Legends! Beasts and Monsters

Introduction

The Riddle of the Sphinx

Greek

The Incredible Spotted Egg

Cheyenne Indian

The Dragon and Saint George

English

The Washer at the Ford

Celtic

The Gorgon’s Head

Greek

Ten Brilliant Beasts and Marvellous Monsters you might not have heard of

This is not a new book. In fact, I wrote most of these myths and legends a very long time ago. I was twenty-eight at the time and in bed with glandular fever. Over a period of
three months, I wrote (or rather, retold) thirty-five stories, and these were published in a book called THE KINGFISHER BOOK OF MYTHS AND LEGENDS. It’s rather frightening to think that they
have been in print now for almost thirty years.

The good news is that they’re back in a completely new shape. The stories have been reinvented, with brand new illustrations, and they’re published in six smaller editions.

A quick note on the thinking behind these retellings.

I’ve always loved myths and legends but some of the versions that I read when I was in my teens tended to be a bit dry. That is to say, they didn’t have many jokes. There
wasn’t enough blood. The authors always made me feel that I was reading something serious and important just because the stories were so famous and so ancient – and the language they
used was almost deliberately old-fashioned. It was a bit like walking around a museum, looking at dusty relics behind glass cases with ‘Do Not Touch’ signs all over the place.

Lying in bed with my grapes and
Beano
comics, I made two decisions. First of all, I would have fun. I would try to write the stories as if they were being told for the first time. Just
because I was dealing with heroes and gods, I wouldn’t be too reverential. And I also wanted to cast my net wide. I wouldn’t just tell the stories that everyone knew – the Trojan
Horse, the Minotaur, and so on. Nearly all the most famous stories come from the Ancient Greeks. But every culture has its own myths and legends. So I would also look at the tales of the Chinese,
the Egyptians, the Cheyenne Indians, the Celts, the Incas and so on, all around the world.

Anyway, this is the result of my work all those years ago. I must confess that I have taken this opportunity to rewrite some of the stories a bit. Reading them again, I took out some of the more
feeble jokes. I shortened some of the descriptions and cut bits that I thought were boring. And just for the hell of it, I’ve added a couple of new myths and legends. In this book, for
example, you’ll find the story of THE WASHER AT THE FORD, which I’ve always wanted to tell.

It’s amazing to think how much has happened since I started work on this collection. When I first wrote these stories (on a typewriter – there were no computers then), I wasn’t
married. My two sons hadn’t been born. I was renting a room in a flat in West London. And a certain Alex Rider didn’t exist, not even as a flicker in my mind.

It was all a long time ago. But the stories existed a very long time before that. In fact they’ve existed for centuries and provided we keep on telling them, they will surely survive for
centuries more.

‘What creature has four legs in the morning, two legs in the afternoon and three legs in the evening?’

This was almost certainly the first riddle ever invented. It was told by a ghastly creature that had arrived one day outside the city of Thebes in Ancient Greece. The creature was called the
Sphinx and it had the head of a woman, the body of a lion, the wings of an eagle and the tail of a snake. There was only one road to Thebes and you could not get into the city without passing the
creature. And you could not pass the creature (which was also very large and very fast) without being asked the riddle.

One of the first people who came across the Sphinx was a young man called Haemon. He had been on his way to see his uncle, who happened to be the King of Thebes, when he found his way blocked.
Many other people would have run away from so bizarre a mixture of bird, beast, snake and woman, but Haemon, coming from royal stock, was afraid of nothing.

‘Stand where you are!’ the Sphinx demanded with the voice of an angry school teacher. Its tail writhed in the dust and its wings beat at the air.

‘What do you want?’ Haemon asked, his hand falling to his sword.

‘I have a riddle for you,’ the Sphinx said.

‘A riddle?’ Haemon relaxed. ‘That sounds fun. What is it?’

‘What creature has four legs in the morning, two legs in the afternoon and three legs in the evening?’

‘Well . . . let me see now. Four legs in the morning? It’s not a dog or anything like that? I did once see a goat with three legs, but it wasn’t alive so I suppose that
doesn’t count. A frog perhaps? I don’t know. I give in . . .’

The words were no sooner out of his mouth than the Sphinx pounced. Using its wings, it leaped up in the air. Then its tail slithered round Haemon’s neck and began to tighten. And finally,
while its woman’s face laughed insanely, its claws tore him into several pieces and in seconds the road was slippery with blood – which is one of the very earliest jokes, for
‘haimon’ is the Greek word for ‘bloody’. But Haemon, who was by this time being devoured, did not find it very funny.

Nor did the people of Thebes. When they discovered that it was impossible to get anywhere near the city without being confronted by a horrible monster, asked an impossible riddle, and torn apart
when you failed to get it right, they almost had a riot. But there was nothing they could do. It was a bad year for business in Thebes. The bottom fell out of the tourism industry. Although King
Laius and Queen Jocasta – who ruled over the city – offered a huge reward to anyone who could rid them of the Sphinx, the prize was never claimed.

Of course, princes and warriors came from far and wide to chance their arm against the creature, but it could not be destroyed by sword or arrow. Its hide was as hard as iron. Its huge claws
were razor-sharp. Its wings would carry it into the air and its tail would tighten round your throat before you could blink. Some people tried to answer the riddle. As the months passed, all manner
of answers were tried: rats, bats, cats, gnats and ocelots were just some of the unsuccessful ones. Every day another scream would split the air and fresh blood would splatter on the road.

Eventually the situation became so bad that the king decided he would have to do something about it himself.

‘If only we knew why this horrible creature was here,’ he said, ‘we might be able to find a way to get rid of it.’

‘Why not ask the Oracle?’ Queen Jocasta suggested.

The Oracle was the name given to a priestess who could not only tell the future but also answer any question put to her. As soon as the queen had mentioned it, Laius wondered why he had never
thought of the Oracle himself.

‘An excellent idea, my dear,’ he said. ‘I’ll set off at once.’

Now, had King Laius ever reached the Oracle, he would have had a nasty shock. For the truth of the matter was that it was entirely his own fault that the Sphinx was there – even if he
didn’t know it.

A short while before, Laius had gone to stay with a friend of his and had taken a fancy to the friend’s son. In fact, he had gone so far as to carry off the boy, Chrysippus, and keep him
locked up as a servant in his palace at Thebes. Eventually Chrysippus had killed himself, and that might have been that, had not the entire episode been witnessed by Hera, the queen of the gods. It
was to punish King Laius that she had sent the Sphinx to Thebes.

But King Laius never reached the Oracle and never found this out. For, driving along the road in his chariot, he came across a young man who was actually on his way to Thebes to challenge the
Sphinx. It was a narrow road and there wasn’t enough room for the two of them to pass. They exchanged angry words. Then King Laius drove his chariot over the young man’s foot. The young
man, who had a rather violent temper, responded by hurling his spear through the king’s stomach before continuing on his way.