Authors: Barbara Huffert
“Guy.” Tori flung open the door and was out on the porch without thinking about what she was doing. Her bare feet slipped in the fresh snow and she would have fallen down the steps if Guy’s strong arms hadn’t caught her.
“Slow down, tiger.” He scooped her off her feet and carried her back inside, kicking the door closed behind them. “You could have just turned on your porch light and waved. You didn’t have to come out and get me.”
“You’re here,” she mumbled into his chest. “You’re really here.”
“Yes, I’m here.” He set her on her feet.
“Don’t let go.”
“I won’t. I’ll hold you forever if you want me to.”
“Guy.” Tori’s sobs broke as she wrapped her arms around his waist without giving him a chance to take his coat off.
Guy shrugged out of the sleeves one arm at a time, letting his coat fall where they stood. He backed them to one of the overstuffed chairs and, with gentle pressure, urged her to release her hold enough for him to sit down, pulling her on top of him as he sat. She didn’t seem to notice that he arranged her so he could surround her as much as possible.
It felt like forever before Tori’s tears ended. When they did, she became aware of how he was whispering softly while he cuddled her.
“I really don’t cry all the time like this. I hardly ever cry at all.”
“Then you were due. I remember asking my father once why my sisters were always crying.” Guy tried to distract her. “I think I was about twelve. I was the middle child, the only boy with four sisters and my youngest sister had just gotten her first period. She was only ten but they all matured young. Between them and my mom there were only a few days a month when one of them wasn’t hormonal. Well, Dad took me out to the garage. That’s where we always went for our man-to-man talks. He spent the afternoon giving me a very explicit explanation of everything female as he knew it. My father is a very insightful, intuitive man and I can’t tell you how often I’ve drawn on something from that conversation. For instance, Dad said that sometimes things are clearer after a good cry. He made a point of stressing that that applied to everyone, not just females even though some men weren’t secure enough to let themselves cry.”
“Are you?”
“Secure enough to cry? Definitely.”
“When?”
“When my grandparents passed on. When my sister, Terese, she’s Todd’s wife, had her miscarriages, two of them. When Barry told me he knew Carla was the one for him. When—”
“Wait, why?”
“Why did Barry’s happiness make me break down? Because he’d found what I was still searching for. Don’t get me wrong. I couldn’t have been more pleased for him. It didn’t stop me from being envious and feeling sorry for myself.
“I grew up in a big affectionate family who all believe that there is a perfect match for everyone and when you meet, you’ll know right away. My oldest sister, Marie, met her husband in third grade and there was never any question that they wouldn’t always be together.
“Todd’s car broke down on the highway when I was fifteen and working in my uncle’s garage after school. He had to wait overnight for one of the parts and we’d spent a good few hours talking so I invited him home for supper. He and Terese wound up talking all night on the porch swing. In the morning, before he left he asked my dad’s permission to visit often because he intended to marry her when she graduated from high school. I could tell you plenty more stories about various cousins and friends but you get the idea.”
Tori felt her heart race at the sudden thought that she wanted to be the one for him and rapidly changed the subject. “Why did you come here tonight?”
“I told you on the phone. I was sleeping and then I wasn’t. I woke up and couldn’t shake the feeling that you were scared. Did you have another nightmare? Is that why you turned on all the lights?”
“Yes.”
“Want to talk about it?” She shivered. “You don’t have to, Tori. I’m sorry. I don’t want to upset you.”
“What?”
“You started trembling when I asked if you wanted to talk about it.”
“Oh.” Tori blushed and fought the urge to hide her face in his shoulder. “It’s not that. I’m just a little cold. Or the part of me that’s not against you is. The rest is nice and warm.”
Guy hid a grin. “Yeah, now that you said that it does feel chilly in here. Maybe I should check your furnace.”
“No. I turn the heat down when I go to bed because I like lots of covers. You called before I turned it up and then I got sidetracked.”
Guy was rubbing his hands over her exposed skin. “And your nightwear isn’t designed for warmth although I must say how much I like it.”
Tori glanced down at her shorts and tank top and realized how well-defined her stiffened nipples were in the flimsy cotton of the tight pink shirt.
