Lost and Found: Finding Hope in the Detours of Life (17 page)

Being Found

AT THE BEGINNING
of this book, I shared with you how frequently my kids’ forgotten jackets and misplaced backpacks send me to their school’s collection of lost and found items. What strikes me during these visits is that these things are both simultaneously lost
and
found. When we lose something, we only think of it as missing, absent, perhaps gone forever. But often these same things are what someone else finds and wonders about. They want to know where the item came from, whom it belongs to, and where to return it.

So often in our lives, we dwell on our lostness without remembering that God has already found us and wants to help us locate our destiny. In those times when the road is dark, the night is long, and the storm rages with unrelenting fury; when we can barely see the next step in front of our eyes, let alone the correct route to our original destination—we know we’re lost, disoriented, uncertain, and afraid. We don’t know where we are or how we’ll ever get to where we want to go.

Until we find ourselves.

It’s a funny expression, “finding ourselves.” I hear people say, “And then before I knew it, I found myself driving to the mall”—or wherever—as if they had lost awareness of themselves and their decisions before coming back and realizing where they were and what they were doing. But I think we all feel that way sometimes. Like the prodigal son coming to his senses, awakened by the stench of his own bad decisions, we find ourselves and realize where we are is not where we belong.

Then we remember the way home.

———

The chapters of my life I’ve shared with you within these pages reveal some of my darkest hours and most painful disappointments. But as a broken window acts as a prism, filtering sunlight through its cracks, I hope that you can see the many beautiful moments of color dancing within my rooms. My children bring me so much joy that sometimes I just shake my head at their antics and laugh, and then, when they’re not looking, allow the tears to well up as my heart floods with so much love for them.

More and more, I find myself looking up with newfound clarity at the Big Dipper and other constellations. I see the North Star glinting like a lighthouse made of diamonds and know I’ve found myself. I feel the wind caress my face and smell piñon and cottonwood on the Texas breeze, and my spirit overflows. Sitting in my house, the one I’ve worked so hard to purchase and furnish and infuse with love for my children, I cherish the moments when I can just relax and know that I am home.

When I speak in front of thousands of people, still nervous in my body but confident in my soul of what I have to say, I feel God holding me close to Him. I feel so grateful that sharing my story might help others. He was there all along, even those times when I kept ignoring the whisper of His voice or the detours from my pain He
provided. I never quit believing in Him, but I found it hard to believe that He could continue to care about me after all I had done. Surely He was just as disappointed in my decisions as my parents were at times. Surely He judged me with an even harsher standard than the one I used to constantly punish myself. Surely He wanted me to prove myself worthy of his love and attention the way Robert did.

Only He doesn’t. A large part of being found comes from surrendering your pride and accepting God’s grace. When your car breaks down and you’re stranded on the side of the road, would you refuse the assistance of a tow truck that stops to rescue you? Why, then, do we so often try to push the car ourselves (uphill!) when God offers to rebuild our engine?

I don’t believe we can lose our salvation. Once we have committed to Christ and experienced the grace of God, we are always found. But we do lose ourselves and lose sight of the divine destiny that God wants to reveal to us. With stubborn determination to see only what we want to see, we walk along a treacherous path until we finally fall off the cliff of pride and land on the humility of our neediness.

God always picks us up and reminds us that He has more for us. More than we can imagine. More than we can see from where we’ve fallen.

———

Of all the people who helped me during the crazy twists and turns my young life has taken so far, there’s one that I have never met in person. She’s a young woman, probably not unlike me, a minority in the society in which she ultimately found herself. She, too, had lost a husband, although it was his death that left her single and not the death of their marriage. She had nothing but was willing to do what it took to survive, even eating the leftovers she could find after others had finished. Although she didn’t have children to take care of yet, she was devoted to the care of her beloved mother-in-law.

If you’ve read my book
Colliding With Destiny
, then you know I’m talking about Ruth (and if you haven’t read it, you should!). This amazing woman knew what it meant to lose her dream, her homeland, and her hopes for the future. She could justifiably have remained at home in Moab instead of following Naomi back to Bethlehem. Based on the terrible turn of events in her life, she could’ve played the victim card and no one would’ve faulted her. Or she could’ve become bitter, like her mother-in-law.

But Ruth ventured forward with a personal resolve and a fledgling faith in the God that she had only recently met. I’m sure there must have been times when she wondered if she could really trust Him with her future. Or maybe she worried that He really didn’t care about the details of her life. But she didn’t give up.

Ruth knew that while she often felt lost, she was already found. God had found her, and she only had to catch up to Him. She was on a trajectory for triumph despite the trials that were her launching pad. When she was lonely and afraid, uncertain and confused, angry and aching, Ruth could not see the joy that was around the bend. When the cupboard echoed with emptiness almost as loud as her stomach, Ruth couldn’t imagine that she would soon find grain waiting on the ground. She could not yet see the loving husband, Boaz, and their baby son waiting up ahead of her.

Through it all Ruth kept going.

I believe she knew the secret to being found: Never give up your hope. Keep the embers of hope alive as best you can, even when the wind reduces it to a handful of sparks. Don’t allow the tears to fill your eyes to the point that you can’t see the grain on the ground in front of you. Don’t doubt the abundant, blessed grace of a Father who loves you as His precious child, who wants more for you than you can even imagine for yourself.

So much of the biblical truth that I heard as a child probably went
in one ear and out the other. But some of those seeds took root. And for me, Ruth has been a gardener of those seeds of truth in my soul. She reminds me that when the worst happens, it will get better. Even when we can’t imagine being happy again, we will.

Jesus said, “For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it” (Matthew 16:25). Sometimes we have to let go of where we think we’re going in order to discover where we’re meant to be. God shows us the way if we let Him. No matter how lost you think you are, or how many times you’ve been found and wandered off again, it’s never too late to be found again. We’re all lost and found.

And I’m living proof of that.

Sarah Jakes
is a businesswoman, writer, speaker, and media personality. She currently oversees the women’s ministry at The Potter’s House of Dallas, a multicultural, nondenominational church and humanitarian organization led by her parents, Bishop T.D. Jakes and Mrs. Serita Jakes. In addition to her duties at The Potter’s House, Sarah periodically serves as host of
The Potter’s
Touch
, a daily inspirational broadcast airing on several national television networks.

Prior to joining the staff at The Potter’s House, Sarah worked with TDJ Enterprises, where she was responsible for grassroots marketing efforts for the feature film
Not Easily
Broken
.

After graduating from high school at the age of sixteen in the top 10 of her class and in the top 10 percent of the nation, Sarah attended Texas Christian University, where she studied journalism. She regularly blogs at sarahjakes.com on love, life, and family and aspires to write articles and books that chronicle the lives of young people who have overcome extreme challenges to reach their goals in life.

When she is not pursuing her career endeavors, Sarah enjoys cooking, listening to music, and spending quality time with her two children.