Lily and the Duke (20 page)

“There’s an ode to your hair on the next page,” Lady Ashford continued, “but we’ll save that for another time.” She took the journal from him, replaced it in the basket, and patted his hand lightly. “Dear boy, do you truly think my daughter could write about your eyes like that if she didn’t love you?”

“She writes that way about everything,” Daniel said. “About crickets chirping, you said so yourself. It’s who she is.”

“I don’t want to rain on your parade,” the countess said, smiling, “because your eyes are quite nice. But they’re green, Your Grace. Simply green. What she sees in them comes from her feelings for you.”

“I would give anything for her to love me.”

“She does.” Lady Ashford squeezed his hand lightly. “And she will realize it eventually. Now go on, out with you. I’ll tend to Lily.”

“I don’t want—”

“We’ve been through this. I’ll send for you if she wakes up. Please, take care of yourself. Do it for Lily. She needs you.”

Daniel nodded. Those were the words he needed to hear. “She needs another dose of morphine at one, but surely I’ll be back by then. Also, the doctor sent for some broth. She needs to try to take some if she wakes up. Of course, if she wakes up, you’ll come for me.”

“Yes, I promise.”

“All right.”

Daniel reluctantly left the room, negotiating his way to his father’s chamber in the west wing. Putney was waiting for him and started to speak, but Daniel silenced him with a gesture.

“Wake me in two hours, Putney,” he said, and fell on his father’s bed.

T
wo hours
later Daniel bathed and shaved. He ordered a lunch tray but couldn’t eat more than a couple of bites. He went back to his chamber and found Rose and Thomas tending to her.

“How is she?”

“The same,” Rose said. “She had a bout of the chills about an hour ago, but she’s better now.”

Daniel went to her side. “Where’s the countess?”

“She went down to the kitchen to instruct the cooks on how to prepare some special broth for Lily,” Rose said. “She’ll be back in a few minutes.”

“You two can go,” Daniel said. “I’ll care for her.”

“You look like hell, Lybrook,” Thomas said.

“Thank you. I just had a bath.”

“I didn’t say you weren’t clean. But have you slept at all?”

“Only for two hours. I wanted to get back to Lily.”

“Goodness, you need your rest,” Rose said. “Have you eaten anything?”

“Just a few bites.”

“That’s ridiculous. I’m ordering a tray for you. You can eat in here while you sit with her.” Rose stood.

“I don’t want—”

“Nonsense, you’ll do as I say.”

Daniel turned to Thomas. “She and your mother are just like Lily, aren’t they?”

Thomas smiled. “I’m afraid so. Lily’s a bit noisier than they are, but all three of them manage to get their way no matter what.”

“Do be quiet, Thomas,” Rose said.

“My father and I pretty much let them do as they please,” Thomas continued. “They will anyway. You may as well eat. She’ll hover over you until you do.”

Daniel shook his head, a trace of amusement touching his lips. “Has my mother been in?”

“Yes, she was here about an hour ago. She visited with my mother and Rose, and left about the same time I came.”

“And the doctor?”

“He was here a half hour ago. Said things were looking good. Miss Landon came and checked her also, and my aunt and cousins were here.”

Daniel sat down on the bed and took Lily’s hand. “Damn it, why won’t she wake up?”

“Blake said she may not,” Thomas said. “He said not to expect it for sure until tomorrow.”

Daniel touched his lips to Lily’s forehead. “She seems a little cooler.”

Rose got up as a maid entered with a tray. “Just set that on my sister’s night table,” she commanded. Then, to Daniel, “Eat every bit, Your Grace.”

“I need a little fresh air,” Thomas said. “I’ll be back to check on her later.”

“Jameson, don’t leave me alone with her,” Daniel pleaded.

Thomas chuckled as he walked out the door. “It’ll be good practice for when you’re married to Lily.”

“Come on,” Rose said, “or I shall have to summon my mother, and yours.”

“That’s hitting below the belt.” Daniel took a bite of a scone which tasted like sawdust. He noticed a quick flutter of Lily’s eyelids. “Lily?”

“What happened?” Rose asked.

“Her eyes moved just a little.” He shook Lily gently. “Lily, can you hear me?” Another flutter. “I think she’s responding.”

Rose came quickly. “She may just be dreaming.”

“Yes, I suppose you could be right.”

“I’m going to go get her puppy from the kennels,” Rose said. “I’ll be back in a little while.”

“All right. Thank you for taking care of her.”

“I would do anything for her. She’s the closest person to me in the world.” Rose left the room briskly.

