Living a Lie (46 page)

Jack studied Kitty as she bustled about. It was on the tip of his tongue to ask her about Harry, but he was afraid of the answer she might give. He couldn’t bear to lose her. Not now. Not after all his scheming and waiting. Next Saturday couldn’t come soon enough for him though he suspected Kitty would wish it away for ever if she could.

He had been here ten minutes and she had only spoken a few words.

“Aren’t you well?” he asked. Getting up from his chair, he went to her side.

“You really don’t have to cook for me, darling,” he said in a patronising voice.

“We can go out if you prefer. As a matter of fact, I want to take you out. We can try that new restaurant alongside the river.”

“No, thanks. I’d much rather stay in,” She continued chopping parsley.

“Besides, the vegetables are almost ready, and the casserole is cooking nicely. All we need are the rice to finish cooking, and that bottle of red wine you brought… open it, will you. Jack?” As she turned he went to kiss her, but she avoided him.

She wanted him to leave. She wanted him to say he didn’t intend holding her to her promise; he couldn’t marry her when her heart so obviously wasn’t in it.

With every day it became more and more obvious Jack Harpur was not about to let her go, and anyway she had come to believe that it really didn’t matter. Not with Harry settled and his wife about to have their first child. There was no longer any reason to fight the direction her life was taking. And even if there was, she was trapped, just as surely as if Jack had fastened her in chains.

One good thing had come out of all this. In spite of the fact that Mac had not yet contacted her, Georgie was content, really content for the first time in a long while. She had a temporary job with Marks and Spencers in Liverpool, and they were so pleased with her that she had been given the promise of her job back after she’d had the baby.

“I

had a letter from Georgie today,” Kitty told Jack.

“She’ll be on the four-fifteen train tomorrow afternoon. I’ve arranged to meet her at the station.”

“I thought she was working now?”

“She is, but she’s had this week booked off ever since I told her the wedding date.” She beamed with pleasure at the thought of having Georgie here.

“I’m thrilled she’s agreed to be my maid of honour. It was the devil’s own work getting her to say she would do it, but as I told her, with the right dress it won’t be too easy to spot that she’s pregnant.”

Jack felt neglected.

“When was all this arranged? And why wasn’t I told?”

“You would have been told, it’s just that I hadn’t got round to it, that’s all. What with racing all over the town with Mildred, in and out of the shops, and chasing every little detail every hour of every day, I’ve been rushed off my feet. Honestly! I don’t know where the time’s gone. Saturday seems to have come upon us with a vengeance.” But it was good to keep busy, because whenever she paused for thought, she was panic-stricken. Once that ring was on her finger, there would be no turning back.

Jack appeared to read her thoughts.

“You should have had plenty of time. I mean, you’ve postponed the wedding three times already. The first date was set for April, and now we’re into May. Anyway, what do you mean ” Saturday’s come upon you with a vengeance”?” He forced himself to smile.

“That’s hardly a flattering comment, darling. I’ve spent a small fortune to make Saturday the most wonderful day of your life. Instead of that, you talk as if you’re about to be given a life sentence.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it to sound that way.” All the same, he was right. She was about to be given a life sentence.

Seating himself at the table, he waited to be served.

“It’ll be the best wedding Bedford’s ever seen.” He looked very pleased as he congratulated himself on his own efforts towards the wedding.

“I’ve done my share of organising. The newspapers have been notified; the honeymoon’s booked… the best suite in the most expensive hotel on Mauritius, I might tell you. We’ll be chauffeur-driven to the airport and collected in style the minute the plane touches down at the other end. And just wait until you see what I’ve bought you for a wedding present!

“I can’t wait to show you off. When you walk down that aisle in your wedding gown, I’ll be the proudest man on earth.” As he gazed at her, she imagined she saw a tear, and was filled with guilt.

Going across the room, Kitty placed the dish of rice in the centre of the table.

“Jack, are you quite sure you want to marry me?” It wasn’t the first time she had asked him that, but his answer was always the same.

It was now.

“I want you to be my wife more than I’ve ever wanted anything.” He knew why she asked, and he knew the answer she wanted.

