Lilly's Wedding Quilt (27 page)
Abel spoke in a monotone, still rocking. “It means that there are good things in life that can come out of bad—out of the dark.”
All eyes swung to the boy on the floor. Lilly swallowed. “Yes, that’s right, Abel. Very well done. Are there any other thoughts?”
No one else seemed to know what more to say, so she asked them to rise for the recitation of the Lord’s Prayer. After the prayer they moved on to sing. As their voices began to rise, Lilly noticed that Abel got to his feet. He held onto the desk next to him with a thin arm and hummed along with the others to the traditional hymn.
In the still isolation
You find my praise ready
Greatest God answer me
For my heart is seeking you.
You’re always here
Never still though silent
You rule the yearly seasons
And you set them in order.
This cold winter air
Calls with mighty feeling.
See what a mighty Lord,
Summer and Winter He makes.
The song ended and the class sat down, and Lilly breathed a faint sigh of relief when Abel did the same.
J
acob was riding fence on the border of the Wyse farm along the highway when a horse and buggy slowed to a stop near him. He rode closer in the frosty glare of the midday sun on the snow. He squinted beneath his hat as he recognized Sarah. She leaned to the side of the buggy and smiled at him. He noticed with vague surprise that her face inspired no particular change in his heart rate, no sudden pang of regret or longing. It almost was as if he were free from a spell cast long ago, that he’d woken up and discovered that reality was more than fine—it was freedom. He smiled and reached his gloved hand out to her. She took it lightly and they shook hands over the top line of the fence.
“Where are you off to, Sarah?”
“Town … I’ve got to buy some fabric.” She tipped her head shyly. “I’m going to make some baby clothes.”
He raised a brow, then burst out with the first thing that came to mind. “You’re pregnant? Sarah, that’s wonderful.” And he meant it, he realized. He could have gotten off his horse and danced with incredible joy. It stunned him. He was genuinely happy for her and Grant.
“Jacob, thank you.” Her radiant smile warmed a part of his soul, but it was a distant warmth—not the flame of emotion he felt when he was with Lilly. Was
Derr Herr
making everything new?
“Now tell me, how is Lilly’s
mamm
? Grant says she’s making great strides.”
“
Jah
, we’re to fetch her home tomorrow afternoon. We couldn’t have made it without Grant’s help. He’s a
gut
man, a
gut
doctor.”
“And it’s not taken you long to figure that out,” she teased.
He laughed. “No, not long at all. I’m sorry, Sarah. I wish I could have seen things clearer, earlier—for everyone’s sake.” He reached out and touched her hand with affection and they both looked up as another horse and buggy came trotting past on the opposite side of the road. Mrs. Zook gave them a speculative look and a stiff nod.
Sarah smiled at him once the other woman had passed. “It was good to see you, Jacob.”
“Good to see you too. And pass my congratulations on to your husband.”
As she picked up the reins, he waved, then turned to keep checking the fence, a broad grin on his face.
I
just thought it my duty to stop and let you know, Lilly. You’re not much older than my Kate and I don’t want to see you hurt.” Mrs. Zook gave her a forlorn look and sniffed into a large hankie.
Lilly had just seen Mrs. Beiler and Abel off a few minutes before when Mrs. Zook had marched into the schoolhouse.
“Mrs. Zook, I’m sorry that you’re struggling with Kate, but I hardly think that Jacob and Sarah stopping to speak to one another should be any concern.”
“Well. You can certainly choose to ignore my care in this, Lilly. In the absence of your mother, I think it’s only right that—”
Lilly put up her hand to silence her. “I trust my husband, Mrs. Zook.”
Mrs. Zook leaned forward as if dispensing delicious gossip. “He had his hand upon hers, Lilly—and they weren’t shaking hands.” Her eyebrow rose as if waiting for a response.
Lilly tried not to let the sudden fear rising in her show. “As my mother is returning home tomorrow, Mrs. Zook, I really must clean up and prepare for tomorrow’s lessons. If you’ll excuse me …”
The older woman turned on her heel, her cape whirling about her. “Very well, Lilly Wyse. And I won’t say that I was the first to give you news that might save your future.”
“Good day, Mrs. Zook.”
Lilly sank to her desk chair as the door slammed close. She put her throbbing head in her hands and tried to ignore the venom of the so-called “duty” in the woman’s gossip. It had been a difficult day as it was, knowing her mother would return home the following day, dealing with Abel Beiler, who was sweet but was obviously going to be the most challenging student of her teaching career thus far. And, she was adjusting to marriage—a difficult thing under ordinary circumstances made even more difficult by the fact that her husband was distracted by his love for another woman.
As much as she wanted to, she could not still the fear that rose stronger within her heart. She began to pray that
Derr Herr
would give her release from her worry.
J
acob inched deeper beneath the pile of quilts on the floor, then rolled over on his stomach to play with the crack in the wood floor in the darkened room. He knew Lilly was awake too. He could tell from her rustlings and her breathing. He’d grown used to waiting for the even cadence of her breath before he allowed himself to fall asleep.
Something was bothering her … he could tell from her pleasant but thoughtful manner at supper—clearly forced. Probably she was worried about her
mamm’s
homecoming …
“Abel Beiler came to school today,” she spoke quietly from the bed.
He rolled over and propped himself up on one elbow, trying to see something in the sooty dark.
