Liverpool Angels (29 page)

Maggie shook her head sadly. ‘No, but I had a lovely letter from the girl he’s courting, Lizzie. It appears that she’s going to be our daughter-in-law, Billy, one day. She’s a nurse, a friend of Mae’s and Alice’s, and she’s tried hard to explain how Eddie feels. I’ve never met her of course but she sounds a sensible and caring girl.’

‘Maggie, I never wanted to cause a rift between Eddie and Alice. When I came to see you the first time, that was the last thing I envisaged would happen. I don’t want to be the cause of bad feeling between them and heartache for you.’

‘I know that. Well, the decision was mine so I suppose some of the blame must be laid at my door. All we can hope is that he’ll change his mind one day. This war will have to end sometime and then he’ll come home and we’ll just have to see how things work out. I’ve written to them both and I’ve “made my bed”. And, talking of beds . . .’ Maggie placed the teapot on the table and sat down opposite him. ‘I . . . there hasn’t been . . . a man in my life since you left, Billy, and well, I don’t feel as if . . .’ She was struggling, becoming embarrassed.

He nodded. ‘I understand, Maggie. It’s going to take time for you to get used to having me here again and it’s too soon for anything . . . intimate, although I do have feelings for you.’

She was very relieved for this had been causing her some concern. Yes, she was fond of him but he was right, it was just too soon to think that they could share a bed again. Perhaps in time but not now. ‘Then you won’t mind having the room Eddie shared with John?’

‘Not at all. And I’ll be able to do a bit around the house: the Navy made me self-reliant. I’ll contribute to the expenses too, Maggie. I’ve got my pension and a little saved. I don’t drink or gamble any more, all I’ll need is a few coppers for my tobacco.’

She smiled at him. ‘You certainly have changed, Billy. What money you earned before always burned a hole in your pocket until it was gone. Now that we’ve sorted all that out we’ll get your case unpacked and then I thought we’d have a fish supper as a bit of a treat.’

He reached across and took her hand. ‘I won’t let you down again, Maggie, I promise. We’ll be grand together from now on, sure we will.’ He smiled, and looking at him Maggie was sure he was telling the truth.

‘I hope so, I really do. Welcome home, Billy,’ she said quietly. She was happy now the decision was made, and happier still that she felt she could trust him.

E
veryone knew that the offensive was coming, for the Bolshevik Revolution the previous October and the resultant collapse of the Russian Army had released thousands of German troops from the Eastern Front.

Christmas had passed quietly without much in the way of either festive spirit or fare, even though the countryside had been scoured for chickens or pigs to provide a meal. They had decorated the wards with greenery but there were fewer comforts coming from home, for things were getting expensive and scarcer as U-boat activity had forced the merchant ships to sail in convoys now with naval escorts, a slow and often costly means of bringing in supplies.

The early months of 1918 had been bitterly cold with heavy snow and frost, and again the troops in the trenches had suffered terribly, but now spring was on the way and the war was into its fourth year. The girls knew the fighting was about to start again for the hospital had been cleared of as many patients as possible to make room for new casualties.

‘Oh, I’m so glad Jimmy is out of it,’ Alice had remarked wearily as they’d bade farewell to the last of the ‘Boat Sitting’ patients, en route to the hospital ship.

‘I just wish Pip was,’ Mae added. In the last letter she’d had from him two weeks ago he’d written that they were being moved up to Arras, which she knew was closer to the front line, and she lived in fear of him being so exposed to danger.

Lizzie said nothing. She was thankful that Eddie was still stationed at the supply depot and therefore relatively safe, but to say it aloud she felt was tempting fate, particularly as the offensive was expected to start at any time now. It upset her that Eddie and Alice were still not speaking. His attitude had hardened after he’d received his mother’s letter telling him Billy had moved back in, and his views on his father had become even more bitterly entrenched, but Alice and Mae had seemed to take the news well.

‘Are you going to see Eddie on your next afternoon off?’ Mae enquired as they walked together to the mess tent.

‘Of course. It might be the last time for quite a while. There will be no time off when the hospital trains start to arrive. You know that, Mae,’ Lizzie reminded her.

‘See if he knows anything more than we do. They take supplies up the line so he might have more news. At least then we’ll be a bit more prepared.’

Lizzie nodded. ‘Has Pip heard when the next lot of American troops are expected to arrive? The weather on the Atlantic won’t be as bad as in the winter months and surely they’ve had enough time to train them and organise ships to bring them across. It’s almost a year now since they declared war. Their doctors and nurses have been here for ages – they’ve had time to set up their hospitals.’

‘He seems to think it will be sometime this month – I hope it will be soon. At least when they finally do come over they’ll all be fresh and fit, not like our lads who are getting weary of the conditions and the fighting. We could certainly do with their extra support now.’

