Leaving Serenity (5 page)

             
“Good, thanks.”

             
Greg stood by the window and looked outside. “I saw your sister out there on the court. She’s pretty, but you’re prettier than her.”

             
I was so flattered that I nearly choked on the hot chocolate.
“For real?”

             
“Oh,
for sure.
You’re taller than her. I like tall girls.”

             
Greg stayed by the window. He was probably nervous, like me. I
tr
ied
to think
of something to say, but nothing came to mind. The hot chocolate was
gone, and
I set the cup next to my coat spread across the concrete. Greg nodded, walked over, and sat beside me.

“Ooo, this is better. You feel warm,” he said, as he wrapped his arm around me and snuggled in closer.

             
“You cold?” he asked.

             
“I’m okay.”

             
“You scared?” he asked.

             
His face was so close to mine.
I fel
t
myself getting lost in his acne-free complexion and dark, shaggy hair falling over one eye
.
He’s so cute!
I thought.

I exhaled a nervous laugh. “Should I be?”

Greg grabbed on my
chin, and said, “Not with me.”

He kissed me while leaning me back onto the floor. I just let go and relaxed as his hands moved over my body.
This is much better than watching the game in the freezing wind
. Then his cold hand reached into my loose fitting hip-huggers. His closed lips were pressed hard against mine. I starte
d to squirm and push him away.

Greg backed off, smiled, and said, “Take it easy. Just warming my hands. Feels good.”

He slid one hand under my bra and lowered my hip-huggers with the other hand. The bra clasp broke, and he removed the hand
in
my pants.

“Oops, sorry about that.”

“That’s okay, but I…”

Greg smiled. He pressed the heel of his free hand over my mouth. I felt a hard jab. My eyes popped wide from the pain. I cried out, but the only sound I heard was “mum—mum
.”
Pinned underneath him, I squirmed harder and gasped for air. His fingers clawed at my open eyes as he pounded m
y back into the concrete floor.

I cut my eyes toward the light streaming through the open door. I moaned louder,
hoping that the four shadows standing in the doorway would make him stop
. The door closed behind them.

Someone said, “Hey
Man, what’s going on in here?”

Greg groaned loudly, and said, “I’m done.”

Greg climbed off
me
, but
kept his hand pressed
against my face. I swung my fist and grabbed his hair as it made contact with his head. As my feet scrambled to get up, another boy pushed my legs down. The big boy’s bare belly was hanging over me.

He snarled as he tore my hand away from Greg’s hair. “Whoa, whoa, settle down now. You was a lot nicer when you was huggin’ on that niggra girl.”

The big boy’s flannel shirt flopped in my face as he shoved himself into me. The shirt smelled like greasy food. I squeezed my eyes shut to wipe away the stinking boy on top of me. I thought about Kizzie and her soft hug that
set me apart
from the other
s and
made them hate me
.
I started to
cry.

Greg
lean
ed
on one knee next to me and kept a strong hold on my face. The hazy light flickered on the boy’s blonde hair. His weight crushed more air from my chest.
I panic
ked
and fel
t
like I
was
going to throw up.

“Yeah!’ the big boy barked, and jumped off me.

Greg turned my head to the side so that I couldn’t see the next boy. A tall, thin shadow and the scent of
Brute
cologne hovered over me. The boy rammed hard into me until I felt like my insides were being torn apart
. My tears soak
ed
Greg’s hand, and it beg
an
to slide around.
I choke
d
on the snot running down my throat
. I
start
ed
to gag
.
Greg’s hand slipped away from my mouth, and I
let out a blood
curdling
scream.

He looked toward the door and ye
lled, “Come on! Hurry up, Man!”

A softer voice said, “Nah, I’m leaving.” And then, a hazy light seeped through the open door.

Greg caught his grip and pushed
my head harder into the floor.

“She’s gettin’ freaky. We
’d better get outta here, too.”

Greg put his face next to mine. His voice turned hard and cold. “No need to scream  ’cause nobody’s going to hear you anyway with all that noise out there.”

The tall, skinny boy was out the door before I saw him. Greg slowly moved his hand away from my face. I gasped for air and gagged. T
he hot chocolate c
a
me up all over my coat.
Greg sto
od in the doorway, watching me.

I coughed and cried, “Why me?”

He shrugged. “You were there.” And the door closed behind him.

I braced my elbow on the floor to get up, slipping on the wet coat underneath me.
I felt dizzy,
wobble
d, and
trip
ped
over the jeans tangled around my ankles.
Sha
rp pains
swelled throughout my lower body and streamed down my legs.
A surge of energy rushed through me as I thought,
I
’ve
got
to get out of here
!
What if they come back? What if
they bring
more guys
?

