Knowing Me Knowing You (33 page)

‘
I’m
sorry,
I don’t know how she found out
.
P
erhaps it was me, not looking like your girlfriend and trying to shake hands with you
…
’
Kate began, feeling guilty.

‘
It’s OK, don’t worry about it, it’s not important. You just worry about gett
ing the questions right in the “Bitter or Sweet”
round,
’
Joel spoke with a smile.

‘
But…
’

‘
Come on, let’s get another drink,
’
Joel urged her, taking hold of her hand.

‘
They got nine out of ten,
’
Kate announced, downing the drink in her hand.

‘
Who?
’

‘
Sodding
Gloria and Mark
.
W
e can’t win now, the best we can do is come second.
’

‘
Then that’s what we’ll do. Come on, don’t be so defeatist,
’
Joel informed her.

‘
We don’t know each other well enough.
’

‘
We do. How many of the other couples will have been practising questions together most nights?
’

‘
Anthony and Hayley will have been
,
the rest of them do
n’t need to because they’re…
’

‘
Sleeping together?
’

‘
Well, yes, I suppose so, although
…
’

‘
You don’t get to know someone by sleeping with them.
’

‘
No, I guess not.
’

‘
So what’s the problem? We know each other, we’ve spent the last few weeks getting to know each other, we know enough.
’

‘
Come on, come on! Chop
,
chop, you’re next!
’
Becky announced
her pink hair hitting Kate in the face as she swung around and led the way to the stage.

‘
And here they are
l
adies and
g
entlemen, o
ur current second place couple -
Kate and Joel,
’
Larry announced to the cameras.

‘
You know me Kate,
’
Joel said seriously, squeezing her hand.

‘
Hel
lo guys, are you ready for the “Bitter or Sweet”
round? Joel, it’s your turn to go in the booth so if you would like to trot over there, slip on the blindfold and the headphones we’ll get underway.
’

Kate watched Joel as he went into the booth and covered his eyes and ears with the pink velvet accessories.

‘
Don’t look so nervous my love; I’m sure you’re going to do very well. OK, a quick recap
.
I am going
to say two words, for example, “
savoury
” or “
sweet
”
, and you are going to answer how you think Joel will answer, taking into account his preferences.
Everything clear?
’

‘
Yes, I think so,
’
Kate told him with a nervous swallow.

‘
OK, can I have thirty seconds on the clock please?
’

Kate looked out at the
Randall’s
table.
Lynn
was biting her nails but when she saw Ka
te looking she gave
a thumbs
up.
Colin was unbuttoning Dawn’s blouse and paying little attention to what was happening on stage and Miranda had taken off her shoes and was having her feet massaged by Andrew Kent.

‘
OK Kate, ready? And start the clock
-
savoury or sweet?
’

‘
Savoury.
’

‘
Action or relaxation?
’

‘
Relaxation.
’

‘
Up or down?
’

‘
Up.
’

‘
Tea or coffee?
’

‘
Coffee.
’

‘
Nightclub or wine bar?
’

‘
Wine bar.
’

‘
Ferrari or Porsche?
’

‘
Porsche.
’

‘
Truth or dare?
’

‘
Truth.
’

‘
Gym or bed?
’

‘
Gym.
’

‘
Flower or tree?
’

‘
Tree.
’

‘
Hot or cold?
’

‘
Hot.
’

‘
That’s great; you managed all ten, well done,
’
Larry spoke as he came to the end of the time.

Kate could feel herself sweating
.
S
he really didn’t know whether she had given the right answers or not. She had just said the first thing that had come into her head; there hadn’t been any time for consideration.

‘
OK, let’s get Joel out of the booth and I will pose the same questions to him and see how many matches we get and how many Kissing Gates we can add to your board,
’
Larry announced.

Joel rejoined Kate and took hold of her shaking hand.

