke up Wednesday afternoon with a sinking feeling in my gut.

Although I only planned to be in Chicago for five days, I packed ten outfits and multiple pairs of shoes. Dragging my suitcase to the front door, I double-checked to make sure I had everything. I was going to be at work until at least three o’clock in the morning so I wanted to be able to get at least eight hours of sleep before catching my early evening flight.

Even though it was early, I felt like I needed to get out of the apartment. Throwing my crossbody bag over my head, I left even though something didn’t sit well with me. My stomach was in knots, so I stopped to get a smoothie since I didn’t think I’d be able to tolerate anything else.

My heart clenched and my stomach twisted causing me to stop in my tracks.

What is going on?
I wondered as I tentatively resumed walking, heading down the street to Duke & Duchess.

Pulling my phone out, I called Kelsey.

“Hey, how are you?” I asked as soon as she answered.