Long Slow Burn (13 page)

Come on, Kim.
The wine had made her romanticize him.

Another blink and he was grinning again, back to the easy fun Nathan she lo—

Really liked.

“I'm going to go home and process that, but I don't want it to ruin our date.”

“Our
date?
”

He rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I just said we were friends to put you off guard so I could try something. Come on, Kim, you know me better than that by now.”

“Okay, okay.” She laughed at his teasing, relieved at the release of tension, but not yet able to banish that momentary glimpse of Nathan the Man.

“Anyone ever tell you you're bristly like a porcupine, Miss Kimberly Charlotte?”

“Hedgehog. Porcupines have quills.”

“For crying out loud.” He offered her another cookie, took a bite of it when she shook her head. “Tell me what it is about the Carter proposal that's holding you up.”

“Ugh.” She fell back onto her elbows, admiring the view of the lake reaching out for the horizon. “It's a mess. You don't want to hear about it.”

“I actually do. For reasons that might surprise you.”

“Such as?”

“I'm betting…” He narrowed his eyes thoughtfully, gesturing at her with the cookie. “That you want it too much.”

She nodded, surprised and buoyed by his perceptiveness. “Creativity is such a tricky beast. I'm trying to force it because this matters so much to me, because my company and career rest on whether I make this or not, and because there's a deadline in a week. I don't have any leisure or relaxing time to play with it, to have fun, which is when I do my best work.”

He stopped chewing, then resumed more slowly. “Interesting. Why don't you try de-emphasizing the importance?”

She snorted. “Right. Who cares if everything I've worked for over the past five years turns to crap?”

“That's not what I meant.” He closed the cooler, moved it out of their way and leaned back beside her. She didn't mind. It felt relaxed and right. “You have other options, besides despair and ruin. It's not a question of all or nothing.”

Kim took a deep breath. “True. But it all got more complicated today.”

She told him about Soka's offer, how important a move like that could be for her career, reputation and skills.

He frowned. “I thought you weren't happy there.”

“Life isn't only about being happy all the time.” Kim cringed. She sounded just like her mother.

“Yes it is. Screw Soka. Screw Carter. There are other companies out there. This is self-created stress based on some completely random idea of age thirty having to be some turning point in your life.”

“Yes.” She moved restlessly. “That's true.”

“Let it go. Say to hell with all of it. Who cares? Find the joy in your work again. I'll be your caveman.” He jabbed a thumb into his chest. “I'll get fish for our table and shoot things for you. We'll make it work, and be happy even if you don't get Carter, even if Charlotte's Web goes belly-up.”

He was talking nonsense. They weren't a couple, they were roommates for a few weeks. And yet…while he was talking this nonsense, Kim felt as if some of the crushing weight of the world had been lifted from her shoulders.

“Maybe you're right. Maybe it would help to lighten up.”

“Just being out here today will help. Refill your ‘well' as all the creativity gurus say.” He pulled the wine back out of the cooler and offered it to her. “And when all else fails, get a buzz on.”

She giggled, tipped the bottle up, passed it back, not minding when their shoulders met and stayed pressed together. Not minding at all. She felt light and elated, and the mood had way too little to do with the wine. Nathan was a good guy. He'd listened and treated her problems with care and respect.

She flashed to the evening she'd spent with Dale, remembering how he sometimes ignored her interjections, how he hadn't wanted to hear about her work for Carter the first time around, how he'd listened absently when she brought it up again, trying to make it clear how important the job was to her. He'd taken her hands across the table, saying,
“You can do it, Kim. I believe in you.” Then he'd changed the subject. She'd felt nothing but the weight of another set of expectations.

Movement caught her eye. A woman jogging on the beach, in a black exercise bra and tiny black shorts that exposed her waist. Her full breasts bounced with each step, her ponytail swung. She had a flawless muscled body that would look at home in the Olympics.

Beside Kim, Nathan became unnaturally still. She didn't have to look to know his eyes were following each stride, each swing, each bounce.

The jogger passed; Nathan's head turned, following her progress. Not a single jiggle was evident in her butt or thighs as she ran away from them up the beach.

Beside him, Kim felt utterly invisible. “Not leopard printed, but a thrill, huh?”

Nathan started, jerked his eyes guiltily away. “No, I was thinking…I mean, I wasn't thinking what you think I was—”

“Ha.” She nudged him teasingly, nauseated from the wine. At least that's what she told herself was making her stomach sink and churn. “Relax. I get it. She was gorgeous.”