I reach
ed
for the keys to Mama’s Country Squire station wagon in
the
coat pocket
and
roll
ed
the ruined coat into a ball.
Pain radiated through my body
as I l
imped
to the car
.
The
loud speaker
announce
d
Jeff’s name. The second half of the game
wa
s
just starting. That mean
t
that only fifteen minutes ha
d
passed since I went inside with Greg. I thr
e
w the coat into the big garbage can
next to the gate.

I started the car and let it coast toward home. Tears poured down my cheeks like an erupting volcano.
How could I be so stupid to think that he really liked me?
Why do they hate me so much?
Why me?

When I saw
Adam’s
yellow Charger was parked in the driveway, I cringed.
That’s all I need
.

I let myself in the front door quietly. Mama and Adam were watching
The Carol Burnett Show
,
snuggled together on the co
uch like an old married couple.

Adam called over his shoulder. “Is the game over already?”

“Uh, no. I left early to beat the traffic.”

Mama stared at the TV contently and said, “That’s nice, dear. Leave the keys on the credenza.”

I closed the bathroom door and turned on the shower to drown out my
sobs and
the
pain
com
ing from every part of my body. I slowly peel
ed
off my clothes. Underneath, my body
wa
s an awful mess. I st
ood
under the hot water and wash
ed
the
filth
of the night down the drain.
I looked in the mirror at my red eyes and splotched face. S
heepishly
, I turned around to check out the rest of my body. Other than a red streak down my spine,
there wasn’t a scratch on me anywhere but inside where no one could see.

Tucked safely underneath the pink ruffled bedcovers, I cried freely. If I had scars, had been left for dead, or at least, wound up in the hospital, I’d be an innocent victim. My family would rush to my side and brush away the pain with love and sympathy. But, instead, I felt ugli
er and more unwanted than ever.

A car door slammed. I heard Mama tell Beth how beautiful she was. Daddy praised Jeff’s accomplishments during the game. After the laughter and the television died, heavy feet pounded down the hall toward the bedrooms.

Beth turned on the overhead light in our bedroom. “Annette, are you asleep already?”

“No. I’m not asleep.”

Beth’s cheeks we
re chapped from standing in the night wind. My sister look
ed
radiant as she step
ped
out of
her homecoming
dress. “Did you see me? Did I look okay? Oh, I was so scared
!
I thought I’d fall
right
off th
at
stage!”

I hug
ged
my pillow tightly. “Yeah, you were real pretty tonight.”

Beth stood over me, half-dressed. “What’s wrong? Are you sick or somethin’?”

I braced myself with my elbow, the same way I did in the building behind the bleachers two hours earlier. I cherished my older sister who knew me so well. Even though we weren’t friends at school, she was always there, offering a simple joke or a sweet smile. Sometimes I felt a special bond with her when we kept secrets from our brothers. I felt an overwhelming need to tell someone what had happened to me. A
nother wave of heaving sobs
came over me
.
Beth
reache
d
over and turn
ed
on the radio on the nightstand
so that the others wouldn’t hear us
.

I fel
t
better
when Beth wrap
ped
her arms around me.
“What’s wrong? Did Adam say something mean to you?”

I listened to my words, muffled by the covers. “I was attacked.”

Beth jumped back. “Attacked? By a dog? Where?”

I shook my head. Beth was so innocent. She would never go into a dark, empty building with a boy. I knew that she wouldn’t understand after all. I didn’t know what to say next.

I stuttered. “I-I’ll tell you later. Maybe we should just get some sleep.”

Beth scrunched her face like she could feel my pain. There was no way that she could.

“Well, okay then, if you’re sure. ’Night.”

I rolled over toward the wall. Beth turned off the radio and the light. In the quiet darkness, I thought of ways to get back at them.
I could tell Daddy what they did to me. He was the principal and could make big trouble for them. Maybe he’ll kick them out of school.
Then there was Jeff. Adam would never stand up for me, but Jeff was a good brother.
He could beat them up, and then I
w
ould run over them with Mama’s big car.
Or
,
I could beat every one of them
to a pulp
with a ball bat and set them on fire.
Even in my make
-
believe world, I kn
e
w that none of these things w
ould
happen.
Sleep final
ly came with dreams of revenge.

Breakfast

The morning sun filtering through the sheer curtains woke me. I’d overslept, which meant that I was late for Saturday morning breakfast. My body felt stiff and sore as I stood. A burning sensation seared between my legs.
I grab
bed
a pair of gym pants from the end of the bed and pull
ed
a sweatshirt over my head. I check
ed
the mirror but d
idn
’t
take time to
worry with my hair. My
stomach
resist
ed
the notion of food
, but I ha
d
to make it to the dining room
before Mama came after me
. When I pull
ed
my chair from the table, they
we
re talking about Jeff’s final play that won the game.