Lord Protector (12 page)

The door burst open and Kerra entered, her eyes filled with concern. Spotting the Regent, she composed herself, brushed at her pale blue silk skirts and walked more sedately towards Chiana.

"Are you all right?"

Chiana forced a brittle smile. "I should be happy. I am happy, but I am also angry. Why does he come here now? After years of avoiding me, when I will not see him, he comes back."

"Perhaps he has had a change of heart?"

She snorted. "He does not have a heart."

"Maybe he wants to see you."

"I doubt that."

"Then it must have something to do with the woman he brought with him. Who do you think she might be?"

Chiana's smile softened. "I have no idea, but at least I know she is not his mistress. Yet I wish I did have to worry about that. Strange, is it not?"

"No. But there is something to be said for a man who will never be unfaithful to you."

Chiana turned away to hide the pain in her eyes. "Indeed. I once asked your mother if she did not resent the fact that he held her in no high regard, and she told me she could not, since he held no one else in high regard either. It is small consolation, however."

Kerra joined her at the window, watching an elderly gardener planting flowers in a bed below. "Will you see him?"

Chiana hesitated, pleating her plain black linen skirt. "If he requests it, not otherwise."

"I shall send for him. I want to know why he is here too, and who the woman is."

Chiana nodded. "Wait a while. He will still be in his bath."

"I doubt Blade will hurry his bath to accommodate me." Kerra bit her lip, watching the gardener work. "What will it take, do you suppose, to earn his respect?"

"I do not know. Your mother was the only person who seemed able to command it most of the time. Yet even she considered him impertinent and ill mannered. It is a pity you did not have the opportunity to learn from her."

Kerra looked thoughtful. "Do you wish to see him?"

"More than anything. But I dread it too. The way he looks at me..." She shivered and rubbed her arms. "It is like being impaled with icicles."

Kerra put a hand on Chiana's arm, and the Regent covered it with her own, smiling as she said, "You have certainly grown up a lot since you first met him. Perhaps it is only a matter of time. One day, out of the blue, he may address you as his queen. That would be so like Blade. You just have to be patient."

"He taught me that when we were together." She smiled. "Those memories I shall always treasure."

Chiana sighed. "As I treasure what few memories I have with him. Love is a terrible burden when it is not returned."

"But he said..."

"Those words, though precious, do not compensate for his complete lack of affection. They keep me alive and give me some small measure of happiness, but I long for more. And that, my dear, I shall never receive."

"You are resigned to that, then?"

"What choice do I have?"

Kerra squeezed Chiana's arm. "Perhaps he will surprise you, too."

"I once hoped so, but now I doubt it."

Blade was lacing his shirt, still damp and warm from his bath, when the Queen's supper invitation arrived. He donned one of his less garish suits, since his leather clothes were dirty. The short black suede jacket's sleeves and collar were picked out with silver embroidery, and his white linen shirt was tucked into trousers that bore the same pattern on the seam from waist to knee.

Arken, who stood ready to help if required, beamed his approval when the assassin had finished and stepped forward to brush and tug, as was his habit. Blade shook him off and headed for the door, leaving the servant to tidy the room.

When he arrived at the Queen's quarters, a handmaiden showed him into the sitting area. Kerra reclined on a mound of satin cushions, clad in a royal blue velvet gown sewn with cyan panels edged with gold thread, her hair swept up in an elaborate, pearl-sprinkled coif. Diamonds adorned her neck and sparkled on her ears and fingers. She reminded him of her mother, especially with the regal way she tilted her head and the cool smile she bestowed upon him. He smiled and sat on the cushion she indicated with a wave.

"My Lord Conash."

"Kerra."

"It is good to see you again, and in good health."

Blade waved away the tray of sweetmeats a handmaiden offered, but accepted the cup of wine the next girl brought. Kerra picked up a cup of tea from the tray before her and sipped it, studying him.

"I know you will not ask, so I shall tell you that Chiana is well."

"I intend to see for myself."

