Leaving Normal (9 page)

Not moving for long moments, Tony stared at the phone. Then he hit '67 so Kim's ID wouldn't appear on the incoming call and dialed the number and waited.

"Hello?" a man's voice answered.

"Who's this?" Tony demanded, his voice a low curl that rumbled in his chest. No answer. He went on. "Listen, I know you're involved with my wife. Who are you?"

Silence, then finally a response. "I think you'd better talk to Kim."

Then the line disconnected.

The light traffic on Fairview Avenue became a blur as Tony clenched his jaw, his hands gripping the steering wheel.

He barely remembered getting to Rocky's, pulling into the driveway and ringing the doorbell. The sound of barking dogs echoed through the large house.

Rocky stood in the opening wearing a pair of sweats and a T-shirt. His resemblance to Nicholas Cage was a little uncanny as he held on to a glass of orange juice.

"Dude, I hate to tell you this, but the rotties made cat chow out of your kitten." He chuckled, then seeing Tony's troubled expression he said, "Not really. I'm just bullshitting you. Don't look so worried."

Tony let himself inside, speaking while walking, uttering aloud what had been at the back of his mind, but too potent for him to say it until this moment. "Kim's having an affair."

Rocky followed him into the kitchen. "You're sure?"

Upon seeing Tony, the two big black-and-brown dogs in the backyard wiggled their butts, wet noses smearing up the glass on the slider.

"I told you I suspected it. The guy just called her on her cell phone. I drove her car over here and she'd left her cell phone under the seat.
Fuck
."

Tony ran his hand through his hair, thought he'd prepared himself for this, but he hadn't. Not really. How could any man be prepared for something like this?

Because his suspicions were finally confirmed, all at once Tony was relieved, yet upset at the same time. The impact hadn't fully hit him. Not yet. He did feel betrayal. Betrayal was frickin' huge and it left a nauseating taste in his mouth.

In all the years he'd been with the fire department, all the overnights he'd had, he had never once strayed. He'd had the opportunity. He knew plenty of women who were willing and made their intentions obvious, but being unfaithful to his wife was crossing the line.

"Jesus," Rocky muttered. "Want a beer?"

"No. I need to keep a clear head."

He was left with a bunch of unanswered questions, and a shock wave of overwhelming uncertainty.

"Do you know who the guy is?" Rocky asked.

"Not a clue."

A host of questions came at Tony.

Why had she cheated on him? Who was the guy? How long had it been going on? Had they ever had sex in his home, his bed?

One moment his life had been complete, and now it felt discounted. Less than what it was. A clearance. A markdown.

"What are you going to do?" Rocky set his glass down and leaned next to the countertop.

"Don't know." Tony exhaled slowly, trying to focus. "Talk to her."

There were a million things going on in his head, but only one thing surfaced with clarity:

He still had to get the kitten for Parker. No matter what happened with him and Kim, he loved that little girl.

"Mom, these are fifty-percent off." Cassie searched through spools of clearance ribbon at the craft store.

"Pick out all the red velvet ones." Natalie usually bought notions from her suppliers, but the after-holiday sales were really great. At a fifty-percent discount, it meant she could save a lot of money.

Rummaging through the craft ribbons, Natalie wasn't really focused on the palate of colors. This was one of the rare opportunities she'd had this holiday to be alone with her daughter.

Every day had been spent with Austin in tow, her daughter's arm slung around him or Austin's hand grabbing for Cassie's. Resentment had surfaced, a niggling little claw that pulled at the hairs on the back of her neck. Natalie had so looked forward to spending some time alone with her daughter, yet they had barely had a moment together.

She and Cassie had gone shopping together while, thankfully, Austin stayed at Greg's to watch football. Natalie had made a discreet phone call this morning to her ex-husband, planting the idea that he invite Austin over for some "guy-time" since Austin had ended up at Natalie's house for four days. They'd dropped Austin off on the way to the shopping complex.

"So how are things going at school?" Natalie asked, her tone upbeat. She wanted to enjoy every second of this moment. "Tell me how your life is going."

"It's going great, Mom."

"Are you enjoying your classes?"

