Kozav (8 page)

T
here
, Kozav had spoken of the worst. He revealed his true failure and now his mate could decide if they would try to build a passionate mating or resign themselves to platonic mates. They could not live without one another—Grace’s Knowing sickness was proof.

Kozav proved his worthiness to himself before he left Preor. He was confident in his ability to have and care for a mate. Now he waited to see if his accomplishments were enough for Grace.

He was not ready to see her reaction, so he gathered another strip of
syhri
for her to stall for time, as humans said. He recalled that day he hunted the
syhri
, the prayers to the skies. The internal fight to balance his need for gaining height and a controlled beating of his wings. He’d trained for the task, forcing himself to fly higher each day and spend more time in the thinner air. Breathing became more difficult the farther he traveled but eventually…

He silently placed the delicious meat in front of her mouth, waiting for her to open to him. Instead, she scorched him with her touch, small hand encircling his wrist. Light pressure encouraged him to move his hand away and he acquiesced to her silent request. He returned the
dalk
to the plate, allowing her to direct his movements, and then waited.

Her sparkling eyes met his, tears gathering in her orbs and blurring them from his sight. He cupped her cheek, needing another connection to the female that belonged to him. He had made many mistakes in his past and in his short time knowing Grace. Now he had made another if her crying was any indication. “No tears,
shaa kouva
,” he loved repeating those words, reminding himself he’d found his mate with each repetition. After the war… “You destroy me with your tears.”

Grace shook her head, dislodging him, and he fought past the emotional pain that came with the separation. Then her hands were on him, one palm on his cheek while the other curled around his neck. Her grip was strong, sure, but easily brushed aside if she attempted to delve into his mind—poke and prod him until he revealed his secrets. He was not sure she knew of that aspect of a Preor mating, and he did not want to reveal it until they’d accepted one another.

“Well, you destroyed me with what you just said. I can’t believe…” She swallowed hard, emotions sliding across her face so quickly he missed them. “I can’t believe—don’t believe—you’d hurt your family—that you’d kill anyone. You’ve shown so much kindness and gentleness. Even when you yelled, you were very careful about how you touched me. I may have gotten annoyed with you, but I was never afraid. I just can’t believe…”

“Believe it.” He lived with the nightmares every day.

“No. I refuse to. I admit that I don’t know you well, but the Knowing says that mates are complements to each other. That our core beliefs are similar.” She clenched her jaw and glared at him. “You wouldn’t purposely hurt your family. Not if you loved them. Not if you didn’t have cause. Because I know I would never do anything to my mom.”

He clenched his jaw as well, the gentle stroking of her thumb doing nothing to ease the tension. “What about neglect? Neglect can kill someone just as easily as a claw or fire. I didn’t murder them, but I killed them.”

“You wouldn’t.” Her words whispered over his skin.

“Yes.” He would not be pardoned for his actions. Would not allow her to imagine him better than he was.

“No.”

“Ah,
shaa kouva
,” he leaned forward, moving slowly and carefully as he pressed his forehead to hers. Her scent surrounded him, embraced him with its sweet flavors. From the moment he’d touched her, he’d found a hidden tenderness within himself. Even as he raged at her stubbornness, he remained in control. It was as though his rough edges and countless years were washed away by her mere presence.

Except when she was hurt. He would not allow thoughts of her injuries to resurface and break this tender moment.

“I did not end their lives intentionally but it was my doing nonetheless.”

“I don’t understand,” she whispered, the words breaking his heart.

“The war… the death of so many…” The screams of the females and dragonlets filled his mind. Their deaths senseless and gruesome. “You do not know the truth of what was done. What we did to ourselves. How we failed those in our care. And how I destroyed my own line.”

Grace eased from her chair and he tensed, prepared to move out of her way—give her space to flee if she chose to. But she didn’t. Instead, she lowered herself to one of his knees and encircled him with her arms.

Did the Knowing show her how much he needed a gentle touch, the feel of his mate in his arms? Or had she truly come to accept him?

“Tell me.” Her curves cradled him, her mere presence giving him strength to continue and the comfort he’d need when done.

