Las Vegas Sidewinders: Drake (Book 2) (15 page)

“Well, I guess you won
this round,” Clay spoke sharply, stepping around Drake to look at Erin.

“You need to take a
step back,” Drake spoke in a soft voice, but there was no doubt that he wasn’t
kidding.

“Oh, is this the new
boy toy?” Clay looked him up and down. “Funny how much he looks like my
brother, my twin. You know, the guy you left for dead in Afghanistan?”

“Clay!” A woman’s sharp
voice spoke over his. Jan Gentry calmly approached Erin and hugged her, kissing
her cheek. She turned to her son. “Haven’t you made enough of a spectacle of
yourself today? Go home, for heaven’s sake.”

“Yes, Mother dear.” He
smirked at her and then glanced at Drake. “Good luck with her—hope you don’t
have any brothers.”

Erin felt Drake’s body
tense and she clutched his arm. “Don’t,” she whispered. “He wants to get a rise
out of you.”

“I apologize for my
son,” Jan spoke softly now. “He hasn’t been the same since he lost his twin,
and while I can’t excuse his behavior, I hope you can forgive him.” She turned
and followed behind Clay, leaving the group struggling for something to say.

“I want to squeeze the
life out of him,” Eric ground out, balling up his fists. “I have fantasies
where I’m choking him, until his face turns red and his ugly little eyeballs
pop right out of his head…”

“Easy, tiger,” Ronnie
nudged him. “I think you need some time in the ring.” They all boxed and it was
their favorite form of stress reduction.

“I hear that.” Liv
shook her head, still glaring in Clay’s direction.

Eric muttered a string
of curses in Spanish.

“I think we need food,”
Erin said after a moment.

“And alcohol,” Kate
added.

“Will you join us,
Colonel?” Erin looked to her boss.

“No. You kids have fun.
Somebody
has to do some work today. I’ll see you tomorrow, Captain.”

“Yes, sir.” Erin smiled
and reached for his arm. “Thank you for coming.”

“That’s why we’re
called a
unit
.” He winked and headed off to his car.

“So, when are we
eating?” Eric whined. “I’m
starving
!”

After lunch, Mark
announced he was going to the cemetery and everyone immediately agreed they
would go too, except Erin. Glancing at Drake, she pulled him aside.

“I won’t go if you
don’t want to.”

“It’s fine,” he said
softly. “We can go.”

“Okay.” She looked at
him dubiously but he winked and they managed to get into her and Kate’s cars
and head out.

Erin knew the way to
Shay’s grave—she’d gone weekly the first six months after his death—and led
them there without hesitation. For a while they stood without talking, looking
at his name and the picture that had been added by his mother. Liv laid flowers
down as they all stood quietly, lost in their own memories and thoughts.
Finally, it was Mark who spoke.

“So, we’re here
celebrating a victory today,” he said quietly, looking down at the headstone.
“I’m sure you’ve been looking out for Erin, but today was a milestone. We
wanted to come by and share it with you and let you know how much we miss you,
tell you what’s been happening.”

“I’ve been playing a
lot of poker,” Liv picked up when Mark stopped. “I bet I could beat you now.
Well, you know, at least once in a while.” She managed a little laugh.

“I gained weight
again,” Eric spoke up. “But I’m married, man, and she can
cook
! I know
you’d be kicking my ass all over the gym, but I’m gonna go on a diet and get
back in shape—you wait and see. Just like you showed me.”

“My new C.O. is a
dick,” Ronnie started when Eric stopped. “I remember when you got promoted
before me, and it pissed me off. But now I see why—you weren’t just a soldier,
you were a leader, and now that I’m working with other people I realize how
special you, and our unit, really were. I miss you, bro.”