"Sure." Cassie had thrown her hair into a ponytail, her eye makeup a little darker than she normally wore it. She'd applied a frosted lip gloss that smelled like angel food cake.

"Which one is your favorite?"

"Art design. Austin's in that class with me."

Natalie kept a lightness to her tone. "What does he want to be?"

"He's not sure yet. He's still trying to decide." Cassie had seemed a bit disinterested with their conversation, but then her face lit up. "Did I tell you he's in a band?"

"I believe you mentioned that over Christmas dinner."

"Grandpa thought it was cool that Austin plays the drums."

Fred Miller did have a way with making lemonade out of lemons.

"What about his family?"

"I've never met them. I talked to his mom once on the phone when she called and Austin was in the shower."

The spool of plaid ribbon in Natalie's hand dropped to the floor. She didn't readily move to pick it up. "What were you doing in his room when he was in the shower?"

Cassie's laugh wasn't reassuring. "Mom, I was in his room while he was in the
dorm
shower. Chill out. Jeez."

Natalie's heart slowed, resuming a normal rhythm. "Well.. -oh." A thought flashed through her mind. She wondered if she should even bring it up, then opted to just go ahead and say it. "Remember how you and I had all those talks about sex, Cassie?"

"How could I forget? You bought me a
Play girl
when I was in high school and you told me you'd rather me see what a penis looks like in the magazine versus me doing anything stupid out of curiosity."

Natalie did recall doing that. At the time, it seemed a very sensible and liberal thing to do. But to hear Cassie retell it now…it sounded a bit over the top.

"My intentions were good," Natalie said. "I was trying to expose you to human sexuality without you having to see anything, um…exposed to you."

"And your point is?"

"My point is—" Natalie had sort of wished she'd forgotten the point, but she hadn't "—I'd like to think you're being cautious and adult in your decision making now that you don't live with me. I hope that you learned something about abstinence and, at the very least, about safe sex…if you and Austin are…well, you know what I mean—I'm just saying, you need to be careful." quit freaking out."

Relief rushed through Natalie like a breath of fresh air. The feeling of falling over a cliff while trying to reach out and grab something thankfully left with her daughter's reassurance.

"Good for you, honey. I'm proud of you. I know it's hard to hold out, but…good for you." She reached out and gave Cassie a hug. Cassie rolled her eyes, but gave her mom a hug in return.

The very fact that they were having this conversation in a craft store seemed disconcerting, but there had been no other alternative given that they hadn't had time in the past several days to talk privately.

Before she could stop herself, Natalie blurted, "Cassie, I can't see you with a boy like him. You're so opposite."

"I know." Cassie's smile was beautiful. "That's what I like about him. It's the fact that we are so different. We bring out the best in one another, Mom."

An unforeseen feeling of emptiness settled in Natalie's stomach. She remembered what it was like to have that feeling in her life, first with Greg, and then even with Michael Williams. The fact that Cassie was on her own and experiencing a connection with a boy made Natalie both happy…and sad.

She missed her little girl, but the woman she'd turned into seemed to have a level head on her shoulders.

"If he's what makes you happy, then I'm glad you met someone at school who you can share your time with." But she added with motherly caution, "Just make sure this romance doesn't interfere with your grades."

"It won't." Cassie's automatic assurance didn't do a whole lot to alleviate Natalie's concern. "I'm getting hungry for dinner. Are we almost done?"

Tonight Natalie was facing Greg over a Chinese dinner. It was the "transfer" night from one house to the other, and Cassie wanted the two of them to meet at the restaurant. Natalie knew that Cassie would always try to get her and Greg back together, however misguided" her heart. It wasn't as if Cassie disagreed with the divorce—Natalie had talked to her about it. Cassie just wanted her parents to live in the same house again, and she would probably have those feelings for a lifetime.

"I'm almost done," Natalie said.

Moving through the craft store, a basket looped over her arm, Natalie buttoned her coat. There had to be something wrong with the heating system because it was just as chilly inside the store as it was outside.

