Layers Off (4 page)

“Who are you two, exactly?” I asked.

“We’re part of your father’s security team. We’ll keep you safe.”

Of course they were! Because I couldn’t just happen to meet hot guys with the skills of secret agents, could I? “We should go back to get my parents.”

Tristan and Julian exchanged a look.

“They may be alive,” I argued against their unspoken words.

I didn’t cry, not yet. The adrenaline cruising through my veins wouldn’t allow me to let go for a while. On my sore knees, I followed Tristan toward the end of the car. More shots sounded behind us, but they were less frequent.

“We’ll go back as soon as we get you out. You wouldn’t want us to fail on our first assignment, would you?” Julian asked.

“
I’m
your first assignment?” I scolded, “My father never hires anyone inexperienced.”

“Hey, we got you out, didn’t we?” Tristan frowned back at me.

“Not yet.”

I heard a low chuckle from behind me as Julian pushed my ass saying, “Faster, K.”

I liked the way he called me
K
, like we’d been acquainted for more than fifteen minutes.

We reached the far end, where Tristan twisted the screws of another hatch. He withdrew something from his pocket, and after a couple of snaps the rooftop opened. Cool wind flattened my hair. The two handfuls of mousse I’d used earlier to keep my spikes up failed. My cheeks felt like they’d been subjected to a cold blow-dryer, and if I opened my mouth I’d look like a clown. Never mind the bugs that could get stuck in my teeth! The air blew through the tunnel like a summoned tornado.

Tristan led us to the train’s edge where he helped me down a ladder. Julian followed, looking back every minute.

“We need to get out of the tunnel,” Julian said, taking my hand. Tristan grabbed my other one at the same time.

“What about my parents?”

The brothers were both pulling me away.

“You’re our objective. I promise you the rest of the security team will do everything they can to get them out.”

Once out of the darkness, we jumped over a steep bank into yellowing bushes. My sight was lost for a moment as it adjusted to the brightness. I lost my footing and tumbled all the way down, pulling both brothers with me. Rocks buried themselves in my flesh, brush thorns scratched my arms and legs, and I didn’t even want to think about my hair that probably looked like a bird’s nest. Elbowed in the ribcage, I wanted to hurl. On the last roll my heel connected with someone’s jaw, and then we finally ended our descent in a ditch.

At first I thought the landing wasn’t as hard as I’d expected, until I saw that I was actually on top of Julian. He squeezed a smile through his pain but held onto my hips. His eyes beamed upward and that lazy smile that drove me nuts lifted his lips.

“I’ve got you.”

And for that moment, I forgot where I was or what had happened. The dust settled around us. I brushed my fingers through my hair, and then noticed my hands were covered with blood. I wasn’t even sure where it had come from. I checked my body for a cut and to see whether anything was broken.

“Shit!” Tristan moaned from beside us.

A couple of feet to the side Tristan was lying down, playing with his split upper lip. I wanted to ask him whether he was okay, but Julian interrupted my thoughts.

“Are you all right?” He drew my attention back to his beautiful mouth.

“Yes, you?”

“Yes.”

“I’m fine too.” Tristan sat up and pulled his hand across his mouth. Blood smeared across his cheek.

“You’re hurt.” I slowly got off Julian and crawled on my knees to Tristan’s side.

His upper lip oozed blood, and I was sure he’d need a few stitches. Removing my white scarf, I turned it over to the cleaner side and handed it to him.

“It’s gonna be messed up,” he protested.

“Not as much as your lip will be. Just hold it there to stop the bleeding, at least.”

He hesitated.

“I’ll let you buy me another one. Just take it.” I reached out to guide his hand, holding my scarf toward his mouth, wondering whether Julian had looked this innocent when he was younger as well.

“So, what now?” I asked.

And before either of them could answer, a loud bang echoed through the valley. The ground underneath us shook. Pebbles and larger rocks rolled down the hill we fell. Up above, flames puffed from inside the tunnel as the explosions boomed for the second time.

“Oh, my God! My parents!” I shot off my legs and started running toward the ball of fire, but Julian stopped me and grasped me tightly.

“Let me go!” I screamed until he muffled me with his hand.

“Shh, there’s nothing you can do for them now, K.”

