Little Miss Lovesick (18 page)

We laughed and Matt picked her up. He took my hand and started down the stairs. “Hungry?”

Within an hour, dinner was ready and Rover was tied to the porch. (Unhappily, I might add.) A roaring bonfire lit up the night in a fire pit between the house and the barn. A short table, the perfect height for eating on the ground, held our food.

Matt brought over two cans of pop and nodded at the space next to me. “May I?”

I smiled at him, somersaults in my stomach. “Please.”

We leaned against a log. It reminded me of the night by the fire in Abundance Creek.

“I’m getting a little chilly. Mind if I sit closer and share body heat?”

Oh my gosh. He wa
s
s
o
cute. As if he needed to ask. “You could always get closer to the fire.”

He looked at the big log against our backs. “Nah, too much trouble to move the furniture.”

I giggled. “You could put some more wood on the fire.”

He sighed. “Can’t. I almost caught the barn on fire once.” He moved around a little, presumably making himself more comfortable, but noticeably inching closer to me.

“What? How?”

“The fire pit was much closer to the barn then. Patty and her husband Duke were over and—” he shrugged. “I was trying to impress all the grown-ups. My mother swore she’d never let me build another fire again, but Uncle Ted calmed her down. He and I moved the fire pit, tested how many logs brought the fire to what height and—” He grinned at me. “Uncle Ted made the Six Log Rule.” He nodded back toward the house. “Two Log Rule for inside.”

I burst out laughing. “That explains Patty’s teasing up north.”

He nodded. “So now, if I get too cold, my only recourse is to get closer to you.”

“Ah, I see.” I paused for effect. “You know what they say, hope deferred makes the heart sick.”

He laughed at me in surprise. “Oh, so I won’t get any help from you should I begin to freeze to death? I’ll keep that in mind the next time I think about giving yo
u
m
y
warm shirt.”

We ate our dinner — the best steak
s
eve
r
— and laughed and talked. When we were done with the meal, Matt brought Rover over — which made he
r
muc
h
happier. Soon it was dark enough to see almost every star in the northern hemisphere. We pointed out the constellations we knew and argued about the ones we couldn’t remember.

Matt took Rover back to the porch, put her on the dog bed, and picked up a grocery sack. At my questioning look, he pulled out a bag of marshmallows.

“Got room for s’mores?” he asked with a teasing smile.

“Duh!” I said, laughing.

We toasted marshmallows and ate s’mores and talked until it really did become chilly. Matt brought me one of his flannel shirts from the kitchen. “If I put another log on,” he said, “we’ll be here all night. If I let the fire die out, we’ll both be cold.”

My chest tightened. I didn’t know what to say. My eyes dropped to his mouth — whoops! They dropped to his chin. “Huh,” I said.

“If you ask me,” he said in a conversational tone, “We have about”—he looked at his wrist, which I noticed didn’t have a watch on it—“twenty-six minutes before we have to decide to go inside or call it a night.”

I laughed.

Matt leaned to pick up a stick he’d been poking the fire with. He prodded the logs apart so they fell with a whoosh of sparks and the flames dropped lower.

“What is it about fires and firelight that people like so much?” I wondered aloud.

“They’re warm,” said Matt.

I swatted him. “
I
mea
n
,” I said, “even in Arizona and California and New Mexico people have fireplaces. I heard one couple joke that in Arizona they turned on the air conditioning on winter nights when they wanted to cuddle so they could sit comfortably in front of the fire.”

“Well, that’s the reason.” Matt poked the embers again and put down the stick.

“What’s the reason?” I pulled my knees up and wrapped my arms around my legs.

“People want to cuddle. It’s natural.” He looked at me and smiled.

I smiled back and looked away. I shivered a bit. This man was making my nerves crazy. I stared at the fire.

“Cold yet?”

I shook my head. “I’m fine.”

“Bummer,” he said softly. He poked at the fire some more. “Would it make a difference if I said I was getting cold?”

I smiled a little and shivered again.

“Want me to build the fire back up?”

“No, I know you have to—” I looked at the fire, really looked at it. What was leaping flames two minutes ago was now a pile of embers. I whipped my head around. Sure enough, he was trying not to laugh.