Daniel leaned down and kissed Lily’s parched lips. “Please wake up, my love. There are so many people who love you and need you. Especially me.”

Lily’s eyes fluttered again. “Daniel?”

Daniel’s heart thumped. “Lily, Lily. I’m here.”

“Where am I?”

“You’re in my chamber. You fell down the stairs. Do you remember?”

“I-I think…”

“Don’t try to talk, love. I’ll take care of you. I’m going to get you some broth.”

“Don’t want…”

”Shh.” Daniel brought the broth and helped her lift her head. “Come on, love.” He spooned some into her mouth. “That’s a good girl.” Lily took two more spoonfuls before she fell back into unconsciousness.

“Damn it, Lily, don’t leave me again!” He laid her head down on the pillow as she started shivering. Daniel wrapped her in blankets and held her close.

L
ily awoke in darkness
, drenched in sweat, her body wrapped in a dank chemise. Cold and clammy bed linens clung to her bare skin. As her eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness, she attempted to move her body, but dull aches overwhelmed her. She groaned softly and tried to sit up, bracing her hands beside her, startled to feel another body next to hers. Daniel was on top of the covers, dressed in a shirt and trousers.

“Daniel?” she whispered. When there was no response, she gathered all the strength she could muster and nudged his arm gently. “Daniel?”

His eyes flashed open. “Lily? My God, Lily!” He sat up quickly. “My love, how are you feeling?”

“I hurt.”

“I know. I’m so sorry. Don’t try to move.”

“I’m all wet. The linens are soaked. I don’t know why.”

“Your fever must have broken.” He touched his lips to her forehead. “Thank God!”

Daniel tumbled out of bed, fumbled for a lamp, and lit it. He looked out his window. “Dawn will break soon.” He brought her a glass of water. “You need to drink. Come on.”

“Daniel…”

“You’re probably dehydrated, especially after all that sweating. Please, love, for me.”

Lily nodded and downed the entire glass. The cool liquid tasted like ambrosia.

“What am I doing here?” she asked.

“You fell down the stairs. Don’t you remember?”

Confused, Lily willed her jumbled thoughts to clear. “Yes, yes. I ache all over.”

“I know. I’ll get you some morphine.

“Morphine? No, I don’t want that.”

“You’ve been taking it for nearly two days.”

“Two days? What?”

“Closer to a day and a half, actually. It won’t hurt you.”

“I don’t want any. Please, Daniel. I don’t. It will make me groggy.” Her mind was already muddled. She couldn’t bear the idea of a drug creating further cloudiness.

“All right, love. Whatever you want. Thank God you’re all right.”

“I hurt between my legs, and my head aches, and my arms and legs, they’re all… Ow!”

“Take it easy, love. I’ll tell you everything. First I need to change your bed linens. The perspiration will irritate your beautiful skin. Then, if you’re feeling up to it, we’ll talk.”

He moved her gently from one side of the bed to the other as he discarded the soiled linens and replaced them with new ones. “There you are. I’m going to get you a nightdress.” He fumbled in the wicker basket until he found one. “Here, let me help you.”

Daniel discarded the soaked chemise and helped Lily ease into the gown. “Now, do you need to rest, or do you want to talk?”

“I want to talk.” Her tone was edgy, but she couldn’t help it. “What am I doing here?”

“I brought you here after you fell. Your head aches from a concussion, and the pain you’re feeling between your legs is from a surgical procedure. You were bleeding from the womb. Dr. Blake had to stop it.”

Chills coursed through Lily’s veins. “My God, he didn’t…”

“No, he saved your womb.”

“Thank God.” Lily breathed heavily, until a wave of panic struck her. “Our child?”

Daniel stroked her cheek. “Not this time, love.”

Lily’s eyes filled with tears, and her heart lurched. “No! Oh Daniel, I’m so sorry.”

“Hush now.” Daniel brushed her tears away. “We don’t even know if there was a child. It was too early to tell.”

She reached for him. “I didn’t know how much I wanted it. Oh, this is too horrible for words. I feel so…empty.”

“Lily, don’t upset yourself. It’s not good for you in your condition. You’re still very weak.” He gently held her. “I want you to rest. I need to fetch the doctor and let him know your fever has broken and that you’re awake.”

She clung to him, the warm hardness of his body an anchor in a sea of haziness and uncertainty. “Don’t leave me.”

“Never, I promise. He’s just down the hall. I’ll be back in an instant.”

