“I know, baby, but just think of it this way. If it is a girl, then she will be the strongest little shit in the world. Yeah, her grandma didn’t win the fight, but her momma did, and you’ll teach her to be strong. We will be proactive, teach her about everything you went through, and if, by God, it happens, we will fight. Together,” he promised as the tears spilled over her cheeks. “Nothing can stop us as long as we have each other.”
He made it sound so easy, so perfect, but could it be?
“The main thing, Lacey, is that we have to do this together. We have to make the decision together. We have to work together because we will fail if we don’t. You can’t run off or shut down every time you get scared. Talk to me; let me help you fix it because that’s what I am here for. If you need counseling to help with the years that the cancer took, then, baby, tell me and I’ll be right beside you, holding your hand. I am here to love you and support you. That’s my job, and if you don’t depend on me, then what am I supposed to do?”
She didn’t know how to answer him, so she didn’t as her gaze stayed locked with his, her heart clanking against her ribs. She could feel her body vibrating with each beat her heart took. Maybe she could use some counseling. It worked for other people, but she hadn’t gotten it because her dad wouldn’t allow her. It scared her, but with the thought of having Karson beside her, holding her hand and comforting her through all the pain, she knew she could do it. All she needed was him.
Holding her face, his thumbs wiped away her tears as he said, “I can’t promise you today or even tomorrow because I don’t know what the future holds, but, Lacey, I’ll love you no matter what. You bring out the best in me, and I don’t want anyone but you. Every single second of every day I’ll love you, and I’ll never stop.”
“I won’t either,” she vowed as she held him close. “I’ll love you no matter what.”
“Good, then we’ll be fine.”
She nodded slowly as he hugged her tightly. Closing her eyes, she nuzzled her face in his neck, her arms so tight around him, needing him more than he would ever know. He would never realize how much good he did her. How he took her soul and polished it up to perfection. He made her a better person. He gave her the strength and the love she needed.
Kissing his neck, she remembered what Grady had said earlier and cleared her throat before whispering, “My mom had me even after fighting cancer because she said she wanted to live a life that she was proud of, and she knew that a child would do that for her.”
Pulling back, he cupped her jaw as his eyes bored into hers. Swallowing past her sob, she admitted, “I’m not sure I’m strong enough to do that. How can I put a death sentence on our child?”
He scoffed. “You’re stronger,” he urged, cupping her jaw. “I know you are scared, baby, I get it, but how can you not have a baby if you want one? Yeah, it could happen, but what if it doesn’t? That’s years of joy we would miss out on, and you’ll regret that. Didn’t we say we didn’t want to live with regret anymore?”
She nodded. “We did.”
“Then tell me, baby, do you want to have a child?”
She did. So fucking bad. Always had. She always imagined having Karson’s baby. Carrying it in her body and loving it more than she loved herself. As the tears fell in streams down her face, she nodded, holding his gaze. “Yes.”
“Then let’s do it. Your mom was right. This is the only life we get, and together it will be the best life we can make it. Just never forget that I’ll be right there with you, helping you, supporting you. I’ll be here as long as you want me.”
“And when I don’t, you’ll come out after me,” she added and he smiled.
“Always.”
Her stomach went nuts with butterflies as she looked deep into his eyes. Could they really do this and throw all caution in the wind? Would they be okay? One thing was for sure, she knew she could do anything with Karson beside her.
“My life is complete with you in it.”
“So is mine, and that’s why we have to work for this. Things that are worth a damn aren’t easy. You have to work at it, you have to nurture it and take care of it, or it will go to hell. And we can’t let that happen,” he said, his eyes watering a bit as he gazed into her face. “And I won’t. But I’m not going to lie. It’s gonna be hard. It’s gonna suck sometimes, but as long as we work together, we will be okay.”
“You’re right.”
“I know,” he said with a wink. “But my main concern is making you happy. While I would love to toss you up on this counter and try to get you pregnant, I know you need time to accept that we are going to do it. That we are going to welcome a child,
our
child, into this world and love it with all our hearts.”
When a tear rolled down his chiseled face, she came undone, her heart aching with love for him as he said, “I honestly can’t wait for that moment, and I know it’s going to be the second best thing I’ve ever done.”
Wiping away his tears, she asked, “What was the first?”
“You.”
She gasped for breath as she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him down to her. “Never fails, you’ve always been the one to sweep me off my feet, no matter what.”
“That’s damn right, wife, and that will never change,” he said with a wink. “Now let’s get you packed and get you home.”
Smiling, she kissed his lips hard, their hearts beating as one. “Great plan, husband.”
