Leaving Serenity (4 page)

Daddy sat us down the night before Kizzie’s first day at our high school. When I looked at Daddy, I could see where I got my big, lumpy nose and tall, skinny frame. Daddy flexed his hands when he became agitated. That night, Daddy flexed his f
ingers in and out as he talked.

“Troopers, we have a situation at school. You kids are my best troopers, and I expect you to do the right thing in this highly unusual situation. A colored family has moved to Serenity. Now, they can’t help that they’re here, and it’s our job to make them feel as comfortable as possible. Just do your best to make them feel welcome.”

Adam sat at Daddy’s feet,
reached up and placed his hand over
the
busy fingers.
Daddy’s face relaxed into a slight smile
when Adam said,
“Sure thing, Dad
dy
.”

***

The next day, Kizzie Butler walked into my ninth grade homeroom. Whispers
rose from
the
back row
of desks, chairs scraped the floor, and papers rustled. I sat perfectly still, in awe of the exotic girl standing next to my teacher, Miss Peterson. The first thing I noticed about Kizzie was her hair. That girl had the coolest, thickest, brown Afro that hovered over her head
in
a
perfect
bubble. Her clothes were nice, too. She wore a black leather mini skirt, matching black boots, fish-net hose, and a yellow and brown psychedelic print top that flowed over her hips when she walked. Kizzie looked like she walked right out of my favorite TV show,
Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In
.

Miss Peterson’s face was all teeth when she welcomed Kizzie to the class. “Well, hello. My name is Miss Peterson.
”

Miss Peterson threw a mechanical hand toward the class and talked like a robot
.

“This is your class. Welcome.”

Kizzie didn’t seem to be nervous at all. She nodded and asked, “Where do you want me to sit?”

Miss Peterson’s hand flew to her mouth. She looked up and down the rows of desks. “Um, you can sit in the corner, with Annette. Annette is Principal Bevels’ daughter. I’m sure that you two will get along just fine.”

Miss Peterson didn’t know how right she was. Kizzie smiled at me with closed lips as she twisted her butt into the desk next to mine. The sparkle in her golden eyes told me right then that I had a friend. Kizzie and I were inseparable
from that day on.

Kizzie came all the way from Chicago, Illinois. She introduced me to life beyond the town limits of Serenity. Part of that life included the big, fat sandwiches made with pastrami, ham, peppers, and provolone cheese that we shared at our little table
in the corner of the lunchroom.

The other students kept their distance from us. Their cold stares at the hallway lockers and in the lunchroom sent chills creeping down my spine. One day, when I felt those eyes bearing down particularly hard on us, I asked, “Doesn’t it make you feel bad that people stare at you all the time?”

Kizzie washed down her sandwich with orangeade from her thermos. “Nope, I just let it slide.”

“Let it slide?”

Kizzie sent her hand gliding across the air. “Yep, just let it slide, Clyde!”

I mimicked her gesture and repeated, “Just let it slide, Clyde!”

Kizzie and I laughed until
tears welled
in our eyes. The probing eyes turned away.

Until I met Kizzie, the only funny and cool people I knew lived inside the television set in our living room. I imagined that Kizzie stepped out of that box just to be my friend. I clung to her like glue. She wore all the latest fashions and had tons of costume jewelry that she shared with me. She didn’t seem to mind walking around with me in my plain, homemade skirts and plastic barrettes in my hair. I fed on Kizzie’s cool manner and her inner strength. Being with her made me feel happier and stronger.

Mama sat across from me at the breakfast table, examining my spring report card. “Annette, your grades have improved remarkably. Your father and I are very pleased. We think that you deserve a reward. What would you like?”

The heat of anticipation rose in my face as I asked, “Can I invite Kizzie to a sleepover?”

Mama quickly stuffed the signed report card back in the envelope. “No. By no means, no! You can be friends with her at school while she’s here, but she can’t come home with you.”

She jumped up and started wiping the kitchen counter. I followed her around the kitchen like a puppy dog. “Why not? Beth has sleepovers all the
time, and
I’ve never had anybody over. And what do you mean, while she’s here? Where’s she going?”

Mama turned, put her hands on my shoulders, and
sat me down in a kitchen chair.

“Kizzie’s family came here as part of an experiment. The Board of Education wanted to see how the community would react to desegregation. Next year, the State will close the colored school in Prince and bus all of those children to Serenity School. Kizzie and her family will be going back to Chicago at the end of the school year. That’s why your father and I have gone along with your relationship with the girl. It’s just temporary.
But
she can’t come here, and that’s final. Let me know if you can think of something else you want for your reward.”

On Monday morning, I waited for Kizzie outside the school. She bent down and gave her brothers a hug as they climbed out of her mother’s car. My friend’s family life was so different from mine. I never touched my brothers unless they hit me first.

I scowled at Kizzie. She looked me over and said, “Hey, Girl, what’s eatin’ you?”

I pounced down the steps. “Why didn’t you tell me you were leaving?”

Kizzie looked away and started to walk past me. I grabbed her arm, wanting
desperately to hold on to her.

“Why?” I demanded through the tears welling up behind my cat-eye glasses.

Kizzie shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess I thought you knew since your daddy is the principal. Maybe I thought that was why you were so nice to me.”

The skin tightened around the sore zits on my face. “No-o. You’re the only friend I’ve ever had!”