‘
OK, Joel, we asked Kate, and remember, these answers relate to you, so answer them honestly.
Savoury or sweet?
’

‘
Savoury.
’

‘
Action or relaxation?
’

‘
Relaxation.
’

‘
Up or down?
’

‘
Up.
’

‘
Tea or coffee?
’

‘
Coffee.
’

‘
Nightclub or wine bar?
’

‘
Wine bar.
’

‘
Ferrari or Porsche?
’

‘
Porsche.
’

‘
Truth or dare?
’

‘
Truth.
’

‘
Gym or bed?
’

‘
Bed.
’

‘
Flower or tree?
’

‘
Tree.
’

‘
Hot or cold?
’

‘
Hot.
’

As the questioning came to an end Kate had no idea how they had done. She had been too nervous to remember the answers she had given.

‘
Right, well, I think you have done pretty well, just waiting for c
onfirmation through my earpiece.
Y
es, yes, Kate and Joel you scored
nine
matches out of
ten
. It seems Joel prefers bed to gym, you lucky, lucky girl. Congratulations
!
T
hat means you cannot be caught and we have our winning couples, winning
Knowing Me Knowing You
here in Bournemouth are Gloria and Mark and our runners-up, also through to the national finals are Kate and Joel!
’
Larry announced.

With that announcement made the Love Dove bounded onto the stage with two giant golden eggs and gave one to the ecstatic pensioner Gloria and one to Kate.

‘
And your prize for this evening is
five thousand pounds
plus a night in an executive suite at the
Metropole
Hotel in London when we take the game show the whole country is talking about to the capital,
’
Larry announced.

A mixture of fear and excitement swept over Kate and she didn’t really know what to do.
Lynn
was on her feet screaming at the top of her voice and Darren had mounted a chair and was waving his stump in the air, a bottle of red wine in his good hand.

And then suddenly the golden egg fell out of her hands and hit the floor as Joel picked her up and swung
her around. Kate screamed and held on to him until he eventually put her down.

‘
Come on, let’s go and celebrate,
’
Joel spoke excitedly.

‘
I thought there was something you had to tell me,
’
Kate replied, picking the egg up from the floor.

‘
It can wait
.
C
ome on, let’s have champagne,
’
Joel encouraged, taking Kate by the hand and leading her back towards the green
room.

‘
I’ve definitely had too much to drink, I’m sure there weren’t two hot tubs here earlier,
’
Kate spoke as she staggered up the steps towards the door of the romance lodge.

‘
I did warn you against a third cocktail,
’
Joel replied, getting the key out of his pocket and opening the door for them both.

‘
Of course you did, it was like having a virtuous voice of conscience in my ear.
’

‘
Are you calling me boring?
’

‘
No, I couldn’t call you
that,
it would be rude after you bought the champagne for everyone on the
Randall’s
table. You shouldn’t have done that by the way, it was too much.
’

‘
It’s just money.
’

‘
God!
Listen to you! It’s just money! We may have
five thousand pounds
to divide up,
sixty
:forty
in my favour, but there’s no need to go throwing it away.
’

‘
OK, point taken. Do you want a coffee?
’
Joel asked her.

‘
Does the virtuous voice in my ear think I should have one?
’

‘
Most definitely.
’

‘
Then I will have one,
’
Kate agreed and she sat down on the sofa, kicked off her shoes and wrapped her legs underneath her.

‘
Shall I put the fire on?
’
Joel asked as he filled the kettle.

‘
Ooo
now you sound like my butler, yes please
Jeeves
,
’
Kate joked, taking off her earrings and putting them on the coffee table.

‘
So how did Hermione take the news of our progression into the grand finals?
’
Joel
asked
, switching on the fire and coming to sit down next to Kate.

‘
She screamed, loudly, like only she can and then kept saying
“
I told you so
”
to Philip who was clucking like an overexcited Love Dove in the background. Apparently she did a rune reading that afternoon that told her there was no way we weren’t going to make it through. I wish she had told me that.
’

‘
No you don’t. You don’t really believe in any of that stuff,
’
Joel answered.

‘
Well it can’t be true can it?
’

‘
Why not?
’

‘
Because it’s fortune
-
telling, fairground mumbo jumbo that people make up to suit themselves.
’

‘
You think Hermione lies to people?
’