Lost Causes (25 page)

To stop them, we had to destroy them. If they sent a dozen elementals after us, we’d need to eliminate one after the other until the secret died with them. My stomach clenched in revulsion at the thought, my mind rejecting the idea before it was fully formed.

Mac was correct. This was them, not me. The council was responsible for all its actions, and I wouldn’t accept the blame.

Not being responsible wasn’t the same as not being the cause. I was the reason our lives were being destroyed, and I’d keep being the reason.

I was also the only one who could end it.

Every suite at the Lakeshore Resort was booked by businessmen on a corporate retreat, so we settled for a couple of connected rooms on the second floor. Grams and the shifters met us in the lobby. While Grams mended Vivian’s arm, we caught the others up on the day’s events.

Those of us who lived in the cabin had nothing but the clothes on our backs, but there are advantages to having your name on the deed of a luxury hotel. The concierge ignored all the other guests to help Sera, and soon we had new clothes in every size, color, and fabric hanging in our closets, each item more expensive than the one before.

We ordered sandwiches, but room service decided we forgot half the order. The tray that arrived included a roasted vegetable salad and handmade ravioli. The hotel’s restaurant had a Michelin star, but we could only pick at the food. Even Simon showed little interest in his tuna tartare.

We didn’t leave the hotel. The group had developed a siege mentality, and after several hours that became a problem. I needed to be alone for a while.

“I’m going to the lake,” I announced.

Grams stood with me. “Oh, that sounds lovely, dear. Lead the way.”

I couldn’t say no, so together we visited the pristine blue of Lake Tahoe. It was too cold for swimmers, and the winter tourists wouldn’t arrive until the first big snow of the year. Only a few people milled around the lake, and they paid no attention to either me or Grams.

“No matter what happens, you’ll get her out?”

My request didn’t surprise her. “Of course I will. Fiona is my daughter. I wouldn’t let her languish in some council cell. But nothing is going to happen, my dear.” She caught and held my gaze, insisting I believe her words.

Ah, denial. As much a Brook family trait as our blond hair.

Dinner was a quiet affair, though this time I cleaned my plate. Tomorrow, things would change, and I suspected I’d need all the energy I could get.

Mac and I were given our own room. As soon as the door shut, I threw myself at him, claiming his mouth while my hands roamed his body, trying to touch every part. My urgency surprised him, but it wasn’t long before Mac met me touch for touch, his lips just as demanding. We fell onto the bed, tearing clothes as our need built. We wanted to lose ourselves in the taste and scent and texture of the other’s skin. For hours, we found relief from the day in each other’s bodies.

At last, he drifted off to sleep. I waited a little longer than I should have. I wasn’t ready to go. Not while Mac’s arms were tight around me for what would be the final time.

I reached for the tiny thread of power he kept safe for me. It was so vibrant. We shared the magic, but it would never truly be his. It had been born within me, and its life was tied to mine. When my power was suppressed, so was his, and if I died, the magic would die with me. It was a small comfort, knowing Mac would be free.

I forced myself to leave the bed, and then the room. I saw no one on my way to the lobby, and the night clerk didn’t argue when I asked to use the hotel’s town car.

The driver dropped me at an office in central Truckee. The man who greeted me was yawning. My three a.m. phone call had been a surprise, but my lawyer knew it was bad business to turn away the woman whose fortune supported his entire practice.

An hour later, I returned to the hotel with a thick stack of documents. I pulled out the keys I swiped earlier. Sera had used that cartoon devil keychain as long as I’d known her, and seeing the silly thing made my throat tighten.

Her Mustang was in the hotel’s underground parking lot. I put the folded documents that handed over my entire trust fund in her glove compartment. She’d discover them the next time she searched for her copy of
London Calling
.

When I reached Will’s room, I slid another document under the door. This was the deed to the unused property I owned in Oregon, along with a request for him to pass it along to one of the now homeless shifters.

It was still dark when I snuck into the hotel room, and Mac’s even breathing told me he hadn’t noticed my absence.

The bathroom was connected to a walk-in closet, so I could close the door and dress without waking Mac. I still wore my outfit from that morning. It reeked of smoke, a constant reminder of what the council took from us.

I pulled on a new pair of my favorite brand of jeans. There was a bite in the air that wouldn’t vanish with the sunrise, so I added a royal blue sweater.

I studied myself in the bathroom’s full-length mirror, trying to memorize the image—the woman I’d become, not the one the council believed I was.

The shades of blue in my outfit evoked the pure color of Lake Tahoe, the body of water that had fed and powered me so many times over the years. It was where Mac cried against my neck while telling me about his family, where Sera had fought to keep me sane, where my mother and I began rebuilding our relationship after years apart.

It was home, and I didn’t think I’d ever see it again.

