Lions and Tigers and Bears (25 page)

“Are you all right?” he asked.

Lindy bit her lip, determined not to cry. “I’m fine, just tired. I’ve got to get some rest. My plane leaves tomorrow afternoon.”

“I know.”

“Will I…will I see you before I go?”

“I have to see Cade tomorrow morning, but I should be back before you go.”

She nodded. “Rafe, did I…?”

“Did you what?”

She shook her head. “Nothing. Goodnight,” she murmured huskily past the tears that clogged her throat. She turned and went quickly into her cabin before she lost control, never seeing the hand that reached out to her.

* * * * *

For his part, Rafe had lowered himself into a hell of his own making and was struggling to find a way out. The knowledge that Lindy loved him was so exquisitely wonderful that it made his heart ache—while it also terrified him down to his socks. He went to his cabin and dropped onto the bed, questions circling endlessly in his mind.

What had happened to all his vows of celibacy and his determination never to see his curse passed on to another generation? He knew the answer to that—Lindy had happened. Not only had he not remained celibate, she might even at this moment be carrying his child. His mind boggled at the prospect. How could he have done that? Granted, she’d made him see that his ability wasn’t the curse he’d always believed it was, but still, did he have the right to force it on another human being, his own child?

And what if something should happen to him? What if he couldn’t be there for his child the way his mother had been unable to be there for him? The thought was an exercise in pure torment. Would Lindy be able to handle guiding their son or daughter into the gift, or would she withdraw from their lives the way his father had withdrawn from his? Was it even fair to expect her to handle such a thing?

There were so many questions to be considered that on their return trip he had distanced himself from Lindy in an effort to think clearly. Just being near her had a way of clouding his mind and made it impossible to think about anything but holding her and touching her, feeling the warmth of her in his arms and reveling in the unparalleled joy she brought him. While this was a very pleasant and desirable occupation, with all the serious issues he had to consider, he knew it wasn’t fair to indulge his physical desires until things were settled between them.

Which brought him to another problem—Lindy herself. Although she had declared her love for him, he’d seen the fear in her eyes when he’d been lost in the red haze of rage that had filled him upon finding his mother’s killer. What if he hadn’t heard her pleas? What if he’d injured her? Was she really as accepting of his animal side as she seemed to be, or was she just fooling herself for the sake of new love?

Worst of all, he knew that his withdrawal was hurting her. But what could he do? Frustration and anger mixed with hope and desire and his own love for her until he felt he was going mad with it.

Unable to stay still a moment longer, he left his cabin and walked back to the Lodge. He went to the equipment room and retrieved the tent and other supplies they’d dropped off on their return, then went to the kitchen and pulled his sketchbook out of his pack.

He opened the page in the book that bore Lindy’s image and hesitated, thinking he might leave it for her, but then a more urgent idea took root. He pulled his mother’s necklace from under his shirt and over his head. His fingers traced the familiar contours of the beads and especially the carved bear that was the heart of it. Ripping a piece of paper from his sketch book, he wrote
For Lindy
in his bold script, and, leaving the note with the necklace draped over it on the table, picked up his pack and walked out into the night.

* * * * *

After half an hour spent sitting on the shower floor crying while the water cascaded over her, Lindy finally dragged herself out, dried off and threw herself naked into bed while pulling the covers over herself and Humphrey. Never had she felt so grateful for her bear’s familiar comfort than at that moment.

Exhausted, she lay unblinking in the dark while disjointed thoughts swam through her head. Nothing made sense, only the deep and painful feeling of loss that left her feeling hollow inside. Her last thought, as she drifted to sleep, was that she’d never risk her heart again.

Eleven hours later she woke with a headache, swollen eyelids and eyes that stung with every bleary blink. She stumbled into the bathroom and into the shower, turning the water on as hot as she could stand. Afterward, feeling halfway human again, she dressed, packed her things and left them and Humphrey sitting on her bed while she walked to the Lodge.