“You did that on purpose!” I smacked him in the chest and he started laughing. “You’re trying to make me cold so I’ll — so I’ll—” I was laughing now but still couldn’t finish the sentence.

“Let me keep you warm,” he finished for me.

Geez, he’s got a beautiful smile. And beautiful eyes.

“Cheater.”

“Hey, I told you I had to put out the fire, and you stayed anyway, didn’t you?”

I ignored him.

“Didn’t you?”

I stuck my tongue out at him and he laughed.

“So unless you want to go home, we can sit here and enjoy some quiet conversation until the fire’s out. And hey, if cuddling is involved, it’s only because you put the thought in our heads.”

I stared at him with my mouth hanging open. “I put the thought — I did not!”

“You were talking about all the people who cuddle in front of the fire. I hadn’t really thought about it until then, but now—” He poked the fire again with his stick.

“You were like, what, a prosecuting attorney in another life?”

He laughed. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

I sighed and narrowed my eyes at him. “No funny stuff, understand? Just for warmth, that’s all.”

“I promise not to touch you anywhere I haven’t touched you before.”

I was starting to settle against the log next to him when he said that. But when I sat up a little to give him my version of Emily’s “look” it only gave him an opportunity to put his arm around me, which he did. He pulled me snug against his chest.

“Ahh!” he said with mock seriousness. He gave a little shiver. “Much better! I was beginning to think I was going to get frostbite.”

I chuckled. “You were not.” But I could feel the difference already. Two warm bodies on a relatively cool night was really quite pleasant. When was the last time I’d done this?

CHAPTER 19

I COULD feel myself getting tense again. Did I want to go home? Did I want to stay? When we were up north, Emily and I hadn’t discussed what was on the acceptable flirting list. I’d warned her that I couldn’t remember. Being with one person for so long…well, you act differently.

Matt loosened his hold on me and took one of my hands, massaging my palm. That both helped me to relax and made me wonder just what he wanted. Truly, I think I’ve seen too many movies and too much news. In all the flirting and cuddling that goes on in the world, it can’t turn out badl
y
tha
t
often.

After a moment, Matt said, “What are you thinking about? Suddenly you’re quiet as a mouse.”

“I watch too many movies,” I said in my usual blurting-out style.

He chuckled. “Oh, really?”

I decided I didn’t care if I was good at flirting. I was just going to be myself. If he didn’t like it, then I’d get to sleep sooner.

“You know, in the movies when two strangers cuddle in the dark, either a psychotic killer comes up behind them, or the gu
y
i
s
a psychotic killer, or he’s a brute and takes advantage of her or—”

Matt started laughing. “What kinds of movies do you watch?”

“You know, all of them.”

“In horror movies, yeah.”

“Yeah, horror movies and action movies and—”

“No, in action movies the good guy always saves the girl from the bad guy.”

“Well…” I had to think for a moment.

Matt dropped my right hand and picked up my left, massaging it in a way that made me want to shut up and enjoy it.

“I’m right,” he said.

“No, I just have to think for a minute. I can’t think when you’re doing that.”

He laughed low by my ear and kept massaging my hand. “I think,” he said quietly, “that if you’re going to think about movies while we’re sitting here, you should think of the one where the girl gets away from the bad guy, goes on a fishing trip and meets a good guy who just wants to make her feel better for a little while.”

I couldn’t think of a single thing to say to that.

“After all,” he continued as he let go of my left hand, “he’s seen her cry and he’s seen her laugh. Given the choice, he’d rather see her laugh again.”

You’re being so nice that it makes me want to cry. I tried to casually move my hand up to my eyes, as if rubbing smoke from them.

He pulled me closer.

“Ah, now the pressure is on,” he said, “to make her laugh. Hmm…”

He banged his head gently on mine.

“My mind’s a blank. It’s like hitting a brick wall.”

“Hey!” I chuckled and pulled away. “That’s not funny.”

He pulled me back into his arms. “I’m trying to think of something funny. Just give me a moment.” He put his head next to mine again, then put his nose in my hair and breathed in. I remembered what he said upstairs. I closed my eyes and sighed.

