Looking At Forever (The Rock Gods Book 4) (32 page)

Wheland’s heart sank. “Jesus Christ, that’s why you’re a chairperson for all the LGBTQ charities,” he said.

Trina nodded. “We do events every year in Carlson’s name as a way to honor his memory and to bring awareness to suicide prevention. In addition to that, I help other charities with a focus on gay teens. They have the highest rate for suicide, you know. The numbers are staggering. I’m trying to create safe places around the country where these teenagers can go to get help, support, and information; whatever it is they need. I couldn’t help Carlson, but if I can save one kid from going through what Carlson did, I’d be very happy.”

Wheland leaned forward and cradled Trina’s hands in his. “I’m so sorry, Trina. I had no idea.”

“You had no way of knowing about Carlson,” Trina said. “He was a good kid and it breaks my heart that I wasn’t able to stop him from doing it. None of us had any idea the bullying was as bad as it was. He left a note detailing how he could no longer cope with his life and had to escape the pain and suffering. He also asked us not to hate him for taking his life. Can you imagine that? We could never have hated him. He was beautiful, just the way he was.”

Trina blinked and sent two heavy tears rolling down her cheeks. Wheland used his thumb to catch them.

“He sounds like he was an amazing kid,” Wheland said.

“He kind of looked like you,” she said, and shrugged. Silence fell between them. Wheland continued to rub his thumbs across the backs of her hands. “Were you ever bullied for being gay?” Trina asked him.

Wheland dropped Trina’s hands and sat back in his seat.

“I’m sorry. That was probably too personal for me to ask,” Trina said.

“No, it’s fine,” Wheland said. The real question was how he answered it and have it make sense. “I was late to the gay party,” Wheland finally said.

“What do you mean?” Trina asked.

“I was with women most of my adult life,” Wheland said. “Too many to count, really, and none of them made me feel much of anything. A few years ago I started messing around with a couple of guys, and for the first time in my life things started to feel normal. There weren’t a lot of men and out of those few only one of them mattered.”

“The guy in L.A.?” Trina asked.

“Yeah, he’s the one,” Wheland said. “He was the final piece that snapped into place. He made everything make sense and feel right.”

“Do you love him?” Trina asked.

“Very much,” Wheland said. “When I look at him I see forever and I know that sounds cliché, but it’s the truth.”

“Think you’ll get married?” Trina asked.

Wheland chuckled. “It’s a little early to think about that, but we’ll see what happens.”

“Oh, I thought you two had been together a while,” Trina said. “At least it seems that way.”

Wheland shook his head. “He’s a musician like me. Over the years, our paths have crossed many times,” Wheland said. “I always thought he was a good looking man, but never thought much beyond that. I was also swimming in an ocean of denial back then, too. Then, last fall we bumped in to each other again and things just clicked. It was like all the planets aligned for us or some crazy shit like that.”

“Sounds amazing,” Trina said.

“How about you?” Wheland asked. “Are you married or something?”

“Divorced,” Trina said. “No kids, yet, but I’d like to have a few one day. I need to find the right man first.” Trina smirked at Wheland. “Maybe you could introduce me to someone?”

“Are you in to rockers?” Wheland asked, with one eyebrow raised. “Because they’re the only guys I see on a regular basis.”

“Lincoln is kinda cute,” Trina said.

“Linc? I’m not even sure if he’s straight,” Wheland said.

Trina laughed. “You do seem to be surrounded by a lot of gay men.”

“Gay and bi,” Wheland said.

“Do you consider yourself to be bisexual?” Trina asked.

“No, I don’t. I know I told you I’ve been with a lot of women, but it never felt like it does when I’m with Rooster. It goes way beyond the physical and that’s why I consider myself to be gay.”

“That makes sense,” Trina said. She sighed loudly, exaggerating the sound. “It’s nearly impossible to find a nice guy these days, because all the decent ones seem to be gay.”