She found Nancy and David sitting at the table and she took a cup out of the cupboard, poured herself some coffee and joined them. After an exchange of good mornings, she asked casually, “Where is everyone?”

“Sandy and Paul are still out in the field, they’re not scheduled to be back for a couple of days now,” David told her. “They asked me to tell you how much they enjoyed meeting you and that you had their votes to come back anytime you liked.”

Lindy smiled. “That’s nice of them, please be sure to thank them for me.” She waited on tenterhooks for news of the one person she really wanted to hear about.

“Rafe’s not here either, he left last night or early this morning. I know he had to see Cade, but he took his pack and a tent. I don’t look to see him for a few days,” David said in a gently apologetic voice.

“He left this for you,” Nancy said quietly, and presented Lindy with his note and the necklace.

Lindy nodded, feeling frozen inside. It was over. After yesterday she should have given up, but hope had a way of keeping you hanging on until there was just nothing left. And now she knew.

She took a deep breath and put the necklace on, folding the note and tucking it inside her pocket. “Please be sure to thank him, too. He was a very good guide.” She looked at her watch. “Well, I’m all packed, I guess we should be going if I’m going to make my flight.”

David agreed and went out to bring the truck around, leaving Lindy and Nancy to say their goodbyes.

“What happened out there, Lindy?” Nancy asked, concern written on her face.

Lindy smiled sadly. “You were right, he
is
worth the work, but I guess he doesn’t think
I
am.”

“Oh honey, don’t say that,” Nancy admonished, giving her a hug. “I saw the way he looked at you, there’s something there, don’t give up.”

“There’s nothing to give up, Nancy, he’s made that perfectly clear.” David came in to tell her the truck was ready, and Lindy gave Nancy another hug. “Thank you for everything, most of it was pretty good,” she teased half-heartedly.

David followed her to her cabin and carried her luggage back to the truck. Watching him while holding Humphrey in her arms, Lindy came to a quick decision and made a little side trip before joining him at the truck. She hopped inside, waved goodbye to Nancy and settled back, closing her eyes, determined to put this experience behind her. With that in mind, as she idly chatted with David, she set her thoughts on her company and the work she’d have waiting for her when she returned.

* * * * *

It was mostly dark, with soft light just beginning to make its appearance on the horizon, but Rafe could see perfectly well. He stared out over the meadow, his thoughts at rest, not because he’d solved anything, but from sheer exhausted confusion. For the past few days he’d had little rest and no peace at all. Missing Lindy made it impossible for him to eat or sleep with any kind of enthusiasm. Staring sightlessly into space seemed to have become his favorite occupation and it was how Cade found him.

“She’s gone,” he said, sitting down on the log next to Rafe. It wasn’t a question.

“What makes you say that?”

“You’re here alone, mooning over her.”

“I’m not
mooning
over her.”

“A courageous man never runs from the truth. I know you’re no coward.”

Rafe sighed. “All right, I’m mooning over her, but it’s the right thing to do.”

“It’s the right thing to make yourself, and the other half of your soul, miserable? I’m glad I’m not a bear,” Cade said with conviction.

“Oh?”

“A wolf would never be so foolish.”

“It’s not foolish, I’m protecting her.”

“To deny your life is foolish, no matter how much you talk yourself into believing that you’re doing what’s best for someone else.”

“You don’t understand,” Rafe retorted angrily.

“I think I do. No one can predict the future, Rafe, but to run from life is wrong. You may save yourself some hurt, but all you’ll end up with is regret. I prefer to chance the hurt, the rewards can be beyond your wildest dreams.”

Rafe was silent for a time then admitted grudgingly, “You’re pretty damn smart…for a wolf.”

Cade threw back his head and laughed. “Go get your mate, cub. I expect to see you back here with her very soon.”

The sun chose that moment to peek above the horizon, highlighting the sky with a palette of color. “It’s going to be a beautiful day,” Rafe murmured, before he stood, stretched and strode into his campsite, quickly and efficiently packing his gear. By the time he’d finished, Cade was gone. Rafe grinned and laughed like a man newly released from prison. He set off at a swift pace, a new confidence to his step.

