Lost Girls

Book 4-
Crocodile Sprit Dreaming

Copyright

Lost Girls

Graham
Wilson

Copyright
Graham Wilson 2015

Published at
Smashwords

BeyondBeyond
Books Edition

ISBN
9781311245236

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is
licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be
re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share
this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy
for each recipient.

If you’re
reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased
for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com or your
favorite retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for
respecting the hard work of this author.

This is the
fourth book in a series of five books called the Crocodile Spirit
Dreaming Series, named for the central role which a large and
ferocious predator, the salt water crocodile, plays in these
stories. This series is principally set in the Northern Territory,
a huge undeveloped part of the north of Australia. Crocodiles
dominate its coastline. Their danger is an ever present part of
life, told in the stories of its aboriginal inhabitants.

In the first
book an English backpacker, Susan, comes on holiday to Australia,
and goes travelling in the outback with a local man, Mark. Too late
she realises that this man has terrible secrets hidden, involving
the disappearance of other travellers. She only just escapes with
her life, but Mark dies. She hides this fact in the hope that no
one will ever know.

In the second
book Susan tries to get on with a new life back in England. But
Mark’s body has been discovered and the police link her to his
death and charge her with murder. She has this man’s diary and
needs to understand what he did and why, which she hopes the diary
will reveal.

In the third
book Susan is in jail in Darwin, Australia, on trial for murder.
She had decided to plead guilty but refuses to say what has
happened, and actively seeks to conceal his role in the
disappearance of other girls. She becomes suicidal in her
desperation to escape from what appears a hopeless situation. The
one person, a helicopter pilot, who could help her, has vanished
too. Finally the police discover about the other missing girls and
she is released on bail while they investigate what this means.

This book picks
up the story following Susan’s release from jail. It tells the
story of four missing girls, at first only known from passport
photos. Then Susan vanishes too. Now it is the search for five lost
girls by Susan’s own best friend, Anne, who is full of guilt at her
failure to save her friend.

It was a small
hour of the morning, number around 3 or 4. Her mind was sharply
awake but she for a second did not know where her body was, except
that it was in a bed and the bed was unfamiliar.

There was the
sound of another person drawing breath, in and out, regular but not
loud. She moved her arms around to explore the bed space. A body
was lying near, source of breath sounds. It was hard and angular
shaped; a body of elbows and bony protuberances. It was a man, and
he was sharing her bed, now in this most alone hour.

As she felt his
shape her memory returned. If he delayed his return a little longer
neither she nor he would be here. She would be a cold object in a
box; her spirit, if such existed, gone. Great tenderness for this
man washed over her; it was as if he had reprieved her from death
row a minute before execution, even if her demise would have been
self-done.

She ran her
fingers through his straggly hair and over a bony shoulder. She
pushed her body tightly up against him, wrapped arms around and
hugged herself to him. He was all bones and angles, so wasted from
walking, but she loved his shape and comfort. Her body was so
distended with her swollen child-full belly; his was so empty from
three months of eating lizards and frogs. Yet he was here and he
was hers. She loved his body, she loved him.

He stirred in
his sleep. Coming half-awake he rolled towards her, speaking in a
thick sleep filled voice.

“I can’t
believe I am lying here with you. I have no words to say how
wonderful it feels. It is something I half dreamed as I walked
forever but never dared to imagine.”

Now she could
feel his body rousing against her, his maleness was his one full
part. She wanted it to fill her again. She rolled onto her back
bringing his hand to that place. They made love, he trying to be
careful of her enlarged belly. She laughed, telling him. “They are
well protected in there. You are as light as a feather, you will do
no harm.”

Their bodies
released in one of life’s tender moments.

He muttered,
“Susan, my beautiful Susan.”

She felt happy;
so, so, really, really, really happy; she felt new surprise at her
ability to love, to know complete gladness after what had been. She
must never lose this moment of surprise by joy.

Vic drifted
back to sleep. Soon she could hear his regular breathing again. Her
mind stayed in a dreamy wakefulness, remembering what had been,
only bare hours before.

They had left
the courtroom together, with a crowd of friends and family, walking
the short distance to the hotel, all of them desiring a celebration
and catch up. Vic hobbled beside her for his promised plate of
steak and chips washed down with a cold beer.

The food was
good but the night an anti-climax. Vic had eaten so little for
weeks that he could only manage a third of his dinner. She had a
numb mind from anxiety and exhaustion of spirit. Vic had barely
slept for the past three nights as he had driven himself to keep
walking. Now, with his mission accomplished and alcohol washing
through his bloodstream, he could barely keep his eyes open. Others
wanted to take Vic to hospital to recover and fix his leg and to
take her to a hotel bed in a room next to her parents or Anne to
protect her from herself.

But Susan
declined, saying “Vic has walked for three months to get here
today. I am staying with him tonight.” No one could argue with
that.

So, ever
reliable, Alan had the solution. “My flat is empty now that I am
sharing with Sandy. Why don’t you both stay there tonight?”

They both
nodded in gratitude. Soon they were there, alone. In a minute Vic
was asleep, stretched out on the bed. Susan showered and found one
of Sandy’s light dressing robes, wrapping it around her body. She
sat on the bed beside Vic, one hand on his shoulder, the other
fondling his hair, taking in simple pleasure from touching and
looking.

