Las Vegas Sidewinders: Drake (Book 2) (5 page)

Finally, after he heard
the toilet flush and the water run, she opened the door and stared at him
guiltily. He’d pulled on a pair of shorts while she’d been in the bathroom and
he slowly followed her to the window.

“I’m sorry,” she said
quietly. “I seem to perpetually say the wrong things and—”

“There’s nothing wrong
with what you said,” he interrupted, turning her to face him. “You obviously
were referring to someone you cared about, and you sounded happy that you had
found someone like
him
. Who? Your brother-in-law, Shay?”

She nodded miserably.
“But you can’t replace him, and you can’t be him.”

“Do you want me to be?”

“No. I like you. I’ve
had more fun tonight than I’ve had in years. But I’m so haunted, so alone with
my pain, it’s not fair to drag you into it. You deserve a woman who will enjoy
all you have to offer.”

“Didn’t you?” he asked
after a slight hesitation.

‘Well, yeah,
that
.”
She smiled faintly. “But after, I realized how much like him you are and I
ached with missing him. That’s not fair to you.”

“You’ll always miss
him,” he said quietly. “But it will get better and it will be less painful.
You’re not completely healed, and I’m okay with that. Really, I am.”

“I’m not okay with it,”
she said, looking up at him. She touched his face. “You are absolutely
incredible. You dance, you joke, you make love—and obviously you play hockey,
something I will have to learn more about. What you did for me tonight was
twofold. First, you gave me a glorious evening—a date, with romance, dancing
and mind-blowing sex. And then you gave me something better—you reminded me of
how I used to be. You helped me remember another time and place—yes, with
someone else—but it was a time when I felt whole. Clay stole part of that from
me, and my injuries stole the rest. Now I know it’s still there and I can work
on finding it. I hope, when I’m ready, you’re still single.”

He raised his eyebrows.
“So you’re gonna go on your merry way and figure this all out on your own?”

“I have to, don’t I?”
She frowned slightly. “I have to find closure. I need answers to some things I
don’t know. And I need to come to terms with how I’m going to look. Your sister
is going to try her new procedure on me. She thinks she can get my right eye
normal again—the burned skin on the eyelid droops. She also thinks she can fix
my hairline and make the hair grow right. She hopes she can use skin from my
backside to cover the skin on my cheek so that the burns on my face will be
less visible but the success rate so far has been low with cases like mine.
I’ve seen some of the best plastic surgeons in the country and they say this is
as good as it’s going to get. Skin grafts have been suggested before but not
like your sister’s procedure. Hers, on the three cases that it worked, were
magical. There was nothing there at all, as if they’d never been burned. But
those were children, still growing. So far, her only complete successes have
been on kids. Whatever happens, I have to learn to live with it before I can
risk getting involved with someone.”

“I can be your friend
in the meantime, can’t I?”

She hesitated.
“Friendship with me means that you’re going to have to be patient. I’ve been a
mess the last two years—I owe my friends so much. I’m tired of being a burden
and that’s exactly what I’ve become.”

“You’re not going to be
a burden.” He pulled her hands to his lips and kissed them. “And I’ll bet they
don’t think you are either. I can be your friend, if that’s all you really
want?”

“Right now, yes.” She
was lying, and they both knew it, but it was easier this way. There was no way
she could get into a relationship with this glorious specimen of maleness. She
might have ruined the aftermath, but it had been heady stuff. She knew she
could fall hard for this guy, and that wasn’t a risk she could take at this
stage in her recovery.

“Friends with
benefits?” he asked with a teasing smile.

She couldn’t help but
smile back. “Maybe.”

He leaned over and
softly kissed her lips. “Let me get dressed and I’ll get you a cab, okay?”

“Thank you.” She
reached out to hug him and he pulled her close, enjoying a last moment of
intimacy before having to let her go.

“You slept with Drake
Riser?!” Tessa fell onto the bed in her guest room in total amazement. “The
Drake Riser? Like,
hometown hero
, Drake Riser?”

“What are you babbling
about?” Erin muttered, looking from Tessa to Kate in annoyance. “He’s a hockey
player, not Brad Pitt!”

“He’s probably more
popular than Brad Pitt around here!” Tessa giggled. “Wow, when you go after
something, you really go for it!”

“First this whole trip
to Chicago to see a surgeon about a trial procedure, and then a one-night stand
with a professional hockey player.” Kate shook her head. “He is seriously
hot—I’m proud of you!”

“You know who he is?”
Erin wrinkled her nose.

“I have a few hockey
players that are clients,” Kate said. “One in New York, two in Nashville, and
actually, one on Drake’s team. One of the alternate captains. He’s had some
trouble with anger management in the past, so he hired me to clean up his
reputation. He’s got a new girlfriend and her ex-husband had been causing some
trouble so I’m dealing with that, but he’s been great to work with so far.”

“I guess I never paid
that much attention,” Erin admitted. “Between rehab, Clay’s bullshit and the
military, who had time for hockey players?”

“Could we please only
refer to Clay as ‘Dickhead’ from now on?” Tessa asked, sitting up and reaching
for her coffee cup.

