Lingerie Wars (The Invertary books) (6 page)

Something Dougal said made Lake's trained suspicions stand to attention. He flicked through the photos of the accident until he came to the one he wanted. His lips thinned as he magnified the image as much as possible. There was definitely another set of tyre tracks on the road where Kirsty's car had plunged down the ravine. He punched a number into his phone and waited.

"John," he said by way of hello. "I need you to look into something for me."

Kirsty marched back up the hill from the pub to her flat, all the while cursing the audacity of Lake Benson. As she crossed the road to her home, she spotted something move in the lane between Betty's shop and the fishing tackle shop. Curiosity got the better of her, so she detoured to see what was going on.

"Billy!" she said when he spotted the plumber.

He jumped straight up in the air.

"Kirsty, I almost died."

Billy grabbed his chest with his hand and huffed.

"Too many pies and cakes." Kirsty pointed at him.

"Here I was thinking it was stress from being blackmailed into illegal activity."

Kirsty wandered up the narrow alley towards him. His tool kit was open at his feet and there was a huge wrench thing hanging from a pipe.

"Blackmailed?"

He gave her a look that said he wasn't fooled by her profession of ignorance.

"Don't pretend you don't know, Kirsty Campbell. Mum's got a bug in her ear as big as the Loch Ness monster. All I'm hearing is that we're at war with the English. I think she's making badges in her basement with the other women in the knitting group. Apparently they're mobilising!"

Kirsty felt the hair on her neck stand on end. If the Knit Or Die group were sneaking around that meant only one thing—her mother was involved in her war. Come morning she'd be having a word with Margaret Campbell.

"But blackmail?" she asked as Billy fidgeted with the pipe.

"Mum said she'll tell Mandy that I went to a football game, when I told her I was doing a job in Glasgow."

"Ah," Kirsty said.

She had to bite the inside of her cheek to stop from telling him that the whole town, including his wife Mandy, already knew he'd been at the game. Mandy used the time he was gone to get her hair done and buy some lingerie. As Billy's mother well knew—she was the one who babysat.

"So, what are you doing?" she said instead.

"I'm making sure that your English guy doesn't have any water in the morning. Or for the rest of the week." He pointed at some valve thing in the wall. "This here is the thing you turn when you want to shut off the water to the house."

"Does everyone have one of those?" Kirsty said as she studied it.

"Yes. They do." There was a very silent "idiot" attached to the end of that sentence.

"And you're doing what to it?"

"I've turned it off and I'm making sure it stays off. If he wants it fixed he's going to need a blowtorch and some extra piping."

"Fantastic."

She thumped her old classmate on the back. She hadn't been the one to instigate the illegal activity, but she sure as heck wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth. Or whatever that stupid saying was.

"I don't like this," Billy told her. "It's probably illegal, but definitely childish."

"Thanks for the reprimand. It isn't your business at stake."

"It will be if anyone finds out that I'm using my powers for evil and not for good."

"He's English," she said, as though that excused all sorts of questionable behaviour.

"I also heard that he's ex-army. Don't those guys have muscles? Big muscles. And aren't they trained to kill? I'm taking my life in my hands here. If it wasn't for the fact that Mandy would nag me about the game, I wouldn't be here. I don't have a death wish."

"Point taken," Kirsty said. "Seriously, though, I doubt Lake is any threat to anyone. Sure he has muscles, but they don't look anywhere near as big as Sylvester Stallone's, and Stallone is an old guy. Plus, aren't there all sorts of army guys? He might be one of the ones that drove trucks, or worked in the kitchen. I think you can breathe easy. I'm pretty sure your life isn't under threat. I mean, who even knows you're here?"

"I do," said a voice behind her.

Kirsty and Billy froze.

"Want to come out here and tell me what's going on?"

"Crap. It's Caroline. Bloody hell."

"I heard that," Caroline snapped. "Watch your language, Billy."

"Oh no, she knows it's me. I'm out of here," Billy hissed at Kirsty.

"I'm waiting," Caroline told them.

"Are you done? I can stall," Kirsty hissed.

"Done. You take the wicked witch, I'll take the back door."

With a sigh, Kirsty walked towards Caroline while Billy packed up his tools in a rush and ran for the back of the building.

"You've scared the life out of Billy," she told her best friend. "Again."

Caroline smiled primly.

"That's what happens when you skulk." She cocked her head to the side, making her shoulder-length, straw-coloured bob sway. "You've got colour in your cheeks. You must be up to no good."

Kirsty smiled at her friend—the self-appointed morality police of Invertary.

"Come on, I'll make you a cup of tea."

They walked back across the road and up the stairs to the flat above Kirsty's shop. As soon as she opened the door she could feel the tension ease from her. Lavender-coloured walls, pale blue sofas and soft grey cushions. The whole flat was done in a variety of muted, cold colours, from the dusky pink in the kitchen to the soft blue in the bedroom. It was soothing.

"What's Billy up to, anyway?" Caroline said behind her.

"I'm not sure I should tell you. You'd feel obligated to do something about it."

"Something illegal, then," Caroline said with disappointment.

"Not really."

"How can it be not really illegal?"

Kirsty smiled at her friend. All through their childhood, Caroline's tendency to see the world in black and white got her into a lot of trouble. People like to be in the grey area, and they don't want someone who disapproves hanging around to see them do it. She led Caroline into the kitchen and flicked on the kettle.

"Mum and her cronies have mobilised and are sabotaging Lake on my behalf," she said.

Caroline's hand flew to her mouth at the shock of it all.