After half an
hour he stirred and looked up with an incredulous grin. “I dreamed
of you. Here you are, way more beautiful than in my dream.”

She took off
her robe, placing her naked body along his. His body was unwashed,
dirty, skinny and smelt. She did not care. She wanted to join her
body fully to his. Soon they were in a place of joined
togetherness. Then they slept, bodies entwined, in a deep and
dreamless sleep.

Emily woke with
bright light streaming into bedroom.

She knew, with
that certainty that comes with great clarity after crisis, that
from today she would become a new person. She would leave behind
her alter ego, the person in whose skin she had lived this last
year. Like the way a snake sheds it skin and there is a new full
formed skin underneath, but still an integral part of the
whole.

She would
remake herself, both anew and by a return to the life of her own
happy childhood. Once this was done her Susan persona would soon
fade from collective memory. It had happened that way for Mark’s
identity when she had told the world of his real name. Mark Bennet
had slid away, along with all the other Mark Bs. In their place the
world now only remembered Vincent Bassingham. So too she would shed
her Susan name, a name redolent of horror. Those she cared about
would now only call her by her name from school.

It was an idea
that had formed in her mind over dinner last night, an alternative
way of escaping her own self now that Vic had come back. It seemed
like a good plan, a way in which she could build a new life with
her almost formed children.

She stretched
in bed. This bed was unbelievably soft and luxurious after where
she had slept over the last few months. Her brain was struggling to
take in the changes that a day had made. Yesterday she had looked
no future in the eye and convinced herself that this was what she
wanted, an escape on any terms, even one of her own ending.

Today those
last months had a surreal feel. She was glad to be alive, glad that
somehow, whether through fluke, divine providence, or perhaps the
efforts of friends, she had stepped through two doors. She could
now look from outside into her two cages of yesterday, the cage
inside her mind which refused to see other options, and the cage of
a jail cell which had sealed away her body for months.

She climbed out
of bed and stretched, revelling in a sense of freedom. It was true,
all of a sudden she could come and go as she pleased; she could
just catch the hotel lift and walk outside without anybody to say
not. A glance out of the window told her it was a bright sunny day.
Her room was high up, a short walk from a cliff top. Beyond lay
miles of water looking to a distant shore. This must be Darwin
Harbour; it seemed very big and empty with barely a handful of
boats dotting the horizon.

She found a
bathrobe and went into the shower. She stripped off in front of a
full length mirror. Her body was much changed since the last time
she had a full view of herself. Her arms, legs and face looked very
thin, almost gaunt. They contrasted with her large, bloated belly.
She felt the weight of her babies pushing down; it was a bare six
weeks to go until the due date.

As she came out
of the shower a discrete tap on the door signalled a visitor. She
put the safety latch on and opened cautiously, not wanting to find
a TV crew and camera in waiting. It was a breakfast tray someone
must have ordered for her last night. She felt inordinately pleased
with this simple service and brought it inside. A minute later her
phone rang. It was Anne, checking she was awake and inquiring
whether to come over to her room or, alternatively, inviting her to
come out and join them for breakfast. She told Anne to come in five
minutes and share her breakfast tray, but only for her to come.

Emily felt full
of thanks to Anne, the friend who had stuck to her through thick
and thin. She must to talk alone with Anne before she faced the
wider world. Yesterday was a reprieve. Today a mass of unresolved
issues bubbled below the surface that she needed time and more
mental clearness to deal with. Last night she had pushed them away
out of sheer relief, today she needed a clear head to think
rationally about them.

Dealing with a
whole lot of people who were no longer kept away by a prison and
now wanted to know her plans seemed too confronting. She and Anne
could talk sensibly, one on one, about today and the days after,
how to start taking baby steps back into this scary outside
world.

Her thoughts
turned to Vic. She felt another welling up of affection. She had
intended to spend the night with him, minding him and holding him
close, giving comfort to his broken body, in a similar way to how
he had begun to heal her broken mind, but exhaustion had
intervened. He had come with her from the court to the nearby hotel
bar where his cherished beer, steak and chips had been ordered. He
had finished the beer quickly, perhaps too quickly. He had eaten
some chips and a few mouthfuls of steak, but at that point the
exhaustion overwhelmed him.

So Buck and his
wife, Julie, took Vic to a hotel room next to theirs where they
could give him the attention he needed. Really he should have gone
to hospital, but he would not agree to that. So Buck, as a friend,
took the responsibility to ensure his care. Emily felt pulled to go
with Vic, to lay her body alongside his and hold him as he slept,
but she knew she must find some time to talk with and thank the
others, Anne and David, her Mum and Dad, Alan and Sandy. It was not
deep conversation, but the togetherness and simple relief felt good
to them all.

During the
night she had dreamed of Vic, of loving him and joining her body to
him. Tonight she must do it, make the dream become real. One thing
she knew after her months locked away was that she would take the
chances for happiness that came to her; she would not waste them or
die wondering about what might have been. She was confident that
Vic had real affection, maybe love, for her. She had spent too long
on her own, now she wanted to be with him and she thought he wanted
to be with her. So she would do all she could to make it happen
without delay.