Kozav forced his mind back to that time, to the endless days of fire and pain; tears and blood. So much blood.

“The great conflict began with a territory dispute. A fight over pieces of sky on a planet that is still half-untouched.” He closed his eyes and let his warrior’s facade drain away. He was simply a male holding his mate. “I was no more than fifteen turnings. A very young warrior with my
dam’s
scales clinging to me.” His lips curled in a small smile, remembering his
dam
. She’d been a tiny female who ruled her aerie with an
irous
—iron—fist. “I was so proud to be granted entrance to the military early and chosen to fight for the Haclu.” He should have been forced to wait, but his father agreed to allow him to enter before his eighteen turnings passed. “The opposition was determined to separate themselves and make war on us. They did not want to just establish their own skies. They wanted to rid the planet of the Haclu line completely.”

Stupid males and stupid posturing, as his
dam
once said.

Grace rested her cheek on his chest; giving him more strength to push on.

“The Haclu were happy to let them go. To allot them land and the skies above. To let them rule themselves. Preors do not seek to lay claim to the clouds but if they wished to no longer be a part of us, they were sent off with good blessings. The emperor wants what all Preors want—peaceful skies.”

“It wasn’t enough for them,” she whispered.

“The opposition wanted the skies but didn’t like being told they were ‘allowed’ to do anything. They felt no one should rule absolutely over another. Ever.” He sighed, snippets of speeches teasing his mind.

“A lot of people have that opinion on Earth. Their opinion is right and everyone else has to have it too.”

Kozav nodded. “It would have been more accepted if the Haclu neglected their people, but we flourish under their rule. We always have. They are fair and fiercely battle any corruption within the government. Our laws balance what is right with the actions we take due to our inner natures.” Everything the Knowing would reveal to her supported his words. Millennia of rulings and lawmaking. Millennia of peace. “And the opposition…”

He swallowed hard. “They struck first—at the borders. Borders they wished respected. But for a people who’d lived without them for so long…” He bent over farther and buried his face in her hair. He let her scent soothe the raging emotions inside him. “A family, a
sire
and
dam
along with their two dragonlets, were out enjoying the air. The treaty was recently signed and the four drifted into opposition territory.”

He shuddered. The vids broadcasted from aerie to aerie still haunted him. “They were torn apart. The dragonlets and
dam
ripped from the
sire’s
back. He had deep gouges along his spine, bone and flesh cut from his body. Reports said the
dam
and dragonlets perished before reaching the ground, but the
sire
…” Roars and sobs, the male battered and destroyed by the attack. “He claimed he heard his mate screaming for him as she fell.”

He’d never seen a fierce male brought so low. He’d had eight hundred years beneath his wings—an old dry scale if there ever was one—and the events crushed his spirit. “He took his final flight the moment he was released by the healers.”

“What does that mean?” Grace’s voice trembled and he cursed himself for revealing Preor’s history. But it was knowledge she needed to hear, from his lips and not the Knowing.

“I touched the very edge of space when I caught the
syhri
. He did not stop. He flew and flew until he was taken from Preor by the stars.” Kozav had nearly succumbed to such a flight after he’d failed his
dam
and sister. Nearly. In those early days…

He turned his head and pressed his lips to her neck, savoring her scent and a hint of her taste. “That was the first battle. One of many. For every attack, we retaliated. For every death, we claimed a life of our own. We would not go to war, but we would defend our people. Until…”

Until. Until that day. Until that time. Until he’d been too slow to stop…

“I’d only just been granted warrior status. I was young. A mere sixth warrior. Barely worthy of fetching items for the others, but I was a warrior, none the less.” Cocky. Brash. Stupid. “I served a powerful male, a Primary Warrior of our region. I was responsible for running messages. I was young, light, and quick.”

Grace snorted and tilted her head back. Sadness clouded her eyes, but a grin teased her lips. “I don’t think you’ve ever been
light
. You’re massive.”

