Leena’s Dream (2 page)

A
day
on the road had left Leena punchy, and she needed something to help her unwind. Instead she found herself sitting in Doctor West’s office catching up with Nora while Destiny slept on the sofa. This sweet family tugged her heartstrings. Destiny was not Meredith. The place itself brought the memory back to the forefront of her thoughts, nothing more. The little girl was winning her fight against cancer…unlike Meredith.

“I really wish you’d stay with us. There’s plenty of room and…” Nora shoved a strand a hair behind her ear and glanced at her daughter. “What the hell am I saying? You staying with us is an awful idea. She’ll never let you be. She’s your biggest fan.”

“She’s a sweetheart.” She glanced over at the sleeping child, her face so soft and full of innocence while that hospital gown announced the horrors she had gone through. “Does she get to go home?”

“Yes. She’s on an experimental program that’s helping.” When Nora met Leena’s gaze, there was fear in her eyes, but also a sparkle of excitement. “We’re winning the fight but it’s not over yet. Though, even as I say it, I know we’ve done it before. Winning the fight doesn’t mean you win the war. It only means you get to live another day.”

“But she’s making progress and you’ve got the best doctors working with her. She’s strong and…”
Meredith was strong and in the end she lost.
She knew the memories would come flooding back just from being here, but she hadn’t expected them to be so intense. Her mother had warned her, even begged her not to do the charity event, but she thought she knew best. That she could handle it…maybe she was wrong.

Nora lifted the mug of tea to her lips and took a long sip before nodding. “We’re not here to talk about Destiny. Tell me what’s been happening with you? You’ve been riding high lately. Your last single was at number one for five weeks. That’s amazing. But where were you when that was happening? You disappeared for a few weeks. Is there a special someone in your life?”

“Just work.” With a lighthearted chuckle, Leena glanced at the photograph of Nora and Brian. She longed for what Nora had obviously found, not once but twice in her life. She had been married to Destiny’s father, and while she didn’t know much about him, she knew Nora loved him. He had been killed while serving overseas, leaving Nora a widow and Destiny fatherless. Though, she wasn’t fatherless any longer; she had Doctor West.

She wanted someone who would look at her the same way Brian and Nora looked at each other. To share with someone the love that was clear between them. That was the one thing she was missing in her life. The one thing she had wanted more and more as each day passed and she found herself alone yet again.
I had it once and I walked away from it for my career.

“So if there isn’t someone special then what happened to you? You were holed up in your mansion outside of Nashville, Tennessee…” Nora set the mug aside and leaned in closer. “I don’t mean to pry but I was worried about you. Trina gave me the run around, saying you needed time before your tour started again. Just tell me you were okay and that you…that this wasn’t the reason.”

“No, this had nothing to do with it.” Leena forced her attention back to Nora. “My backup singer, Nat…since her husband was killed in a hit and run, she’s been having a hard time. Instead of turning to the people surrounding her, or focusing on her son, she turned to alcohol. Child protective services got involved and were going to remove her son from her care because of how bad things were.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I was able to take her son and care for her while she was getting sober. Because of that I opted to stay home, to keep him and the situation out of the media. He’s nearly two and didn’t need that exposure.” Her time with Oliver had been a turning point for her. She had wanted more from life than just her career for some time, but caring for him had made her realize she’d give up her career if it meant she could have a family of her own. She’d miss getting up on the stage and singing her heart out, or working her ass off in the studio, but there were other important things in life. Family…she hadn’t realized how important that was until recently.

“Where’s the child now?”

“He’s with his mother and aunt. She’s been sober for a bit, and now that Nat’s sister is back in the country, I wasn’t needed any longer. They’re both taking time off to make sure Nat stays clean and to provide Oliver with a somewhat normal life. Waking up every day in the same bed must beat the hell out of night after night in different hotel rooms, because they seem to be enjoying it. Though it sucks for me because I’m going to have to find a replacement for Nat soon.”