All I saw in my reflection was water. Gray eyes like river pebbles. Gold hair, the color of the sun reflecting on the ocean at twilight. A tall body as slim and fluid as a stream merging into a river, and then into a lake, growing in power with each transition.

I’d been a stream, and I’d grown with each person I added to my life. Now I was an ocean.

The woman staring back at me wasn’t complete.

A makeup case lay on the counter. I rarely wore any, but Sera did, and she’d asked the concierge to purchase several items. They’d given me a set as well, just to be thorough.

I dug through the plastic case until I found a thick black eyeliner.

I rimmed both eyes. The look should have been startling and unfamiliar, but it felt like my face became my own. I wrenched off my blue sweater and rifled through the clothes hanging in the closet. The concierge hadn’t known our preferences, so the shirts were in a rainbow of colors, orange and pink and purple.

There was also a bright red sweater with a deep v-neck. It fit like it was custom made.

Gray eyes blackened by soot. The body of a water covered in the heat of a fire.

Whatever future remained for me, I would never again deny who I was.

I was ready.

I picked up the flip phone and dialed the number from earlier. Deborah answered on the first ring. She sounded wide awake.

“You win,” I told her. I added several conditions, and she didn’t hesitate before agreeing to every one of them. After I gave her a time and location, I hung up.

The meeting was hours away, but I needed to escape before anyone woke. They’d try to stop me, because that’s what friends did.

Friends also did anything they could to stop psychobitch council members from destroying lives and property or kidnapping people. Today I needed to be that kind of friend.

The door slid open on silent hinges. I walked toward the bed, unable to leave without seeing Mac once more.

The bed was empty.

Wincing, I turned to face him. He wasn’t alone. A small black cat known for his spying skills crouched at Mac’s feet, and my sister stood at his side.

“Hey, Ade,” Sera said. “You got anything planned for today?”

CHAPTER 26

T
he council told me to come alone. My friends made an alternate plan.

I’d agreed to meet the council at noon. My friends decided that didn’t apply to them.

While they altered one thing after another, there was one part of the plan they didn’t try to change. No one attempted to stop me.

“You’re really going to let me do this?” I asked. We were studying a map of the planned meeting spot. It was a large clearing several miles northeast of Truckee, in a section of the forest best known for the illegal parties college students held on weekends. It was familiar territory. I wanted to face Deborah on home turf.

“It’s not a question of letting you do anything. You’ve made your choice, Ade. I’ve been trying to keep you from being an idiot for months now, and it never seems to work. We’re still in this position. If I stop you, you’ll try it again, and you’ll be smarter next time. At least this way you won’t be alone. We’ll have your back.”

I didn’t want them to risk their lives by coming with me. They wished I wouldn’t go at all. This was the closest we’d get to a compromise.

Mac grumbled his very reluctant agreement. I’d say this for my friends. They understood exactly how stupid and stubborn I could be.

They also thought it was only a meeting. I knew it was a surrender.

The shifters arrived at the designated spot five hours before the scheduled meeting. They scouted the entire clearing and several miles of surrounding forest, confirming that no elementals were already there and planning a double cross. Vivian and Jet arrived an hour later and, with Simon’s help, scanned for any transmitting tech. Deborah might not understand technology, but we had no idea how many others were involved by now.

When the council appeared five minutes before noon, I stood in the middle of the clearing. Behind me sat a couple of SUVs and a Mustang. The vehicles had transported two bears, an otter, a mountain lion, a cat, a fire, an earth, a water, and one human. They all stood behind me. I’d been surprised when Jet asked to come. She said it sounded like fun.

Deborah rode in an enormous SUV. If it was any larger, people would try renting it for special events. The behemoth rolled to a stop a safe distance from me.

Four full waters climbed out of the vehicle. Deborah and Michael, of course, and two women I recognized from a photo in which they threatened to torch the homes of those I loved.

They all looked wan, their hair and skin a bit dull. The chase had taken its toll on them, as well. Good.

Grams had told me the Ponds were in disgrace, so none of their family had been invited when the council was reformed. That meant the new members standing before me were Ruth Strait and Harriet Lake, if Grams’ gossip was correct. Both women had relatives who’d died on the Brook island, and both of them stared at me with a simmering hatred that boiled over when they saw my shifter company.

There was a weighted pause. It felt like a decision was being made, then the other rear door opened and Allison Ash, the leader of the fire council, stepped out.

We weren’t off to a good start.

“Are you kidding me?” Sera was at my side faster than Usain Bolt. “You’re the water council’s bitch?”

It didn’t surprise me when Allison took no offense. A few days in the Blais compound had reminded me that fires seldom mince words.