"Oh? You are going to visit her?"

"Yes."

"For what reason?"

He shook his head. "I do not have to explain myself to you."

"No, but it would be polite. I am concerned for her happiness, and I do not wish her to be upset."

"I am not going to upset her."

"Just seeing you will upset her."

He shrugged, sipping his wine. "I cannot be held responsible for that. It is not my intention."

"Why have you returned to the palace?"

"I have business here."

"The woman you brought with you?"

He nodded. "Amongst other things."

"Who is she?"

"None of your business."

Kerra pouted, then caught herself and composed her features into the regal expression that Minna-Satu had taught her. "I suppose not."

The assassin sipped his wine and glanced away. His eyes came to rest on Myasha, who dozed on his perch. Kerra bit into a pastry, brushing the crumbs from her chin as she studied him again.

"My spies tell me that you have slain the Cotti assassin."

"Yes."

"Do you know who sent him?"

"Dravis."

Kerra nodded. "As I suspected. Tell me what happened."

"I slit his throat."

"This will be a dull evening indeed if you are not prepared to be more forthcoming, My Lord."

He smiled and made a vicious, slashing gesture across his throat. "I sliced it open, like this."

"That is not what I meant, and well you know it. How did you find him? Where did you confront him? Did the soldiers help?"

Blade leant back as the food arrived, eyeing the Queen. The maidens laid out platters of succulent grilled fowl, roast sucking pig, spiced cray bird eggs, buttered delgreens and boiled patotals on the low table before them. He cast his gaze over the selection of delicacies, then filled his plate from those platters he liked. Kerra did the same, and found, at the end of it, that her plate was more laden than his.

Blade gave a terse account of the Cotti assassin's demise, with disparaging remarks about the soldiers Chiana had sent. Kerra listened to his soft, husky voice while she gazed at him. To her annoyance, she felt privileged to be in his company, when it should have been the other way around. When he pushed aside his plate and sat back, wiping his mouth with a napkin, she tilted her head and smiled at him.

"So, if you will not tell me who this woman is, will you tell me why you have brought her to court?"

"I intend to find a position for her here."

"What has she done to earn such a favour from you?"

He shrugged. "Nothing."

"Then why -"

"It is not your concern. Prying into my business should be beneath you." Blade picked up his wine cup.

"She is a commoner. She can only work here as a servant."

"A certain Viscount Jaraba is now indebted to me. He will do as I wish."

"I see. I hesitate to ask what you did to earn such favour with a noble."

"I did not kill anyone for it."

Kerra eyed him. "I thought you would have retired by now."

"I intend to, soon."

"How long will you remain at court this time?"

He shrugged. "Until my business is concluded."

"And did you come here only to find a position for your charge?"

"No."

"So you also have business with Chiana? Or do you merely wish to see her?"

He sipped his wine and smiled. "That is between she and I."

Kerra frowned and looked away, disliking her intense curiosity about him and all he did. He was correct, and she resented him for it. "You are rude, My Lord. It is a wonder you command such respect from people whom you treat like dirt."

He chuckled. "It is, isn't it?"

"You think them fools."

"Most of them are."

"Including Chiana?"

He frowned. "Leave her out of it."

"So you do not think her a fool?"

"That is none of your concern either."

"I do not approve of your treatment of her, and I have told her that she should continue to refuse to see you."

"Indeed?" He sipped his wine. "And what did she say?"

"She will not, of course."

"Of course. She fears that if she does, I will grow tired of her rancour and annul our marriage. She does not wish to lose her status as my wife. Nor will she give up her hope of finding sympathy from me."

"You are cruel, My Lord. She bears you no rancour. I have seen her sadness at your neglect."

"Of course, she also wants to own me completely. Is that not every wife's ambition?"

"Is that what you believe?" Kerra demanded, shocked.

"Naturally she wants something back after wearing her heart on her sleeve for fifteen years. She must be the object of popular pity, while I am the villain of the saga. But I never wanted a wife. It was her idea to wed me, and she knew what she was getting when she did it."

