Landslide (3 page)

“Wow, Holden…it’s really, um…” Okay, so I’m no connoisseur of jewelry, but… No. Just, no.

“It’s great, huh? You think she’ll like it?”

Honestly, no. I think it’s ridiculously ostentatious and it doesn’t look like anything Erica would ever wear—not that I know what kind of jewelry any chick would wear, but it just doesn’t look like Erica to me. And yeah, I’m pissed that I’m even having to use words like ostentatious in the first place, but I’ll be goddamned if that isn’t what this ring is!

“I sold my truck to pay for it.”

That’s it! I’m gonna strangle the stupid out of him! “You sold your truck to buy that thing?! That truck is practically brand new!”

“Yep! I don’t need it up at school and my parents were just wasting money paying for my insurance on it every month, so selling it to get the perfect ring for Erica was a no-brainer. I just know she’s gonna love it.”

I blow out a breath and rake a hand through my hair, feeling guilty as hell for half-heartedly wishing he’d told me he cheated on her instead of this, and trying to compose myself enough to not let my disapproval show. I mean what does a guy say when he’s like 98.5% sure his best friend will be making a mistake by getting married?

“You realize if you do this you’ll never get to have sex with anyone else, right? And I’m not saying this as a joke or to be a jerk, but you gotta think about it…is the sex that good right now that you could live with never being tempted to dip your wick someplace else? I mean ’til death do we part is a long-ass time, man, so…you gotta be honest with yourself. Is the sex good enough to keep you faithful in body
and
mind?” I ask hopefully.

Holden shifts on his feet uncomfortably for a second and I think for sure I’ve hit upon something he hasn’t considered. “Actually, I uh…I don’t know.”

“So maybe you should rethink get—”

“No, dude, I mean I don’t know as in we haven’t done it yet,” he admits and waits for the teasing, which I’ll be honest, I really want to commence with, although I go the adult route and keep quiet.

Again, it’s not surprising from the All-American boy and girl, but even though we’ve never actually talked specifics or score cards, I’m pretty sure Holden isn’t exactly a saint.

“Okay, so um…can I ask why not? You guys have been together forever…are you a, um…are you still a virgin?” Did I seriously just get uncomfortable and stumble around asking my best friend if he’s a virgin?

Yes, yes I did.

Well son of a bitch, I think that calls for another smoke…

“No, but she is. We used to tease each other relentlessly about doing it, but we just took everything physical really slow and now we’re waiting until her birthday. I hear what you’re saying though, and honestly, Cole, I’m not worried about it. I’m sure once we do, it’ll be great and if it isn’t, it’s not something that we can’t improve and certainly nothing to keep me from wanting to marry her and spend the rest of my life with her.”

Well, so much for bad sex or a lack of it being a deal-breaker. Don’t get me wrong here, it’s not that I don’t believe he loves her with all his heart and vice versa—if ever there was a textbook example of the clichéd perfect couple, Holden and Erica are it—it’s just that they’re both really young still and I think he’s asking the two of them to make a lifelong commitment too soon. Then again, what the hell do I know? Maybe I’m just transferring my own wants and desires for the future onto them. That has to be it. But on the other hand, they haven’t even consummated their two-year relationship and he’s talking about forever. You know, buying the cow before even knowing if the milk is good or if it’s sour.

Did I just…? Yep. I did. I swear to God, when did I turn into someone’s grandpa? Buying the cow…Jesus Christ.

Jesus, Cole, he’s your best friend, just be happy for him already…

Sucking in a deep breath, tossing my less than half-smoked cigarette away and plastering as genuine a smile as I can muster onto my face, I give him a hug and say, “Holden, man, I couldn’t be more happy for you.” Looking at the ring again, I add, “And I bet you’re right, she’ll absolutely love it.”

Yeah, I totally just lied to my best friend. That ring is god-awful, but hey, you do what you gotta do sometimes.

“Thanks, buddy, your support means a lot. And one other thing I gotta ask you…”

“Hit me.”

“Will you be my best man?” he asks like he thinks he needs to. Like I’m gonna say no.
 

“Holden, I’m almost offended that you even thought you had to ask.”