“How is the boy? It can’t be easy to have lost your father so recently.”
“I don’t know how he is—what troubles him and what doesn’t.” She briefly outlined Grace Beiler’s explanation of her son’s health.
“Maybe a special school is the answer, Lilly. I’ve heard that the teachers are kind and have more help in the classroom.”
He heard her bedclothes shift. “I know, but I feel that the Lord wants me to try with him. He’s really no bother, actually more of a puzzle. It’s not that he disobeys or is disruptive …”
On his side now, Jacob propped his head on his hand. “Then what is it?”
“Sometimes he’ll engage with the class and then, for no clear reason, drifts away into his own world.”
“Is that so bad?”
“Well, it’s distracting in a way I can’t describe. Sometimes he’s rocking a bit. Sometimes mumbling softly to himself.”
“Have you spoken with Alice yet? Surely she’ll have some ideas. How much longer has she been a teacher over in the next school?”
“Three years. Not a lot more, but I know she’s had some challenges. I’d planned to talk with her soon.”
She shifted again. He remained silent, sensing she had more to say.
“Jacob, I’ve thought about whether I might be vain in trying to teach him myself. I don’t think that’s the reason—truly, it’s a conviction of my heart.”
“It is
Derr Herr
who brings conviction to the heart. When He does, we are wise to listen.” Jacob thought for a moment. “How old is he? Seven? Can he read?”
“Some. It’s hard to tell, but he understands what’s being said. He’s insightful and can speak with high intellect when he chooses.”
“You know, when I’ve gotten hold of a colt that’s been badly or cruelly broke, or just one that seems a little slow or stubborn to other people, I often hitch him to a well-broken horse, one that can kind of act like a—”
He heard her clap her hands once. “Like a mentor! Jacob, that’s perfect! But I wonder which student might be best for him.”
He cleared his throat as an impulsive idea came to his mind. It was out of his mouth before he could consider. “I could do it.”
“What?”
He went on slowly. “I might be able to help the boy some way. He’s just lost his father—I don’t know. Maybe he’d like horses …” He trailed off.
Probably a silly idea
.
He heard her fling back the quilts, then heard her bare feet hit the floor. Then she was leaning over him in the pitch dark, her hands on his chest. “
Ach
, Jacob. You’re brilliant and so very kind. If you can spend some time with him in the evenings or maybe after school, it might give him confidence or make him calmer. I’m so proud of you that you’re willing to suggest this.”
She bent and hugged him, a quick, frustrating touch, and then she rose and pattered away. The bed creaked as she got back in, and he stifled a sigh.
After a few minutes, just when he thought she might be drifting off, she spoke again, her strained tone very different from only a few moments before.
“Mrs. Zook stopped by the school today. She said she saw you and Sarah meeting together on the roadside.”
“What? That old troublemaker.”
“She said you had your hand on hers. She said it looked affectionate. She said you weren’t shaking hands.” Her voice shook a bit more with each statement.
He didn’t even attempt to stifle the sound of disgust that blew from the back of his throat.
“Well, did you?”
He didn’t like her accusation, especially when he’d offered to help her with one of her students and she’d responded with excitement. “
Jah
, Lilly, that we were. Sarah was tired of Grant’s company, despite the fact that she’s going to have his
boppli
, and I decided to dishonor my bride in full view of everyone. That’s what we were doing.” He slammed his pillow down and rolled over, covering his head.
“How do you know?”
“What?” he snapped, yanking the quilt back down.
“How do you know she’s pregnant?”
He almost groaned aloud. Could he not learn to keep his big mouth shut? But there was no help for it now. “She told me.”
“Even Mrs. Zook didn’t know. You must have been the first she told.”
He thumped his pillow hard. “No, Lilly, I was not the first. I’m sure Sarah told her husband and her family and then maybe me. I am not first of anything with Sarah. And I don’t want to be. Not even second or third. Look, I want to go to sleep. Is that all right?” He shouldered the quilt and let his sarcasm hang like frost in the chilly air of the room.
L
illy plucked a clothespin from the line and dropped it into the basket. Alice had done the same from the other side of the sheet. They began to fold the sheet together, as they had done hundreds of times, like a perfectly choreographed dance.
“He doesn’t love her anymore,” Alice said, continuing their conversation.
“I don’t know, Alice. I really don’t.”
“I saw them, you know.”
“When?”
“Tuesday.”
“That was four days ago. Why didn’t you tell me?” Lilly’s heart began to fear, picking up its pace.
Alice placed the folded sheet into the basket while Lilly reached for the next clothespin.
“I forgot.”
Lilly stopped. Turned. “You forgot.”
“Lilly. It was nothing. Really.”
“Then why did you forget?”
Alice plucked her end of the sheet off the line and the dance began again. “Because it was nothing. I probably should have remembered because the most remarkable thing about it was that it was so clear Jacob doesn’t love her anymore.”
They moved down the line, removing trousers one at a time. Lilly looked at her, not convinced.
“Look, Lilly. The entire community has watched Jacob’s eyes trail Sarah wherever she went for so many years, his face full of emotion and attraction. So when I saw him in town, walking by her, saying a friendly hello, but declaring an eager interest to get home to you, what should I think? Lilly, that connection is dead between them.”
Lilly knew Alice wouldn’t lie just to make her feel better. Her heart began to grow lighter.