“You love what you do so it makes the ups and downs of it more bearable, but when children are thrown into the mix it sometimes means sacrifices.” Nora turned toward Destiny. “I loved my job, especially working with you, but when Destiny’s cancer returned I was given no choice but to risk her, or walk away from my career. I chose my daughter and I’d do it again if I had to.”

They sat there in silence for a few minutes. Each second left Leena wondering how to move past this and away from the sensitive subject of children. She still hadn’t come up with anything to say when Nora turned back around. “Sometimes the hardest decisions lead us to something we need most of all.”

“You mean like when they say when one door closes another one opens?”

“Yeah, but if one doesn’t open right away you build one. Or you find a window. Whatever works.” Nora’s lips curled into a smile. “For me it brought me Brian, and I can do great things for Hope’s Toy Chest.” The door behind them opened. “Speaking of him, there he is.”

Brian stepped into the room and slipped out of his white doctor’s coat before he hung it on a peg. He left his stethoscope dangling around his neck as he strolled toward his wife, then leaned down and kissed her cheek. “Darling.”

“Done for the day?”

“Barring any emergencies, yes.” He rubbed a hand along her back. “We should get Destiny home so she can rest. Leena, if you don’t already have plans, we’d love for you to join us for dinner this evening. Your crew is more than welcome as well.”

“I’d love to, but I’ve got an overseas virtual interview with a reporter this evening.” She ran her hand along her thigh. “Can I have a rain check?”

“Certainly.” He smiled at her before moving to the sofa to lift Destiny into his arms. “I’ll just keep her snug in the blanket and we won’t have to wake her. She can change out of her hospital gown when we get home.”

Nora rose and slipped her purse strap over her shoulder. “Tomorrow is Destiny’s day off from treatment and I promised her she could swim if she felt up to it. Why don’t you come over in the afternoon? We’ll have lunch and go over everything.”

“We can send a car for you instead of having your bus driver bring you,” Brian offered as he tucked the blanket around Destiny.

“I’ll be there but there’s no need for the car. I’ve already made arrangements for there to be one at the hotel for me. There are a few places I want to visit while I’m here, especially D’s Pizza.” She rose and decided there was no better time than tonight to revisit that memory.

A few minutes later, Brian and Nora had made their exit and Leena found herself strolling down the halls of the hospital with no end goal in sight. She had decided on D’s Pizza for dinner, but she wasn’t ready to leave yet. Her mind wondered as she glanced out the window at the end of the hall.
Build a door or find a window.
That was easier said than done. Hadn’t she been searching for the door that would bring her the happiness she so badly craved? She explored every option, even ran her hands along the walls to see if there was a catch for a hidden door, but still it remained obscured.

“There you are.” Trina strolled toward Leena, her shoulders tight and her gaze full of annoyance. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you. Let’s get out of here. I don’t understand why you agreed to this event. This place gives me the creeps.”

“Imagine being one of the children here.” Her voice was low but from the terror in Trina’s eyes there was no doubt that she’d heard her.

“What a horrible thought.” Trina glanced down the hall before turning back to Leena. “Come on. I can’t stand to be here another minute.”

“Go on.”

“What?” Trina’s eyes widened with shock. “You said we had to come meet with the organizer. We did that, now let’s go.”

“Go ahead. Larry has the information for the hotel. I’ll take a cab.” She didn’t care if she had to walk, she wasn’t leaving yet.

“You have an early—”

“I know what I have.” She cut off her assistant before she could remind her of the schedule for the next day. “Now just go.” After Trina stood there for a moment, obviously shocked, she scurried away.

Leena realized she’d have to deal with Trina later but at the moment she wasn’t in the mood to be reminded of her duties and commitments. Memories of Meredith and their time here at Cedar Grove Children’s Hospital were flooding back with a vengeance. She couldn’t slam the floodgates closed and they were beginning to overwhelm her.

She placed her hand against the window and tried to steady herself. Her heart raced as her memories gained control of her. One moment she was standing in the hallway looking out over the medical complex floors below, and the next she was thirteen again, visiting her sister in that very hospital.