“Hey,” Matt said. He breathed in my hair some more, then made sniffing noises. “Do you smell a skunk? We have a problem with—”

I laughed and yelled and tried to pull away, but he wrapped me up tight against him and kept sniffing my hair.

“—skunks during the summer. Actually, all kinds of critters. Skunks and—”

I wiggled away, giggling. (No
w
thi
s
is fun, I was thinking.)

“—raccoons and porcupines—”

A moment later, I was in the air and then on his lap, still laughing because he was so funny. I wouldn’t have stayed there except he was still making me laugh. And making me feel safe.

“—and the occasional pretty girl.” He put on a pirate’s leer and changed his voice. “Aye, matey, I like the pretty girls best. Harder to catch”—he put his forehead against mine—“but easier on the nose.” He rubbed his nose against mine as we both laughed.

Took about a second and a half for both of us to notice how close our lips were. I saw him take a deep breath (I held mine), move a tiny bit closer (I didn’t move at all), then it was the Fourth of July all over again!

After a couple of
(
fabulou
s
) moments, he pulled away.

“The question always comes down to,” his pirate voice went deeper, sexier, “do we sail away with ’em or—” he opened his legs and I fell between them to the ground, “drop ’em overboard?”

I let out a surprised gasp when I hit the hard ground.

He laughed and pulled me close to his chest again. He had one arm wrapped around my shoulders and the other around my waist. Very snug. Very nice.

“You’re crazy.” I grinned against his chest. I snuggled a bit closer.

“You got a problem with that?” He tried for a thick Brooklyn accent, but it was terrible and I told him so.

“Fine,” he said. “If you’re going to make fun of the way I talk, I won’t talk anymore.”

And he didn’t. He pulled my head under his chin. One hand ran up and down my arm. Sighing, he pulled me closer.

I breathed deeply against his chest and smelled smoke and woods and whatever else made up the scent of him. And I decided that perhaps I would just stay there forever.

How many times are you going to say that
?
asked a Voice.

Until wishing makes it s
o
, sighed Lovesick.

He ran his fingers through my hair. He put his nose against the top of my head, breathed in the smell of my hair (which probably smelled like wood smoke), then cuddled me back under his chin.

Quietly, he said, “We’ve only got about twenty minutes left. Then you’re going to have to let me go.”

I giggled. “First of all, it’s been way more than six minutes. Second of all, you’re the one holding me.”

He moved his arm from around my shoulders as he looked pointedly at his waist. “Uh, excuse me!”

I giggled again. One arm was tucked between us, but my other arm was wrapped around his waist.

He growled in my ear and put his arm around me again. “Trying to blame all this on me, are ya?”

“Yup,” I said into his shirt. I giggled as he tightened his grip. He kept tightening it until I finally yelped, “Okay, uncle, you win, I lose, let go!”

He raised his head and laughed like an evil cartoon character. “Ha, ha, haa!”

I laughed again. I snuggled into his arms and closed my eyes. So wonderful…

It seemed like forever may have passed when I felt myself being moved and heard a groan. I couldn’t think of where I was except that I was being moved away from the warmth.

I moaned in protest and tried to move back to where I was. I heard a chuckle and someone kissed me on the forehead. Then kissed me again. I sighed.

Then I was moved again. Where was I? Rubbing my eyes, I looked around. Still sitting on the ground in front of Matt, but the fire was completely out. A light from the kitchen cast a dim glow onto the deck. The rest of the yard was covered in moonlight.

Matt rubbed his seat and tried to flex his legs. “My rear end fell asleep,” he said with a quiet laugh.

I smiled sleepily at him. “What time is it?”

“I don’t know.” He grinned at me. “But I’m sure it’s been more than a half hour.”

I grinned back as best I could. I was beginning to shiver, and I realized my butt had no feeling in it either.

Matt hoisted himself onto the log we’d been leaning against and tried to rub feeling back into his limbs. I started to stand and nearly fell. We both started laughing, then tried to be quieter when we heard it echo across the clearing.

I made it to my feet, then started the “Oh, oh, oh!” dance as the pins and needles raced up and down my legs. Matt laughed and grabbed my hand, pulling me over to him. He rubbed my legs as I hopped from one foot to the other. Soon the circulation was working again and I moved away.