"That's just wrong," she said.

"Probably," Kirsty told her. "But not quite illegal."

"Are you going to talk to her about it, stop it?"

"I was thinking I'd ignore it for a wee while. I mean, why ruin her fun? She probably sees herself as the leader of the resistance or something."

"But it's not right."

"Try not to think about it," Kirsty told her.

That one sentence was what got Caroline through school without someone beating on her. It took a long time to convince her that the world wasn't going to live her way, no matter how much she approved, or disapproved, of it.

"Fine. It's your war. I'll mind my own business." Kirsty couldn't help but hear a very loud "for now" at the end of that statement. It made her smile.

"I was looking for you," Caroline said as she sat perched on the edge of one of the kitchen stools. "Since the story was in the paper I've been hearing all sorts of things about Lake Benson, and I'm worried. What's going on with this man? Do I need to do something?"

"Like what?" Kirsty smiled as she reached for the mugs. "Ban him from the library?"

Caroline pursed her lips.

"I can get a petition together and run him out of town. Or I can look into his permits to make sure that everything he's doing is above board. I've never considered it before now, but I'm pretty sure that if I dig deep enough I'll find some historical significance in that horrific building of Betty's to stop him from renovating."

Kirsty gave her friend a quick hug as she waited for the kettle to boil.

"Thanks, Caroline," she said. "I keep forgetting that in the land of paperwork you are queen."

Caroline frowned, obviously worried.

"I want to help. I don't like the things I'm hearing. There was a lot of gossip in the library this morning, I had to say 'shush' about a million times."

"Gossip about what?"

Kirsty reached for the biscuit tin, which she kept on the top shelf to dissuade herself from opening it. It wasn't working. She needed a higher shelf. Caroline's neck was red now, too.

"Spit it out," Kirsty told her as she handed over the Tunnock's Tea Cakes.

"Well..." Caroline hesitated enough to let Kirsty know that she was picking and choosing her words carefully. "There's a lot of talk about him wanting to be the only lingerie shop in town."

She bit into her biscuit. Kirsty waited her out. Caroline would tell her the rest in her own good time. It took a whole biscuit and several gulps of tea before she started talking again.

"It seems that there are rather a lot of women who think you should..." She cleared her throat as her cheeks went luminous pink. "Ahem, 'jump his bones' was the phrase most often used."

Kirsty's jaw fell open.

"People are saying I should sleep with Lake?"

"I don't think sleep was implied," Caroline said. "Mainly they meant, ah..."

"I know what they meant," Kirsty told her, and watched her sigh with relief. "What I don't know is why they would say that. He's English, he's annoying and he wants to ruin me. Why on earth would anyone want me to sleep with the man?"

"Mrs Cameron said it would do you good," Caroline offered to be helpful, but Kirsty could see that her friend was as mystified as she was. "Mrs Kennedy said that he brings out your passionate streak."

"He brings out my homicidal maniac streak, more like!"

"I'm only telling you what I heard. You know how much I hate doing that, so don't kill the messenger, okay?"

"I know, sweetie." Kirsty was well aware that Caroline would rather die than gossip.

"I'm not going to sleep with the man." She felt she had to say it out loud.

Caroline sat up straight and pushed her shoulders back.

"I never thought you would."

Although Kirsty had to admit there were thoughts and images creeping into her mind that she really didn't want to be there. All because of that infuriating man.

"He's playing with my mind. He's trying to undermine my thought process so that I can't fight properly. It's a tactic to win the war. It has to be." Her eyes narrowed. "I need to do some research," she said. "Find out what kind of war he's running here."

"Funny you should mention that." Caroline rummaged around in her huge handbag and came out with a large hardback book. "After all the talk in the library, I thought you might need this."

She plonked the book on the counter.
Tactics of War
, the cover said. Kirsty had to laugh.

"Brilliant," she said. "I'll have a read tonight." She hesitated. "There is something else you could help me with."

"Oh, oh, I don't like the sound of that."

Kirsty took a deep breath as her friend's lips pursed with suspicion.

"I want to have a fashion show during the Christmas Market."

"No."

"Come on, Caroline—I need the publicity and I sure as heck need the business. I promise it will be tasteful."

Caroline folded her arms over her grey suit jacket. Kirsty had often wondered where she found all these grey skirt suits that she wore, as Kirsty had yet to see her shop.

"It's not going to happen," Caroline said. "The Christmas Market is about tradition, about family. I don't think a lingerie show fits in with that."

"We can have it after dark, adult time. I promise it won't be titillating in any way, shape or form."

"I don't even like that word. It sounds rude. It won't work Kirsty. Unless..." Kirsty could see from the anxiety in Caroline's eyes that she wanted to help. "Unless it's indoors somewhere and we sell tickets to adults only."

Kirsty shook her head.

"That will make it seem dirty. I don't want people to start thinking that nice underwear is something akin to a sex toy. It's just fashion. Heck, it's only knickers. Come on, Caroline. You know how much I need this."

She watched as her friend's shoulders dropped slightly. She was softening.

"What were you thinking exactly?" she said.

Kirsty grinned.

"I envision a runway down on the main road by the loch, lots of Christmas lights, cool music and a great show. I can give away prizes." She was really getting into it now. "We can have it in the evening, get the food stalls going, make it a real party. What do you think?"

"I think as chairwoman of the Christmas Market I'm going to regret this," Caroline muttered. She pointed at Kirsty. "You promise, on your life, that there won't be anything smutty about the whole thing?"

Kirsty fought the excitement building inside of her as she worked at looking solemn.