Life Is Short But Wide (17 page)

He never ran into Herman or Joseph, because Joseph was home when he wasn’t working. Herman was too tired to go out.

There was no way to avoid a meeting with Tonya; they had seen each other several times, smiled and waved at each other. Finally, one night she placed her hand on her hip and stopped at his side; she stared at him, and waited. He smiled as he asked about her two sons. She replied, “They jes fine! I got me a daughter now, too!” He wanted to ask, “Who the daddy?” but didn’t. Instead he said, “Well, I’m glad you doin so well.” He called the bartender and ordered a drink for her.

Tonya took a sip of the drink, smiling as she did so, making her dimples show as she had practiced. She looked at him with those eyes that were meant to look as though they had a secret.
“Ya been busy ya’self! I hear ya got a little baby. What was it, a boy? a girl?”

“I have a daughter, Myine.”

“What kind’a name is that? Ain’t neva heard it befo.”

“It’s jes some name that Rose picked out. It’s okay. What you doin out here if you got a new daughter? You still runnin the streets!”

“If I wasn’t I would’n’a met up with ya.” She smiled again, looking at him through lowered lashes.

“Yea, well.” Tonya was still looking good to Leroy (which is different from good looking). She still looked sweet to Leroy. He remembered their old days; how good she was in bed making love to him. He thought of love-making a lot. He thought, “I got plenty at home, but, well, a strange piece is … Tonya wouldn’t be a real strange piece, but strange enough. It’s been a long time now.”

When she turned to speak with someone, he looked at her behind, and smiled. When she turned back to him, he asked, “Who your man now, Tonya?”

“What ya wan’a know for?”

“Just askin.”

“Ya see somethin ya want?”

“I just might.”

It didn’t happen that night, but he had a warm spot in his heart for her anyway. In a short time, it didn’t take long, she had wheedled herself back into his arms, and deep into his life.

They became an invisible couple. Every night he was out, he wasn’t at the Lark’s Club, or a juke joint anymore. He was holed up at Tonya’s rented shack. That made Tonya more than happy. In an ugly mean streak of her mind, she thought, “Mz. Lady got
all that house ova there, but I got her man deep in my pretty yea-yea ova heah!” She gave him as much good loving as she could. Because of her hatred of Rose; because Rose had her own house. Rose, who did not even know Tonya existed.

Rose was always waiting in some way for her husband. As she was cleaning house for her family, washing, ironing, shopping for food, cooking for her family. Or playing with Myine as though she was a child, herself. She thought of Leroy, her husband. “We are a family!”

This was a long time ago, so Myine was only going on seven or eight years old. She was reading well, and could write. She loved words and pictures. Tante’s old books were almost worn out, though still well cared for. Aunt Tante sent new books, including large art and sculpture books. Even school books for teaching calculus, and Latin.

Aunt Tante wanted Myine to go to college. “I’ll pay for it!” she wrote. She lived in Europe now, but asked for pictures of her sister and niece all the time.

She sent many things, beautiful fabrics, buttons that had struck her fancy. Ribbons, hair clasps, scarves, everything that a big girl and a little girl might want from Paris. But she did not come home … herself.

Leroy and Tonya were growing closer. Well, all they had to do was make love and laugh together. Rose cooked his food, washed and cleaned his clothes. She took care of him when he was not well, and worried mightily when she would see him looking sick. Or even too tired. All Tonya had to do was concentrate on moving her hips, and she loved doing that.

Leroy made love at home when he grew ashamed of neglecting his wife, and Rose looked at him with confusion and hurt on
her face. In those intimate moments with Rose, Leroy felt his love for his wife. He could not understand why he kept Tonya. He would promise himself he would let Tonya go, be faithful to his wife. Somehow in Tonya’s company he forgot his family, and his promise.

Rose knew something was wrong, but she was not used to the different ways a man can change. She would think, “I haven’t changed, I still love him just like the day I married him.”

Tonya had always been poor, every day of her life. Struggling to survive, one day, one week, sometimes even for one hour at a time. She had always wanted, dreamed of, the kind of life Rose had, just in general. Now, Tonya’s dreams and desires became stronger. Satan was really working on her. In fact, he had plans for her; plans for everybody, including Rose, Leroy, and Myine. Satan thinks large.