‘I think it’s going to be a big offensive this time. I heard Surgeon Major Harris telling Sister Harper that deeper defences were being dug and new trenches and strongholds were being fortified. Trench raiding has been forbidden and artillery barrages curtailed.’

Mae frowned. ‘That means the hospitals will be even more overcrowded.’

‘And it will double our workload but I don’t see them sending any more nurses over to help,’ Lizzie added.

‘With the amount of men we’ve already sent back I’m sure the hospitals can’t spare any more staff and Aunty Maggie said in her last letter that things are getting bad at home too. Coal is still expensive owing to the continuing disputes over pay by the miners and so is the cost of living – and they are bringing in rationing because so much is having to be shipped in.’

Lizzie sighed. ‘I know we say this a dozen times a day but I wish to God it was all over and we could go home.’

Mae nodded her silent agreement followed by her usual prayer.
Keep them all safe, God, please. Keep them all safe.

To her consternation Lizzie found Eddie in a very depressed mood. Sergeant Walker, equally grim-faced, instructed Eddie to take his young lady for a short walk by the harbour. It was a chilly early March afternoon with a brisk wind blowing in off the sea and the waterfront was crowded with the usual activities of unloading supplies and embarking the last of the wounded, but as they walked towards the sand dunes it became quieter.

‘Eddie, luv, what’s wrong? I can see by your face that something’s upset you and you’ve hardly said a word while I’ve been chattering on. Has the offensive already started? Is that it?’

Eddie shook his head. ‘No, but it will start any day now, Lizzie. I’ve got to go back. I got the order yesterday to rejoin the battalion.’

Lizzie stared at him in horror as fear surged through her. ‘Oh, no! Oh, Eddie, no! Can’t Sergeant Walker do anything? Can’t he say he needs you here?’

‘I asked him the same thing, Lizzie. There’s nothing he can do. I know he’s not happy about it but it’s an order. There are three of us going back, the other two are in the Gloucestershire Regiment. After he’d told us, he said he was sorry to lose us as we were all good lads and then he walked away but we heard him muttering “short of bloody cannon fodder”. And that’s what we are, Lizzie. The Boche have got all those troops from the Russian front now. I don’t want to go. I don’t want to have to face it all again. Every hour of every day wondering when I’ll be hit. I’m not a coward, Lizzie, I just . . .’

Lizzie put her arms around him. ‘Of course you’re not a coward, Eddie! You’ve proved that. Twice they’ve sent you back to the front and anyone who says they’re not afraid to face it all again is a damned fool!’ She was more in control of her emotions now. ‘When will you have to leave?’

‘Tomorrow, first thing,’ Eddie replied dully. Oh, he’d become so used to life here and its relative safety and comforts. Of course going up the line to the front held its dangers; there was always the chance that a stray shell or burst of machine-gun fire would catch you, and in the dire winter conditions the animals would often stumble or slip and that could cause the cart or gun carriage to overturn, but it had never happened to him. He’d been spared the atrocious winter conditions in the trenches, he’d been decently fed and he’d been able to sleep at night, but now . . .

‘Will I see you again before you go?’ Lizzie asked, feeling utterly dejected but also thinking of Alice. She couldn’t let them part with so much animosity still between them.

Eddie didn’t reply.

‘Ask if you can come to the hospital tonight for half an hour, after you’ve finished your duties, of course. I’ll ask Sergeant Walker, if you like. Eddie, you can’t leave without seeing Alice and Mae, you just can’t!’

Still he didn’t reply.

‘Eddie, if you go without seeing your sister and . . . if anything happened to you, I’d never be able to forgive myself and I don’t think Alice would either. Please, Eddie?’ she begged.

At last he nodded. ‘I’ll ask him, Lizzie, but you’ll have to understand that if he refuses there’s nothing I can do about it.’

Thankful that he had agreed, Lizzie clung tightly to his arm as they retraced their steps, determined that she would wait to see what the sergeant had to say. At least if he refused she could go back and see if perhaps Alice could be spared for half an hour to make her peace with Eddie before he left.

Both Mae and Alice received the news with stunned disbelief but it was Alice who found her voice first. ‘They can’t! They can’t send him back again, Lizzie! This is the
third
time!’

‘I know, Alice, but they are. Even Sergeant Walker can’t do anything about it. I’m just as upset and angry as you are. It simply doesn’t seem fair. But he’s coming to see us tonight.’

Mae was as worried as the other two but she realised that if they were sending men back to their regiments then it looked as if things were bad, that they expected the Germans to break through the line this time. But she didn’t voice her thoughts for now Lizzie would know the terrible anxiety and anguish she suffered every day over Pip.