“Well, I mainly hang with musicians and a large percentage of them are gay, so I’m probably not the best person to try and fix you up with someone,” Wheland said.

“Yeah, I know,” Trina said. “It was merely wishful thinking on my part.”

Wheland fell silent. He had one more question to ask Trina, something that had been bothering him since the beginning of the tour, but he wasn’t sure how happy she’d be to answer it. They finally seemed to be getting to a point of accepting each other. Did he really want to risk starting another fight with her?

“What’s on your mind, Mick?” Trina asked.

He didn’t like her using his first name, only because it was now a privilege reserved for Rooster, but Trina was family.

“When you agreed to work with Alex on this tour, did you do it to make our paths cross?” Wheland finally asked.

Trina slowly nodded. “You know, we’ve both lost so much in our lives,” Trina said. “I was hopeful we might be able to reconcile some of our differences after all these years had passed. I wasn’t prepared for your hostility that first night, but I’m glad we’re able to talk now.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry about that, Trina,” Wheland said. “It’s just a seriously dark part of my life and I don’t like talking about it with anyone. Never mind, having my half-sister force me to look at it.”

“I wasn’t trying to force anything on you,” Trina said.

“I know, but I saw you with Alex that night and panicked,” Wheland said. “Since that night, I’ve told the two people I felt deserved to know about my past, and my connection to you, and that’s all that matters. It’s good, Trina. We can work with this and maybe stay in touch after this tour is over?”

“I’d really like that,” Trina said. “Maybe next time I see you I’ll bring photographs of my brother and sister.”

“That would be good,” Wheland smiled broadly. “Let’s make that happen. I’ll give you all my contact information before the tour is over.”

Trina smiled and stood up from her seat and Wheland did the same. Nervously she stepped into Wheland’s personal space and offered him a hug. The hesitation on Wheland’s part was minimal and soon he was offering Trina an embrace of his own.

Maybe having some kind of blood related family wasn’t half-bad after all.

Chapter Twenty-Six

Their sold-out shows began to run together. None of them holding much significance, although Wheland was more than satisfied with his playing. Since his chat with Jayson, Cooper and Jayson’s relationship seemed to be back on very solid ground. Wheland was happy about that because at the end of the day, Jayson was made for Cooper and vice versa.

Watching them together was beautiful; even if he probably shouldn’t have been paying attention some of the time. It wasn’t as blatant as it with Dante and the groupie, but Wheland still had his suspicions Jayson and Cooper wanted him to watch. That thought had him remembering the bus ride two nights earlier and the show Cooper and Jayson gave to him.

Wheland was sitting at the kitchen table by himself that night. Alex, Chase, and Danni occupied the bedroom and Tony and Jared as usual were parked on the couch together playing a video game. Jayson and Cooper were sharing the middle bunk together. There were six bunk beds stacked three on top of each other on both sides of the center aisle. The beds inside the bunk compartment were barely big enough to hold one adult man, never mind two. The only way they were managing was if they were lying on top of each other, which is exactly what he suspected was happening.

He saw the privacy curtain moving first, fluttering from motion but not from the sway of the bus on the road. This movement was coming from within. It was followed by a bare leg sticking out up to the shin, and then a pair of jeans fell to the floor. The curtain slid back further revealing Cooper on top of Jayson. Both were bare chested with an endless, passionate kiss floating between them. When Cooper pulled off Jayson’s mouth, he began to kiss his way over Jayson’s neck and shoulder.

“You know I can see you, right?” Wheland said to Cooper.

“If the visual offends you, then move,” Cooper said.

As if to prove a point, Cooper jerked the curtain almost entirely open after that. Wheland could now see they were both completely naked with groins grinding against each other. Cooper’s mouth continued to move south and Wheland was left to make a decision. He could go sit in the living room with Tony and Jared or he could hop up into one of the other empty bunks, close the curtain, and attempt to sleep. He was about to step into the living room when his phone buzzed with an incoming text from Rooster.

