Life Is Short But Wide (12 page)

“I don’t want Leroy, for your information.”

“Now, Mz. Rose, who is a liar!?” Ethel hadn’t intended to tell, but she couldn’t hold it in. “And another thing, Mz. Rose, I done already got another place for me to live. My mama got that house cross the street your friend, Bertha, use to rent. It’s big,
but we gonna rent some rooms out. Colored peoples need some place to rest in this town.”

Rose started to say something else, then caught herself as she thought, “Why am I talking to this woman?” She turned to go up the steps and into her house. She locked the door, then leaned against it, moaning, “Oh, Mama. Aw, Tante.”

Before Rose’s classes started again, Joseph had cleared up the problems in the little classroom. His young friend Herman Tenderman had helped him; not for money, just for friendship and a little food. Joseph also had a friend who knew some plumbing. Rose used some of her little savings she had and put plumbing in the classroom. She had a cesspool placed some distance from her house. “I’m tired of having to clean out my outhouse after everybody!”

She didn’t put plumbing in the big house. “I’ll wait til I get married, then
he
can do it.” She didn’t quite know who “he” was just yet. She was hoping it was Leroy. “He’ll have a job.”

When her classes did start there were fewer students coming. There were some small secondary public schools in Wideland now. As time
passed a few students, shamed in the larger newer schools by their poor clothes, returned to her classes, somehow embarrassed among all the students and teachers at the larger school. Prejudice was not a great pressure on the colored people, not as horrific as in other Southern places, but it was in Oklahoma just the same.

There were people who helped, and you could relax a bit, if you had the money. But times were still hard, and jobs still hard to find. Rose took on an extra job watching little children for a white family. It wasn’t much money, but it came in very handy. She could afford to make lunch or dinner for Leroy, who now came every day except on the weekends. He said, “I work harder on those days. They really need me. I have to be there all day.”

Leroy became a mighty regular visitor. Leroy was speaking love to Rose. He realized Rose owed nothing on her house and land, and had no real bills to worry about. She was frugal, and she grew her own food. She even had eggs to sell to the grocery stores. Sometimes she walked a few blocks over to the better part of town and sold her eggs directly, saving some of her own money from the middleman.

Leroy had kissed her, but it had gone no farther than that … yet. She was talking marriage. Inconsequence, he proposed, even as he thought, “I don’t have to sure-nuff go through with this here marriage. I can change my own mind any ole time.” He chewed on his fingernail a moment, thoughtfully. “But, you know I kind’a like this here woman. She ain’t that hard to take no way. Fact is, she is really nice. Cooks and ever-thin.

“I didn’t get none of that poontang yet, but hell, there ain’t no bad poon; just better poon.” He grinned to himself at his wit.

He even began to give her a few dollars every week, to help with the food he ate, and to make a good impression.

Then everything did go farther. One night, as he was gently kissing her, he slid his hand under her dress. He felt her stiffen, and stilled his hand, whispering, “What’sa matter, baby?”

In a soft, tiny little voice she answered, “I’m scared, Leroy.”

“What you scared of? I ain’t gonna hurt ya.” He felt her body trembling; something in his heart softened him, made him care for the woman who was so kind to him. “You’a virgin or some-thin?”

“I don’t know.”

“How you not gonna know?” He stood up. He had no intention of leaving, he was himself excited and surprised. This was a new experience for him. A woman he knew cared for him, backing away from him. “Mercy me!” Somebody no one else had had?! He thought of Tonya, his usual regular girl. He had thought he loved Tonya!

So, yes, he had a regular girlfriend. They were supposed to get married … some day. But, she was a hell-raiser. “She didn’t take no shit!” That’s where he spent most of his weekends. He was ready to let Rose go in a minute, if Tonya found out.

But, he thought, “Rose is so peaceful, so, well… nice! She clean, and she got a school. And this house; it’s always clean. Tonya ain’t got nothin but a good lovin, a rent shack, and she pretty. And I guess I love her.”

He looked down at Rose sitting huddled, quietly, into herself. He felt sorry for her. He kneeled down on the floor beside her, putting his arms around her. She wrapped her arms around his neck, leaning her head on his shoulder. Rose nearly whispered, “You can do it; I won’t be scared anymore.”

He had almost made up his mind to leave … for that evening. But he felt her warm, sweet-smelling body, clinging to him. He laid her back in his arms, on the couch, intending only to kiss her again. He laid her back, but she held on to him. His hand just automatically moved to her knees again.

As they kissed, Rose grew warmer and warmer toward Leroy. She relaxed. His hand slowly moved up her firm, warm thighs. Neither one of them was thinking much. His hand covered that place the minister had abused; Leroy’s hand healed it. She became moist, but he still didn’t hurry. He soothed, and rubbed, lightly, caressing her private, secret, and sweet part.

Then things just happened. Slowly and naturally, they happened. They were alone. It was quiet. It was a warm night. She smelled good, so did he. It just happened. It hurt a little, but Leroy kept his lips pressed to her lips, his tongue was soothing to her. He just made everything so easy … so smooth, and natural. It just happened. And then, it was over, and she was truly a virgin no more.

It was good enough, personal enough, that Leroy forgot Tonya, and whatever their plans might have been. He decided, “I am gonna marry this woman. Rose is my woman. Only mine. I’m the only one!”

It happened several more times, just naturally, but then Rose was deep into planning her wedding. She was so happy. “And sex isn’t all that bad neither after that first hurting. That was really bad, but Leroy says it’s going to get better!” she thought happily, to herself.