Kizzie put her books down and threw her arms around me. Her body felt soft against my lanky frame. She smelled like baby powder. When my sobs dried up, Kizzie pulled away and held me by the shoulders. “Now, you gonna be okay?”

I dried my eyes with my fingers and nodded. A group of boys moved away from behind the large boxwood shrubbery at the corner of the building
.

Kizzie picked up her books from the steps. We walked to class while she explained why she came to Serenity. “My brothers and I get paid to come to school here. Dad volunteered for the desegregation experiment to help pay for my college tuition. Your, I mean, Serenity’s postmaster had a heart attack. Dad’s filling in for
him while he’s on sick leave.”

She shrugged. “See, no big deal. Next month, we’ll go back home like usual.”

I mulled Kizzie’s words,
No big dea
l,
over
in my head. After that day, Kizzie’s mother picked her up at
lunchtime, and
we spent less time together. We slowly drifted apart until the time came for her to go away. When Kizzie left at the end of the school year, it was no big deal.

Summer
Daydreaming

That summer, I was an only child for the first time in my life. Beth worked as a counselor at church camp. Jeff spent the summer at football
camp, and
Adam started college in Chapel Hill. Mama busied herself with Vacation Bible School and Garden Club fund-raisers. Daddy swam four laps in the pool every morning and spent his afternoons playing golf. The silent meals we shared that summer revealed how little my parents and I talked to one another.

I helped Mama around the house and lounged by the swimming pool. While listening to my favorite 45 rpm record,
“
California
Dreamin
’,” by The Mamas & The Papas, I did some of my own dreaming. I thought about hitchhiking to California and becoming an extra on
Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In
. I pondered over catching the Greyhound bus to New York and becoming a star like Neely, my favorite character in
Valley Of The Dolls
. I danced to Tom Jones’
s
“Delilah”
in front of the mirror behind my bedroom door and dreamed of becoming a dancer in Las Vegas. My fantasies made the summer fly by quickly. Before I knew it, Beth and Jeff were dragging their stuff in the front door, and it was time to enter the tenth grade.

Homecoming Game 1970

I sat on the wooden bleachers in my family’s regular spot. A foggy haze crept across the floodlights around the football stadium on that pitch dark night. Beth floated across the playing field on Daddy’s arm. He lifted her hand as she climbed onto the stage and accepted a dozen red roses wrapped in green tissue paper. Beth’s beautiful white evening gown glistened under the lights. My sister was pretty and popular enough to be voted Serenity High’s homecoming queen. I was neither popular nor pretty like Beth. Since the desegregation program started, there had been a lot of fights at school. Hate and prejudice ruled the hallways. Being friends with Kizzie ended any social life I may have had at school. Even though Daddy was the principal, the
kids still held it against me.

I watched the halftime activities absentmindedly. Mama had a bad case of the flu and stayed home that night. I had just turned sixteen. Mama didn’t usually let me drive at night, but she made an exception for the homecoming game. She rarely missed a school event, especially one this important. I wished that Mama was sitting next to me now. I fel
t alone in the crowded stadium.

The band cranked up. I bundled my navy
pea
coat against the wind and headed to the concession stand for a hot chocolate. I felt invisible in the passing crowd.
I shimm
ied
my skinny body between the bleachers and jump
ed
to the
ground to beat the stagnant line.

“Yo, Annette.”

             
Jeff’s friend, Greg Sneed, leaned on a rail under the bleachers, smoking a cigarette. He was cute and popular with the girls. He had never noticed me before. I didn’t know what to say. He crushed the cigarette on the ground and blew the s
moke out the side of his mouth.

“You by yourself tonight?”

             
My voice quivered in the cold wind. “Uh, yeah, I was just going for a hot chocolate.”

             
Greg look
ed
over
his shoulder
t
oward
the concession stand.

“Oh
, you wait here. I’ll get it.”

             
He backed away, holding his palms in the air. “Just, just wait here. Do ya want anything else while I’m there?”

             
My heart leapt to my throat as I
shook my head
. I was so excited that I couldn’t stand still. I thought about Greg’s cool brown eyes and dark, shaggy hair, how cute he was, and how all the girls liked him. I wondered if he’d always liked
me
, but I just didn’t know it. I thought that maybe he wanted to ask me out on a date. I remembered Greg’s mother from the grocery, her puffy cheeks jiggling at me. She liked me. I wonder if she told her son to ask me out. I’d never been on a date. Dating a popular boy like Greg would make me popular, too. I envisioned walking in the hallway with him on my arm and having dinner with his parents. By the time Greg returned with the drink, my excitement had escalated to ecstasy.

             
“Here you go,” he said, handing me the steaming cup. “Whoa, it sure is cold out here. Let’s get out of this wind.”

             
“Where?”

             
“Uh, maybe over there.” Greg pointed to the equipment shed behind the bleachers. I felt warmer already when he gently touched my back and led me toward the small wooden building.

             
Greg took a quick look around before we stepped inside
.
The equipment shed was considered off limits, which made being there more exciting. The f
loodlights
provided a dim
yellow
haze
through the side window. I
felt adventurous
like the
lovely Nikky
hiding
in a dark cave
with Mark
in
The Moonspinners
.

             
Greg look
ed
at the floor.
“It’s kinda dirty. Do you want to sit on your coat?”

             
“Sure.”

             
Greg gallantly removed my coat and made a place for me to sit. I already felt like his girlfriend. “There you go. How’s that?”