Blake was happy with Lily’s progress and ordered a small meal for her, with orders to eat every bite. He also suggested a warm bath once she felt up to it, to help assuage the discomfort from the surgery and to ease the pain from the bruising.

By the time he left, the sun was edging over the horizon, signifying the dawn of a bright new day. Daniel fed Lily small pieces of dry toast and fruit and helped her sip some tea.

“I want you to rest now,” he said, when she had finished most of the food on her tray.

“I can’t. I want to stay with you.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“I don’t want to go back to sleep yet.”

Daniel smiled and brushed his lips over hers. “All right. I want to talk to you anyway.”

“What about?”

“Lots of things. Are you up to it?”

“I suppose so. Is anything wrong?”

“No, love, everything is right, now that you’re back.”

“What do you want to tell me?”

He took both of her hands in his and kissed them. “I love you, Lily. I should have told you a thousand times before now. I love you.”

A glowing warmth spread through her upon hearing those cherished words. “Oh, Daniel…”

“Shh. I’m not finished yet.”

She needed to hear nothing more, but clearly he needed to speak. “All right.”

“I’m so sorry for going behind your back to arrange our marriage with your father. I was desperate. I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you, of another man touching you. Knowing how you felt about marriage, I thought it was my only chance to keep you. I wanted to ask you, to talk to you about it, to try to convince you to stay with me, but in the back of my mind I was afraid you might refuse me. Going to your father seemed like the only option. I was selfish.”

She swallowed a lump in her parched throat and squeezed his arm.

“And what I did to you before that—not taking precautions when I promised you that I would—it was unforgivable.”

“I forgive you.” And she did. She would forgive him anything.

“Thank you.” He shook his head, his eyes sunken and sad. “I don’t deserve it.”

“I’ll decide what you deserve.”

“Please believe me. I honestly
did
forget. My desire for you was so great that I didn’t think, and I should have. Again, I was selfish. I’ve spent so many years being selfish, I just… There’s no excuse. I’m sorry.”

“It’s all right.” She longed to stroke his flesh, to give him comfort, but she didn’t have the strength to move.

“Please.” He quieted her. “Let me finish. You changed everything for me. I felt joy with you like I had never known. We had such fun together. You made me laugh, and you showed me tenderness when I didn’t deserve it.” He touched her hair. “The way your eyes lit up when you saw the Vermeer, and the way your cute little nose wrinkled when you smelled the wine, the way you laughed when your puppy licked your face, the way you couldn’t choose between painting and writing, so you did both. I could go on forever. Then there was making love to you. It was like nothing I’ve ever known. I felt like I had found the other half of my soul.”

“It felt that way for me too,” Lily said, smiling as much as she could. “Having nothing to compare it to, I just assumed it was always like that.”

Daniel chuckled and pressed his lips to her palm. “No. It was special with us.” He rubbed her hand against his jawline. “You touched me like no one ever has. I promise you’ll want for naught if you marry me. I’ll do anything you ask. Anything at all.”

“Daniel…”

“But I won’t force you. I was wrong to try. If you don’t think you can be happy as my wife, I will let you go.”

Lily brought his hand to her lips and gently kissed it. Her head hurt and her mind was still hazy, but she needed to be honest. “I don’t want to go.”

Daniel’s handsome face lit up like a candelabra. “Then you’ll stay with me and be my wife?”

Lily longed to reach for him, to tangle her fingers in his silky hair. “Do you remember when I said I only needed two things from you?”

“Yes, but you never told me what they were.”

She sighed. “You’ve given me one. Your love.”

“You’ll have that until the end of time. What is the other? If it’s within my power to grant, I will do it.”

“First, I know I’m impulsive, but I…I never would have gone to bed with anyone but you. I need you to know that. If it had been anyone else I wouldn’t have.”

He brushed a dewy lock of hair from her brow. “I’m glad.”

“I’m not sure what it was about you that called to me that first time. I was frightened beyond measure, and I had no desire to bed any man, or so I thought. Perhaps it was the fact that you had a Vermeer, and enough appreciation for it to keep it in your bedchamber. Or that you kept kissing me that first night, even after you saw who I was. Or maybe it was because you remembered me and my painting from all those years ago. Whatever it was, I couldn’t stop myself from wanting you, so I told myself that sleeping with you would be a good experience. I never planned to marry, so I didn’t care about my virtue. But all the time we were together, I couldn’t imagine leaving you at the end of two weeks. I vowed to be careful, not to lose my heart. Every time I went to you, I told myself it was the last time, that the longer I let it go on the harder it would be to leave. But I couldn’t stop myself from going back for more, even though Amelia told me she was going to bed my brother if I pursued you.”

