Louise Rennison_Georgia Nicolson 09 (9 page)

On the down side, as she had gone in her house Declan said, “We must do this again sometime.”

And gone off.

We decided that “sometime” is in fact “s'laters” in disguise.

I told them about my mum's theory about boys being gazelles in trousers that must be enticed out of the woods (i.e., away from their stupid mates). We decided that the best thing was to be alert for sightings of the gazelles (playing footie, etc.) and to be attractively semi available.

Jas then got all misty eyed about first meeting Tom. She said to me, “Do you remember when I
first saw Tom and he was so hunky, working in the shop? And we had a plan to make him notice me. And I went into the shop to buy some onions and then you came in and made out like I was the most popular girl in the school sort of thing. And the rest is history.”

She looked a bit sad and said, “Quite literally, the rest might be history.”

To cheer her up, and also to stop her moaning on about the vole years, I suggested we get down to talking about serious world matters. Like the beret question for winter term. Could we improve on the lunchpack theme?

Sophie said, “My very favoritist was Glove Animal. Couldn't he come back for a reprise this term?”

midnight

We were comparing notes snogging scale wise and also saying what number we thought people had got to.

Jools said, “Do you think Miss Wilson has ever snogged anyone? If so, what number do you think she has got up to?”

Erlack.

I said, “No man alive could get through all the corduroy.”

Rosie said, “Oh, I don't know, she has a certain charm. I think I may be on the turn actually, because I thought she was quite fit when I saw her in the nuddy-pants with her soap on a rope.”

We all looked at her. Sometimes even I am surprised by how mad and weird she is.

I said, “Jools, swap places with me, I am not sleeping next to Lezzie Mees.”

And then Rosie started puckering up at me.

I stood up in bed and started kicking her off and she grabbed my ankles and pulled me over.

Mabs yelled, “Girl fight, girl fight!” and we started a massive pillow fight.

At which point the door opened and Jools's mum came in.

Oh, dear.

She looked very serious. Here we go with the “We give you girls a bit of freedom and you just take advantage, when I was a girl we didn't even have pillows, we slept in a drawer and—”

But she just said, “Georgia, your mum is on the phone for you. You can take it on the extension up here if you like, dear.”

I wonder why she is looking at me so funny? Maybe Mum is drunk on vino tinto and having an ABBA evening with her friends and has decided to start a new life with a fireman that she met at aquarobics. Well, I tell you this for free, I am not going to live with her and Des or whatever he is called.

Mum was actually crying when I picked up the phone. Oh brilliant, she has already been dumped by Des and I will have to listen to her rambling on about it for the rest of my life.

She said, “Oh, darling, I am so so sorry.”

Then she started crying again.

I said, “Er, Mum, I will not be moving in with you and Des.”

She didn't even bother to reply, she just was gulping and crying. Actually I was a bit worried about her because she did sound very upset. Oh, blimey.

She went on, “Mr. Across the Road came—over…and oh, it was so—when I opened the door, I thought, I thought he was carrying a baby—all wrapped up in a blanket…and then, oh love, and…and oh one of his paws fell out of the, out of the blanket and, it just…hung there…all limp.”

And she started weeping and weeping.

I couldn't understand what she meant.

I said, “What do you mean, whose paw?”

And she said, “Oh, darling, it was Angus.”

I couldn't speak and my brain wouldn't work.

I could hear Mum sobbing and talking but she sounded like a little toyperson on the end of the phone.

“Mr. Across the Road found him at the bottom…of our street…by the side of the road—you know how much he liked cars…he, he thought they were big mice on wheels, didn't he—and he must have been—and he was just lying there.”

Then tears started coming out of my eyes, all by themselves, just pouring out of my eyes and plopping on my pajamas. My mouth was dry, and I felt like I was choking on something.

Mum was still talking. “Georgia, love, please talk to me. Please say something, please.”