The cold atmosphere didn't help gather the warm front she needed to put on tonight. She'd put this dinner out of her mind, but now she'd have to go through the motions. It wasn't as if she carried any animosity toward Greg. It was just that whenever she was in his company, she was reminded about why she'd divorced him. He always did this stupid thing with the check: he was so anal about a tip he always took out a pocket calculator to make sure he tipped exactly fifteen percent

As she headed for the cash register, Natalie saw three Boise firemen coming toward her from the back of the store. They were in their turnouts and helmets, all carrying axes.

Slightly alarmed, Natalie wondered if there was a fire in the store.

Cassie paused, her voice raising an octave. "Mom, there's a fire."

"I don't smell anything burning, and no announcements have been made."

"Then how come the fire department is here?"

"I don't know."

She recognized Tony Cruz almost immediately. He stood out among the others, his shoulders broad and his face so good-looking that every female shopper within shouting distance stared with obvious appreciation. He made eye contact, giving her an easy smile and a lift of his chin to acknowledge that he knew her.

Unexpectedly, his friendly gesture went straight to her beating heart and gave it a jolt. Why did she have a physical reaction to him whenever she saw him? She knew he was off-limits.

"Mom, do you know that guy?" Cassie asked. "He's hot."

"Oh…he's…" Natalie felt a sudden loss for words, thinking that, yes, Tony Cruz was hot. Blankly, she formed words to counter what she was really thinking. "He lives in the house across the street."

Tony approached them.

"Is there a fire?" she asked him, keeping her tone even.

His voice was calming, reassuring. "The heater tripped an alarm. It turned off the switch. The heating and air-conditioning company's coming out to fix it."

No wonder it was so cold in the store.

The other two firemen continued to walk ahead, but Tony held back.

"Hi," he said to Cassie, and Natalie remembered she wasn't alone.

"This is my daughter, Cassie. Cassie, this is Tony Cruz."

"Hi," Cassie replied. "You guys rock."

Tony grinned. "Thanks."

"A girl in my college dorm set off the sprinkler system when she had a fire in her room."

Natalie gazed at Cassie. "You didn't tell me that."

"Yeah, I did." To Tony, she went on. "She was burning candle wax on a hot plate, forgot about it, and the heat blew up a can of air freshener on the counter. A shelving unit caught fire."

"I would have remembered this," Natalie said.

Cassie shrugged. "Then maybe I told Austin's mom when I was on the phone with her."

Natalie bit back a sharp pang, not taking any time to examine it.

"It was nice to meet you, Tony," Cassie remarked; then to Natalie, "I'm going to see if they have confetti and those blowers for New Year's. Me and Austin are going to have a party."

Cassie excused herself, leaving Natalie with her thoughts spinning. A New Year's party? Would that be a private party? Or a big beer party? Or…

"Pretty girl." Tony's comment intruded on Natalie's musings.

"Thank you." She stole a look at his face without being obvious. >

While he gave the appearance of being relaxed and in control, she sensed an undercurrent of something different charging through him. A tension that was unwelcome, and an anxiousness that told her something had changed inside him. She saw thin lines at the corners of his eyes that hadn't been there before. An old scar at his right temple, just at the tip of his eyebrow, was now clearly defined.

He looked tired.

Happening to glance out her front window, she'd seen him twice this week—coming and going in his Dodge Ram. She hadn't spoken to him since that day he'd shoveled snow for her. He'd been a godsend.

"How was your Christmas?" she asked politely.

"Fine." He nodded, an almost perfunctory gesture, as if he'd done it a thousand times on various calls, then he shifted his stance in a way that made him stand taller. Natalie took in the scope of his presence, almost a little intimidated by his formidable size.

He wore large black boots with zippers running up the tops. His feet were big. His body was big in the reflective-striped turnout. Everything on him looked immense—from his helmet to the oxygen tank strapped on his back—but the whole image of him in uniform was presented in a way that wasn't threatening. To the contrary, his ready-for-action appearance was quite reassuring.

If she hadn't seen the restless mix of uncertainty and dull pain in his eyes, she would have sworn he had no worries in his life. But she had seen that spark of emotion, however fleeting, and it compelled her to ask about his welfare.