She leaned against the wall by a window, her arms crossed over her chest, as she waited for Meredith’s doctor to finish talking to her parents. Anger simmered inside her since they’d shoved her out of the room. Why couldn’t she know what was happening with her sister? She was old enough to understand. Why did her parents feel the need to treat her like a child? It wasn’t like she was stupid. She knew her sister was dying. A tear rolled down her cheek and her chest tightened.

“You’re not a patient, so you must be visiting someone. I’ve seen you around here before.” A pale boy stepped out of the room across the hall wearing a thin hospital gown, gray sweats, and a warn gray and white ball cap covering his bald head. “Someone as beautiful as you shouldn’t be sad.”

“My sister.” She wiped the tear away. “This place is full of sadness. You sick?”

“Pretty obvious, isn’t it?” He glanced down at the gown. “With the port-a-cath, they won’t let me wear anything but this stupid gown. But one day…one day I’m going to get out of here.”

“You’re not dying, then?” She shook her head, making her bangs flutter. “Sorry, that was insensitive. My sister…she’s dying and my parents are pretending it’s not happening. That I’m blind and don’t see it with my own eyes.”

“It’s hard for families to face it. They don’t want to lose a child, so they pretend that everyone is wrong.” He held onto the doorframe, using it for support. “Trust me. I should know.”

“Your parents are doing the same thing? Pretending you’re not sick?”

“Naw, they’re long gone. Left me when they found out the diagnosis, but I don’t need them. I’m going to sail through this and make something of myself.”

“I’m sorry. I mean, that’s awful. Even though my parents are blind to what’s happening, I can’t imagine my life without them.”

“It’s better this way.” He tugged his ball cap lower over his eyes. “They were worried about the hospital bills. Dad’s a mechanic and Mom worked part-time at the grocery store. They had no health insurance and a sick kid wasn’t in their plans.”

“That’s no reason to ditch you.” Had her parents thought about leaving Meredith alone once they learned she had cancer? “What’s your name?”

“Turner. You?”

A hand touched her shoulder, pulling her back from her memories and tearing her away from Turner again. That was the second time he’d been ripped from her, leaving a hole in her heart. What happened to him? They had spent many hours together, most of the time talking, but when he was at his sickest she sat by his bed giving him the support she could. He had been her best friend and her first love, but her parents tugged her away from the hospital and away from all the memories after Meredith died. Then her career started and somewhere along the line her love for Turner seemed to fall into the back of her mind.

“Miss…are you okay?” The older of her two guards, Kendrick, stood next to her, his hand on her shoulder. He was toned and wide enough that he made people step back with a single look. But under all of it was a man with a kind heart, his steel blue eyes staring down at her with a compassion she hadn’t seen before. For a brief moment she thought he knew what she was going through, but it was impossible. Not even the media had resurrected her family’s secret—Meredith—and that was for the best. Her mother wouldn’t be able to deal with it again.

“Yes.” Her voice broke and she closed her eyes to try to rebuild the walls she’d constructed between her and the past. “I’m fine.”

He tugged a hand through his dark brown wavy hair. “Maybe we should escort you to the hotel, so you can get some rest.”

“Soon. I want to walk around the hospital for a bit longer.” She didn’t bother to tell her guards that they could go on to the hotel without her. Instead, she ran her fingers under her eyes to wipe away any tears, and headed down the hall. Nora had given her a list of some of the children who were fans and might enjoy a visit. She’d check to see who might be awake, alone, and in need of company, and go from there.

She turned the corner and bumped into a man. The same piercing forest green eyes that had been haunting her memories only minutes before glared back at her.
It can’t be…

T
urner Hightower stepped
off the elevator and found himself face to face with a woman he had thought about countless times over the years. He placed his hand on her arm to steady her from their collision, and his heart rose into his throat. He knew she would be at the hospital but he hadn’t expected this. Maybe he didn’t want it, either. She had been part of his past. A past he had tried to forget.

“Turner…” His name came out as a whisper as she licked her lips and stared up at him. “It can’t be…you’re…”

“Dead?” he supplied.

“Uhh…” She stumbled, tongue-tied, which was so unlike her.

“Well, as you can see, I’m alive and breathing.”