I don't know how long I stood there with the tears falling, but then I felt a big pain in my heart like someone had kicked it and then stuck a knife in it. And I think a noise came out of me, you know like when people are in pain and they make like a deep groan. It didn't feel like my voice, just like
someone in pain very far away.

I think it must have been real because the next thing I knew Jas had her hand on my shoulder. She said, “What's happened, Gee, what's the matter?”

I couldn't say, I could only cry and shake.

Jas took the phone out of my hand.

“Hello? It's Jas. What has happened?…Oh, no. Oh, no.”

As she was speaking Jas had put her arm around me. “Yes, yes, I'm here, I'll look after her. I'll come with her in a taxi. Yes, yes, I'll look after her, we are all here, we'll take care of her.”

By now the ace gang had come out into the hall and when they saw me they came and all hugged me. I just wanted to be unconscious, I think. I wanted to tear my head off so it wouldn't have anything in it.

I can't really remember what happened, but I know I was shaking so much that Jools's mum wrapped me in a big blanket and the taxi arrived. I cried and cried into Jas's shoulder and she made those noises that people do, not really words, just like “there, there—sshhhh” like you do when little children have nightmares. She was rocking me.

When we got to our house all the lights were on in the front room. I could see Mum looking out of the window as we pulled into the driveway.

When I tried to get out of the cab I couldn't make my legs work and the cab driver got out of his seat and came and picked me up. He said, “Don't worry, love, I've got you.”

He carried me into the house and when he put me down, Mum and Jas got hold of an arm each to make me safe. As he went the cab driver said, “Look after her, there's no charge. God bless.”

My voice was all croaky when I tried to speak. I said, “Where…is he?”

And Mum said, “I put him on the sofa.”

It was really weird going into the front room, it was like a gale force wind was blowing, I was sure it was real, I could hear it whooshing against the door. Trying to keep me out. I felt like I was walking into the wind trying to get to Angus.

He was on the sofa wrapped up in the blanket, his eyes all closed and his mouth half open. There was a big deep red gash on his head. I went over to him and looked down and my tears splashed onto his face. How could I live without my furry pal? He wasn't supposed to leave me. In that moment I
would have actually rather it was me lying there.

I sat down beside him and put my finger on his nose and stroked it. It was the first time I had ever been able to do that. He would have attacked my hand when he—when he—and I started wailing again, just saying, “Oh, Angus, Angus, I love you, I love you more than anything.”

And then a little noise came out of him. Like a little growl.

I yelled, “Mum, Mum, he's alive!!! He's moving!!! He's alive.”

Mum came over and put her arms around me. “I know he's still breathing, love, but when I phoned the vet I told him what had happened and what he looked like—the vet said he would have internal injuries and that really the best, the kindest thing, would be to put him to sleep. He's coming over now and going to take him to the surgery and—”

I leapt up, “He is NOT going to be put to sleep. If anyone tries to do that, I will KILL them. I mean it, Mum. It is not going to happen. No, you can't let him. I won't let him.”

The doorbell rang.

thirty seconds later

I must have looked like I was going to kill the vet. He looked at me and then he said, “Let me have a look at the poor fellow.”

He gently felt all over Angus and lifted up his legs. They just flopped back. Angus didn't make any more noises.

The vet sighed. He said, “I'm afraid there will be a lot of internal injury. I think the kindest thing all round would be—”

I just said, “No.”

The vet looked at me. He shook his head.

I said, “Please try, I love him.”

And the tears started plopping out of my eyes again.

I stroked Angus's face and he did a bit of a growl again.

I said to the vet, “You see?”

After a minute or two the vet said, “Alright, I'll try, but I'm being honest with you, cats don't often survive this sort of thing.”

He packed Angus in blankets and said he will give him X-rays and drips and anything he can at the surgery.

I said, “Thank you.”

I didn't mean to but I gave him a hug.

