Knock Out (The Billionaire's Club: New Orleans) (9 page)

Silence pressed down on Sebastian as he let himself into the house. The house sounded empty and he knew if he botched things with Renata, that empty silence was all he had to look forward to. For a moment he wondered if Renata had left despite Duparte’s assurances, and the thought that she wasn’t there punched him like a cheap shot to the kidneys.

Dread pumped through his veins as he made his way to the second level and Renata’s bedroom. It bled to panic as he raced from her empty suite to his, calling her name. Maybe Duparte was wrong. Maybe Renata had come to her senses and decided to cut her losses. Maybe …

Just inside the doorway he stopped short. Renata sat against the headboard wearing one of his dress shirts, eyes red-rimmed but gimlet hard. Her beauty, her presence, sucked the air from his lungs, causing him to sag against the door frame in abject relief.

She spoke first. “I decided that maybe it’s time we act like rational adults and talk. So we’re going to clear the air, Sebastian Delacroix. I don’t care how long it takes, we’re going to reach an understanding.”

“I’ll start.” He scrubbed a hand through his hair and took a ragged breath. “I know no one in their right mind should want me to father their children. But God help me, I want kids with you, Rennie. I’d die before I hurt them or you. They wouldn’t want for anything in the world.”

“I know that, but Bas—”

“I’ll call my lawyer in the morning.” He gripped the door frame above him in an effort to prevent himself from reaching for her. “We’ll draw up a stringent prenuptial agreement. Punitive damages if I ever hurt you or any children we have. If I hurt you, you should have a way to hurt me.”

Shock raced across her features. Her hand tightened on the front of her shirt, then smoothed out. “No,” she said, her voice even.

“Then name your terms,” he demanded, desperation making his voice harsher than he’d intended. “You want everything? Fine, you can have it all. Just know that I can’t back down on being with you and our children. We’ll all be in this house together and you and I will continue to share a bed whether we are married or not. I lost five years. I’m not losing one second more. I’ll find a way to convince you not to be afraid. I’ll do whatever it takes.”

“Listen to me.” She crawled closer to him, holding his gaze. “I’m a boxer and a Sicilian Puerto Rican. Do you really think I wouldn’t go all mamma grizzly on your ass if you tried to hurt me or our kids? But it’s a moot point because I know you. You are not your father. I have never believed that, and I’m so sorry that I made you think, for even a second, that I could believe that.”

“You said you were afraid of me. Afraid of what I would do.”

“Afraid of you breaking my heart, Bas! You dumped me for your career once before. I was afraid you’d do it again.”

He jerked back, a low groan of pain crawling up his throat. “Not because of my career,” he ground out. “For yours.”

She gaped. “So what Duparte said is true? My father made you break up with me?”

“Yes.” He blew out a sigh. “Walking away … hardest damned thing I’ve ever done. I can’t regret the outcome. You made it, Renata. You became a champion. You fulfilled your father’s dying wish and he got to see you with that belt. What I’m sorry for is hurting you. I don’t like you being hurt. I just hope you’ll forgive me eventually.”

“Dad told you about his cancer,” she whispered thickly. “That’s why you did it.”

He nodded, hands tightening on the doorjamb. “I ripped my fucking heart out and proceeded to break yours. I ruined the best thing that happened to me even as I vowed to do everything I could to be worthy of having you someday. I was determined to be a success so I could give you everything you’d need to have a happy life.”

“I needed you!” Intensity tightened her voice. “How could you not know that?”

“I wanted to believe that. But your father was … he was the first man I respected as a father. His main concern was to do everything he could to help you achieve your dreams. He wanted the best for you and he’d do anything for you. I admired the hell out of him for that. It made me want to be like him one day, and I knew I needed time to get to that level of selflessness where you’re concerned. But I’m not selfless, Renata. If I were I’d let you go, but I can’t. I want you too much.”

Her eyes softened. “I know you want me, Bas, but I need more than that.”

“What? Tell me what you need, sweetheart, and I’ll do it.”

The uncertainty in her eyes stabbed at him. “If you love me, I need to know. I need the words.”

The doorjamb whined beneath his grip, his heartbeat tripping with renewed dread. “I don’t know.”