He turned toward her. “Yes, but— No, I wasn't—”

“Don't worry.” She put a maternal hand to his cheek, then wished she hadn't, when the stubbled strength of his jaw felt so masculine under her palm and fingers. “You can't help it. I get that.”

“Right. I can't help it.” He fell back on the comforter with a sound of total exasperation, then mumbled something she didn't bother asking him to repeat.

The woman's timing had been perfect. If Nathan had exhibited any more of that sweet, sensitive side, Kim could have been in trouble. But she knew what she wanted in a man, and she had seen a glimpse of that when Dale looked into her eyes and said, “When I'm in love, all other women cease to exist.”

That's what she wanted. And even if it turned out Dale
wasn't the man for her, which she was seriously starting to wonder, in her search going forward, she wouldn't settle for anything less.

F
ROWNING
, K
IM CHANGED
the red teapot from the red table to the blue one, absorbed in the creative process. She'd tried hard this week while Dale was out of town again to take Nathan's advice and get out of her own way, designwise. Whether or not it had worked, she wasn't sure, but she did feel that old excited buzz of being onto something good with this latest idea. It had come to her a few days earlier, as ideas often did for some reason she'd never figured out, while she was in the shower.

She'd found online pictures of fabulously funky circular tables in bright colors, each with a central chrome leg leading to a matching, smaller circle on the floor. On a series of those tables in different vibrant colors, Kim had arranged the new Carter2 table settings: china, stemware and flatware sometimes echoing the table color, sometimes contrasting. The effect was eye-catching, elegant and hip, exactly what she was after.

Was it good enough to stand out among the bids Carter was likely to receive? She wasn't convinced. However, with entries due on Monday, four days away, she didn't have a whole lot of time to fuss. At least she'd finally hit on the right feel, and the Carter execs would be able to see Charlotte's Web Design's work. If not this job, maybe another…

She heard Nathan's key in the apartment door lock and
glanced at her watch. Whoa. She'd been at this for hours. No wonder her shoulders felt as if they'd turned to cement. Usually she was good about remembering to take breaks and stretch.

“Hey, Kim.”

She saved her document, pushed back her chair and wandered into the living room, eager to see him. Since their kayaking trip, she and Nathan had settled into real friendship, which she hoped would help prove to him that women could be part of his life without the hunt and capture mentality. He was spending more time at home and dedicating more hours to his thesis. Maybe he'd taken her remarks to heart about focusing his life, as she'd taken his about her approach to the Carter project.

“Hi, Nathan. How was work?”

“It was work.” He held up two white paper bags. “I brought back dinner and a movie.”

“Oh, what a good man.” She yawned and raised her arms high. “I could use a break and I'm not sure there's anything in the pantry but a can of tuna and some pasta.”

“I brought health food.” In the kitchen, he opened the bags and unloaded burgers, fries and take-out frozen custard from Culver's, her favorite stand.

“Yum!” She picked up the DVD he'd put on the table.
Echoes.
She'd never heard of it. “What's the movie?”

“A recommendation from a friend. I haven't seen it.” He stacked the take-out containers of custard and put them in the freezer. “Supposed to be very artsy.”

“Really.” She examined the cover dubiously. A couple in a rather provocative clinch, their nakedness hidden by darkness except for the smooth curves of shoulders and thighs. “Well, I guess we'll find out.”

“I'm game if you are.”

“Sure.” She snitched a fry and chewed ravenously. “Mmm. The ideal thing following an entire day spent sitting in one place—ten thousand calories.”

“Your brain burned at least that many.” He brushed her
bangs aside and pointed to her forehead. “There, right there. Telltale scorch marks.”

She laughed, still uneasy around him physically. That part, the undeniable attraction, she hadn't been able to conquer completely. Since Dale had calmed down and become less flowery and more normal in his emails, she'd tried to channel all that energy into hope that something could work with him.

“You want to eat first or get right to the movie?” he asked.

“How about burgers here, custard during the showing?”

“Good plan.” He opened the refrigerator, pulled out a bottle of Heineken. “Beer?”

“Sure. I'm too burned out to do any more work today.” She took the bottle after he opened it for her and gulped down a long swig. “Your advice has really helped, Nathan. I'm making progress. Not quite there, but nearly. And I'm almost having fun.”