"That explains your callous attitude towards her, but I assure you, you are wrong."

He sighed and leant forward to refill his goblet. "I do not care, in truth. And I tire of people trying to tell me how to live my life. Change the subject, or I shall bid you goodnight."

Kerra glared at him. Had it been anyone else, she would have ordered them to leave, but she set aside her annoyance.

Chapter Nine

Blade waited two days before he visited his wife. At his request, Viscount Jaraba's wife employed Embeth and took her away for instruction. He declined another dinner invitation from Kerra, and the atmosphere in the palace took on an air of anticipation. There were no rumours that Chiana's father was ill, but Blade did not doubt the accuracy of Shamsara's prediction, and the moon was almost up. Suspecting that if he did ask to see her, Chiana would keep him waiting outside her doors for a time, he decided to take the unofficial route.

That night, after all but the guards had retired, he left his room through the window and scaled the rough stone to Chiana's balcony. Slipping into the darkness of her rooms, he walked through the sitting area to her bedroom. The Regent lay tangled in her sheets as if she fought demons in her sleep. He gazed down at her, all his training and experience at odds with waking her. He had lost count of the number of bed chambers he had stolen into over the years, and how many sleeping faces he had seen before he had ended their lives. The fact that to him she was as vulnerable as any other person was a testament to his skills, but one that gave him no pleasure.

Chiana sighed and squirmed, then her brow puckered as she plucked at the sheets and tossed, muttering. He wondered what terrible images haunted her dreams. Her hands crept to her chest, and she gasped, her face twisted with anguish. Blade frowned as he realised that she relived her familiar's death, just as he had dreamt of Rivan's for so many years. He stepped closer, then froze in surprise when she whispered his name in a desperate, pleading tone. She cried it again, and he sat beside her and touched her hand. Chiana's eyes flew open, and she stared up at him with a frightened, uncertain expression.

Deducing that she could not make out his features clearly in the dimness, he leant closer and whispered, "It is Blade."

She stared at him for a moment longer, then flung her arms around his waist and buried her face in his chest. Taken by surprise, he patted her shoulder.

"You came... This time you came," she whispered. "Every night I have that dream and call out to you. I thought you were a ghost at first."

A couple of tart rejoinders leapt into his mind, but instead he murmured, "Yes, I am here."

"I have missed you."

"I did not think my company was so pleasurable."

She sighed and held him tighter. "Much as you strive to be obnoxious, you do not always succeed."

"Huh. I thought I was quite good at it."

She released him and lay back, gazing at him. "Light the lamp."

He reached for the tinderbox beside the bed. "I am not very good with these things."

After a few misses, he succeeded in setting spark to wick, squinting as the flame brightened. When he had put the glass on the lamp, he found Chiana studying him.

"Why have you come back?"

He hesitated. "Did you not want me to?"

"Of course, but I thought it would be easier for both of us if we did not see each other again. You do not like to be around me, and that makes it difficult for me to be with you."

"I do not dislike your company, Chiana. It is just..." He tried to stand up, but she grabbed his sleeve, forcing him to either remain seated or shake her off. He sank down again, frowning at the lamp.

"It is difficult for me. I have been alone for most of my life. I am accustomed to it now."

Her eyes roamed over his face, and she seemed to be waiting for him to continue. "You expect me to believe that? I have seen you enjoying the company of others. You spent time-glasses drinking with Lirek and Jayon in the cellars, and you habituate inns full of people. Tell the truth, for once in your life. You cannot stand the sight of me. You never wanted a wife, and never will. You resent the fact that Minna-Satu forced you to marry me, and you want to make me suffer for it."

He frowned, then jerked free and jumped up, walked away a few paces and swung to face her again. "Yes, I did once. Perhaps I still do."

"You do. I see it in your eyes, and that is why I did not want to see you. I would rather keep the memory of that brief moment of pity you had for me than to be reminded of the burden I am to you."