“Hey babe. What’s going on?”
Rooster’s message read.

“We’re on the bus heading south. So is Cooper,”
Wheland typed back.

“Meaning??”
Rooster asked.

“Meaning Cooper and Jayson are about to give me a show,”
Wheland replied.

Wheland wasn’t sure what the pause from Rooster meant, but again, he didn’t want secrets like this to come out later and piss Rooster off even more than if he’d known about it when it actually happened.

“I was moving into the living room to get away from it when you texted,”
Wheland typed.

“I thought you liked watching?”
Rooster replied.

Wheland smiled at Rooster’s comment. Rooster had a very dirty mind and that was just one of many things Wheland loved about the man. When it came to sex, they were both very much of the same mind.

“Watching them would only make my dick ache for you,”
Wheland typed.

“I love it when you ache for me.”
Rooster said.

Cooper had shifted lower, feathering kisses all over Jayson’s chest and stomach. Cooper’s mouth covered Jayson’s hip and Jayson’s fingers laced through the long waves of Cooper’s hair holding the back of his head. Wheland couldn’t pull his eyes away. It was the buzz of his phone again that forced Wheland to look at his cell to read Rooster’s next message.

“What am I missing?”
Rooster asked.

Wheland’s eyes darted to Cooper and Jayson in the bunk. Cooper had dropped another few inches and Jayson’s cock bounced in to view. Wheland cursed softly and Cooper looked over at him.

“Like what you see?” Cooper asked Wheland.

“Rooster is bigger,” Wheland said to Cooper and smirked.

Wheland went back to his phone and typed,
“Cooper just displayed Jayson’s cock to me. Nice, but still nowhere near as impressive as yours.”

“Mmmm, feeding my ego. I like it.
Is Jayson getting his cock sucked?”
Rooster messaged.

“He is, and it looks like he’s enjoying it, too. A lot,”
Wheland responded.

“What guy wouldn’t?”
Rooster typed.

Wheland heard Jayson moan and looked over at them again. Cooper had turned himself around a bit to fit beside Jayson better, but in doing so, Wheland could see everything Cooper was doing to Jayson. He could also see Jayson’s incredible cock. He wasn’t lying to Cooper when he said Rooster’s cock overall was bigger than Jayson’s, but Jayson’s was beautifully shaped and sized.

Wheland’s dick began to plump at the sight of Cooper’s mouth bobbing on Jayson’s thickness. If that wasn’t enough visual torture, seeing Cooper’s tongue licking at Jayson’s slit and the sexual sounds coming from Jayson... it was all too much. Without thinking, Wheland’s hand dropped to his lap; his palm rubbing against his cock.

“Are they still going at it?”
Rooster asked.

“Fuck, yes. I need to move to another room,”
Wheland messaged.

“Why would you do that?”
Rooster asked.

“Because I’m rock hard now and watching them drives home the point that I’m alone,”
Wheland typed.

“Why not give them a show?”
Rooster asked.

“What kind of show are you suggesting?”
Wheland asked.

“Pull your cock out and stroke it while you’re watching them,”
Rooster suggested.

“Are you serious?”
Wheland asked.

“It’s a win-win. You’re annoyed they’re doing that in front of you. Them being able to see you jerk-off might annoy them, but at least you’d get off,”
Rooster said.

“You’re crazy,”
Wheland typed.

“And you’re horny. I see no harm,”
Rooster replied.

Wheland glanced behind him. Tony and Jared were still heavily involved with their video game and oblivious to what was happening in the kitchen where he was sitting. He palmed his erection again. He really did need an orgasm.

“Are you stroking yourself?”
Rooster asked.

“No,”
Wheland said.

“Why not?”
Rooster asked.

“Feels weird,”
Wheland replied.

“But, you want to, don’t you?”
Rooster asked.