•

Of course, as everyone heard the news, some people came by to spend a short spell with her, to talk. We have a whole lot of old people round here, and you know they always watch the young’uns. But Ethel wasn’t watchin cause she was old, but because she was a trouble makin little woman who would argue with the whole world if she could. She was watchin Rose cause she was jealous. Jealousy is a dangerous thing-, you should never take a jealous, envious person lightly.

One morning, a month or so later, Ethel caught Rose out in the yard and came from across the street, saying, “Girl, why don’t ya just live wit em? That be nough of Leroy for anybody! Ya gonna have to eat shit a mile long, chile. That man don’t love ya. All them pretty womens who want him! Why he gonna pick ya?! All ya got is that ragiddy house over here, and a few scraggly, skinny chickens! I heard he said ya ain’t even got no shape on ya; them skinny legs of yourn.”

Bertha happened to hear everything because Ethel was standing in the street when she said it. Bertha hollered out, “Rose, don’t ya listen to her, she jes jealous. Moore never did really marry her. They jes live together. She ain’t never been married her own self!”

At last, and anyway, the marriage was accomplished. They said, “I do.” Leroy was a little slow in saying it, but he said it. He was bruised a bit, from Tonya fighting him. Rose looked at him, waiting for him to say the words, bewildered a moment. But the words came out, and then she said her words. The minister said his words, and the marriage was complete. They were married. Man and Wife.

Leroy moved right into the house Val and Irene had left to
their children. Tante didn’t come. “My work,” she said, but she sent a silver tea set. Real silver plate. Beautiful silver plate.

Ethel and her mother, Alberta, were among a rather good crowd of guests. Ethel looked at the silver set sideways, saying, “That ain’t real! That some cheap stuff, or her sister done stole it from somebody she work for. I knows good stuff when I sees it! and that ain’t good!”

Ethel didn’t have a new man yet, and only one male tenant in her new-to-her house. Her mother, Alberta, moved in with her to help her, and to save money. Then all the voices raised in arguments heard in the neighborhood were Ethel’s and her mother’s. Long, fierce, ugly arguments that Ethel started and wouldn’t let go.

Finally even the badly needed tenant moved out, and soon, Ethel’s mother was packing up to go back where she had been before she came to help her daughter. She slammed the front door behind her as she left, saying, “I got high blood, and sugar! Ya ain’t gonna kill me like ya did that last man of yo’rn! That’s all you do is argue and fuss.” Alberta did not move back in with her daughter, but time had healed wounds, and they came to the wedding together.

There weren’t many wedding gifts, but they weren’t expected. People were still struggling to survive even though the depression was lifting somewhat. Rose was a beautiful bride in her homemade white cotton gown. She loved the bouquet too much to throw it away, but she threw a few flowers at the waiting ladies. Three or four of them, feeling beautiful in homemade handmade bridesmaid gowns, were happy to catch even one or two of the flowers. Juliet, watching, didn’t even try.

Rose was surprised, and very happy, to see some of Wings’s
family there. Especially Dreaming Cloud, one of Wings’s favorite nephews, who had come with him several times to check on Rose. Cloud spent most of his time talking to Juliet. They both loved books, and beauty, like most dreamers.

He had begun to come alone, bearing gifts; Juliet was so happy to have someone who came just to see her. Juliet had even begun to spend her little basket money for things like cologne, makeup, bangles, and bows.

Bertha had thought a bit fearfully, “Lord, I ain’t ready for no problems with my cripple child.” After a few moments looking at her happier daughter, she thought, “Well, ain’t she a woman, too?” She didn’t want her daughter hurt. She was preparing things in Rose’s kitchen, but she watched as Cloud had helped Juliet get to the wedding, seating her in a perfect place to see everything. Bertha shook her head slowly, and breathed a small sigh of hesitant happiness and relief.

Rose’s heart was so full of love and appreciation. It felt as though Wings had come to wish her life his blessings, and, she felt, a part of her father was there.

Bertha had baked two lovely, two-layered cakes with jellybeans sprinkled on them (stolen by Bertha, who was not a regular thief, but this was different, this was her friend’s wedding!). Everyone was able to get a small piece of cake, and some of the little fingerfoods on the buffet. Too soon for some, people were leaving the gay little wedding party.

Leroy kept on the lookout for Tonya to show up. He was nervous, and was relieved when she didn’t. He put his arm around Rose’s shoulder as they walked to the front door to say good-bye to their guests. They looked good standing there together, smiling.

The young boy, Herman Tenderman, had followed his aunt to the wedding, but she wouldn’t let him come in. “Because,” she said, “ya too raggity! Ya makes me look bad! Go on home!” He could hear the sounds of gaiety inside the house, and he knew they usually served food at these things. He wanted, needed, some food. The young man was near starving; not only for food, but for some joy in life.

So the boy, Herman, hung around, leaning on the fence near the front door. This was where he came to school, sometimes; he knew Mz. Rose, he thought proudly, and Mz. Bertha. They helped him with some of his problems. They all liked each other.

Just as he thought, when Rose saw him, she waved to him; he knew he would have a piece of cake, or some of anything she had left. Herman had become one of the important students to Rose. Bertha prepared a plate for him when she had prepared one for Joseph.

The next few months seemed blissful to Rose. Leroy made her happy, and she made him happy. He could mostly do any of the things he liked to do. But, other than perhaps a few brief stops a week at the local juke joint, he went home after his job was done. He gave Rose his paycheck because he could see the evidence of where she spent it. He always kept a few dollars for his own, just to feel them in his pocket.