And it was. Did she have any kind of idea how their life would pan out? Nope, not at all, but as long as she was with Karson, it would be the life she needed. There was still so much to learn about each other and so much that could go wrong, but she didn’t care. She didn’t make a mistake taking the leap and marrying him after being apart for so long. A little voice inside her had told her it was the right decision, and she believed wholeheartedly that it was her mom. It had been hard, but she knew it was worth it. He was worth it.
Because he was it.
Her forever.
By the tenth novel, I’m pretty sure my family and friends know I love them.
Just in case though: Michael, Mikey, Alyssa, and Nick—y’all are my everything and I love you so much.
Noey, Dad, Kristina, and Patsy, thank you and I love you.
Bobbie, Nortis, and Stacey, y’all are my best friends and I love you so much.
My editor, Lisa, you’re not only my editor, you’re my friend, and I’m so blessed to have you. Thank you for helping me grow, pick out covers, and for being totally awesome. Couldn’t be that without you.
My cover designer, Regina, I swear to everything holy, you are amazing! This cover rocks, you rock!
Thank you! My authors, you know who you are and why I love you.
My readers, this couldn’t be done without you. I love you. All of you. With all my heart. Thank you.
Ed Sheeran, you rock, dude, love you to pieces.
My mom, there isn’t a second that passes that I don’t wish you could be here celebrating my accomplishments. I love you, Mom. Thank you and I miss you so much
.
Upcoming from Toni Aleo
Want more of Karson and Lacey? Even Kasey and the rest of the Assassins gang?! Well tune in December 10, 2014 for
A Very Merry Hockey Holiday
, an Asssassins Novella!
A Very Hockey Holiday
(Assassins 7.5)
Becoming the Whiskey Princess
(Taking Risk Novel 2)
Clipped by Love
(Bellevue 2)
And a brand new series is coming in 2015 from Toni Aleo
The Spring Grove Novels
Bring on the cowboys!
Make sure to check out these titles and more on Toni’s
website
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A little snippit of A Very Merry Hockey Holiday
Shea and Elli
T
he Adler residence not only looked like Santa crapped all over it with Christmas decorations but it also looked like a tornado had gone through it. Wrapping paper and toys covered every square inch of their living room, but Shea Adler didn’t care.
His family was happy.
Like they had done for the last seven years, they woke up at the butt-crack of dawn and surrounded the tree, passing out gifts. With each year, it became more hectic though. When it had been just him and his gorgeous wife, Elli, it was easy but consisted of a lot of sex under the tree. Then Shelli came, again easy. Then Posey, still easy, but when the twins came, things started to get a little rowdy. By the time Quinn came, it was a mess. Lots of tearing of wrapping paper and lots of screaming, but he didn’t care. The kids were always happy.
And he actually liked the chaos.
“Mommy, I love it! Thank you! Daddy, you’re the greatest!” Shelli exclaimed as she held up her new iPad.
“But I want an iPad, Daddy!” Posey complained.
“Open the box, honey,” Shea said softly. She did then gave him a sheepish grin.
“Thank you, Daddy,” she giggled, holding up her iPad.
“You’re welcome, honey,” he said as Elli leaned against him.
She looked gorgeous with her hair a mess and in his big Assassins tee with long pants. Her feet were covered by the new reindeer socks that Quinn had gotten her. She had on earmuffs that the girls gave her and also gloves that the twins had picked out.
“Warm and toasty?” he asked and she grinned.
“Oh yes, my kiddos give the best gifts, don’t you think?”
He chuckled as she looked him over. He was wearing a big, bright purple scarf that the girls had selected, along with knee-high hockey socks that the twins had gotten him, and reindeer slippers. He looked like a total loser, but he wore his gifts with pride. “I say I think you are right.”
She smiled before leaning up to press her lips to his. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she leaned her forehead against his jaw as they watched the kids tear open presents and cheer when they got something they wanted. He always loved when they got clothes though. Their faces were priceless. Especially Owen’s. He didn’t hold anything back and made sure they all knew that a gift wasn’t what he wanted. Shelli was kind and always thanked them for things even if she didn’t want it. Which didn’t happen a lot.
Just to mess with her though, he got her a Ninja Turtle, and when she opened it, she asked if it was for one of the boys. He told her no, it was for her, and her face was something for the books. He’d never laughed so hard in his life before telling her it was his, when really, he was going to give it to one of the rookies. The others kids were just happy to get to open presents, and he enjoyed that they were so ecstatic. They still had Christmas with his family later that night, and they were even going to Elli’s dad’s house the following day, which would be awkward because her mom and sister would be there. Since they were still trying to suck up to Elli, he was sure that they would get something overly extravagant for the kids, and he hated that. They didn’t have to buy the kids’ love or Elli’s, they just had to be good to them.
That was obviously hard for Victoria and Olivia Fisher.