“I’m not sure our security team survived that either,” Julian whispered.

“They had to.” Tristan stood there mesmerized by the puffing smoke among mountainous flames.

I stopped squirming in Julian’s firm grip. Both brothers had their mouths wide open, watching the fire consume the tunnel and everything within it, flames of fear reflected in their eyes. For the first time since I’d met them, they were in pure shock.

My mother’s words warning me to be careful were the last ones I’d heard. And I couldn’t even remember my father’s. I thought it was
I love you
, but his lips had seemed to move after that still. He’d said something else I couldn’t quite remember – and I didn’t know why.

C
HAPTER
4

Present day, New Jersey

Sometime after Tristan left, I began drifting in and out of sleep again, thrashing between the bed sheets, reliving those torturous days in captivity. The entire dream appeared behind a veil of red, as if I was looking through colored lenses. A gun blasted, and blood oozed from someone’s body as I watched them die. A pool of red spread on the floor. And then it all began fading. The pain disappeared and my memories dulled. Yes, this was exactly what I needed: to forget.

Limpness was my sanctuary.

My feet felt frozen as I dragged them through the snow. I wasn’t sure how I’d left Julian’s bedroom; I didn’t remember. All I knew was that I wanted the nightmare gone, and the only way to accomplish that was to numb it. The night was cold for mid November, and fresh snow covered the ground. This would be a long winter; one I didn’t want to last through. Every day was a struggle to live as I fought to erase a month of my life. The pain flew through me in patched-up memories I failed to combine. Each time I closed my eyes, it seemed I was back in the dungeon, struggling to survive. Another memory flash showed behind my lids of someone writhing in a pool of blood. In my mind I began counting the number of days since they fed me hallucinogens.

My attention drew to the ground. I must have forgotten to put on shoes. The socks I’d slept in were wet at first, my body heat melting the snow underneath my feet, but now they were stiff: the same temperature as my skin. Chills crept up my limbs, turning the blood in my veins into slush. The sweaty strands of my hair froze into icicles. When I shot up from the nightmare I’d been drenched with sweat, and then I found myself out here, wanting the looming winter to take me away. My lips trembled, and the only sign of life was the slowing breath I could see in front of my face. Somewhere in the distance a faint voice called out my name, but I could barely hear it over my clattering teeth.
Where was I?

Feeling the last of my strength abandon me, I dropped to my knees. Yes, that definitely felt better.

I’ll just rest for a moment.

I lay down in the snow. It felt so much better when I didn’t have to move. My cheek pressed into the fresh powder, and the cold slowly began to ease. I could no longer feel – and that was the point. I didn’t want to know or remember that kind of pain again. This was perfect. So, so perfect.

I’ll just close my eyes for a moment.
But just when I was ready to go back to sleep, strong arms lifted me off the ground. I tried to fight, pounding against the firm chest with my fists, screaming inside my head to let me go. Yet my arms didn’t move and my mouth remained closed. I fought in my mind until the heat hit me when he carried me inside.

“I’ve got you, Kat. You’re safe,” I remembered him saying. I hadn’t heard him say my real name in such a long time. Or perhaps it was just me wishing that things were as simple as during the first few lust-filled minutes I’d met him. The way he said it reminded me of the day on the train – those were the same words he’d said that deadly afternoon.

The next time I opened my eyes, the light was bright. My body shook as I slowly became aware I was in Julian’s bathroom. Trying to figure out what had happened, I lay there on the tiled floor as Julian removed my clothes. A faint sound of running water resonated in my ears. He seemed in a hurry, which I thought was odd because my body had stopped shaking now. I couldn’t feel much at all, just as I’d wanted.

“If I call the doctor, they’ll take you away,” he said, “but if I can’t warm you up in minutes, you’ll go into hyperthermia.”

And then it all changed. Julian’s naked body pressed against mine from behind, and I melted into him. The heat nearly burned me, but it was a good kind of scorch. I wiggled myself deeper into the hollow he created with his torso and limbs, letting his arms envelop me as we became one. Part of me wanted this to stop; I didn’t want to feel. But the other part – the instinctive one that fought to survive – emerged. I pressed my back against his chest and twined my limbs with his.

The water kept running in the tub, and I wondered why we were still on the floor, wrapped in each other.