“I'm glad.” He opened his beer. “I'm trying to apply the same principles toward working on my thesis.”

“And?” She was excited for him. If he could get that done, it would be a huge load off his shoulders.

“Some progress.” He held up his bottle. “We're celebrating tonight.”

“Who is?” She sat at the table, pulling a burger toward her.

“You and me. It's our anniversary. A month and three days of living together.”

She laughed and waited until he sat to clink bottles with him. “How about that. Here's to our anniversary, Nathan.”

He clinked, picked up his burger and started unwrapping. “You know, I bought you a gift. Very, very expensive jewelry. Unfortunately, I lost it.”

“Oh, gosh, how ironic.” She balled up her wrapper and tossed it into the garbage. “I bought you a Lexus, but it crashed on the way to the dealer.”

“Ooh, tough luck.” He took an enormous bite of his burger,
which looked so delicious that she took an enormous bite of hers, too.

“Mmm.”

He shoved a fry into his half-full mouth. “Mmm-
hmm.
”

Good idea. Kim copied him happily, thinking how terrified she'd been opposite Dale that sauce would drip off her fork or she'd drop food in her lap. How long before she got to a place with him where she could be completely comfortable like this? Maybe they'd get closer on their date tomorrow, since Kim would be going without makeup, dressed down, the way he wanted her. Though actually, she'd kind of gotten used to seeing herself in the mirror with a few minimal cosmetic touch-ups, and liked the change.

Nathan's cell rang; he reached into his pocket, checked the display and put the phone back. “Steve.”

“Don't want to talk to him?”

“He's going out tonight. Wants company.”

“And?” She ate another fry. “We can watch the movie another night.”

“I'm not up for any more nights like that. At least not with him.”

“Why?”

He shrugged. “Doesn't interest me anymore.”

“Did you tell him?”

Nathan lowered his hamburger. “Are you suggesting I share my feelings?”

“D'oh!” She smacked her fist on her forehead. “What was I thinking?”

“I'll share them with you instead. I'm no longer interested in anonymous sexual contact.”

“Wow.” She was so surprised she put her burger down. “Why not?”

“Because I'm…” He glanced toward the window, then back toward her, obviously nervous. “No longer interested.”

Kim snorted. “That's fact, not feelings.”

“Okay.” He set his face in concentration. “What I'm feeling is…”

Kim waited. “Ye-e-s?”

“A need.”

“Okay.” She nodded encouragingly. “A need. For something besides anonymous sex.”

“Yes.” He met her gaze, his dazzlingly serious; her heart reached out to him.

“You can tell me. It's totally safe.”

He nodded solemnly. “I need…custard.”

Gotcha.
Again. Kim rolled her eyes. “Okay, okay, I get it. Women share feelings, men share facts. Let's have custard and watch the movie.”

“See how easy that is?” He got up and went to the freezer, thumped their frozen custard servings down with a flourish. “Voilà. The final siege on our hearts this evening, Culver's daily flavor, turtle cheesecake. Only in the Midwest do they work on finding new ways to add more fat to fat.”

“Amen.” She lifted what was left of her beer. “Here's to fat.”

“Another bottle?”

“Sure, it goes so well with custard.”

He grinned at her sarcasm. “Yeah, sorry, I'm fresh out of
liqueur du turtle cheesecake.
”

They went into the living room with their dessert and spoons, Nathan bringing along another six Heinekens, as well.

“You want the lights out?” She headed for the lamp, anticipating his preference for watching TV in the dark.

“Yeah. It's more like a movie theater.”

“Okay.” Kim turned off the light, settled onto the couch and covered herself with the blanket she kept there; she inevitably got cold watching TV, and would certainly get cold eating something frozen. While Nathan loaded the movie, she took her first bite. The custard was dreamy, cheesecake-tasting vanilla with bits of real cheesecake, sweet threads of caramel, chocolate chips and toasted pecan pieces. She was pretty sure she could feel her hips expanding as the creamy richness slid down her throat.

“Good?” He joined her on the couch, pried the plastic top off his cup.

“Orgasmic.”

He opened a beer and handed it to her. “Good to hear.”

“Want under the blanket?” She lifted the edge and held it toward him. “There's plenty.”