It was the next morning
and Tessa’s husband Bobby had just left for work. She’d fed the baby,
10-month-old Raina, and now they were taking turns holding her while Tessa
enjoyed a cup of coffee and they hung out in the guest room Erin and Kate had
been using.

“Fine with me,” Erin
murmured, tickling Raina’s little feet and watching her giggle.

“So was he delicious?”
Kate asked, her dark eyes gleaming.

“Remember what Shay
looked like without a shirt?” Erin asked with a wicked grin. “Times two.”

“Seriously?” Kate and
Tessa both gaped at her. Shay had been hot. Watching him play beach volleyball
had been the highlight of any weekend in college.

“Oh yeah. I’ve never
seen abs like Drake’s. Seriously. Not even on Shay.”

“And?” Kate teased.
“What about his man part?”

“His man part is quite
excellent.” Erin felt her cheeks turning red. “But we should not be talking
about man parts in front of this little monkey!” She nuzzled Raina’s head.

“She has plenty of time
to learn about man parts,” Tessa agreed, laughing.

“I kind of screwed
everything up, though,” she admitted softly, telling them what she’d said
afterwards.

“Wait,” Tessa frowned.
“When did you sleep with Shay?”

“You slept with Shay?”
Kate gaped at her. “When and how did we not know this?!”

“The night before the
wedding.” Erin hung her head, breathing in Raina’s sweet baby smells. “I never
told anyone ‘cause I felt so guilty.”

“You shouldn’t have
felt guilty,” Tessa said softly. “We knew how much you loved him. Even when you
started dating Dickhead.”

“I have to tell you
guys something else, too.”

“What?” Kate looked
concerned, leaning forward to touch her friend’s arm.

“Liv told me something
while I was in the hospital. She said that she overheard Shay and Mark in the
showers. You know, over there, there wasn’t a lot of room and she was already
in there shaving her legs. When they came in she kind of froze, so she had to
wait them out. Anyway, apparently Mark figured out that Shay and I were in
love, even though we’d never said it or done anything. He asked Shay why he’d
let the woman he loved marry his brother. Shay told him that Clay came to him
at the end of freshman year and asked him to please leave me alone.

“He’d set his sights on
me and decided I would be the perfect wife for his political aspirations. They
had a history of Shay always getting all the girls—you know how good-looking he
was, the life of the party, and really, so insanely hot. Although I didn’t hear
this from Shay myself, Liv said he told Mark that Clay asked him to let him
have me. That one time, if he would let him have the girl, he would never, ever
ask for anything again. And so Shay, who was one of the best human beings ever,
agreed. Unfortunately, we were already half in love with each other, but I remember
how during sophomore year he suddenly made it clear he was not interested. He
fucked everything that moved—but never me. Clay, of course, started hanging
around and Shay kept nudging me in his direction.

“Back then, Clay was
still trying to win me over, so he was really sweet and seemed serious, ready
to be in a relationship. Unlike Shay, who was a wild child. Shay and I were
always best friends, but I started going out with Clay and then it was like
everything spiraled out of control. He asked me to marry him and I realized
that I didn’t love him—I loved Shay. The night of the bachelor party—remember,
we had ours on the same night—Shay said there was no way in hell he was going
to hang out with a bunch of guys and he came with us girls. In retrospect, I
think Clay wanted something to happen between us because he was all for it.”

“
And?!
” Tessa
was glaring at her, unable to believe she’d never told them about any of this.

“You know we all went
out drinking. We got shit-faced, and at some point in the evening, when I told
you guys I had to get some sleep, Shay took me outside the bar and kissed me. I
mean, he kissed me like there was no tomorrow.” She paused sadly. “I guess
there wasn’t for us. I think he wanted
me
to say it first, to admit I
loved him, because he’d made a promise to his brother. But I wanted him to love
me enough to fight for me—I thought I was just another notch in his bed post.
And that was the night that I had my first, and only, orgasms during sex—until
last night.”

“You never had an
orgasm with Clay?” Kate blinked at her. “Ever?”

Erin shook her head.
“He was selfish. He didn’t like oral sex—well, he didn’t like doing it to me;
he didn’t mind if I did it to him. Shay did everything with me that night. Then
he left while I was sleeping. He left a little note on my pillow.” She reached
for her purse and dug out her wallet. From the small compartment behind her
credit cards, she pulled out a little piece of scrap paper. There were only
three symbols on it: S (heart) E.

“Why didn’t you tell
us?” Kate demanded. “We knew you loved him—at least I knew! I would’ve helped
you run away from Clay!”

“I didn’t know what to
do—I kept thinking Shay would come storming in there and declare his love for
me or something, instead of just standing there next to his brother. So I just
got married. And the next day he deployed.” Erin felt tears slide down her
cheeks. Kate gently took the baby from her while they group-hugged on the bed.
Finally, Erin blew her nose and leaned back. The past never seemed to let go.

“So you never got to
tell him.” Kate looked sad.

