Learn to Fly (46 page)

“
I’m
not good with women.” Duke muttered, embarrassed at his
actions. He knew he had just blown it.

“
No.”
Natalie snickered. “The answer to your question is no, there is
no one like that in my life.” She looked down at her sleeping
child. “I don’t have time for any of that. Most guys
aren’t looking for a package deal anyhow.”

Duke considered her
words, not totally sure what she meant. Guys didn’t like her
because she came with a kid? That was shallow. And stupid.

“
Why
are you in Wyoming?” He decide to ask instead.

“
We
needed to get away and Tyler had never seen snow before. My dad owns
a cabin in the mountains. I haven’t been up here since I was a
little girl, I don’t even know if the cabin is livable.”
She confessed at the end.

“
Well,
if you were looking for snow, you came to the right place.”
Duke said, pulling into the parking lot of the best mechanic in town.
“Who’s your dad?” He asked thoughtfully, he knew
pretty much everyone in the area.

“
Colonel
Henry Clay.”

Duke whistled under
his breath. “I know that cabin. That’s a sweet piece of
property. Has he had anyone taking care of it?”

“
I’m
not sure,” Natalie responded. “Dad passed away last year
and left the cabin to me. I thought now would be a good time to check
it out.” She rolled her eyes at herself. “Smart, in the
middle of winter.”

Duke had parked the
Bronco and now he leaned back in his seat and rubbed his short beard
thoughtfully.

“
Well,
it’s still early enough in the day. Let me go in and get Earl
started on your car and then I’ll drive you up there and take a
look over it myself.” He saw her hesitate and quickly added.
“If you don’t mind, that is. I’m a pretty good
handy-man.”

He saw her mind
working swiftly. She was as smart as she was beautiful. If she
thought he was still a threat she would turn him down, but Duke
didn't see it going that way. Besides, if he tried anything, she
could just shoot him.

“
Thanks,
Shawn.” She smiled, the warmth of it making Duke blush under
his beard again, “I’d really appreciate that.”

Duke grinned and
jumped out of the truck. He jogged into Earl’s, unable to hide
his delight. No one had called him by his first name in a long time.
He liked the way it sounded. It made his heart beat just a tad bit
differently.

***

The rest of the
European tour was a blur for Lenny, it went entirely too fast. In
every city, Luke had something he wanted to share with her. He was
excited and energetic, showing her all the little shops and
non-touristy attractions that were his favorite. She giggled at his
antics and thrill for the adventure.

They hardly spent
any time with the other band members anymore, they were nearly always
alone. Lenny couldn’t tell if it bothered the guys, they
hadn’t said anything. She only half cared. The days were
flying by and she wasn’t going to miss a single second with
Luke.

Her attitude became
one of passionate desperation. She absorbed every word, every smile,
and every kiss. She tried to memorize the lines in his hands and how
the calluses on his fingertips felt against her cheek when he would
touch her face.

And before Lenny
could be satisfied, the tour was done. They were on a plane bound
Stateside, decompressing and relaxing. They talked of the successful
shows, the fantastic reviews, the sold out performances. Carl was
more at ease than Lenny had ever seen him. He pulled his ball cap
down low over his eyes and fell fast asleep.

Ever diligent, Luke
was already discussing the next album. Where should they record? Who
should they go with for a producer? What kind of vibe should they try
to capture? It was all very interesting and Lenny tried to keep up
with as much of the lingo as she could. She had a pressing in her
heart that she was trying to ignore. Luke still hadn’t talked
about ‘them’ and she was afraid it was because he didn’t
know how.

She
could broach the subject. After all, it was on
her
mind. What if he changed? What if he shut down and pulled away and
got cold? Lenny didn’t think she could bear it if Luke started
to treat her differently. She felt foolish for feeling that way.
She’d never been in love before, she had no idea what to do
with it. Especially in circumstances like this, where her reality
and her ideal were complete opposites.

She
thought about telling Luke that she loved him. He hadn’t said
it since his outburst at Ashton. That was okay because Lenny didn’t
really want to have to say “I love you,
too
.”
She just wanted to say it. Without requirement or expectation. So
he would know there were no stipulations. She simply loved him. But
the timing always seemed off, and she didn’t want it to come
out forced or trite.

Of
course, the next fear was that he didn’t feel the same. Based
on the things he said, how he acted and treated her, Lenny knew in
her heart he loved her. She’d known since the first moment
they kissed.
But
rock stars fall in love all the time,
she
reminded herself.
That’s
how they make such great music.

***

Sway saw the small
interaction between Lenny and Luke. It was subtle but perfect. The
guys were thrilled with Lenny’s presence in their lives. They
didn’t care that Luke had taken to spending every waking moment
with her. She was good to him and he deserved that.

When Luke had told
Sway he was planning on marrying the girl, Sway had been stunned at
first. But as he considered their relationship, it fit. Sway had
never been in love. Sure, he’d made a lot of what looked like
love. But he’d never felt for one person the way Luke
obviously felt for Lenny. And they hadn’t even slept together.
It blew Sway’s mind. And yet, as he watched them together, it
made perfect sense.