“Miss, do you know this man?” Kendrick came to her side, his back straight, as if ready for a confrontation.

“Yes.” She stepped back so they were no longer touching and took a deep breath. “It’s fine, Kendrick.”

“Guards?” He raised an eyebrow. “There was a time I only had to deal with preoccupied parents.”

“They’re a long story. What are you doing here?”

“Work.” He adjusted his shoulder briefcase. “Actually, I was just leaving. Would you like to grab a cup of coffee and catch up?” The moment those words left his mouth he was both hopeful and kicking himself. When he heard the news she was headlining the charity concert, he promised himself he’d stay away from her. Their time together had passed, and the superstar country singer didn’t need to be reminded of the dying boy she had known years before. So what the hell was he doing?

“Yeah, that would be great.” She glanced over to see that some of the nursing staff had gathered, watching them. “Umm, maybe somewhere private?”

“I can do one better.” He tipped his head to the elevator.

“Where are we going?”

He pressed the button and waited for the doors to shut. “My office. Your guys can wait outside without worrying about you and we can catch up.”

“Miss, I’d advise against this.” Kendrick didn’t even look back at her from where he stood near the door, ready to check the hall before she exited.

“It’s your job to, so I’m sure Turner won’t hold it against you.” She glanced toward Turner, eyeing him. “I’m sure he’ll have no objection to your checking the room first.”

“No objection.” He glanced at the man she called Kendrick and the other unknown man, both of them all business. He didn’t know much about musicians but it struck him as odd for her to have two bodyguards following her around everywhere she went. Was she in some kind of danger? If Nora had known and brought this threat to the hospital premises, it could be a legal nightmare for him if something happened.

After her guards checked the hallway, they stepped off the elevator and he nodded to the left. “Third door on the right. This floor is all offices and most of the others have gone for the day.”

“Working late, or hoping to run into me?”

He unlocked his office, pushed the door open for Kendrick, and debated his answer. He had planned to dodge her, even shoved his work into his bag before he left so that he could avoid the hospital over the weekend. But he had planned on being out of here hours ago. Had he unknowingly stuck around to see if he’d catch a glimpse of her? “Maybe a bit of both.”

She smiled up at him and he realized it wasn’t as bright as it had been before. There was a sadness barely visible underneath the smile. She was living the dream she always wanted. Wasn’t it everything she’d hoped? They had talked for hours about her dreams of making it as a singer. While he had supported her and hoped she’d make it, he was realistic enough to know even then that it was a hard business. She had the voice and the body to make any man fall to his knees. It was her heart he’d worried about. As a teenager she’d been a sweet girl, one who wanted to see the good in people. The music business could tear that out of someone.

“It’s clear.” Kendrick appeared in the doorway. “But I must once again advise against this. You do not know—”

“True.” She cut him off. “But I know him. Now, if you’ll excuse us.” She stepped past Kendrick and strolled into the office.

“We’ll leave the door open, so you can see I mean her no harm. We’re old…friends.” It didn’t cover what happened between them. They had been more than friends but maybe it was just young love. It felt like so much more than that.

Their gazes met and he saw sadness in her eyes again. “We were more than that.”

“So we were.” He strolled toward the buffet where his coffee station was. “I can offer you coffee or whiskey. The coffee will take a few minutes but it will be fresh.”

“You don’t seem like a whiskey man to me.” She stood near the window, turning her head to look over her shoulder at him. “Coffee, if you don’t mind. I need something warm.”

“It’s the chill of yesterdays.” He scooped out the coffee grounds and added it to the filter before flicking the pot on. “I remember the first time I stepped into the building again. The ghosts were everywhere and it was overwhelming. Probably more so for you because you lost Meredith here.”

“I lost her long before she died.” Even as she said it, she ran her hands down her arms.

You lost her and I lost you. One day you were there and the next you were gone. A phone call and a letter, then nothing. I almost wondered if I had dreamed you into existence.
“I’m sorry.”