“Actually, I did.” Erin
smiled faintly. “Just before he died—before we both died. Liv saw how bad he
was, and she whispered, ‘Tell him!’ So I did. And he said he loved me too, that
he was sorry he let me go. Then everything went black. The last thing I
remember is thinking that his heart was beating so slowly…”

They cried together, the
three of them, thinking of Shay and Erin, who never found their way, and then
of Shay, who’d tried so hard to be a good brother, even when it meant
sacrificing the woman he loved.

The three had been
friends since freshman year of college, living in the same dorm and eventually
taking most of the same classes. Tessa was petite and blond, a cheerleader but
more like the mother hen of the group. Kate was the life of the party, always
planning events and playing matchmaker for everyone but herself. Though she was
gorgeous, with long dark hair and beautiful brown eyes, she struggled with her
weight and while not obese, she definitely was not long and lithe like Tessa
and Erin. She’d fought her self-esteem for years, despite her friends always
telling her she was beautiful.

Together, they’d been
through a lot and Erin’s accident had brought them back together like never
before. Erin wished it hadn’t taken something so dramatic to bring back the
closeness they’d had in college, but life, she’d discovered, wasn’t always
black and white.

“Okay, I have to be at
Dr. Riser’s office in an hour and I’m a mess.” Erin stood up. “Please come with
me?”

Both women nodded as
they hurried to get ready.

Sitting in the waiting
room, Erin felt her phone vibrate. She saw she had a text and smiled when she
saw Drake’s name. They’d been talking all morning, and though she’d told him
she just wanted to be friends, their constant conversation since he got up felt
like it was leading to something more. She wanted to fight it, but everything
was so easy with him, she wasn’t quite sure what was going on with them.

Sitting on the plane,
ready to take off. Fair warning: Mack knows about last night.

“Shit!” Erin muttered.

“What’s wrong?” Kate
looked at her.

Erin showed her the
text. Kate and Tessa both snickered.

Is she mad?
Erin wrote back.

No! I told her we were
going to see each other after the surgery.

I’m waiting to see her
now.

I’ll text you when I
land.

Fly safe.

Good luck. Xoxo

“Ms. Gentry?” A nurse
came out and showed the three of them to Dr. Riser’s office. They sat in the
two plush chairs behind the desk, and waited while the nurse brought a third.
Mackenzie Riser sat behind her desk looking more like a supermodel than a
doctor. Her ash-blond hair was swept back in a messy bun and her chiseled
features showed no signs of aging, even though Erin knew she was 48—17 years
older than Drake.

“Erin, it’s so good to
see you.”

“These are my friends,
Kate Lansing and Tessa Barber, and her baby Raina.” Erin had gone to the
initial appointment by herself.

“Well, isn’t she the
little cutie?” Mack came around the desk to smile down at the baby. “I loved
having them, but I do not miss the stress of having them at this age!”

“How many kids do you
have?” Erin asked.

“Two. They’re in
college now, though, so we’re going through a bit of empty-nest syndrome.
Probably why I decided to work on more burn-related surgery, instead of
cosmetic.”

“Well, whatever the
reason, I’m grateful to be here,” Erin said.

“So have you decided
what you want to do?”

“Yes. I want to go
ahead. I can’t keep living in limbo. If you can make me look even a little bit
better, I have to take that chance and then I have to come to terms with the
fact that I will never look the same. Until I do, I’ll never be happy.”

“I can definitely fix
your eye and your hair line,” Mack came over and explained how she would do it,
using a mirror so that Erin could see as well. “The rest, well, I guess we’re
going to see. I’ve done this procedure only six times, three times with
children, and three times with adults. All three of the children are completely
normal now. The skin took and grew back like it was supposed to. Unfortunately,
although all three of the adults look better than before, none of them had the
kind of results I got with the children. I made notes and changes with each
subsequent procedure, so each one has been better, but I can’t promise you it
will be what you want, Erin.”

“I know.” She swallowed
nervously but looked the doctor squarely in the eye. “I realized last night I
can’t get on with my life while hiding behind long sleeves and baseball caps.
So whatever you can do will have to be enough. Not having a droopy eye will be
a huge improvement in that direction. I really don’t even care about my arm and
leg so much. My face, though…”

“Well, every 10 years
your skin will start to sag from aging and I can cut off an inch at a time,”
Mack said with a chuckle. “But until then, I’m going to try really hard. I just
need to know—what is your relationship with my brother and how much am I
allowed to tell him? Sleeping with him makes things a little bit complicated
for me professionally.”

“I’ll sign anything you
need in that regard,” Erin said lightly. “We’re friends. I think we’d both like
to explore more, but until I come to terms with my body, I can’t think about
anything else. You can tell him anything you want about the results of the
surgery, and the procedures before and after. I have nothing to hide. He hasn’t
seen the scars, but he knows they’re there.”

“Wait—how is that
possible?” Kate spoke up with a frown. “You had
sex
.”

Erin felt her face turn
bright red again. “Oh my God, use your imagination!” She rolled her eyes. “You
don’t have to be completely naked, you know!”

“Oh shit, TMI,” Mack
gasped, falling into her chair with a bark of laughter. The four women laughed
at her reference to “too much information,” and shared a knowing grin.