Lily's Mistake (18 page)

Drake just mutters something unintelligible in the background. “Like you would accept any addition in this family, mother, if it wasn’t her; it was either Lily or no one.”

I halt in the middle of wiping my tears away. “Patricia said that?” I look at my godmother, questioningly.

Patricia gracefully shrugs. “Something was up with you two in Mexico, but when we came back, I was surprised that Drake had gone back home and left you all alone in the villa. For eight years, we all wondered and watched as you two played hide-and-seek to avoid seeing each other. Your mom and I always wanted you and Drake to end up together. You two are perfect for each other. I can’t understand for the life of me how you two don’t see that. Of course, my brilliant son must’ve done something so irreparable for Lily to have ignored all of us, though.”

Oh, were we that obvious? I hadn’t realized.

“Mom, seriously, do we have to discuss this right now?” Drake starts to pace around the living room looking more stressed out.

My mom turns to me and uses that motherly tone, the one that says she won’t take ‘no comment’ as an answer. “What happened in Mexico, Dear?”

Mom and Patricia look at me expectantly. I sigh and capitulate. “That night when you and Hugh left for Cozumel, I gave Drake my virginity. The next day, I woke up and he had left. When I tried to visit him in Columbia, he sent me an email stating that he’s with someone, that it was serious and so forth. Of course, the rejection hurt me deeply because I had loved him for so long. I didn’t want to date anyone when a lot of guys wanted to go out with me because I was saving myself for Drake. I didn’t want anyone else. So when that happened, I realized that I was naïve and idiotic to believe that he would return my feelings. It obviously didn’t mean anything to him so it was time to let it go. And I did. I realized that life does have more to offer than pining for someone who doesn’t love you back. When Drake and I happened again, this time, it was all just sex. It was what we agreed upon and that’s what it really was.” Mom and Patricia’s expressions are really hilarious. I would’ve laughed if this conversation wasn’t as serious as it is.

I don’t dare look in Drake’s direction. I can feel him burning holes in me, but I don’t have the capacity to look at the man who I once loved with all of my heart and my being.

“Oh dear, that was something I didn’t expect, but I do understand why you don’t want to marry Drake now. You two were in lust and are not in love. Marriage is only for people that are in love and that doesn’t apply to you both. So, it’s best that we just make the best of it and still be a family.” My mom squeezes my hand in understanding.

Patricia on the other hand looks aghast. “How could you treat her so crassly, Drake? I knew you were a playboy, but I never in my life expected my son to treat a woman like a piece of meat, let alone take her virginity and then reject her the next day. I don’t blame Lily at all for her decisions.”

Drake swears and hastily leaves the room. We hear the front door slam one minute and his bike fires up the next. I sigh dejectedly. Had I known today was going to be a house of horrors, I would never have left the bed.

After the disastrous and taxing afternoon talk with Mom and Patricia, I decide to leave ten minutes later. I want to be alone and soothe my nerves, my mind and my heart.

When I get home, I immediately go out on my deck, trying to breathe and think rationally. I stay out and watch the sunset. I reject the idea of calling Masie. I don’t want to hear ‘I told you so’ or better yet, ‘give him another chance’. She will be as undecided as I am.

I still when there is a man walking towards me from afar. As he nears, I realize that it’s Drake looking all rugged. The sunset hits the back of him and he looks too good to be true. When he reaches me, I see how his face is contorted, with what, I don’t know. Pain? Sadness? Rejection?

“I figured you’d be out here, so I took a chance,” he murmurs and sits on the other lounge chair next to me. “So, we’re having a baby, huh? Do you want it? Our baby, I mean?” he rasps out, nervously.

“Of course, I want it. Since Dad died, I always felt like there’s that big gaping hole in me that’s missing. When I found out that I was pregnant, for the first time in years, I felt like I was going to be okay.” I was a Daddy’s girl and when he died so suddenly, I had a hard time dealing with it.

“I’m sorry about last night. You don’t know how many times that situation has been shoved at me—even if it wasn’t mine. It just came out of my mouth. I didn’t sleep much because of it. I really am sorry.” Drake does look remorseful, but too bad.

The damage is done.

“I meant what I said earlier, you don’t need to feel obligated about parenting and such. I know you have a hectic lifestyle and I won’t hold that against you. You have full visitation rights and we can work out something on weekends, if you choose to spend more time with the baby.”

“Wow,” Drake breathes out. “You thought this through that quickly? Did I mean so little to you?” His wounded pride and ego are not mine to save.

Life goes on. I had to realize that once when Drake broke me and I am determined to do it again. “The past doesn’t matter. I’m concentrating on my future now.”

Drake looks at me with profound hurt in his eyes. “How long did it take you to practice saying all that, Lil?”

Not long.

“I am done talking to you, Drake. I’m tired. I will have an ultrasound coming up. I will text you when and where. If you decide to join me, great; if not, I’ll be fine on my own.”

“Like hell I would miss seeing my child.” Drake harrumphs and leaves me alone on my deck.

I feel bad that he’s pissed off, but at the same time, Drake has handled everything so badly since he learned I was pregnant.

From asking me the paternity to blabbering it to my mother firsthand, he’s done everything wrong. Yet, he doesn’t seem to realize what he’s doing to me—hurting me in the process which only makes me more resolved to not forgive him.  If he can’t even understand that he’s doing things wrong, how can I hope for him to make things right?

22

We are in the hospital waiting area for our first ultrasound together and Drake looks anxious. He sighs for the umpteenth time and I grind my teeth together, irritated.