“Oh God,” she groaned.
“Christ, could I have said anything more inappropriate? Hey, at least I haven’t lost my mind entirely or I’d be touching them instead of just wishing I were.”
At his declaration, Tori felt the peaks tighten even more. She watched his glance drop and knew he’d seen the change. When his gaze returned to hers, she saw that his eyes had darkened. Wordlessly, she caught one of his hands and drew it to her breast, pressing herself against his palm. For a long moment, he cupped her.
“Guy.” Tori made his name sound like a plea.
With a sigh, Guy slid his hand to her shoulder and rested his forehead against hers. “You could tempt a dead man.”
“But not you, huh?”
“Oh, I’m plenty tempted. If you don’t believe me, shift your hip and you’ll be able to feel just how tempted I am. As much as I hate to do it, I’m going to beg you to go put on a robe or some sweats or anything less revealing, not that it’ll do much good now that I’ve seen you like this.”
“But—”
“No, Tori, don’t. I know it would be pure heaven, spending the next month exploring your body, after which we’d spend the following year making love in every way imaginable but that’s not something we can start tonight.”
“Not even if I tell you I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anyone?”
“Oh Christ.” Guy ran his thumb along her collarbone. “Don’t do this, Tori, please. I’m trying to be decent and not take advantage of the situation. You say you want me now but what about tomorrow? You’re the one who questioned my attraction to you, remember? I won’t do something that you may regret later. You’re too important for me to chance that.”
Tori studied his eyes and saw more emotions than she expected. “All right, Guy. You wouldn’t be taking advantage but okay. I won’t beg you to show me if those big strong hands of yours feel as good as I think they will.”
“Tori.”
“Just trying to make you feel better by not being the only one who says inappropriate things.”
“Thanks, I think.” Guy stood her on her feet. “Go put on more clothes and stop looking so damn desirable.”
“You’ll be here?”
“Until you tell me to leave.”
“Do you really want to stay and talk?” Tori asked when she returned, dressed in her most comfortable sweats and a heavy pair of socks. Not looking at Guy, she raised the thermostat and turned off most of the lights.
“Absolutely. I wouldn’t have asked if I wasn’t willing.”
“Want some coffee or cocoa or something?”
“Cocoa please,” he answered, following her into the kitchen. “Cozy,” he said. “Friendly, like the living room.”
“Thanks.” Tori was unreasonably pleased by his comment. “That’s why I bought this place. The whole thing feels warm. Not at all like the house I grew up in.”
“No?”
“Not even close. Picture the quintessential Beverly Hills mansion and the one I lived in was ten times more so. Everything in it was about image. My parents have a salon that caters to the in-crowd. If you’re not one of the crème-de-la-crème you could wait months for an appointment if you even managed to get one. The décor there and in the house shifted with whatever was trendiest at the moment. Whenever they redecorated, they’d have an intimate soiree with, oh, fifty or sixty of whoever was on top that week. That way everyone knew how with the times my parents were.”
“Doesn’t sound like you enjoyed it.”
“I hated it. The house was cold and impersonal and the people were stuck up and phony. My brother and sister loved giving command performances for the A-list but I dreaded every minute of it. After I proved to be totally incompetent in everything having anything to do with the salon, my parents banished me from all future events so they wouldn’t be reminded of what an embarrassment I was.”
“Ouch. What did you do?”
“Let’s just say that I couldn’t have been more of a disaster if I’d been intentionally trying to sabotage them. The final straw was when I doused someone’s head with depilatory instead of perm solution. If my brother hadn’t walked by and smelled it, there probably would have been a lawsuit.”
“So how did you wind up here, if you don’t mind my asking?”
“Dumb luck more than anything.” Tori added a handful of marshmallows to their cocoa and joined Guy at the table. “When I graduated my parents informed me I was going to study accounting. They decided I could be useful by taking over the books and staying far away from the clientele. When I tried to object, they issued an ultimatum. Do things their way or be disowned. They tacked on the condition that if I persisted in defying them, I’d have one hour to collect my things and whatever I couldn’t carry with me would be forfeited. They said they’d allow me time to think about it before I gave them my decision because they wanted to be sure I understood that if I left I would not be able to change my mind. I would never be permitted inside either the house or the salon ever again. Twenty minutes later, I was on my way to the bus station. I wanted to get as far away as I could so I bought a ticket to Portland, Maine. The bus stopped here long enough for people to grab something to eat. I saw an ad for an assistant librarian on the bulletin board and didn’t get back on the bus.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“About what?”