Tonya looked at the life Leroy lived, and wanted it for herself. “That house! Now he got a car, even if it is used. He got nice clothes, an he don’t buy me none! He done even got bigger on his job at that hospital.”

She counted, in her head, the money she thought he took home. “He give me a lil money, now an then. My cleanin jobs don’t pay me much.” (She hadn’t had time for school so she couldn’t read except for a few words, nor write very well at all. She had hated school.)

Tonya hated, and envied, Rose. Coveted her life. “Of cou’se she got it easy! Cause she got that house. And that’s why her life so easy. She prac’ly rich!”

It took over a year, but Tonya convinced Leroy that Rose was in their way to true happiness. She tried a few magic spells on him; she gave that up because magic didn’t work fast enough.

Then she began to withhold her loving from him; not too long, because she knew there were many yea-yeas out there who would love to catch him between their legs.

She always gave in to him, at the right time. Gave in, in a dramatic loving way. They would hold tight to each other; she for one reason, he for another. She kept whispering into his ear, and into his dumb, blind heart. He listened, actually without intending to, until even Leroy did not know how the thing went so far. Some mojo must have worked. They were planning to get rid of Rose. Forever. He, half heartedly, but Tonya was persistent.

Rose was naive, and her daughter was much like her. She did not tell Myine the truth, as she knew it, about life. The ugly things that lay beneath the surface of people. About the choices that came in so many ways, in so many things on earth. Nor the ugly things that lay beneath the surface of even very nice people.

Myine was doing well in all her studies. She had always been around books. She was now mentally beyond all her mother’s classes. As her Aunt Tante wanted, she was dreaming of college. She was dreaming of becoming a scientist; she wanted to study the ocean, the land, even the heavens. She loved all the mysterious life on earth.

Her mother had taken her to see the ocean a few years ago. They went on a bus ride, supposedly to the Pacific Ocean, but arrived and sat by the Gulf of Mexico, really, all day. They were immensely pleased with the expanse and depth of magnificence. Then they ate a hot meal, boarded another bus, and went straight back home.

Myine browsed through her two new books, thinking, “Just
to see a piece of that huge, beautiful body of water that God created, and all the magnificent, unusual, wondrous life in it.” Of course, they also saw some of America. Juliet loved to hear about the trip, and see the pictures as often as possible. She borrowed them to show to Cloud, to dream about going one day.

Rose mailed all Myine’s letters to Tante. Myine kept the ones she received from Tante, and read them over and over again. They were fertilizer for her dreams. They were about college, and going one day to meet her aunt. And so Rose and Myine dreamed.

Bertha, meanwhile, did not know what to do. She did not want to hurt her friend, Rose, by telling her about Tonya. She knew because even ailing Joseph knew from his friends. Juliet had told Bertha, “Mama, if you really are her friend, you have to tell her that Leroy is not doing her right. He got another woman, He ain’t livin his married life right!”

Rut Bertha would reply, “You ain’t sposed to meddle in nobody’s business, Juliet. They grown.” Juliet would not let her off the hook, “Mama, what is a friend for if they not sposed to tell you when somebody is lying to you? And hurting your life?”

“Hush, girl! That’s jes the way life is!”

“I don’t believe that, Mama. They sposed to have some Christians in this world, and that’s sposed to mean something more than what you’re saying. And a friend is sposed to help a friend.”

“You don’t know what you sayin, Juliet.”

“Rut I know what I’m talkin bout, Mama.”

And so it went, but Bertha did not tell her friend Rose. She didn’t want to hurt her.

No one told Rose.

•

Slowly, day by day, Rose became sicker. Didn’t go to the doctor until a few weeks had passed. Leroy kept saying, “I work at the hospital, head of my own department, and it’s lots of people have come down with the flu or a virus. The doctor say you just have to wait it out. Drink a lot of juices, and soups. Wait it out is all you can do, Rose.”

Rose heard him calling her “Rose,” instead of “Baby,” as he used to. She missed him. She still loved him so much, and blamed herself for not being well enough to make him a better home.

Then, one day, he told her, “I’m gonna get one of the ladies from the hospital to come over here and help us out with things, so you don’t have to worry none.”

In a very weak voice, Rose said, “I guess we could stand a little help cleaning the house. Rut that would only be once a week or so.”