“If you sigh one more time I will murder you. For the love of God calm the heck down, will you?” I glare at him. Drake looks offended from my mild outburst.

“I get that you’re hormonal and all, but don’t bite my head off. I didn’t do anything wrong. I’m just… I don’t know, I guess I’ve never done this before,” he murmurs, sullenly.

Wait, but wasn’t Shannon pregnant before? “You didn’t go with Shannon?”

He shakes his head. “She said it made her uncomfortable to have me in there with her. I had to do what I had to do to make her happy, I guess.” What he spouts out next is completely unexpected. “I guess, now that I think about it, I’m not sure that she was pregnant to begin with. I think Shannon used that so I would marry her.”

If I hadn’t met the woman, I would argue about this, but I have and the woman is wretched, delusional and off her rocker. So, yes, I do agree with Drake on this score. “Good thing that you two didn’t get hitched then. You should thank your lucky stars that I came in at the right moment and saved your sorry ass!”

Drake cocks his head and smiles at me. “Yeah, I do thank them… Every. Single. Day, Lil.”

I wet my lips and look away. I suppose living with Shannon was one giant ball of nightmare. Yeah, he should be thanking those stars.

I’m more than thankful when they call out my name. We’re ushered into a semi-dark room where the female doctor is kind enough to point out everything for us. Drake has tons of questions. The experience is definitely amazing. Our child is a puny thing on that screen, but I already love it with all of my heart.

After thirty minutes or so, we are driving back to my house. “That was totally crazy, don’t you think?” Drake says much to himself, still amazed from the experience.

“Yeah, it was awesome to see it like that,” I murmur. My thoughts are somewhere else. 

I want to be detached from Drake, but he’s making it impossible. I expect him to drop me off once we get to my house, but he follows me inside.

Since my plan was to ignore him, I go upstairs and shut my bedroom door. After a few minutes, I hear him knock.

“Lil?”

I groan. “What?”

“Can I come in?” he asks as he opens the door. “I just wanted to talk.”

More talking, great. “Anything important?”

Drake pauses and sits on the foot of my bed. He waits a few more seconds before he starts, “Ever since the day we were born, we were meant for this. We were meant for each other, but it was my cowardice that made the journey a hell as I tried to fight it tooth and nail.”

Damn, that admission from him hurts. He really doesn’t want me. “Exactly, Drake, that’s my point right there.”

He huffs and gets up pacing, ending up leaning against the wall. “I was a total moron. It was a selfish thing to do, but at that age, it meant commitment and marriage would follow after you’d finished college. Our parents wouldn’t have let us date without pushing us in that direction. I didn’t want that. I wasn’t ready for that, but I am now, Lily. If you just give me another chance. I do want you and the baby.”

I sit up on the bed. “You are going to be a part of his or her life. I’m not going to take that from you.”

“Yeah, but I want it all, with you included, as a family unit. Together.”

Damn it. Fine. “I’ll think about it. That’s all I can tell you at the moment.”

Drake comes over and kisses my forehead. “Thank you. I will work hard to earn your trust. I promise you that.” He leaves after he gives me a beaming smile.

I wake up the next day and find a note on the kitchen counter underneath a big vase of calla lilies along with a hearty breakfast of pancakes, bacon, eggs and a fruit bowl.

I just wanted to do something nice for you and the baby. I’ll be thinking of you.

I smile like an idiot after reading it. I’m lucky enough that I don’t have any morning sickness. Although I do get dizzy spells here and there, it isn’t all that serious. I’ll take dizzy spells anytime over vomiting my guts out.

From then on, I receive breakfast and different type of lilies on a daily basis. I spend most of my time reading baby books about what I should be expecting. Most days, I’m online checking out baby room designs and themes. Yeah, I’m ecstatic to be a mom and with Drake’s breakfast redemption strategy, I am close to just getting over it and giving us both a fair shot.

After a week, I expect my day to go on like the usual, but something jolts me out of bed. I suppose it’s my growling tummy or just my senses are piqued…

In my soft cotton night dress, I groggily make my way downstairs, yawning. I pause when I see Drake in the kitchen cooking. When he feels my presence, he smiles and greets me. “Good morning, Baby Momma. Hungry?”

Very much, yes, I’m so hungry for you. He looks so delicious whistling and cooking in my kitchen, I want him for breakfast. Instead, my sanity snaps me back from dreamland and pushes me forward to get some juice.

“Just go sit. I’ve got you covered. Today’s your day to be lazy. I’m at your service.” He points at my breakfast nook and quickly places a glass of orange juice on the table.

“Thank you.” When I take a refreshing sip, I notice that it’s fresh squeezed juice. “This is delicious. Where did you buy this?” I want to get more.

“I bought the oranges at Whole Foods, but squeezed them myself. You have more in the fridge, Babe.”

I blink a few times. The thought of Drake squeezing oranges makes me hornier than I was originally. What is wrong with me today? I’m just a huge hornball. “Thanks. That’s very thoughtful of you,” I thank him, though I’m a little uncomfortable about where my thoughts are leading.

Drake places pancakes, a Mexican omelet, fresh honey dew slices and strawberries before me. He then slides in the opposite side of the table, folding his arms and looks at me. “You know I’d do anything for you, right? Now go eat and feed my baby, woman.”

I smile and chuck a strawberry at him—which he catches and sexily bites into. The pink juices of the fruit sit deliciously on his lips.
Honey drops,
I think as my eyes glue on to them, hungrily. When his tongue juts out and licks the residue, I bite my bottom lip to stop myself from moaning at the very sight of his pink tongue snaking out. I imagine all sorts of naughty things accompanying that tongue of his.