Love and Devotion (67 page)

‘Of course I did. I’ve always known.’

‘Liar.’

‘Well, okay then. When you turned up out of the blue, my pathetic male ego kicked in and I hoped my luck was in too.’

‘Am I that obvious to read?’

‘Nah. It’s my stunning intuitive powers of deduction.’

When they’d said goodnight and Harriet had switched off her mobile, she thought she heard a noise coming from Carrie’s bedroom. She got out of bed and crossed the landing, her feet sinking into the new carpet. ‘Are you all right, Carrie?’ she said softly at her open door.

Carrie raised her head from the pillow. ‘I heard you talking to someone. Who was it?’

Harriet went and knelt by the side of her bed. ‘It was Will. He’s coming to see us tomorrow evening. Is that okay with you?’

Carrie nodded sleepily. ‘Mm ... that’ll be nice. Will’s fun.’

‘Yes, he is.’ Bending down to kiss her niece goodnight, Harriet thought that the word ‘fun’ summed up Will best. Despite everything he was going through, he still managed to be wonderful company. He made such a difference to her life. She just hoped she did the same for him.

‘Harriet?’ Her niece didn’t sound so sleepy now.

‘Yes, Carrie?’

‘You won’t ... you won’t ever leave us, will you?’

‘Hey there kiddo, what kind of a question is that?’

‘You might if you got bored with us. Or if we did something really bad.’

‘And have you done something really bad?’

‘No. But what if we did?’

Harriet sat down on the edge of the bed and mentally rolled up her sleeves to get to the bottom of what was on her niece’s mind. ‘Are you worrying about something, Carrie? Has something happened at school?’

Carrie shook her head.

‘Come on, you can tell me. No matter what you’ve done, I promise I won’t be cross.’

‘It’s nothing to do with school. It’s just that everything feels ...’ She hesitated and gave a little shrug. ‘Everything feels so nice since we moved here ... and it makes me feel happy.’

A flutter of understanding made Harriet say, ‘And that worries you, doesn’t it?’

‘Yes, because what if it stops being nice?’ Raising herself onto her elbow, Carrie sat up. ‘What if it all turns nasty and horrible again?’

The flutter of understanding became a surge of heartfelt love for this young girl who had so bravely learned to live through the pain of losing her parents, but who was afraid to trust the happiness she was now experiencing. Swallowing back the lump in her throat, Harriet put her arms round her niece and hugged her tight. She kissed the top of her head. ‘I’ll make you another promise,’ she said, leaning back so that Carrie could see her face in the half-light. ‘I’ll do my absolute best to make sure nothing ever turns nasty and horrible for you again. Now come on; it’s way past your bedtime. And mine too, for that matter.’

Will was right about the children, Harriet thought as she looked in on Joel a few minutes later. They did mean the world to her. She couldn’t imagine her life without them now. With the back of her hand, she stroked her nephew’s cheek gently and felt a jolt of tender love for him, just as she had with Carrie. She still experienced moments of paralysing fear when she remembered that she was totally responsible for these two children, but she was learning to accept and maybe even enjoy it a little by rising to the challenge. She was also learning that while the buck stopped with her, she wasn’t as alone as she’d initially felt. No longer did she feel as though she was fighting a one-woman war against an unfair lot. It seemed an impossible turnaround in her attitude, but from where she was now standing, her lot didn’t look so bad.

But it was the awesome trust Carrie and Joel put in her that frequently knocked her sideways. Could she really live up to their hopes, needs and expectations?

Only time would tell.

 

 

 

 

O
n the cold, starry winter’s night, Harriet had agreed so easily. It’s the sort of thing you say: ‘Yes, I’ll look after your children if anything happens to you.’ Then the years pass, the promise is forgotten, and everyone gets on with their lives — well, for four years anyway.

Naturally, when the car crash killed Harriet’s sister Felicity and her husband, all thoughts turned to their children, Carrie and Joel — their world ripped apart in an instant. Harriet and her parents would cope; they were the type to best foot forward their way through the worst of times. How true this was, Harriet was beginning to wonder.

 

 

 

 

T
he family were living in a stop-gap world, and had been for three months. Carrie and Joel were living with Harriet’s parents, who were looking after them during the week, while Harriet was at work in Oxford, battling up the M6 every Friday to spend the weekend with them in Cheshire. Harriet’s mother, Eileen, was obsessively worried that the two children weren’t eating properly and Harriet knew that this up-in-the-air life can’t have been helping - she certainly knew that the constant nausea she felt didn’t encourage a proper diet.

Harriet had to face some uncomfortable truths, including a growing knowledge that she was possibly the most unsuitable person in the world to look after children. She was entirely unprepared and most certainly not what you would call a natural. Harriet knew she would have to rely on her parents. The children couldn’t come to live with her in Oxford — even if she sold her flat, the childcare during the week would be unsustainable. She would have to leave behind both her career and social life, find work near her parents’ house, living there until she could buy a home for herself, Carrie and Joel. Not the way her life had been planned, but she loved her sister, and a promise was a promise.

Harriet’s father, Bob, was all at sea. He couldn’t pin down when the change in his life had happened. Theirs had been a normal family, with him at the head of it. But, even before the death of his daughter, he’d felt a subtle shift. Felicity had started ending phone calls by telling him to take care. What had prompted that? Suddenly he was no longer the parent. And now, though he’d be ever grateful to Harriet for discarding her life in an instant, it was she who seemed to be making all the decisions. He felt somehow disenfranchised — he’d have to pull himself together — and soon.

Harriet saw the white van with its tailgate down as she left the house. She momentarily wondered who was moving in over the road, but didn’t spare much of her overburdened mind to wonder for long. As she hurried away, Will Hart was behind the sofa in his new house plugging in the CD player. When he’d set out on his adult life, a vision of the future would not have been like this. He’d begun as a lawyer, married and on the way up. Now what was he? A divorced antiques dealer - and so much happier for it. Life might not have turned out as he’d expected, but with his two beautiful daughters and a new career, he had no complaints.

Will soon finds himself becoming ever more closely involved with his new neighbours as they try to cope with their radically reshaped world, and Harriet and he are to be drawn together. Until an unimaginable twist in his own life threatens to unravel his world and his mind, leaving Harriet helpless.

 

 

 

 

E
rica James grew up on Hayling Island in Hampshire, and has since lived in Oxford, Yorkshire and Belgium. She is the author of eleven bestselling books, and says her main qualification for writing is that she’s ‘a nosy devil and loves watching and eavesdropping on other people’s conversations’.

She now lives in Cheshire.

 

 

 

 

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