“I’m thinking about it. They obviously don’t care I can see them, so why should I give a shit? They probably won’t even notice I’m jerking-off,”
Wheland typed.

“Unzip your pants,”
Rooster suggested.

Wheland read Rooster’s last statement. It wasn’t like he hadn’t done shit like this with Cooper before, but now they were both in committed relationships. It felt weird to be doing this while watching Cooper. Even still, their little sideshow had him really worked up. Far as he saw it, he had two choices. He’d either beat-off now or he’d be doing it later once they got to the next hotel. No other way around it now.

Wheland slouched lower on the bench seat at the table. He unbuttoned his jeans and pulled down the zipper, then pushed the front of his boxer briefs down until his cock sprang free. He gripped it quickly and squeezed, watching a drop of pre-come form at the slit.

“Are you doing it?”
Rooster asked.

Wheland let go of his cock and messaged Rooster back,
“I can’t type and jerk at the same time. I’ll be back in a minute.”

“Prop up the phone and Face Time me. I want to watch, too,”
Rooster said.

“You kinky bastard! Give me a sec,”
Wheland typed.

Wheland made the proper adjustments to his phone and set it off to the side of him to allow Rooster to see part of Wheland and also Cooper and Jayson. Then he got comfortable and gripped his shaft again. He gave himself one tight stroke and his eyes darted to Cooper and Jayson. Wheland’s face flushed red when he realized they were both watching him. Cooper’s mouth popped off of Jayson’s dick.

“That’s hot,” Cooper said. “Nice to know we turned you on that much.”

Jayson pressed his hand against the back of Cooper’s head and settled Cooper’s mouth back onto his dick. There was no more pretending not to be watching each other. They were openly taking pleasure in the fact they were being watched.

Wheland opened up pants wider, sliding them a little lower onto his hips. He pulled his ball sac up and rolled it around in one hand while the other hand stroked his leaking cock. Wheland saw Cooper’s hand go between his legs to work on his own cock and Jayson started thrusting up into Cooper’s mouth.

It was a maddening flurry of movement between the three of them as they watched each other. Wheland’s hips were lifting off the seat to fuck his fist. It felt so good, he knew he wasn’t going to last.

“Oh, fuck!” Jayson said.

Jayson’s head rolled into the pillow and his eyes closed. Cooper finished him by slipping a finger between his legs. Wheland didn’t need to see where it went to know what he was doing and Jayson moaned loudly when Cooper’s finger hit its target. Five seconds later, Jayson released into Cooper’s mouth. Watching Jayson blow apart at the seams pushed Wheland over. He thrust once more into his fist and blew his load; catching it with his other hand before it sprayed the tabletop. When Wheland looked over at Cooper and Jayson, Cooper was finishing himself off and shot his seed across Jayson’s lower belly.

Behind Wheland he heard Tony’s cheers as he won another game. Wheland slid out from behind the table, holding his jeans up with one hand and stepped in to the bathroom. He washed the come off his hands, then tucked himself back into place before returning to the kitchen. As he walked by Cooper and Jayson’s bunk he noticed they were back to cuddling and sharing soft kisses.

Wheland grabbed his cell phone from the table and walked into the living room. He sat down in a high-backed leather chair that swiveled and put his phone back into text message mode.

“Well, that was messy,”
Wheland typed.

“It looked it... for all of you,”
Rooster said.

“Did you see all of us get off?”
Wheland asked.

“Pretty much. It was a great show. Do you feel any better?”
Rooster asked.

“I do. How about you?”
Wheland asked.

“Much better,”
Rooster said.

“I can’t believe you’re okay with that,”
Wheland typed.

“What do you mean?”
Rooster asked.

“You don’t get jealous?”
Wheland asked.

“I don’t mind you looking... or them looking, as long as there’s no touching. I wouldn’t be okay with anyone having their hands on you. I’d have to draw the line at that,”
Rooster said.

“No touching, babe. I save that for you,”
Wheland typed.