***

Harrison and Blake
were arguing not so quietly about what they think should’ve
happened on their favorite daytime soap opera. It kind of distracted
Lenny from her fear of flying closer to good-bye. She quietly
laughed at their antics and felt a lump rise in her throat. She
would miss them. All of them. Not just Luke. She would miss Blake
and Harrison's petty arguments and ridiculous capers. She would miss
Sway asking her to help him with his flyaways and split ends. She
would miss Mike’s dry humor and his ability to anticipate the
next step. She would miss Carl’s crankiness and ranch foreman
mentality.

She leaned her head
against the back of the seat. She was going to have serious
withdrawal after she left these guys. She wondered who would take
her place for the next tour. Would they treat them as good she
would? Would they follow Carl’s guidelines and put the band
first? Would they fall in love with the lead singer?

Lenny couldn’t
handle anymore thoughts. She squeezed Luke’s hand
instinctively and closed her eyes. Maybe she would feel better about
her plan after she had gotten some sleep.

***

Luke felt the gentle
pressure on his hand and frowned slightly at Lenny’s resting
posture. Her eyes were closed but her face wasn’t relaxed.
She appeared to be thinking hard, trying to will sleep to happen. He
wondered what was bothering her. Well, it had been a long trip, Luke
decided. She was probably just tired.

***

The plane landed in
New York and they had a two hour layover before their next flight to
Boston. The guys napped in the waiting area, jet lag was a bitch.
Lenny was kind of surprised that there was a ticket for her to Boston
as well and not somewhere further west. She assumed it was Carl and
decided that Boston would be as good as any place to say goodbye.

The flight was fast,
only an hour, from LaGuardia to Boston. Lenny barely had time to
collect her thoughts. As they were disembarking, she knew what she
had to do. She tapped into that special feature in her brain that
she reserved for competitions. She shut everything out and took a
deep breath. The wall came up, separating her from her surroundings.
She had a mission, and it was time to execute.

They were at baggage
claim and Lenny waited for the guys to gather in a huddle around her.
No one noticed that her bags hadn’t arrived. They naturally
gravitated toward her and she waited till she had their attention.

“
I’m
going home.” She said plainly, her tone gentle. She didn’t
want to hurt them but someone needed to rip the Band-Aid off. She’d
already gotten a connecting flight that would have several stops
before she reached home. All she had to do was catch her next
flight.

“
What
do you mean? I thought you were going to Luke’s house.”
Harrison’s eyes were already starting to water. Lenny loved
his tender heart, he didn’t like change.

“
I
was not aware of that plan.” Lenny looked to Luke but his eyes
had lost focus. The reality had hit him.

“
This
is where you guys live, I don’t. My job is ended.” She
got a confirmation nod from Carl and continued. “But I have had
the
best
time of my life with all of you.” She looked at Luke again.
He was staring at her with the saddest eyes she’d ever seen.

“
I
have a whole other life that needs tending to out west.” She
paused, her mental barrier starting to strain against the heavy
emotion that was threatening to overpower her. “I will miss
all
of
you, more than you know.”

The guys hugged her
one by one, their heads low. They backed off a little to give Luke
and Lenny some space.

Lenny’s
resolve was weakening as she looked into Luke’s eyes that were
starting to turn red from held back tears.

“
I
will miss you the most.” She offered a small smile. She
grabbed both of his hands in hers and whispered, “I have never,
in my life, felt for anyone what I feel for you.”

“
Then
why are you going?” Luke’s voice was hoarse with
emotion.

“
Because
it’s time,” Lenny whispered. “I can’t hang
around like a fan girl the rest of my life. I have to grow up one of
these days.” She tried to get him to smile but he wouldn’t.

Luke suddenly took
her in his arms and held her tight. He whispered in her ear, “I
don’t want you to go.”

This was Lenny’s
moment. She gave him a long embrace and then pulled back, kissed him
tenderly on his lips and looked him in the eye. She wanted to make
sure he knew she was for real.

“
I
love you, Luke Casey. I will
always
love you.” She stepped back and took a shuddering breath.
“Now, go.” She smiled as sincerely as her heart would let
her. “Be amazing.” She allowed herself to behold his
masculine perfection one last time, trying to memorize every single
striking detail, and then she turned around.

He didn't call out
to her or chase her. He was letting her go. A tear escaped and
splashed onto her cheek. Her legs carried her onward and her heart
quaked in her chest. She would feel better in a few days. This was
how it had to be. He couldn’t face reality, so she had to do
it for the both of them. The longer they tried to make it work, the
harder it would be to end it. They would each resent each other
making it an ugly end. And Lenny didn’t want that. She wanted
to remember her time with Luke as the greatest adventure of her life.
Because it truly was.

Lenny
rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and looked around. She had to
reorient herself. Where was she?
Oh
yes,
she thought,
layover
hell.
She had flown from Boston to Atlanta and what was supposed to be a
ninety minute layover turned into three hours. Then she flew from
Atlanta to Salt Lake City where a blizzard greeted her and the other
passengers. She had been waiting in the terminal for six hours until
they were cleared for flight to Jackson Hole.