“I’ve known—knew—your father for centuries, Sera. I considered him a friend. He talked about you often, which is why I know he desired the best for you. This path you’re on will lead to incarceration or death. In Josiah’s memory, I will help his daughter any way I can, even if you reject my help. It’s what he would want.”

“You knew him that well and never learned that no one was allowed to fuck with his daughters?” Sera sneered.

I raised my hand. “Please note her use of the plural. Daughters. Both of us. You didn’t try to help me avoid incarceration or death?”

Allison’s lips tightened. “That hasn’t been confirmed.”

“He told a roomful of people!” Who were all either dead, standing behind me, or a council member. Not an impartial witness among them. Frustrated, I chucked a small fireball at Allison as proof.

“That doesn’t prove you’re his daughter. Another full fire could have impregnated your mother.”

The other thing I remembered at the compound was that fires can be stubborn to the point of irrationality. I gave up. This wasn’t a battle I would win, and it was an unnecessary distraction.

“Where’s Luke?”

Deborah gestured to Sera. “She needs to move back. No joining powers.”

I glanced pointedly at the other council members. They took three steps away from each other. I nodded at Sera, and she put the exact same distance between us.

Deborah called over her shoulder. “Now.”

The back of the SUV swung open. Two men emerged, both over six feet and more muscled than a full water. They were blond, but a shade darker than the rest of the council. I’d guess they were halfs at most. The men looked like twins, the only distinction being one wore a sullen expression and the other appeared flustered. Neither seemed entirely sure why they were there.

Together, they maneuvered a gurney out of the backseat. A sleeping Luke was strapped to it.

“Place him over there,” Deborah ordered.

Obligingly, they carried him to a grassy spot far from the rest of us. They unstrapped him, rolled him off, then returned with the gurney.

“I’ve upheld my end of the deal.” Deborah’s eyes gleamed with anticipation.

Next to me, Sera tensed. She’d heard nothing about a deal.

I asked Grams to check on him. She confirmed that he was alive.

“My mother?”

“Is no longer in a council cell.” Deborah’s voice was as perfectly modulated as ever, but I thought she was fighting the impulse to rush her words. “Also, we will leave Tahoe the moment you take the other man’s place on the gurney.”

I studied her, looking for any sign she lied. So far, everything she’d said had been the truth, or at least her version of it. Even her threats hadn’t been empty.

Sera vibrated with agitation. “Ade, please tell me this doesn’t mean what I think it does.”

A rustle of feet told me the others were walking toward me. I glowered at them until they stopped moving.

“I know what I’m doing,” I called.

They paused, uncertain, hoping I had a master plan I’d forgotten to share.

My friends were about twenty feet away, and I raised my voice so they would catch every word. “This has to happen. If you’re honest with yourselves, you’ll know I’m right. You said I got to make my own choices, Sera. This is it. I’ve chosen to hand myself in, and I’m not going to change my mind. None of you have to agree with my decision, but you don’t get to stop me.”

They wanted to argue. I saw it on their faces, the frustration and rage and resistance to this horrible plan. It was everything I’d felt the day before. In the end, they reached the same conclusion I had. We couldn’t spend the rest of our lives running.

Agitated magic encircled me, and the shifters’ eyes were more animal than human. Mac was already half bear, his eyes feral and cunning. He hadn’t agreed to this plan.

I tried walking toward Deborah. The air felt heavy and thick, like it was holding me in place. It went against everything I’d fought for these last months, to give in to this wretched woman.

I moved forward three feet, then paused. If there’d been a force field between us, it wouldn’t have made it any harder to reach her.

Deborah wasn’t evil. She was like so many old ones, disconnected from the human world and its ever-changing morals. Josiah had been no different, and Sera and I still mourned him.

All her threats, every act of destruction, was intended to draw me into the open. Malice had never informed her actions. No one was dead because of her, which was more than I could say.

Deborah wasn’t unreasonable. She’d released Luke. He might be a dual, but he was also cured and hadn’t killed anyone, so far as they knew. They could ignore his existence if it meant they got the bigger prize.

My mother had been set free. Soon, the council would give up any claim to Tahoe, leaving the shifters and elementals who lived there to build their own peace.

My life was a small trade for an end to constant conflict, destruction, and fear.

I wouldn’t have believed that if we were talking about Sera’s or Mac’s life, or anyone else’s for that matter, but there was a key difference between us: I deserved it.

I didn’t deserve it because I was a horrible person. I no longer felt the need to wear a hairshirt. This wasn’t the same impulse that had placed me under the cairn.

A drunk driver who kills someone is no less culpable because their judgment was impaired. The robber whose gun accidentally goes off when it’s waved at the victim still committed the crime.

It was impossible to make amends by wallowing in the past. All I could do was choose my path going forward and choose it well. I stood before Deborah and the council because this was the best choice I could make. It was the choice that would do the most good, and I wouldn’t shy away from it, no matter how difficult it felt at that moment.