“I went out on a date
the other night,” Kate jumped in. “He asked me if I wanted him to come to my
place, kind of out of nowhere, and before I could answer, he said he didn’t
mind fatties.” Her face turned pink but she continued despite Erin’s gasp. “I
remembered the time you told me I should never, ever let a guy talk down to me.
You told me I was sexy no matter how much I weighed, and that any guy who
talked about my weight and getting in my pants at the same time wasn’t worth my
time—so I told him to go fuck himself. Thanks for always having my back, Shay—I
miss you.”

“I’ve had a pretty
shitty couple of years,” Erin finally spoke. “But you know that. I’m glad we
could come here today, together, with good news for once. We miss you, Shay.”

Drake fought that same
feeling of being an outsider, but Erin clung to his arm and looked up at him
gratefully as they moved back towards their cars.

“Thank you for doing
that with us,” she said. “You don’t know how much it means to me.”

“You’re welcome.” He
kissed the side of her face.

They got into the car
and Erin felt torn. She wanted to be with Drake, but she also wanted to spend
time with her friends. She hadn’t seen much of them except Liv since Shay’s
funeral, and though they emailed and kept up on Facebook, it was hard to stay
close. Eric was married now and she knew Ronnie had a serious girlfriend. Mark
was the only one who seemed to be a bit of a loner, but again, she’d never been
as close to him as the others and she assumed it was because of his friendship
with Shay. He knew things about her that he probably shouldn’t, and he’d kept
their relationship more casual than the others.

“So what now?” Liv
asked, sitting in the back seat with Mark. Erin was driving and Drake was in
the passenger seat. Eric and Ronnie had gone with Kate.

“I think we should
entertain ourselves and let Erin and Drake have date night,” Mark said with a
grin. “You know, Faulk’s here too, and I told him we’d go see him.”

“Louie’s here?” Erin
glanced at him through the rearview mirror. “Where?”

“He left the Marines,
he’s at the NSA now.” Mark frowned. “You didn’t know? I thought—?”

“No.” She shook her
head sadly. “I haven’t heard from him.”

“He was undercover,
just got done and is home now.”

“He never called.” Erin
looked hurt.

“He’s had a hard time,
too,” Mark told her. “A lot of survivor’s guilt. Felt like he should have been
with us that night instead of back on base.”

“That’s ridiculous,”
Erin huffed. “Someone had to stay behind and oversee things from the
communications center.”

“He thought it should
have been Shay,” Liv said softly. “You and Shay both ranked higher and one of
you
should have stayed behind.”

She sighed. “That was
Shay’s call, not mine.”

“Louie’s not mad at you—he
just has that whole survivor’s guilt thing.” Mark shrugged. “We all have our
demons from that night, Erin. I’ll tell him to call you.”

“Okay.” No one spoke
the rest of the way home.

At the house, everyone
began to scatter, making no secret of the fact that they wanted to leave Erin
and Drake alone. Kate and Liv were going shopping and the guys were headed to
meet up with Louie. Later, they would regroup at the townhouse and decide what
they wanted to do for the evening. Within 15 minutes, everyone had gone and
Erin and Drake were alone on the couch.

“You look tired,” she
said, touching his face.

“I hate red-eyes. I
don’t sleep and I’ve never been much of a napper.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You’re worth it.”

“I can think of a few
ways to make it up to you.”She got up and slowly started up the stairs, looking
back over her shoulder. “Coming?”

“Pretty soon, I hope!”
He was off the couch and right behind her a second later.

Sitting in the locker
room, Drake pulled off his practice jersey and leaned back. He was exhausted.
He stayed up too late talking to Erin, both when he was home and on the road,
and frankly, he hadn’t slept worth a damn since he’d left her after the
hearing. He was undersexed, underappreciated and playing like hell. It wasn’t
her fault, but loving her was exhausting. He didn’t know how some of his
friends found it so easy to be in love, but apparently he sucked at it.