“Your parents. How could they treat you like that? You’re their child, for Christ’s sake.”
“It’s not like I ever fitted with them.”
“That shouldn’t matter to parents. Family is family, even when you have different interests. You don’t throw away your child because she chooses not to work in the family business.”
“Maybe not your family but mine did. We weren’t ever much of a family. I didn’t even know what a family should feel like until Diana took me along to Carla’s. It’s like seasons, Guy. You can’t miss what you never had.”
“It was still wrong of them. I can’t imagine living like that. Just wait until you meet my family. You’ll see why I’m having so much trouble with this.”
Tori fidgeted with her mug. “I think I’m ready to tell you what I left out Saturday if that’s okay.”
“Sure. Whatever you like.”
With a deep breath, Tori repeated the conversation that she suspected was about her. Guy’s expression got darker and darker. By the time she’d finished, he looked ready to explode.
Not saying anything, Guy rose from the table to stare out the window, gripping the counter so tightly his knuckles were white.
Dreading his response less than the tense silence, Tori said, “Please say something.”
Guy spun around so fast he scared her. When he leaned over her bracing one hand on the back of her chair and one on the table, Tori flinched. Instantly, Guy dropped to his knees and wrapped his arms around her.
“I’m sorry. Christ, I’m so sorry. I won’t let them get to you. They won’t lay a finger on you. Ever.” His voice was tight. “I’ll stand guard outside your door if that’s what it takes to protect you. Better yet, you can come stay with me.”
“Guy.”
“I have a spare room, so it’s okay. They won’t know where to find you.”
“Guy, stop. He’s in my head. It won’t matter where I am. Besides, that’s the least of it.”
“What do you mean?”
Tori let out a small sob. “They’re real. Don’t you see? They chopped that woman in half for me. They killed all of them to impress me. It’s my fault they’re dead. I should have stopped them.”
“How? Listen to me, Tori. It is not your fault. No, wait. One, just because one dream is real doesn’t mean they all are. Two, you said they never talked about where they were.”
“What if I just missed it?”
“You didn’t. If they had given you any hint of where they were you would have checked the papers. I know you would have. Three, even though you have some bizarre mental link, they obviously aren’t paying any attention to you. They can’t be or they’d never choose killing as a way to impress you.”
“How do you know that? What if there’s something inside me that is subconsciously urging them to do it?”
“There’s not, Tori. I know that and so do you so just stop it.”
“But how do you know?”
“Because I do. And so does Diana since she’s an excellent judge of character. She never would have given you a chance if she hadn’t sensed you were a good person.”
“You’re really sure?”
“Without a doubt. Now get that thought out of your head. I mean it. Tori, you are not capable of making someone kill and I’d bet Terese’s daughter’s life on it.”
“God, don’t say that!”
“Why not? I want you to understand how positive I am that you are not a killer. Correct me if I’m wrong here but you could have sold the story of your parents’ ultimatum to one of those gossip rags and knocked them down a peg or two, right?” She nodded. “Did you even consider it?”
“No.”
“If you didn’t lash out at the people who hurt you like that then there isn’t a snowball’s chance in hell of you killing a stranger for kicks.”
“Yeah,” she finally agreed. “The rest happened too, Guy. I can feel it.”
“I hate to ask this of you but will you tell me what you remember about the others?” Tori paled but nodded. “I want to give Todd a list. He can research them and hopefully find a pattern.”
“You believe me?”
“Unfortunately, yes, but I hope to hell you’re wrong.”
“Me too, but I’m not.” She sighed deeply and pushed his arms away. “I’ll be right back.”
Tori returned to the kitchen clutching several notebooks. “I don’t know why but when the nightmares started, I made sure I wrote them down.” Hesitating while she searched his face, Tori finally extended them toward him.