Sister Harper, having heard the circumstances from Lizzie, gave her permission for Eddie to be allowed to say his farewells in the comparative privacy of the billet her three nurses shared.

‘It’s extremely irregular, Nurse, but under such circumstances I will allow it. There will be the other nurses present but at least it’s better than having to stand at the gate of the compound.’

Lizzie thanked her and as the girl left, Sister felt a frisson of resentment run through her. She knew he wasn’t the only one – but was it absolutely necessary to send the lad back? she thought. Hadn’t he been through enough already? There was only so much stress the mind could endure. Surely he was better deployed in the supply lines where he was familiar with the work and routine? But then, like Mae, she knew that the brass were expecting a major offensive and very soon.

By scrounging and begging from both the other nurses and some of their patients they’d managed to scrape together a few things for Eddie to take with him. A small bar of chocolate, five cigarettes and some matches, half a dozen humbugs wrapped in a twist of greaseproof paper, an extra pair of woollen gloves and a very small flask of brandy, donated – surreptitiously – by Sister Harper herself, with the instruction that if a single word was said about it they would all find themselves in dire trouble.

Lizzie and Mae had carefully packed the items into a small canvas bag, Mae hoping they would help lift Eddie’s spirits a little and Lizzie praying silently that they would be a reminder of the love and affection they had for him.

Alice paced restlessly up and down, wondering how she was going to tell her mam that they’d sent him back again, and feeling apprehensive and miserable that their last meeting had ended in such harsh, angry words.

A middle-aged orderly escorted Eddie to their tent, remarking tersely that this was usually strictly forbidden and advising him not to take advantage of Sister’s generosity. ‘I’ve to come back for you in half an hour,’ was his parting comment.

He’d hardly changed since she’d last seen him seven months ago, Alice thought as he entered. But then what had she expected? she asked herself. Had she expected him to have put on weight, to look healthier and stronger? They all had to put up with far from comfortable conditions but at least he was clean and tidy, his uniform looked smart and his boots polished.

‘Eddie, come on in and sit down, luv. We’ve had a bit of a whip-round and managed to get you a few comforts to take with you,’ Lizzie informed him, trying her best to inject a note of cheer into the occasion although she felt her heart was breaking.

‘Everyone was very generous,’ Mae added, handing him the canvas bag and lowering her voice to a whisper, ‘even Sister Harper.’

Eddie smiled at them both as he delved into the bag. ‘Tell everyone thanks. You know I appreciate it.’

‘Eddie, I’ll . . . let Mam know . . .’ Alice said quietly. ‘And I’m sorry we . . . don’t agree.’

Eddie nodded grimly. ‘I don’t think we’ll ever agree on that subject, Alice,’ he said coldly.

‘But
we
don’t have to fall out over it, Eddie, do we?’

Eddie looked away. He didn’t answer.

Mae realised that the situation was deteriorating fast and could see that Lizzie was getting upset. ‘Let’s not spend what time we have dwelling on past . . . differences. Let’s all have a cup of tea – I begged a few biscuits to have with it. Eddie, did you manage to get a lift back too? It’s bitterly cold tonight.’

‘I did, Mae. There were some supplies to be delivered here so I’ll go back with the driver,’ Eddie replied, gratefully taking the mug Mae offered.

The precious minutes seemed to fly past, Lizzie thought as they drank their tea and Eddie exclaimed over the generosity of the comforts, particularly the brandy. The tea tasted even more bitter than usual and it was as if a lump of lead had settled in her stomach. She was very grateful to Mae and the other two nurses who were off duty as they tried to keep the atmosphere light and cheerful. Mae would know exactly how she was feeling, wondering when she would see Eddie again, praying nothing would happen to him. Pip had been away so long and all Mae had to depend on were his letters. She’d made Eddie promise faithfully he would write.

All too soon the orderly poked his head through the flap and Eddie stood up.

‘I’ll walk to the gate with you,’ Lizzie said firmly, grabbing her cape from the bed where she’d placed it, determined to stay with him until the very last minute.

‘Thanks for the tea and biscuits and everything else,’ Eddie said, glancing round. ‘Mae, you look after yourself.’

Mae hugged him. ‘I will. Good luck, Eddie.’

Alice bit her lip, wondering what to do, for his attitude towards her still seemed chilly and formal. ‘Try and write, Eddie, please? You know how worried we all will be about you,’ she said.

Eddie nodded and turned to leave but then turned back, his expression changing. ‘Alice . . . I’m sorry . . .’

Alice hurled herself at him, tears trickling down her cheeks. ‘Oh, take care, Eddie! We can sort it all out. Just . . . just come back safely.’