In the back of his
mind, it occurred to him that maybe it was his choice in women. Mack didn’t
agree this time, and she’d never been wrong before, but he couldn’t shake the
feeling that Erin wasn’t his and never would be. She’d never lied to him or led
him on, and he wasn’t even angry about the whole thing; the sad truth was that
the better she got, the further away from him she went. He knew it wasn’t
intentional. He could hear the love and pleasure in her voice when they spoke,
but she was careful not to talk about the future, and he knew all she really
wanted was to remain a Marine. If he was honest with himself, he couldn’t compete.
Something about the Marines had a hold on her that he probably never would. At
some point, he was going to have to cut his losses. He didn’t care about the
money he had spent on her, and didn’t regret their time together, but he was
starting to pull away emotionally. He didn’t begrudge her anything, but he
didn’t want to get hurt either.

“Drake!”

Drake realized Dom had
been talking to him and started. “Hey, sorry, I was zoned out.”

“Been a lot of that
going on,” Cody Armstrong, the team captain, sat on one side of him and Dom sat
on the other.

“You want to talk?” Dom
asked quietly.

“Not really.” Drake
looked from one to the other. “Look, I know I haven’t been playing my best game
lately, but it’s not like the two of you are taking us to the playoffs. I’m not
the only one not playing his best right now!”

“This isn’t about
hockey,” Dom shook his head. “You’ve been there for us and now we want to be
here for you. Is it Erin? Are things not going well?”

“Things are fine; we
just don’t have a future. She wants to stay in the Marines, and obviously I’m
not leaving hockey. So we’re at an impasse, and I can’t even really fight for
her because she would never forgive me if I didn’t support her while she’s
trying to prove to herself that she’s as good as she was before.”

“You’re sure you can’t
make this work?” Dom looked at him. “Nothing is impossible. Look at my life.”

“You found a woman who
wanted to be saved. Mine just wants to be the same as she was before she got
hurt. She’s not like Molly—she wants more than a husband and a family. She
needs
to be a Marine and I don’t get it. I respect it—but I don’t understand it.”

“So what are you going
to do?” Cody asked.

“I’m supposed to see
her when we play in D.C. next week, and I think I’m going to end it. I don’t
want to be a dick and do it over the phone, not after everything she’s been
through.”

“Are you sure?” Dom
asked, frowning. “Special women don’t come around every day and she sounds
pretty special. Have you come out and asked her what she wants?”

“I don’t think she
knows what she wants. It’s one of those cases where I just need to let her go.
If she comes back, that’s awesome. Otherwise, she needs to fly free.”

“Whatever you decide,
we’re here, you know?” Cody clapped him on the back. “You want to come over for
dinner tonight? Molly and Suze are cooking up a bunch of stuff and you’re more
than welcome.”

“You know, that might
be a nice change. Thanks, I’d like that.”

Having dinner with Dom,
Cody and their families. I’ll text you when I get home.

Erin stared at the text
in surprise. Drake hadn’t said anything about going out with teammates tonight,
and usually he told her everything. Something had been bothering him lately,
she could tell, but she wasn’t sure what. She just hadn’t had time to deal with
it because she’d been putting in so many hours. She put her phone down and
leaned back, stretching her spine. As much as she regretted it, she hadn’t been
able to focus on him much. She’d already been at work for 12 hours today, more
than 60 this week, trying to figure out what was going on in the Middle East,
and something was off.

Despite being on desk
duty, she still had a higher security clearance than most of her colleagues,
and the information she had access to led her to believe something wasn’t
right. The only person she could share her thoughts with was Colonel Nicoletti,
and she reluctantly made her way to his office. She knocked, and then entered.

“Do you have a minute,
Colonel?”

“Actually, I was just
coming to look for you.” He leaned back in his chair. “Tell me something, Erin.
Do you think you could pass your physical if you took it, say, tomorrow?”

“What?” She blinked at
him.

“You heard me. I know
you’ve been working out, but you’ve also put in a lot of hours lately. We both
know something is brewing, and the question is, can you lead a team back to
Afghanistan if you can pass your physical?”