“Hey, I’m cold, get back over here,” he said as he pulled me back.

He wrapped his arms around my waist and put his head on my chest. I hugged him and giggled. He snuggled deeper and mumbled, “Back to sleep.”

From where he was sitting and based on my height standing next to him, well, his head was snuggled in th
e
middl
e
of my shirt.

“Uh, excuse me,” I laughed. He snuggled more, moving his head back and forth, left to right.

“Hey, mister, I think we’ve crossed the line between flirting and being fresh.” I tried to back up but he had me tight.

“Hmm? What’s that? I can’t hear you.”

I was still trying to keep my laughter soft enough so it couldn’t be heard by whatever neighbors he might have. “Come on, Matt. We have to go to bed.”

At that he looked up. “Woo-hoo! I found me a girl and she’
s
eas
y
.” He sounded like Jim Carrey and I laughed again.

“In your dreams!” I pulled away and tugged on his arms to get him up.

“Again with the bedroom references.” He grinned lecherously at me. “
I
lik
e
you.”

He rose and swung me up into his arms.

“Hey!” I said, startled.

“Mm, this is familiar. Oh yeah, we just slept together like this.”

I giggled and tried to move my head away from his. We were inches apart, sleepy enough to forget about good manners, and well, I wanted to kiss him, so I figured it would be a good thing if I didn’t.

He could see it in my face. I saw his eyes drop to my lips. I made a point not to move them, not to lick them, not to do anything at all enticing. I opened my mouth to tell him to put me down.

His mouth covered mine in the sweetest way. I moved my hand to his cheek. One kiss melted into another. My hand slid into his hair. So soft. Soft, wet kisses. I tried to move closer. I felt Matt lower my feet to the ground and pull me against him. I wrapped both arms around his neck.

His mouth moved down my neck. I shivered. I pressed closer and kissed his neck. He smelled amazing. It made me want more. I turned my head so he kissed me on the lips again. My stomach had that same sweet/sick feeling that it has when a roller coaster drops down fast.

“We should decide if you’re staying or going,” Matt whispered.

“Uh-huh,” I whispered between kisses.

I felt myself walking backward as we kissed. Matt’s hands were running up and down my back, my sides. They moved almost to my breasts and back down again. It tickled like crazy, even though he hadn’t touched them. I pressed closer.

The deck railing hit my back. We stopped moving backward. Matt kissed my cheeks, then my ear. His whisper tickled and I dug my fingers into his back. He whispered again, but not as close to my ear.

“Am I driving you home now or later?”

“Mm-hmm,” I said. Sort of said.

He pulled back more. I leaned into him. He put his hands on my shoulders to keep me from moving closer. “Come on, Syd, decide.”

Barely a moment passed as I tried to clear the fog in my brain, then he kissed me again, hotter than before. His lips and tongue were hard and demanding. I poured myself into him with renewed passion.

Just do i
t
, urged one of the Voices in my head
.
You’ll fee
l
s
o
much better.

I knew that was true. I felt light-headed already and we hadn’t even done anything to be embarrassed about yet.

I thought about giving in. But I heard my mother’s voice and my pastor’s voice and all their reasons why I shouldn’t.

Why should they ever know
?
said one of my Voices
.
It’ll be worth it to feel better, to feel loved.

I leaned forward and kissed Matt again. So hot and sweet.

I thought of Dirk. He’d mad
e
wa
y
more promises than Matt. And look where that ended up.

Isn’t better to be loved for a little while than not at all?

I felt Matt’s skin under his shirt. I didn’t remember pulling it out of his waistband. He felt hot and—

Stop!

I pulled away so fast, I hit my head on the deck railing. Damn!

I opened my eyes and my mouth in shock at the pain. My hand met Matt’s hand at the back of my head.

“Are you okay?” His voice held a mixture of surprise, empathy and laughter.

“I think that might have been God’s way of knocking some sense into me,” I said a little breathlessly. My ears were ringing. Definitely not thinking about sex at this moment.

Matt laughed, which made me chuckle. Which made me wince.

He took one long deep breath and blew it out. Stepping away from the porch railing, he took my hand, guiding me over to the kitchen door. “You sit here for a minute. I’m going to get two ice cold Cokes and my car keys.”