“There’s not enough yet,” Julian answered, as if he’d read my thoughts.

After a moment, he lifted me and stepped into the tub. I held onto him as tightly as possible, pretending we’d been fused into one statue. The last strength I had in me flew to my arms, which I tightened around Julian’s neck. I thought I felt the hairs on his arms stand. My hands slid down to his forearms. The growing goose bumps on his skin were rough. Was he cold as well?

He lowered me into the tub. My body recoiled at the first touch of water.

It’s hot!
I screamed inside my mind. Yet Julian’s body shivered.

“It’s cold water, Kendra. Try to relax. We’ll switch the temperature once you warm up.”

Cold?
It sure didn’t feel like it, especially on my feet. In fact, if someone told me they had set them on fire, I’d believe it. They burned so much. But at least the sensation kept my mind occupied and free of the past.

Julian held me from behind, his big feet resting at the side of the tub. He smoothed my hair and kissed the top of my head. His hands rubbed my arms, pressing in until I saw my purplish stained skin turn to pink. Slowly, I began to feel the temperature change. It wasn’t that hot anymore. In fact, the water began cooling more quickly every second, and I felt an awkward chill course through me. Time seemed to speed up and my mind began to focus again. The marble tiles had a pattern that reminded me of a dried up lake. A cold lake; one on the verge of freezing.

“I’ll turn on the shower.”

He opened the drain and twisted the knobs. And I was once again in full shake mode. Why were we in the tub, naked? Why was it so cold in here? Why would Julian put me in iced water?

But the moment the overhead drops began to hit I couldn’t get enough. He helped me stand up. I wanted it hotter and hotter; each stream scorched my skin with an alarming intensity, but Julian seemed all right with the temperature. Was it just me?

Finally I looked up. He stood there in front of me, all naked, holding me by my arms. My breasts easily squished against his hard chest. His skin felt so soft and warm and unscathed – unlike mine. I ran my fingers up his arms watching the water trail over his biceps, right around my tips. When I looked up, the trickles down his face looked like tears. Julian’s worried gaze penetrated through me. What was he thinking?

“I can’t lose you,” he whispered through the water, and then leaned his forehead against mine. “I won’t make the same mistake again.”

I clung to him like a suction cup to a window, feeling every inch of his skin. His strong arms held most of my weight and his muscles drove into my skin, bending it to form against him. Warmth swooshed inside me as forgotten urges began to swell deep in my core. After what had happened to me, I never thought I’d feel this way around a man again. In fact, I didn’t think I would want another man this close to me, or that anyone would ever want me; not that I thought Julian wanted me, not in that way at least – especially since he knew what I’d been through and how my body had been abused. Feeling Julian’s manhood harden against my belly, I couldn’t believe he’d ever be attracted to me. This couldn’t happen. I wouldn’t let it happen. I swallowed the disgust filling my throat. I should leave now. He deserved better than a second-hand – or third- or one hundredth-hand – battered woman. I tried to remember how we ended up in this shower, but it didn’t seem to matter.

Julian lifted my chin. His pursed lips opened slightly, and all my thoughts floated down the drain. They were so perfect and luscious; full of longing and need, deprived of proper caress. I prepared myself for that first touch I’d dreamt about since I met Julian eight years ago.

“I want to kiss you Kendra,” he said. “And I will, but when you’re well.”

No!
the voice in my head screamed.
Now! Kiss me now, please!
I imagined my fingers digging into his arms, and my entire body begging him for that one kiss, pressing against him until he hit the back wall, climbing up his hard thighs and torso. My chest heaved. My eyes plead and grip tightened. Didn’t he know I needed him more than the air I breathed? Couldn’t he tell my entire soul was in his hands?

Yet I didn’t move at all.

Take me! I want you!

But my mute mouth remained exactly that.

Julian turned off the shower, reached for an oversized towel, and wrapped me in it. As he covered himself, for the first time some black ink under his heart caught my eye. I’d never known Julian had a tattoo there. The Cross brothers and their cousin and business partner Gabe had inked an identical thorn tattoo on their left arm, but I’d never seen this one before. He spun around too fast for me to read the words. Julian lifted me into his arms and carried me to his bed.