Life Is Short But Wide (30 page)

“Herman has smooth, warm skin on his body, you can tell just by looking at it. And he has just a little pot-belly; gas. He doesn’t eat right, I bet. He never talks about his women. I bet he has two or three of these used young women messing around him. Everybody wants ‘young.’ Young.

“Well, let them. I don’t envy the young anything but their health, and the time to make some choices I didn’t make when I was able. And, I am healthy, except for all these little aches and pains that come out of nowhere.”

She stood up straight, and placed one hand on her back. “Like my back. I used to do things like this gardening all day every day when I was feeding those children, Lola and Poem. Had to do it. I never got pains like this, but maybe that is why I have them now. Well, what’s the hell? As my papa used to say.”

She bent over to work again, still thinking. “I love Herman’s
eyes. Eyes like my daddy’s, prettier than mine. They look tired though, a little blurry around the edge of his pupils. I think I better take more vitamins than I do already. Go get a massage and a facial, or something. Not going to get any new clothes, though; I’m not going anywhere but to that new church. They don’t call it a church, they call it a Hall. I like what they say though. They’re saying something! Things I never heard before. I can honestly say it sounds just like the truth to me.”

When Herman just happened to come by that very day, Cloud had lain Juliet down on the grassy lawn around their house. She had prepared a nice lunch to have a picnic. She could do all kinds of things in her kitchen, while in her wheelchair.

Cloud had added on to and fixed the house so it was very convenient for her to do anything she might want. Wings Val had his own room, and they had added enough space to their bedroom to put in a queen-size bed. The window spaces were larger, wider, facing away from the big house, into the woods. Juliet loved watching the trees and animal life from her bed.

Juliet’s doctor had given her birth control pills because her monthly periods had never stopped, and she took them. They knew they did not need another child. Cloud had told Juliet, “We are blessed to have the one we have, Wings; us, mixed together.”

They often made love outside when they knew no one would be coming around their house. He would stretch her out, flat on her back. Juliet loved his patience and understanding. He’d spread her legs enough, then lay his body between them.

They kissed and teased awhile, laughing, together. When
she was ready, and trying to pull her knees up, he raised his body and helped her. He smiled down at her as he placed her knees at his sides. She could squeeze his hips with them. Then he lowered himself, slowly, until he entered her warm and waiting body. He loved making love to his woman.

They lived, they loved, and her being crippled did not bother them. Their faith in their God, and the adventure of their life, made them ready when love had come. Their love, and passions, made them indestructible, so far, in the life they had chosen to live. Together.

Herman was on his way to see Cloud, so he happened to see them making love so slow and lazily that day. He didn’t mean to watch them, but he did for a moment. It was everything; not just seeing two people make love. It was the blue of the sky, the fluffy white clouds, the light, caressing breeze and the sun shining warmly down on them through the patterns of leaves on the gently swaying trees. Leaves, that made patterns on the gently moving, naked body of Cloud.

All these things made Herman’s chest fill up with desire and envy … and pain. He turned, leaving before they saw him in his own naked longing.

He had to cross the wide breadth of Myine’s land. His throat tightened as he passed the little, old schoolroom so near the main house: Memories. As he reached Myine’s house, he stared at her front door, wanting to enter it, speak to her, tell her what he felt; but he didn’t.

Still walking on, and thinking, his feelings overwhelmed him. A sob started, deep down in his heart where he was feeling sorry for himself. The sob tried to come out; he fought the sob, fought his feelings.

Finally … he was in his car, driving, away. The sob, just one, broke through. He cried out, aloud, “Oh, God! I want a life! I want my woman! You know she’s mine! Give her to me, give her to me. Please, Jehovah! She says that is your name; she even showed it to me, right in my own Bible! She says you like to be called by your name because your son said, ‘Hallowed be thy name.’ So, Jehovah God, please, give me that woman, my woman, please, God, please! Let Myine love me. There is no sense in both of us being alone! I know she must want somebody. Please, God, give her to me, let me take care of her. Please.”

Herman drove home, took a shower, had a drink, and sat down to think. He didn’t shave again, but he put on fresh clothes, a white shirt and a pair of khaki pants. He got back in his truck, and drove back to Myine’s house. His heart had calmed down, but the memory of Cloud and Juliet, and his own love throbbing in his breast, made him go back.

Myine was sitting in the swing on her porch. She looked up as he parked his truck. Her heart beat a little faster even as she thought, “I know it’s just Herman, but Herman is a man I like.” She did not let herself think of it as romantic. She did not want to look like a fool, and be hurt again.

Herman was smiling as he reached the bottom of her steps. “How’re you doing, Mz. Myine?”

“Just fine, Mr. Herman. How are you doing on this beautiful day?”