But he was not about to give it.

“Please don’t ask me that again.”

“I just wish you hadn’t invited half of Bedford to the wedding.”

“That’s an exaggeration, and you know it.”

“What! All forty members of your sailing club, and every customer you’ve ever dealt with?” She paused there, because Harry was large in her mind.

“It’s a pity Harry and his wife couldn’t make it.”

“I know, but I did ask him,” he lied.

“Apparently he and Susan have made other plans for that date.”

“Thank you for that,” she acknowledged. To be truthful, she thought it might be as well they couldn’t come. In one way it would have been nice to have Harry there. In another, she didn’t think she could bear him to listen while she gave her vows to another man. The fact that he had chosen to be elsewhere told her a great deal.

Jack complained then that he couldn’t see why she hadn’t accepted his invitation to move into his house. Kitty made her excuses for the umpteenth time, and quickly changed the subject.

She had stayed in the flat because she wanted to be on her own. She needed time to adjust to the changes that were looming. She had to come to terms with the fact that soon she would be Mrs. Jack Harpur.

She chastised herself for being reluctant because after all he was a good man. He was wealthy, her life would be much easier, he had promised to show her the world, and obviously adored her. What woman wouldn’t be thrilled at the prospect of marrying him?

The meal was eaten, the wine was drunk, and Jack wanted to make love.

“It’s been a whole week,” he moaned, “I can’t wait until Saturday.”

Standing behind her chair, he slid his hand down the neck of her blouse.

“You’re enough to drive any man mad.” The tips of his fingers found her nipples.

“I want you so much,” he sighed, softly caressing her.

“Let me take you… right here on the floor.” Bending forward, he licked her ear and pressed his face to hers.

“I can’t wait much longer,” he whispered.

“I’m in agony. You wouldn’t turn a man down when he’s in agony, would you?”

Kitty tried so hard not to dislike him. He didn’t deserve that. He had always treated her well, and though his reasons were not unselfish, he had come to Georgie’s rescue. Yet she couldn’t love him. Not the way he wanted.

She could feel him all over her; his hands; his mouth;

the touch of his tongue on her neck. In a way it was good. Someone needed her. Someone prized her above all others. This man was prepared to spend the rest of his life with her. That had to count for something. Besides, these past few days she had felt incredibly lonely, aching inside, wondering if she could ever be content again.

She could hear him whispering in her ear, soft and persuasive. He needed her. She needed him. Besides, she had needs too. A spiral of anger rose in her. What was wrong with taking love where you could find it?

Now he was groaning as though in agony, his probing fingers caressing her thigh. Her legs were open. She felt vulnerable. For one brief moment she was tempted to yield, to let him invade her.

“Just once more before we’re married,” he urged excitedly.

“After Saturday we’ll be together for always.”

The temptation subsided.

“After Saturday’ he’d said. And Saturday was only a few days away. Suddenly she was cold inside.

“No, Jack,” she said softly.

“The wine’s gone to my head, and I’m heavy with sleep.

Saturday will soon be here. ” She forced herself to smile at him.

“You’ll just have to be patient.”

Lurching away, he made a growling sound in the back of his throat.

“You’ve got me too excited to wait until Saturday.”

Kitty inched away.

“You’ve got yourself excited.”

“You’re a hard woman, Kitty Marsh!” His eyes were glittering brightly.

“I ought to take you anyway, whether you want it or not!”

Kitty was quickly on her feet.

“If you tried that, it would be the first and last time.”

He bowed his head.

“Sorry, darling,” he apologised.

“I was only joking. I would never do that, and you know it.”

After that he couldn’t do enough for her. He helped her clear the table. He washed the dishes while she dried, and afterwards, when she told him she was tired, didn’t put up an argument. Instead he went quietly.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then?”

“Not tomorrow,” she said, reminding him that she was collecting Georgie from the station.

“After I’ve got her home I shall feed her and get her settled, then we’ll just sit and talk till the cows come home.”

“Wednesday then?”

“Not Wednesday either. There’s still so much to be done,” she reminded him.