Leroy patted her shoulder as he planned his lie. “Let the help-lady do that, and fix your lunch so you don’t have to eat no cold sandmich.”

“Who is it, Leroy? Have I met her? How are you going to pay her now that I’m not making any money to help the house?”

“Rose, I don’t want you to worry none. Jes let me take care it … for a little while, til ya get well. It’s gonna be that little ole lady what goes to the church. Mz. Willis. She need a little help. She ain’t gonna do much; just keep the house from gettin too messy is all.

“I’m gonna send you food from the hospital so don’t nobody
have to worry bout no cookin. That way I know ya gonna get the very best food to get well. Cause ya know hospital food got to be good to make everybody well. Myine will pro’bly eat with Bertha cause she over there all the time now. I told her not to be round ya too much, til we know what virus ya got.”

Rose raised her head, weakly. “But my students, I’ve got to get back to work.”

Leroy turned his head, dismissively. “I told all them kids to tell their mama that you was sick, and school was out … until you get well.”

Rose dropped her head back down on the pillow, and tears filled her eyes. “Ohhhhh, my kids. My kids, who depend on me, will suffer.” After Leroy left, she cried into her pillow. “Oh, God, I feel like I’m dying. I don’t want to die. I want to live to help my baby grow up. Oh, God, I don’t want to die. Help me get well, please.” And so her prayers went. Leroy began to sleep in another room. She cried throughout the nights.

Bertha knew Leroy hadn’t really cared for Rose, lately. He didn’t know what Bertha or Joseph knew about him and Tonya. But Bertha offered to bring her own good food to Rose, her friend. “I know jes what she like, Leroy. Shoot, I’ll be glad to do something, anything, for Rose. Ain’t no sense in paying nobody to do what I want to do, be my joy to do.”

“Well, thank ya, Bertha, but we better leave things like we got em, cause nobody don’t know how long Rose gonna be sick. I’ll be gettin somebody to come in already, if I need em. They say, what she got last a long time. But I sure do thank ya, and Rose thank ya, too.”

Bertha started to speak. “Won’t matter how long …”

“I say ‘thank ya’ Mz. Bertha, but we gonna be jes fine! And I hope Mr. Joseph is feeling much better. I been seein em at the hospital sometime when he come in to see his doctor.”

Bertha stood at their front door, and it was open and shut before she could plead her case.

Rose was upstairs, a little thrilled because her husband was really taking care of her. “Oh, God, I thank You for my good husband. I know I’m going to be alright as soon as I find out what is wrong with me.”

No one told Rose anything about her sickness; and no doctor came to visit.

Then Leroy told Rose he had a cousin. “She need a job. I was helpin her get one, but I was wonderin if maybe ya could let her help ya, til the one I get for her come through? She a good worker. Her name is Tonya. Ain’t that a crazy name for a’ old woman? But, she a good worker! We need a little cleanin up round here. I try to do it, but I got a full-time job.”

Rose was continually getting weaker. She said, “Leroy, you are so good to me. God bless you, my husband. But we could ask Bertha. She can use the money, and I know her ways. I haven’t seen her lately. I miss her. I want to see her any …” Rose started choking on something that had come up in her throat, and couldn’t talk anymore.

“Rose, Joseph ain’t doin so good; he ailin. She got her hands full. So I’ll tell my cousin to come on, an get started. She be in here today to fix your lunch so ya don’t have to eat no cold sandmich.”

Rose put the rag she had coughed into down and reached out, expectantly, for her husband to hold her a little bit, and kiss her check. “What I would really like is you staying at home these
nights and make me a married woman again.” She smiled pitifully up at him.

He stepped back from her, patted her hand, saying, “Rose, I’m workin at the hospital; don’t want to give ya nothin I pick up out from there. Jes hold on, we gonna be together real soon. I cain’t wait myself. Been a long time. Now ya just need to concentrate ya mind on that! Cause I’m gonna be here, waitin.”

A tiny shiver of a thrill went through Leroy’s heart; he had loved her, he remembered their first love. “I’ll stay home tonight, baby. I didn’t think you missed … my lovin. But, Rose, ya too weak for me to fool around with ya. It takes all my stren’t to stay away from ya, but I got to do it cause I want ya to be well again.”

She fell back into her pillows. “I miss everything about you; me and Myine miss you.”