“Amelia told you what?”

“That’s another story, but yes, Amelia and I have had words. It doesn’t matter. Well, in a way it does. I knew your reputation, Daniel. Everything you said to me—I wanted desperately to believe it all, but knowing what I did of your past… Well, frankly, I figured you were just really good with lines.”

“I meant everything I said to you.”

“I know, and I’m sorry I reacted so harshly to the idea of marrying you and having your child. I was angry that you hadn’t come to me first, and I was angry at myself for finding out I wasn’t who I always thought I was, if that makes any sense. I feared I was to be one of many, and that you wanted me only for my bloodline and the heir I might be carrying.”

“I’m so sorry I made you feel that way. I love you so much. I can’t imagine life without you.”

“I… I love you too, Daniel.” How wonderful to finally say the words! “Somehow I think I always have.”

Daniel sighed and looked straight into her eyes. “I never felt worthy of your love.”

“That’s not for you to say, is it?” she said with a half smile. “My love is mine alone to give, and I choose to give it to you. I think you’re very worthy.”

He brushed his lips over her hair. “You have my love, Lily. Now what is the other thing you want?”

Her heart lurched. Would he be able to give it to her? “I want your fidelity, Daniel. I want to be your only woman.”

He laughed softly. “You are. Do you really think I could ever go to another woman after what we’ve shared?”

His laughter irritated her. “There’s nothing funny about it. Given your past, I wasn’t sure.”

His lips brushed her temple, her brow, her nose. “I promise you. I’ll never touch another woman. I’ll never even want to.”

A tear fell from the corner of her eye. “Oh, Daniel, I never dared to hope.”

“It’s an easy wish for me to grant, Lily.”

“I knew Amelia was lying, the little tramp. She told me you had been in bed with her, and that you were going to ship me off to Scotland once you got me pregnant. Then she took my ring, said you told her she could have it…and then, she pushed me.” Lily wept quietly.

Daniel embraced her, wiping away her tears with his fingers. “Don’t cry. Amelia’s in custody now, and she will never harm you again, I promise. I never made love to her, and I never said any of those horrible things. Please tell me you believe me.”

Lily sniffed. “I believe you. I just wish she hadn’t taken my beautiful ring. I loved it.”

Daniel smiled into her eyes as he knelt down on the floor beside her. He took Lily’s left hand in his, drew a ring out of his pocket, and placed it on her fourth finger. “Lily Jameson, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”

Lily widened her tired eyes, joy coursing through her. “Daniel, where did you find it?”

“Rose saw it on Amelia’s finger when she was being taken away by the constables. She punched Amelia in the nose and made her give her the ring.”

“My sweet Rose?”

“Yes, your sweet Rose. Now you didn’t answer my question. Will you be my wife?”

“Yes, Daniel, yes!” With all her strength, she held her hand toward the window, admiring the facets of her gem sparkling in the morning sun. “This is so beautiful, and every time I look at it I see your marvelous eyes.”

“I promise I’ll make you happy, Lily.”

“You are wonderful. “I wish we could make love right now.”

Daniel groaned low in his throat. “God, you have no idea.”

“Maybe later we can. I’m feeling all right, I guess.”

“No, love. We can’t. You’re clearly exhausted and still quite weak. Besides, you have to heal. Blake says I can’t touch you for six weeks.”

“Six weeks?”

“It won’t be so bad,” Daniel said, smiling. “I’d wait six years for you if I had to.”

“If you can wait, I suppose I can.” Lily warmed all over. Then a yawn nearly cracked her parched face. “I’m growing tired, and I want to have a bath before I go to sleep again. I feel all greasy and slimy, and my hair is pasted to my head.”

“I’ll call for a maid to bathe you. Or would you rather have your mother?”

“Neither. I want you to bathe me.”

“I can’t. What would your father say?”

“I wasn’t planning to ask his opinion.” She smiled weakly. “Lock the door.”

“Lily…”

“You said you’d do anything for me.”

“God help me. All right.” Daniel rose and locked the door to his bedchamber. He strolled into the bath chamber and readied a bath. Then he fetched Lily from the bed, removed her nightgown, and carried her to the tub.

“You get in with me,” she urged.

“No, love. You’re too weak. Maybe in a few days.” He lathered her body and her hair with soap and gently cleansed her.

“That feels nice,” she said, closing her eyes.

“Let me know if anything hurts.”

“Everything’s fine. I love the feel of your hands on my body. It’s soothing.”