“Sure.” He sat close; she felt the warmth of his legs next to hers and wondered if she would regret the offer. It was oddly intimate, sharing a blanket in a dark room.

The movie started with a split-screen view of a man and a woman walking down a city sidewalk, heading toward each other from opposite directions. The next half hour was a bewildering collage of apparently unrelated scenes that depicted too many of the dramatic and complicated situations that kept the couple from meeting, which they were obviously destined to do.

Maybe he was just in her brain, but Kim swore the guy looked enough like Nathan to be his cousin. The woman was dark, exotic and extremely sensual, which meant Kim wouldn't be eligible for that role. The action played out over an insistently throbbing sound track with occasional throaty female singing in some language Kim didn't recognize, punctuated by ecstatic cries that sounded as orgasmic as the frozen custard, and were sort of embarrassing.

She and Nathan made nervous comments here and there, but gradually the movie became more coherent. The couple met, were attracted. Each had a significant other, but it soon became clear they weren't going to let that stop them.

Thoroughly engrossed, Kim finished her custard and her second beer, and took the third one Nathan offered without thinking, until she started drinking it, that she hadn't really wanted another one.

On screen, temptation was finally given the green light. The couple met in a darkened hotel room. For a long time they stood facing each other, fully clothed, including identical trench coats. The man undid the belt of the woman's coat and slipped it off her shoulders to reveal a tight scarlet
cardigan, fastened top to bottom with tiny pearl buttons. Their profiles were barely visible in the dim light.

The woman reached out slowly and undid the man's belt, pushed his raincoat off his broad shoulders to reveal a black T-shirt stretched over his astounding physique.

Kim drank from her third beer, suddenly aware of Nathan next to her, and the fact that they were about to watch these two people…what? Fade to black? Make out? Have sex all over the screen? Gah, she hoped not the latter. With any luck the scene would hint at the passion then cut away to tasteful afterglow.

The hero reached for the heroine's sweater, started unbut-toning it from over her unfairly large breasts. Kim poured more beer down her throat, really uneasy now. Should she say something to break the tension? Suggest they fast-forward if the action got too steamy? Grin and bear it?

Beside her, Nathan watched, beer at rest on the couch's end table. If he felt at all uncomfortable he sure wasn't showing it. She wished she'd insisted they keep on the lights. This could get really awkward, the two of them sitting close beside each other under a blanket in the dark with sex happening a few feet away.

The sweater was peeled off. Underneath, the woman wore a black lace bra that cupped her full breasts, hinted at the darkness of her nipples. The man murmured to her, then the screen was filled with their lips meeting, separating, tongues visible.

Kim froze, kept her face to the front and darted a glance at Nathan. His index finger was playing with the top of his beer now, circling the opening.

The man kissed down to the woman's chin; she tipped her head back; her eyes closed in ecstasy as his mouth made its way down farther; his large, tanned hands covering the black lace holding her breasts, his tongue exploring the impressive cleavage between them.

Kim didn't move. A blush was heating her face, but there
was heating going on in other parts of her body, too. Beside her, Nathan shifted.

She closed her eyes. Then opened them again, because she didn't want to miss anything.

The man's lips tasted her nipple through black lace. Nathan blew out a breath. “Kim.”

Her heart started pounding. “Yes?”

“This is…pretty hot.”

“Ya think?”

“I didn't know it was going to be like this.”

“Do you want to switch it off?”

“No.” He turned, his face dimly illuminated by the light from the TV. “But I'm getting really turned on.”

“Oh.” She didn't know what else to say. “Me, too” would only cause trouble.

He turned back to the screen. She did, too.

The man's shirt was off. His body looked like Nathan's. The woman's bra was off. She did not look like Kim at all.

They stood facing one another, then the man brought his hands up to cup those incredible rose-nippled breasts with a look so reverent Kim got a lump in her throat.

His skin was darker than the woman's, his hands rough and masculine on her body.

Nathan let out a soft groan, shifted again on the couch. “Kim.”

“What?”

“This might kill me.”

Me, too.
She couldn't admit it. “It's… I can see why.”

“Are you feeling it?”

“Nathan…”

“Shhh, okay.” He put his hand above her knee, squeezed reassuringly and let go.

She didn't want him to let go. Her knee burned where he'd touched her. She was getting terribly turned on. This was horrible. She couldn't stay here. She couldn't leave. She wanted Nathan to do to her what the guy was doing on screen.