He smiles and hugs me again when the Cold Stone chick walks back around the corner and taunts, “Hey, you two are looking pretty cozy over there. I think I might be jealous.”

“Aw, don’t be jealous, beautiful, I’ll make it up to you next week. Promise,” I tease, checking my watch to see that my break is just about over. I look back to Holden and say, “Okay, I gotta get back to work.”

“Yeah, I gotta get goin’ too,” he nods as I start walking away, “You should get her name, bro!”

I look back at him and shrug. “Does it matter what her name is?”

He laughs, and just as I jog up and put an arm around the chick’s shoulder and turn to walk back inside, Holden yells out, “New Year’s, yeah?!”

“I’ll be there!” I call over my shoulder.

That was the last time I saw Holden St. James…

2

“She Talks To Angels”

—Erica—

All I can see in front of me is Holden. His taut chest rippling with muscles and beaded with sweat, making his body practically glisten; his broad shoulders sweeping down into powerful arms and hands. Looking up I see his strong jaw leading to those oh-so kissable full lips. And his eyes; his piercing blue eyes look back at me from under thick lashes and the fall of his warm, sandy blonde hair…

Sighing, I shake myself and try to focus on my own reflection rather than the imaginary one I’ve conjured up.

“Erica, sweetheart, I think this is the one,” my grandma squeals and claps once before spinning me around again to look at the back of the dress I’m trying on, “Yes, indeed! I think we finally found it! The length is just perfect and with this elastic band of sequins, I won’t even have to alter it to fit your tiny little waist. Oh! I just wish your grandfather could be here to see you, God love him.”

Smiling at her, I lift light caramel-blonde tendrils off my neck and turn to look at my back in the mirror, making a mental note that I need to touch up my roots with more color before this week’s ceremony. My cell pings with a text, interrupting my consideration of maybe adding some chunkier lowlights to my hair as well. With butterflies already going berserk in my stomach from my daydreaming, I scoot over to my purse sitting on the dressing room chair to fish my phone out.

Holden: One more day! <3

Grinning to myself and biting my lower lip, I reply: I know, I wish it were tomorrow already! I’ll see you bright and early at the airport though. <3

Holden: It’s been so long, how will I recognize you? <3

I huff a small laugh at that and type: Easy, I’ll be the one tackling you and smothering you with kisses the second you step off the plane. <3

Holden: I’ve never looked forward to getting tackled more! I love you and I’ll see you tomorrow! <3

I start typing out another quick reply so he’ll see it before he leaves the locker room, but I jump when my phone starts ringing in my hand. “Holden! What are you doing calling me? I thought it was a field training day!”

“It is, but it doesn’t start for five minutes and I needed to hear your voice. God, Babe, I can’t wait to see you. And hold you. And kiss you.
And…
”

His voice has an excited, almost hyper edge to it, like it does before he takes the field for a game he’s gotten himself super pumped up to play. I know I’m probably blushing, but a quick peek at my grandma tells me she’s busy still contemplating some of the other dresses for me to wear to the big graduation party next week so I turn my back to her and trying to not giggle, I whisper, “I’m especially looking forward to the
and
…”

Being raised by my seventy-some-odd-year-old grandparents hasn’t always been ideal when it comes to makeup, fashion trends, and dating; however since my mom, dad, and older brother had been killed by a drunk driver when I was eight months old, I feel grateful to have had them. Not only do I know they’ve loved me unconditionally, I love them dearly for the sacrifices they made for me. My grandpa was all set to retire when the accident happened, but he ended up working another ten years just so that he and my grandma could better afford the costs of giving me a life with all the things normal parents give their children nowadays. You know, cell phones, laptops, iPods, and all the technology that people in their generation didn’t have or just never had a need for when their kids were growing up. But they gave all of those things to me without question, and they gave me a home filled with love.