I hadn’t expected it to feel quite so difficult.

“Is there a problem?” Deborah lifted a single eyebrow. As waters aged, they went in one of two directions. They either became more flighty and easily distracted or they grew cold and merciless like the Arctic Ocean. She was solidly in the latter category.

I forced myself to keep moving. Deborah glared over my shoulder. My friends kept their distance, but they also matched me step for step. If I insisted on doing this, they would be with me the entire way.

“To the gurney, please.”

The thing was fitted with straps that would wrap across my shoulders, waist, thighs, and ankles.

“The Hannibal Lecter treatment isn’t necessary,” I said.

Sera’s agitation flowed around me. I sent my fire backwards and found hers, pulsing in waves. I tried sending her the message to just chill already, but her magic refused to calm.

“Precautions.”

The more twitchy lackey held up a syringe.

Bile rose in my throat. “Do you ever run out of that stuff?” I took an involuntary step backwards.

Deborah’s eyes narrowed. “You should welcome it. It’s the only way we can justify imprisonment rather than your execution.”

With Deborah’s words, a bit of Sera’s tension eased. If I was alive, there was hope.

Her words only increased my fear. Too late, I began to think the council leader might be a liar after all. She had no reason to keep me alive.

“If it’s not too much bother,” I said, keeping my eyes on the syringe, “could you remember that I’m here willingly?”

“You are here under coercion,” Deborah corrected me. “Let’s not pretend otherwise.”

I didn’t accept her logic, logical though it might be. “If I planned to destroy you, you’d already be dead. I’m in control of my power, and I have no desire to hurt any of you.”

The man holding the syringe started shaking at the reminder of what I was, but Deborah remained unaffected. “Precautions,” she repeated.

I didn’t move. There was no mercy in the woman’s eyes.

“Control means nothing.” She bit off the words. “We’ve seen cured duals before who developed a taste for killing.” Her mouth snapped shut and her eyes widened.

Michael studied the trees, searching for a good place to hide.

“You’ve… seen cured duals?” I repeated, my voice flat. “You knew there was a cure.” I sifted through my mind, grabbing at memories from the last few months and finding understanding where there’d been none before.

The council was, collectively, thousands of years old. Josiah had known about the firsts. The dozens of pets who visited the island or the Utah hilltop knew. There was absolutely no reason someone on the council wouldn’t have been aware of their existence.

Deborah and Michael had shown no surprise when they encountered the first on the island. Vivian had needed both the files on Sera’s mom and Luke’s explanation about the first to discover where Eila lived. The council had access to Josiah’s files, but not Luke’s knowledge. Those files would only make sense to someone who’d heard about first magics—and our trip to the island would only make sense if they knew firsts could heal duals.

We’d assumed Jet had found us through satellites, following us on an unknown path across the desert and ocean. No one thought to ask her if we’d assumed correctly.

The council had followed me to the island because they hoped to stop me
before
I found a cure.

I bared my teeth. “You’ve got some ’splaining to do, Deborah. How long have you known?”

Her eyes darted between my friends, and whatever she saw made her nervous. “Not long,” she insisted. That could mean anything from a week to five hundred years in elemental time.

“You can start by telling us why this isn’t common knowledge. If it was, any child of two different fulls could be healed long before the madness starts.”

Deborah’s mouth opened and closed twice without a sound escaping.

“Next, you can tell me why there’s a death sentence on all duals, instead of an offer of a cure. Encountering a first is dangerous, but it beats a guaranteed execution, doesn’t it?”

She spread her hands in supplication, begging me to listen. “Can you imagine the chaos if the existence of the first magics was common knowledge? Elementals would be desperate to see them. The creatures’ power would be unimaginable. We would lose our strongest to their hunger.”

It was a compelling argument, but I found myself uninterested in any solution that relied on secrets and half-truths and a system where knowledge was disseminated only to the most powerful.

“People should know,” I said. “They can make their own choice and, yeah, some of them will choose the wrong one. It happens every day. Hell, elementals already learn of the firsts, but they hear some ludicrous fantasy of perfect magic. If they learn it’s likely a one-way trip, a lot fewer would try to make it. Just the really stupid ones.”

“Elemental Darwinism,” Sera added.

I warmed to my argument. “The firsts may grow more powerful for a while, but they’re tethered to the land where they were born. It doesn’t matter how powerful they are if they’re trapped. Plus, I’ll bet their food sources stop seeking them out once it becomes obvious few survive those meetings. If I understand it right, if firsts aren’t fed, they cease to exist. That’s what we all want. Cured duals and no firsts. Once the firsts are gone, the cure will vanish as well, but maybe we’ll learn another way to fuse the magic by then.”