“I could say fine, myself.”

After a moment’s hesitation, she said, “Come on in.”

He started up the steps. His confidence faded as he said, “I’m just stopping by to holler at Cloud.”

She smiled, looking directly into his eyes, “I believe they are having a picnic over there. They usually come out on these kind of days.”

Herman sat in the swing beside her as he asked, “Aren’t you going to the picnic?”

“It’s not that kind of picnic. I may go visit her, later, but I always give them a few hours to relax alone, before I butt in.”

The thought passed swiftly through his mind, “She has already seen what I saw! She must be made of steel.” He said aloud, “Do you think I’d be butting in?”

Myine, nervous, smiled, pushing the swing with her foot, but it did not move because he was too heavy. He noticed, and pushed the swing gently for her, as she answered. “Oh, maybe not, he is always happy to see you. I’m always here with them; they can see me anytime. But you could stay and visit with me a little, first.”

Herman was silent a moment, then said, “Well, I’ll just walk around there later, since you’re going to let me sit here with you a little bit.”

“Herman, stop talking silly. You know you are always welcome. I’d love someone to talk to.”

Herman leaned back, smiling, giving the swing a solid push. “There is always me, Myine. It’s a beautiful day to sit out on a porch with a lovely lady!”

“Oh, Herman! You can sit here with me as long as you don’t talk to me like I am crazy. I know you could be a lot of places with someone on a day like this, instead of sitting here with me.”

Herman stopped smiling, and looked directly into Myine’s eyes. “There is no other place I would rather be, Ms. Myine.”

Myine laughed lightly. “Oh, Lord. Now you’re going proper on me.”

Still looking directly in her eyes, Herman answered, “I’d love to do anything on you. I mean, with you, around you, by you, whatever you let me do.”

He saw the blush come into Myine’s face, and thought he had overstepped by telling her his truth. He quickly said, “Say, I remember you telling me you would like to have a place to sunbathe some day. Why don’t you let me build you a little private space, next to your house?

“I could build it for you from the inside of your basement coming out. Then you’d have two new rooms. I could build it so you can remove a wall, when you want to, and it would be open to your whole yard. Just when you want to be naked in the sun, the walls would be there. For your privacy.”

Myine laughed, happily, and Herman became more comfortable. He couldn’t understand why he was nervous; he was used to Myine; he had known her all her life. He made his body move into a more relaxed condition.

He continued speaking, “We can plant flowers; flowers you like. And I’ll put in a small Japanese fountain, and a slender, beautiful tree. I can build a platform for a mattress just the size you want it … for you.”

With Myine’s smile glowing on him, he was encouraged. “Let’s talk about this, Myine!”

Myine looked at Herman in wonder, asking, “But what will you get out of doing all that for me? I may not even have all that kind of money. What do you get? I know you have … other things … to do.”

Herman thought very quickly of another plan he and Cloud had been talking about. He hadn’t planned it this way, but he had to have an answer for Myine right then. He couldn’t bring himself to say, “Because I love you.” He was disgusted with himself, but to him, there had been no preamble to such words. Their friendship had always been just a friendship.

As his enthusiasm slowly leaked out of his mind, he sat up, stopping the swing. “You know what? I’m going to get my thoughts straight, and if you will allow me, I will come back and discuss them with you. But, I have to tell you this. If you never gave me a dime for doing anything for you, it would be fine with me. Your mother gave me something which I cannot replace, nor name a payment for. I have never forgotten her, or that.”

He stood up. “And I’m not trying to pay you back in place of her. I just wanted to do something for you. I … I care for you, Myine. I know you think of me as an old man, an old friend of your family, so I have to do what you let me do.”

He started down the steps as she stood up, reaching a hand out toward him. She didn’t understand. He turned back to her, saying, “Mighty nice afternoon sitting here with you, Ms. Myine.”

She asked in a very gentle voice, “Herman, stop calling me Ms. Myine, please.”

“Alright, Myine. I was just teasing you anyway. But I enjoyed you sharing your company with me. That’s the truth. And I’ll be
back to talk to you about the sunbathing room and my own ideas. Soon.”

Myine just looked after him as he left. Not understanding everything, but thrilled nonetheless.

The excitement was gone by the time she went to sleep, but one of her last thoughts was, “I believe I could love that old man. Me, with my old behind.”

Lord, chile, seems like these people are just trying to let life pass them by! But, that’s the interesting part to me! Some people would have just jumped smack-dab in the middle of anything. But these two people, getting older every day, were letting their nerves, their self-consciousness, their stupid, bashful feelings get in the way of their life.

But, on the other hand, if they had been different kinds of people, their love might not have grown so strong! And good. In my experience you just have to let life, and love, work its own self out.