They encouraged me when I decided I wanted to be a cheerleader and paid for everything I needed once I made the team; and then they supported me by hardly ever missing a game or a school event that I was a part of. They even made sure my friends were comfortable in our home by always having teen friendly drinks and snacks on hand, and allowing me to throw parties—some of them big events like my annual New Year’s Eve party where everyone and their twenty-second cousin twice removed is invited. Not only that, but through living with and watching my grandparents, I learned to appreciate what a true blessing it is to have a home-cooked meal served at the table and eaten as a family every night, the pride you feel when you make something with your own hands, and the value of a dollar earned through hard work. So, I almost feel more fortunate than some of my friends for having been raised old school rather than how some kids are raised to have a sense of entitlement to things that they haven’t actually earned.

However, when it came to dating, boys, and being able to talk about sex, well…that was a different story. I mean I love my grandma, and both my grandparents were pretty great about Holden and me, but I just never felt comfortable talking to either of them about anything boy or sex related. And let me tell you, awkward doesn’t begin to cover how I felt when Holden’s mom invited me to lunch one day last year.
 

I thought we were just going to have a nice, simple girl’s day with lunch and a pedicure afterwards, but my face turned flaming red when she asked what I was doing about birth control. I had to admit to her that I hadn’t even thought about it because the fact of the matter was; Holden and I weren’t sexually active. Not that we didn’t talk about it—or rather, constantly hint and flirt with each other in regard to having sex, but when we were alone and had the opportunity, we just never got that close to actually going through with our teasing. Up until the time of my lunch date/birth control conversation with his mom, the farthest we’d ever gone was him feeling me up without my shirt on. Although even that was done over my bra. After that day though, and the subsequent doctor appointment I made, I was prepared for the day that we did actually make the decision to go for it.

I used to think Holden and I were cursed because for reasons beyond our control, that day
still
hasn’t come. He and I still went slow even after I chose to go on the pill, but we definitely almost came close once or twice and had to stop because we would’ve been caught. Like this past Christmas Eve… He and I were at his house getting all hot and sweaty in the den in front of the fireplace that’s shared with the room on the other side when his mom came downstairs and started to fill all the stockings hanging on the mantel in the living room. I mean she was
right
there and we could see her legs and hear her walking around through the fireplace screen; and there we were, just around the corner from where she was, both of us completely naked from the waist down and an unopened condom hanging out of Holden’s mouth. I mean I still have the damned thing in my purse so, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t foaming at the mouth waiting for the night of graduation when he and I will finally get to use it.

See, after that episode, he and I talked about it and planned for it to happen on my eighteenth birthday this past February. He could take me out for dinner just the two of us and we could go anywhere we wanted. We were thinking about this one, pretty, but more importantly, secluded spot at the park that overlooks a small lake; however his flight in was cancelled due to fog and heavy rain in Oregon. Once he did make it home a day later, I had come down with the flu. So, we put it off again until Spring Break. That plan never came to fruition either because although it wasn’t unexpected and it was actually a relief for my grandma and me, my grandpa lost his battle with cancer two weeks before Holden’s classes let out. And I don’t know about other people, but honoring my grandfather’s memory by losing my virginity just didn’t seem appropriate to me. Holden either for that matter. He flew down to be with me for the funeral of course, but because of school, he was only here for the one day and flew back to Oregon the next morning. We didn’t get to see each other during the week of Spring Break either because my grandma took me to Iowa with her to sprinkle some of my grandpa’s ashes in his home town and visit her brother-in-law who was in a nursing home and hadn’t been physically capable of making the trip for my grandpa’s funeral.

This time however, curse or no curse, we’re determined. In five days I’m going to graduate, have dinner with my grandma, Holden and his parents, and then he’s taking me to the Hilton where the graduating class is having a party in one of the ballrooms. And from there, we’re going up to the Lakeview Suite, room 908, where we’ll proceed to tear each other’s clothes off and get down to business at last.
 

“Me too, Babe,
believe
me…me too. I don’t care what happens or what I have to do to make it happen. Even if it kills me, you are losing your virginity in five damned days. That’s a promise.”

I sigh and smile to myself again. “I’m holding you to that promise, mister. I’ve been shopping and I think you’re gonna
love
chewing off the edible underwear I picked out for our night together,” I whisper and quietly giggle when I hear him groan into the phone just as a whistle blares in the background. I didn’t actually buy edible underwear; it’s just fun to tease him. However, I do think he’ll enjoy stripping the new bra and pantie set I bought off of me.