“On Wednesday there’s her dress to be fitted, her shoes to be got, a hair appointment to be made for both of us, and all the other little last-minute things.”

His face fell with disappointment, but he didn’t argue.

“Thursday, then,” he said, smiling from ear to ear when she nodded her agreement.

“But it will seem like a lifetime until then.”

After he’d gone. Kitty sat with her feet up and a mug of hot chocolate clutched in her hands.

“You’re wrong, Jack,” she muttered, recalling his parting words. ^Saturday will seem like a lifetime. And every day after that. “

At midnight she went to bed. At six she was downstairs again, unable to sleep any longer, excited that Georgie would soon be here. She had a slice of toast and a cup of strong tea, then washed the crockery, tidied her bedroom, Hoovered the entire flat and scrubbed the kitchen floor. That done, she put on her coat and went into town.

It was still only eight-thirty by the time she got to the florist, but they were open and just setting out a splendid pavement display.

“I’ll have two bunches of white chrysanthemums,” she told the assistant.

“And another bunch of those lovely pink roses.” The colours would mix wonderfully well, she thought.

On her way back, she remembered Georgie’s weakness for eccles cakes.

Calling in the baker’s she bought half a dozen, oozing with currants and with pastry so flaky it fell off like a snow shower when the girl put them into a bag.

Kitty also bought a french loaf, six large crusty baps, and some naughty chocolate eclairs.

“You’ll get fat,” the girl laughed.

“I should be so lucky,” Kitty replied with a glance at her trim shapely figure. She wouldn’t mind being fat, if it was fat of a kind that would produce a baby at the end. That was something else she was concerned about, a niggling little worry at the back of her mind.

Right up to the hour before she was due to meet Georgie, Kitty kept herself busy. She took delight in arranging the flowers; a huge vaseful in Georgie’s bedroom, more in the sitting room, and even in the bathroom. She washed the bathroom from top to bottom, she polished every windowsill in the flat, and even had a go at cleaning the windows. It was a beautiful day. The sun shone in through the windows and Kitty’s heart was happier than it had been in a very long time.

The hours sped by, and soon it was time for her to make her way to the station. She thought it too lovely a day to go by bus so decided to walk; along by the river and through the Amdale Centre, with its splendid old facade and busy thoroughfares.

Pausing now and then to gaze in the shop windows, she saw the most beautiful brooch in a corner jeweller’s; it was a blue red-eyed rabbit, a bright cheerful creature with long floppy ears. She had already bought a present for the maid of honour, but as soon as she saw the rabbit, she knew Georgie would love it.

It took only a few minutes to purchase the brooch, then she was on her way, her steps quickening as she approached the Midland Road station.

“Due in a few minutes,” the clerk confirmed.

“Meeting someone, are you?” Kitty had only bought a platform ticket so he knew she wasn’t travelling.

As she walked away, his appreciative gaze followed her, from the top of her shining dark hair to the shapely lines of her ankles. Kitty was wearing a short beige skirt and long-sleeved blue blouse. She had on her blue high-heeled shoes, and the whole outfit showed off her figure to perfection.

“Nice eyes too,” the clerk muttered with a saucy wink.

“Wish I were thirty years younger.”

Kitty sat on the wooden-slatted bench, a small forlorn figure on that lonely platform. She watched for the train and tried to push all thoughts of Saturday from her mind. Oh, but it would be wonderful to have Georgie for a whole week. She missed her. She missed having a friend to talk with, to share her fears and hopes with. She remembered the old days, when she and Georgie were younger. In spite of the unhappy reasons that had taken them to the home, Kitty still cherished the memory of those times as some of the best in her life.

Just as the clerk had predicted, the train was on time. The last few minutes before it came speeding into view, a multitude of people crowded the platform.

Kitty pushed her way through to watch the train as it came into the station, her eager eyes searching every carriage as it went by. For a minute she thought Georgie had changed her mind as she often did, and her heart fell like a lead weight inside her.

“Don’t let me down, Georgie gal,” she muttered, smiling with embarrassment when a big ginger-haired woman gave her a funny look. As the wary woman hurried on to the train, Kitty couldn’t help but chuckle.