And he's got a beard.

vet's surgery

Angus has bandages everywhere, even on his tail. He has not made any noise since the little one when I stroked his face. He is on a drip, and his tongue is lolling out.

But I am not annoyed about his tongue lolling out, I can't imagine being ever annoyed with him again about anything. If he will live he can have anything he wants.

I said that to Jas, who was still with me. I said, “When I get home I am going to pray for Angus to Baby Jesus, and if he will let Angus live, I will try to be a really good person.” And I included Jas's fringe flicking in that. And my dad's leather trousers. That is how serious it all was.

Angus was going to stay in the surgery overnight and the vet said I could come the next day as soon as they opened.

He looked tired and a bit sad. And now I noticed it he also looked very beardey. No, no, I don't want the tired and sad beardey vet, I want the handsome, thrusting ER vet who says, “I've done it, he's going to pull through. Have a nice day.”

Dr. Beardey said, “I want you to know that I love animals very much, and I know what he means to you, but it doesn't look good. If I keep him alive he will probably die in a few hours from something I can't fix.”

I just said, “He is not going to die, that is a fact.”

Jas said she'd come and stay with me at my house but I said no, I wanted to do some heavy praying. She gave me a little kiss on the cheek when she left. I know it was dark and a lezzie-free zone, but it was still nice of her.

thursday august 25th

dawn

I don't think I slept. I just nodded off now and again and then woke up and for a few moments life felt normal and then I remembered. Even Gordy, not world renowned for his caring, sympathetic nature, cuddled up next to me and didn't attack me once even when I moved my foot.

five minutes later

Gordy came and sat on my chest and looked at me with his yellow eyes. Well, one of his yellow eyes, the other one was glancing out of the window. He
was looking at me, unblinking. Then he let out one of those strange croakey noises that makes him sound like he is a hundred-a-day smoking cat. And he leapt down from my bed.

I think he knows something.

I think he knows about Angus and he is on my side.

Even if he is a homosexualist half-cat half-dog, it doesn't matter. Love is all you need.

ten minutes later

Looking out of the window, Gordy is playing chase the bonio with the Prat brothers.

That is not right in anyone's book.

To think of his father lying in a vet's surgery whilst his son scampers around with ridiculous poodles. He has no pridenosity.

five minutes later

I remembered my vow to Baby Jesus. About being a jolly good egg about everything.

Even very annoying things.

Deep breath and—look, look at Gordy playing happily with other creatures made by God.

Alright, curly, annoying yappy creatures, but
God's creatures nevertheless.

I mean, not many people like maggots, do they?

But that is not the point.

Mr. and Mrs. Maggot love them. Probably.

And that is what counts.

Oh shut up, brain. Just love everything and get on with it.

7:30 a.m.

Please let him be alive. Please.

I started to get myself some Coco Pops, but I couldn't eat them.

Mum got up and her eyes were all swollen. I went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. Blimey, I had no eyes. They had disappeared in the night. I was now just a nose with two eyebrows. And the places where my eyes had been ached and ached. In fact everything ached.

Mum said, “I think I am going to ask Grandad now he's back if Bibbs can stay there for a couple of days just until this is all over—I mean, you know.”

I said, “Just until Angus comes home for convalescence, you mean?”

Mum looked at me. “Georgia…you know what the vet said.”

I shouted, “What does he know, his beard is so bushy, he probably can't even see what animal he's treating unless it says ‘Who's a pretty boy, then?' Or starts barking or neighing.”

Mum said, “Calm down. He's doing his best.”

I said, “He'd better be.”

one minute later

Hello God and Baby Jesus, erm, I might have given the wrong impression about Dr. Beardey the vet in that I implied he was a beardey fool. But I meant it in a lighthearted and gay way.

one minute later

When I say “gay” I don't mean gay as in an “Oooohhhh do you like my big beard?” sort of way, I mean that I was merely being cheerful.

one minute later

Dear G and B. J., I am signing off communication wise as I have to go to the piddly diddly department.