* * * * *

The intercom buzzed.

“What is it, Cin?” Lindy sat in her office chair, staring out the window.

“There’s someone here to see you.”

“Tell whoever it is that I’m busy. I don’t want to be disturbed.”

“Not even by me?”

She gasped and swung around, her entire being electrified by that familiar voice. She was surprised to see only Humphrey sitting in the partially open doorway. Rising from her chair, Lindy walked toward the door, watching as it began to slowly swing open.

Rafe stood in the open doorway, a tentative smile on his face. Dressed in black jeans, a white shirt and a black leather jacket, he was more devastatingly handsome than ever. Lindy felt her heart racing as it tried to make a run for her throat.

He reached down, picked up Humphrey, stepped in and closed the door behind him. “He missed you. All he could talk about day and night was Lindy this and Lindy that. The poor guy couldn’t eat or sleep. I thought maybe it would be for the best if I brought him back to you, but…you see, I’ve discovered I can’t live without him. Do you think maybe we could share?”

Eyes filling with tears, she furiously blinked them back, her lips curving in a beatific smile. “I think that could be arranged.”

Setting Humphrey down on a nearby chair, Rafe walked slowly across the room “Of course that would mean that we’d have to be close, very
very
close.”

Lindy nodded with mock seriousness. “If you think that’s for the best.”

He stopped in front of her. “That would be the very best.” He opened his arms and she flew into them, nearly taking them both off their feet.

Rafe staggered then laughed joyfully, swinging her around before kissing her passionately. He finally let her up for air and put his forehead against hers. “I love you, Lindy. Marry me. Have babies with me.”

“Little bear cubs?”

“We only go cubby at puberty, remember?”

“Oh yeah. Still, I’m glad you want to have babies.”

Rafe stilled and picked her up setting her down on the edge of her desk. He wedged himself between her thighs. “Are you pregnant, sweetheart?”

Lindy shook her head. “No. But if you go lock my door, maybe we could fix that.” She waggled her eyebrows at him.

“Now there’s the bold and brazen woman I remember.” Rafe crossed the room with long strides, locked the door and started back, but paused where Humphrey was seated and turned him so that he was facing away from the desk. “Take a nap, Humphrey, we’ll take you out for ice cream later.”

As he returned to her, Lindy gave him a narrow-eyed look. “Did you have to do that? I can’t do it now, not with Humphrey in the room.”

Rafe moved between her thighs and firmly grasped her hips, holding her as he nudged his rising erection against her. His mouth moved to her ear and he whispered, “Are you sure?” before sliding his tongue in to do a sensuous tango.

Moaning at the shivers that slid up her spine, she squirmed against him and gave in “Okay, okay, I guess I can grin and…”

“Don’t even think about finishing that thought.”

“No? I really can’t
bear
to leave a sentence unfinished.”

“I’m warning you.”

“Just
bear
with me.”

“
Lindy
…”

“I’m just
baring
my thoughts to you.”

“I swear, Lindy, just one more…”

“Okay, okay. Rafe? If we take our clothes off, we’ll both be
bare.
”

There was a short pause, then a huskily growled, “Now that one I can live with.”

About the Author

Having been an avid reader of romance for years, and being possessed of an overactive imagination, Kate decided only recently to try her hand at writing. She discovered that, like reading, writing romance has become addictive. Whether writing about werewolves and otherworldly creatures or contemporary gay/erotic romance, she has found the perfect outlet and is thrilled to be part of the Ellora's Cave family.

Kate lives in a turn-of-the-century house located on three acres in the midst of Indiana farm country. Keeping her company is her family, dogs, and other assorted pets.

Kate welcomes mail from readers. You can write to her c/o Ellora’s Cave Publishing at 1337 Commerce Drive, #13, Stow, Ohio 44224.