He strained to meet her small smile. “Lighter, then. I was to simply convey a message, but I saw a male from the opposition skimming the ground. He flew so low, his colors blending so well, that I nearly missed his passing. The leaves,” he closed his eyes, the scene unraveling. “The leaves had turned brown, the season growing cooler. The male’s coloring matched the shrubs. If he hadn’t passed over a section of trees that still clung to summer’s heat instead of succumbing to the dropping temperature—their green leaves bright against the male’s brown—I would have never seen him.”

But Kozav had. He’d spied the male and given chase. Furious, unending, bloody chase.

“I followed him at a distance. I wished to see his destination, his purpose, for crossing the border.” He snorted, his thoughts pulling forward more and more. “I imagined myself to be a
peme
—spy. I would gather intelligence, bring the male into custody, and report. I would earn medals and awards. I would make my
sire
proud.” He shuddered, nearly sobbing over the next events. He was a strong male, but even strong males shed tears.

“I’m here for you.” A single sentence, a few words, and his emotions steadied.

“I thought it a game. A game… until we reached the outer edges of
Croria
. It’s one of our largest cities and where the sen Aghins called home.” He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to push away what came next.

“You mean
call
home,” she murmured and he shook his head.

“Called. I am all that is left and after that day… I never returned.” He would get through the rest. “I saw where he headed and dove to catch him. I was going to bury him in the dirt. But the male saw me. And he was fast. Faster than my fifteen turnings. Fast enough to outfly me and fly straight up past me. If I did not hate him for his actions, I would have been in awe. For a Preor to fly straight up, not at an angle, but purely vertical… it is a sight.”

Kozav paused, hating the rest of the story but knowing it needed to be told. Grace deserved the truth.

“What happened when he outflew you?”

“In Earth history…” He sorted through what he knew of Earth’s past. He hunted for the term he needed and pushed onward in his story. “There were warriors. Kamikaze warriors. They went into battle intending to die but would destroy as many others as they could.” Grace nodded and he continued. “This male was a Kamikaze warrior. One of many that day. One of many that succeeded.” He tried to pull his emotions away so he could finish his tale. “Jarek’s
sire
, Taulass, was a science master for the opposition. He developed a virus that he injected into fanatical males. Once inside one of those males, the virus infected their fire and when they blew their flames, the sickness spread and infected everything it touched.”

He breathed deeply and shoved down the pain that threatened to engulf him. “It infected every
female
it touched. Males were not affected. But the quickest way to eliminate a species is to kill the females.” Grace’s grip tightened and he held her closer as well.

His eyes burned and he did not care that he cried like a female. He shed blood during battle. There was no shame to shed tears as well. “I destroyed that male, but it didn’t save them,
shaa kouva
.”

The chase through the city seemed endless, his opponent winding in and out of walkways that connected the aeries. Females didn’t have wings and had to navigate the city somehow. The stranger delved left and right, sliding through the tiniest spaces.

Blowing fire with every beat of his wings. Infecting the females with every flex of muscle.

“I caught him in the central square before the justice masters. I was not as strong or quick, but I had endurance. By the time I sent him spiraling to the ground, I was able to subdue him. He died beneath my claws.” His soul still reveled in the feel of the male’s blood flowing over his claws. “It was not until the first female fell ill that we realized the truth. I rushed to my
dam
and sister. My
sire
was gone, fighting for the Haclus. And I… I watched the light leave my
dam’s
eyes and held my sister close as she called for me, begged me, to end her pain.”

He could no longer speak then. Not while Oosa’s cries rang in his mind.

“That wasn’t your fault, Kozav. None of it.”

Kozav snorted. “I failed in following orders. I did not report my findings or call for assistance.”

“The pride of youth.”

“
Pride
,” he sneered. Pride killed his family. “I did not catch him. I did not stop him. By the time I ended his life, the damage in Croria was done.”

“And your father?”

“He is why I was determined to prove my worth before attempting to find a mate on Earth. After my
dam
died, my
sire
soon followed.” He pulled back and cupped Grace’s cheeks. He brushed away her endless tears with his thumbs. “I wanted to be strong and honorable for my mate. Because if I found her on Earth, I did not want to give her a worthless mate.”