She gasped. “You don’t know if you love me?”

Her hurt expression knifed through him, goading him to attempt an explanation. “My dad said he loved my mom even when he rearranged her face. My mom said she loved him each time she forgave him and took him back. She says she loves me but she hasn’t looked me in the eye since I was sixteen because I look so much like him. That’s been my experience with love. Even I know it’s pretty fucked up.”

“Bas.” Tears spilled down her cheeks as she covered a horrified gasp.

“I can’t give you the words,” he confessed, knowing he was ruining his chances, but knowing he had to tell her the truth. “Not when I don’t know what they’re supposed to mean. What I can tell you is that I’ll do anything for you, anything to make you happy. Your laughter is my favorite sound. Your head on my shoulder is my favorite sensation. The crook of your elbow is my favorite taste. The way pleasure breaks across your face is my favorite sight. Just behind your left ear is my favorite scent. Every moment I have with you is my favorite moment and worth more to me than my championships, my companies, everything else.”

His eyes slid closed. “I bought this place because I wanted to fill it with your laughter and our kids. I know I don’t know the first thing about being a decent husband or father, and the idea frankly terrifies me, but I want to learn. I want to try. Because when I think of home …” He stopped, then started again. “When I think of what I want home and family to be for me, I think of you. Only you. Always you.”

Realizing he was close to begging, he shut his trap. He’d beg if he had to, if she wanted. If it would keep her here, keep her with him, he’d crawl over hot coals down Bourbon Street.

“Oh, Bas.” His eyes popped open as he felt her hands cup his cheeks. She smiled up at him, her beautiful eyes brilliant with tears. “You gorgeous, clueless man. You do know what love is.”

“I do?”

She nodded. “You walked away not because my father asked you to, but because you wanted what was best for me—no matter how ridiculous that was. That’s love. You welcomed me into your home, became my trainer, gave me an endorsement deal, and didn’t ask for anything in return. Why?”

He pressed his cheek into her hand, hoping. “Because I wanted to make up for hurting you.”

“Because you love me.” She pressed against him. “You’ve seen to my every need, taken care of me in your own special Neanderthal way because you love me and that’s the way you show it. Sebastian Delacroix loves me.”

A shudder swept him. “If that’s love, Rennie, then yes. I love you. I love you with every broken, flawed piece of me. Love you so much it hurts, but it’s the best kind of hurt there is.”

“I love you too, Sebastian,” she said, scrubbing at her tears. “When I’m in your arms, I feel complete and safe and home. You’re home, Bas. Being with you is being home.”

“Renata.” He wrapped her up, relief overwhelming him as he claimed her mouth with his, peppering his kisses with whispered apologies. She thrust her hands into his hair, her salty kisses interspersed with her own expressions of remorse.

It was long moments before they broke for air. He brushed her tears away with as gentle a sweep as he could manage with trembling fingers. “I never want you to cry over something I did, ever again.”

“These are happy tears,” she whispered, brushing at his cheeks. “Now I need to make love with you, with both of us knowing that we love each other and belong to each other.”

“Yes. God, yes.” Clothes flew in a shower of fabric. Naked, he scooped her up in his arms then carried her over to the king-sized bed. He positioned her in the center then stood back, gazing down at her. “You’re so beautiful, Renata. Like a dream that’s finally come true. You’re mine, and you’re where you belong.”

“Yes.”

He stretched out beside her, then began to kiss her, pressing soft, full kisses to every bit of her skin. He moved slowly down her body, from forehead to cheeks, nuzzling at the sensitive spot beneath her ear, along her jaw before claiming her lips. She opened for him on a moan, the sweetest sound, proof of his ability to please her.

With every touch and kiss and stroke, he showed her how much he loved her, how much he needed her. What she had to look forward to every day for the rest of their lives, throwing her to the heights of pleasure with his hands and mouth.

“Bas,” she whimpered breathlessly when he let her back down.

“I’m right here, sweetheart. I’m right here with you.” He rose above her and the way she smiled at him, welcomed him inside, blew everything else away. Renata was his finally and forever, and he was now home.