“Thanks.” She turned back to the window. “She fought but in the end she couldn’t win the battle. My parents were never the same. They lived in denial of what was happening to her and now they live in a shell. They don’t go out with friends, or even out by themselves. They stay home, in the same house where I was raised. I’ve tried to get them out of there, move them somewhere else. It didn’t have to be Nashville, but they need to get out of that house and away from all the memories that linger there. But Dad doesn’t want to leave.”

“For some it would be like she’s gone all over again. By staying there, they can hold on to the memories they have of her and keep part of her alive.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and forced himself to stay where he was even though everything in him told him to go to her.

“Memories…for some it’s a comfort, for me it’s a knife in the heart. I can’t stand to visit them because I know what it will be like. It’s not just her room that’s a tomb, it’s the whole house.” She tugged a strand of her long brown hair behind her ear. “After she died, Dad focused on his auto restoration business and Mom shoved me toward music. My brother, Dan, had started college. It was like we were all going our separate ways. It was life but there was this divide between them and there still is. Dad refuses to leave because of his business, but I think Mom would if she could. Since she can’t she tries to push me in the direction she wants.”

After a moment of silence she turned toward him. “I’m sorry. Bitching about my parents and losing my sister. It’s rude of me.”

“It’s fine.” It was better to talk about what her life had been like since he’d last seen her than to make small talk.

“It’s not, but the only excuse I have is…when I saw you, all the years apart fell away and we were both teenagers again.”

Memories of one treatment after another played through his thoughts. He had been convinced he was going to die. “I’d rather not relive those years again.”

“Me neither, but…” She turned back to him, meeting his gaze. “I’ve missed you. Through the years, I’ve thought about you…”

“Me too.” Oh, he had thought about her, craved her presence. Every day he had hoped she would come back to the hospital and visit him, but it never happened. Months later, he was released and that door slammed shut. She had no way of contacting him and he had sent enough letters over the months leading up to it that he let it close without fighting it.

She ran her hand across the top of his high back leather office chair, dragging her fingers over it, and refused to look at him. “But it’s not enough, is it?”

“What?” He wasn’t sure what she meant. It wasn’t enough to what?

“To bridge the gap back to what we had.” She pinched the top of her nose. “I’m sorry…this was a bad idea, I should go.” She stepped away from the chair and moved to the door.

Before she could make it to the hallway he stepped into her path, blocking her way. “Why? Why didn’t you come back? Why didn’t you reply to one of my letters? Did you just want to put everything about this place behind you, including me?”

“What?” Her eyes widened. “I wrote you every week for months and you never wrote back. Then Mom got a call from you while I was at an audition. You were discharged and left no way for me to contact you. Damn you, I had bought a bus ticket and was coming to see you. I wanted to know why you cut me off. But how was I supposed to find you if you weren’t at the hospital?” She stepped around him.

Realization dawned on him. Why hadn’t he considered the one person who’d always stood in the way of their friendship would go that far? Sabotage from within her own house. He reached out and wrapped his hand around her bicep.

“Let go of me.” Her voice cracked. “I can’t do this.”

Kendrick stood in the doorway. “Is there a problem here?”

“Send your guard dog back to the hall.” His voice was rough with emotion. “Five minutes. Damn it, Leena, that’s all I’m asking for, five minutes and then you can leave and I won’t stop you. I’ll stay out of your way while you’re here.”

She stared at him long enough that he doubted she’d do what he asked. “It’s okay, Kendrick.”

The guard paused a heartbeat before stepping back out of the door. Instead of watching the hallway as he had before, he stood so that he could keep an eye on them and let the younger guard handle the rest of the area. Not that there was anything happening in the hallway. With most of the administration staff gone for the day, it was quiet.

“That’s the best you’re going to get out of him, and you’re wasting time,” she said. “Say your piece.”

He let go of her arm but didn’t move away from her. “Your mother…” He let his words die off as he wondered what the hell he was doing. She’d stood in his way of being with Leena, but that didn’t mean he should slash through her heart just to explain why they’d lost touch. What did it matter all these years later?
Because I still love her.
He had fallen in love with the teen girl, but the woman before him still stirred the same emotions. “Fuck.”