Little Kids, Big City: Tales from a Real House in New York City (With Lessons on Life and Love for Your Own Concrete Jungle) (23 page)

BOOK: Little Kids, Big City: Tales from a Real House in New York City (With Lessons on Life and Love for Your Own Concrete Jungle)

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It’s not quite the same childhood that I experienced, but as the boys get older I certainly plan to get them out of the city more on weekends and see more of what’s to offer within an hour’s drive. Where François is well ahead of me at the same age is that on our various trips abroad he has observed (and scampered after) three lumbering iguanas, goats, chickens, camels, kangaroos, koalas, snorkeled chasing clownfish and so on. While these occasional trips are no replacement for living among such fauna on an everyday basis, these sightings mean that just because we live in a major metropolis they will still get to go camping, fishing, pumpkin picking and maybe even chicken plucking, like I did as a kid.

Alex

Camping, fishing and the chance to manhandle pumpkins and chickens are all available in the Midwest. As I mentioned earlier, one of the places I spent a lot of time while growing up was in rural southeast Kansas near my father’s oil properties. One of my brothers still lives there and we go back when we can to visit him and friends. The fastest way to get there from New York is to fly into Kansas City and drive about an hour south. Once, minutes before our arrival, the boys were getting a bit antsy. Aged two and four at the time, they were bored and staring out the window at pastures on either side of the winding two-lane highway. Suddenly, Johan piped up, “Cow! Cow!” For a second I thought he was saying, “Ow!” and had hurt himself, so I whirled around and stared into the backseat expecting blood and tears, or at least a scratch. I saw instead two boys transfixed by a big black animal at the fence, almost in the ditch. François chimed in, “ That’s not a zoo, that’s a farm! Can we go and milk the cows?” Although we didn’t stop right then and there, I think every kid should have the chance to go fly-fishing with hip waders, milk a cow, pick berries (and eat them) and dive into a brackish pond where their feet get really muddy and gooey on the bottom. New York has lots of excitement, but it does not offer the opportunity to ride a kiddie quad bike down the center of a residential street safely. We can pitch a tent in the backyard, but unless we download them onto the iPod, there are no bear noises.

As much as we love the city and everything it has to offer, we think it’s important to balance that with opportunities to get out into big open areas where no one’s around. That really does seem like the difference—it’s very easy to take the kids to Central Park or Prospect Park and let them chase squirrels and tourists, but you still have loads of other humans around you. In rural areas we can let the boys ramble through a meadow and the only living things they’ll see are birds, worms and ants. Although it takes a little legwork, there are plenty of options to be had outside the city. Some involve short drives or train rides away and others are a bit farther, but with young children, it really doesn’t take much to change their reality for a weekend and allow them to experience something new. To a three-year-old, the difference between Brooklyn and East Hampton is almost as much as Earth to the Moon. We were aware that by choosing to raise our children in New York we would be thousands of miles away from our mothers and extended family. Going to Granny’s house involves vacation time and an airplane trip versus a quick drive across town. So in our case, we discovered how important it is to build a “chosen family” in New York—friends to whom we would happily entrust our children and take care of theirs (or their pets).

Urban Giraffes in Sydney

Something I’ve noticed as an adult is that in busier cities, people tend to value what little vacation time they have that much more. Memorial Day weekend, for example, meant nothing more to me as a kid than a parade on Monday. As a grown-up living life at 100 miles per hour, this weekend has grown into an annual event involving a trip out of the city, activities for children and adults and a real breath of fresh air following a busy May. A great way to combine a break from the everyday with expanding your kids’ horizons is to visit friends outside the city. For the last five years we’ve spent Memorial Day weekend in the Hamptons, either renting a house or staying with friends. Last year we stayed with friends who have a house with a large yard, a pool and tennis courts, all things we don’t have in the city. The boys disappeared into the pool on Saturday morning, surfaced for a quick lunch and didn’t return until bedtime. Our hosts had a metal detector and hid coins in the grass, which the boys happily hunted and found. To a five-year-old, a quarter can be a treasure!

Other trips we’ve made have been to visit high school and college friends, or relatives, who live in completely different parts of the country or other countries altogether. My aunt and uncle’s Texas home has a beautiful outdoor kitchen, something that would never be feasible or practical in New York but is absolutely fascinating to the boys (and us for that matter). Though they live in the middle of Dallas, my cousins walked barefoot with the boys to the local park without any fear of things the bottoms of their feet might encounter. And although the Atlantic Ocean is way too cold for swimming off Long Island in the spring, it’s nice and windy, which is perfect for flying kites on the beach. The boys’ Australian cousins were mesmerized by François and Johan’s casual ease at using the subway at home in New York, and when we visited them last year their then five-year-old cousin, Ties, gave a very succinct explanation of which snakes are OK to pick up and which ones “could make you die, so don’t touch them.”

If one were to psychoanalyze city dwellers’ vacation choices, I think that there are two types of people who live in New York. Those who want to be in the center of the action at all times, and those who love action for the most part but also need to get away occasionally and do nothing, see no one and just breathe. That’s why we like to travel to places during low season, and another reason why the Hamptons in the summer is fun but can be tiring. Heading to the places like the Caribbean at the end of the season means we can take advantage of everything without having to wait in line or deal with extra people—it’s a true social retreat.

Simon and I were both lucky to have experienced both rural and urban settings as children, and did worry a little bit about raising our two boys in the middle of one of the biggest cities in the world. While there are issues that may arise as they get older, we’ve so far been very happy with our choice.

TOP 10 DIFFERENCES WE
VE NOTICED BETWEEN CITY KIDS AND COUNTRY KIDS:

10. Country kids know their way around a toolshed. Our nephew may not be able to carry a heavy suitcase up our stoop when he visits
but he can stealthily swing open a 50-pound shed door in about 10 seconds, find an open box of matches and start lighting them
9. Our two city kids don’t know what to do with an unleashed dog Despite being told to stay on his side of a fenced in area where two dogs were roaming free François jumped over to look at the doghouse and soon found himself pinned against the wall being licked to death by an overly friendly Labradoodle
8. Kids in the country don
t run through tall grass without at least thinking about putting on shoes. Johan started to go tearing through a field and his year old cousin screamed “Stop! Put on your snake boots!”
7. Suburban kids know they
ll get lost on the winding roads if they leave their driveway. Some of our visiting underage pals have commented how easy it is to get around New York City because “the streets are straight.”
6. City kids can get a cab faster than most grown-ups. Even jaded cab drivers think it
s cute when a four-year-old screams
“Taxi!” from his father
s shoulders
5. When country kids visit us in the city they want to go to the 24-hour deli across the street five times a day Why? Because it’s there
4. In the country gun safety involves going to classes whereas in the city it involves telling a police officer if you see one.
3. When those same Aussie cousins visit NYC the kids are shocked that we only drive the car about once a week Which begs the question why do we even have one?
2. City kids are used to being taken to all sorts of restaurants and quickly learn what to order in each. François used to complain loudly if taken out for Thai, until he learned to order Pad Thai with just noodles and sauce, no chicken.
1. Whether there are three kid friendly activities available in a small town on any given day or 32 options in our neighborhood, you can count on all the kids to whine and say “There’s never anything to do!”