***

Four weeks later

Renata stood in the center of the ring, her eyes closed as the silence wrapped around her. The crowds had dispersed a while ago, followed by her very gracious opponent and a swarm of media. Her victory had been sweet, sweeter than she’d believed it would be. Sweetest because when she’d knocked down Andropova for the last time and the fight had been called, she’d run straight into her corner and into Sebastian’s arms. His exultant yell as he’d hoisted her up onto his shoulder had rolled through her like a drug. He’d been as thrilled as she’d been, her biggest and loudest cheerleader, her constant supporter, carting her around the ring, heads and shoulders above everyone. This night was truly the best of her career, and she had Sebastian to thank for it.

“You don’t have to stop, you know.”

She opened her eyes, watching in pleasure as Sebastian stepped over the lower rope and into the ring. He’d showered and changed after the press conference had ended, and the worn jeans, black shirt, black boots, and black leather jacket made him look even more like a brawler than usual.

“I don’t know how it would work,” she said, her voice hushed. She was tired, battered, and bruised, and it all felt good.

He moved to the center of the ring, a man who knew how to move his body for the best possible result. A man comfortable with who and what he was. A man who loved her unconditionally. “If it’s what you want, Renata, we’ll make it work,” he said, his voice ringing with quiet assurance. “We’re not going to let anyone stand in the way of our dreams. Not even ourselves.”

She did a slow spin in the center of the ring, taken in the empty arena. “It was amazing.”

“You were amazing. You always were. You always will be.”

She laughed. “You’re talking like you’re the one who’s punch-drunk, not me.”

He stopped in front of her, blue eyes shining with love and assurance. “Rennie, I’ve watched you fight from a distance. This is my first time seeing you fight up close. You are absolutely, positively, undoubtedly amazing. If this is what you want to do, you should do it.”

Hesitation pulled at her because while she wanted to do this, she also wanted her life with Bas, her family with Bas. “I don’t want to have to choose between us and the ring.”

“Who says you have to?” He gathered her hands in his. “Renata, we’re together. We’re in this together. We’re always going to be together. That means I got your back no matter what. You want to defend your title this year, next year, the year after that? Do it. You want to go on a speaking tour and show off your belt and tell your story to young girls so you can inspire them? Go for it. If you want to focus on being a mother, that’s not a problem either. Want to do it all? I say why not? I just want you to know that no matter what, I am here. I’m here, Renata. I’ll have your back, carry your bag, and rub your feet. I’ll help you train and manage your career with you. I’ll very enthusiastically work on filling our house with our babies and learn to change diapers. Whatever you do, whatever you want to do, however you want to do it, I’ll do it with you.”

“Bas.” Tears sprang to her eyes. If she’d ever doubted how he felt for her, she never would again.

He knelt in front of her. “I love you, Rennie. Every part of you—the fighter, the mother, the lover. And for some crazy reason, you’ve decided that you love me. You’re willing to take a chance on me and I’d be a fool to not do everything in my power to make you happy.”

He reached into his jacket pocket, then pulled out a black velvet box. “Every time I won a bout or made a million I bought a ring for you,” he confessed. “But I kept switching it out until I found something that I felt really suited you and a regular diamond wouldn’t cut it.”

He opened the box, revealing a flawless, gleaming, red center stone encircled by a ring of clear stones set in a gleaming, studded platinum band. “It’s a red diamond flanked by flawless white diamonds. I saw the stone and it reminded me of you and your fire and I knew I had to get it for you.”

“Oh, God, Bas, did you really buy me a ring every year?”

“Every time I won—whether it was a match or a business deal, as a statement that I was ready to win you back. This one was delivered to me just before I left LA.”

A smile wreathed his entire face. “Renata Maria Giordano, you are the love of my life. You’re my peace, my center, my proof that there’s a heaven. Tonight you’ve proven what I already knew—that you’re the best of the best. I’d be the happiest man alive if you would do me the honor of letting me share your life, your dreams, your hopes, and your joys. I am yours and you are mine and I want the whole world to know that we stand together. Will you marry me?”

His fingers shook as he plucked the ring out of the box and slid it onto the ring finger of her left hand. It fit perfectly. “What do you say, Renata? Will you do whatever you want with the rest of your life as Mrs. Giordano-Delacroix, knowing I’m with you every step of the way?”