Knight in Shining Suit (64 page)

In truth, none of these
were our fault. Ryder didn’t choose to forget me. And if he had a
choice he would have gone home to me the day he got into an
accident. We would have been making love these past few months
instead of tearing each other apart.

He cupped my face between
his palms again. “If… if you would choose to leave me, I would
understand. I will not hold it against you. I know I had hurt you
beyond belief when I promised you that I would always protect you.
So, if you choose to leave me, I will set you free,
Astrid.”

He leaned his forehead
against mine again, struggling to find the right words to say. He
took a deep breath.

“
But if you would still
accept me, I would make it up to you for the rest of our lives. I
would try my best to make you forget what a monster I have been the
past few months. I would make you remember who I really am… the man
who is so in love with you and… the man who would go to hell and
back for you.”

I broke down after hearing
him say those words again, like he used to in the past.

I am Ryder Van Woodsen,
the man who will go to hell and back for you.

And I knew that I really
have my Ryder back.

He pulled away from me and
looked into my eyes. They were welling up with tears. He looks
remorseful… broken… and scared out of his wits. He looks like a man
who is afraid that he is about to lose
everything
.

“
The decision is yours to
make, love,” he said. “Although I am praying…
So. Hard…
That you choose the last
option.”

In spite of my tears, I
giggled. Tears kept streaming down my cheeks and I couldn’t find my
voice.

I stared back at him. I
know what my answer is going to be. There was never another option
for me. Ryder with amnesia may deserve a slap or two… but that’s
not who he is anymore. This Ryder now… is the man I desperately
hoped would come back to me.

“
I love you, Ryder.” I
whispered. “I will not go through life asking myself what could
have been if I chose to stay with you. And I know… if fate had been
fair to us… you would never hurt me.”

He smiled. Relief washed
over him. Tears were still streaming down his face. “Oh, love!” And
he crushed me into his arms, holding me as if he will never let me
go again. His lips came down to mine and he gave me one passionate
kiss that felt like he was kissing me for the first time. That kiss
said everything I wanted to know. It enveloped a million emotions
that cannot be put into words. And I know he meant what he said…
that he would spend the rest of our days making it up to me… making
me forget the things he never meant to do.

Then he pulled away from
me gently, and stood up on his feet, pulling me with
him.

“
I love you so much, Ash,”
he said. “Even when my mind had forgotten about you, my heart never
stopped beating for you. The minute I laid eyes on you at the
hospital, I felt something for you… but I didn’t know what it was.
So I resorted to being defensive… pushing you away instead of
knowing who you really were in my life, and discovering the many
reasons why I was so in love with you.”

I giggled. “And now, do
you remember all those reasons?”

He smiled ruefully. “I
realized it even before I got my memory back,” he said. “I came
back to John’s house to tell you that… I love you… that I am in
love with you… with or without my memories of you. I was going to
convince you that we didn’t need those memories to be happy…
because we can always create new and happier ones together. I came
back to convince you that I’m still the man you fell in love with.
That fact has not changed.”

“
And thank God you came
back! At that exact moment.” I said in between tears. “Otherwise,
Bryan would have succeeded in what he came there to do.”

He leaned his forehead
against mine and took a deep breath. “And I would have killed
him.”

I leaned forward and
kissed his lips. “Thank you, Ryder!” I whispered. “You never fail.
Even when you have forgotten me, you were still there to protect me
and save me.”

He raised his fingers to
the bandage at the top of my brow. “I wasn’t fast
enough.”

“
But I made it out in one
piece,” I said. “And that’s all that matters.”

He stared at me for a
moment, then pushed a lock of stray hair away from my
face.

“
Ash?”

“
Hmm?”

“
If ever I forget you
again, please hit me in the head… no matter how many times it
takes… until I regain my memories of you, okay?”

I giggled at that. “Keep
in mind that if it were up to me… I would never, ever want to lose
you… not even in my memories. I would always want to remember
you.”

That made me cry even
more. I giggled in spite of my tears and then I nodded.

He pulled me to him again
into a tight hug. “Astrid…” He whispered, breathing in the scent of
me. “I love you so much.”

I took a deep breath,
resting my head on his shoulders. I realized just how much I missed
doing this, holding him in my arms like this, feeling the warmth
and comfort that he brings.

“
I love you too,
Ryder.”

He pulled away from me and
looked at me deeply. Then he leaned forward and kissed my lips
gently. It was one kiss, but it lasted longer than it should, both
of us savoring the love wrapped around it.

Then he inhaled the scent
of me and whispered against my lips, “Let’s go home,
love.”

I almost burst from
happiness. I know… it may be a few months too late… but I was very
happy to hear him say those words again.

Ryder put his arm around
my shoulders and led me back to Adam’s house.

Adam was on his couch. He
stared up and looked at my swollen eyes, and then at
Ryder’s.

“
I’ll go get some stuff.”
I said to Ryder, pulling away from him.

Adam’s brow shot up. He
stood up from the couch.

“
Where do you think you’re
going?” he asked me. His tone and expression is every bit
protective and big brotherly. And I had to smile at the thought,
because after all these years of hating Adam, I never thought we
would love each other this much now. And in a way, it’s one other
good thing that came out of what Bryan and Geena did to
me.

“
Adam… I’m going to stay
with Ryder for a while.” I said, smiling at him
reassuringly.

“
Actually she’s going to
stay with me for good.” Ryder corrected me.

Adam shot Ryder a warning
look and Ryder gave him a slight nod.

Men! How can they
understand each other without even talking?

“
I have the papers ready
for you to sign.” Adam said to him.

“
What papers?” Ryder
asked.

“
The papers that
officially say you pulled out of Astrid’s company and that she
bought you out.” Adam replied.

Ryder’s face stiffened. He
took a deep breath. “Oh. That!” Then he shook his head. “I’m not
going to sign that,” he said.

I stared at him. “But
Ryder... I told you that I’m not going to change my mind about
giving you the check.”

He looked at me. Even
though it seems we are about to argue again, I can see the
difference now. This Ryder still looks at me with tenderness and
love, even though we don’t always agree with each other. And
silently, I thank the heavens again for helping him find his way
back to me.

“
And I told you that I’m
not going to change my mind about not accepting it,” Ryder said. He
turned to Adam. “I’m not going to pull out my money. I want you to
draw up some papers stating that Astrid has majority ownership.
Give me ten percent share, I don’t really care. That company is
hers, but I will not pull out my investment there,” he said
firmly.

“
We’ll have a surplus of
cash. We don’t need that.” I told him. Even after I return Adam’s
money, there will still be a lot of cash that we don’t seem to
need, especially now that we have transferred into a smaller office
and operational costs are going to be lower.

Ryder stared at me with a
solemn expression on his face. He took a deep breath. “Maybe it’s
time you seriously think about branching out in Manhattan, love. We
were having this discussion a couple of months back. Maybe it’s
time we revisit that conversation.”

In his eyes, I can see
that he really wanted me to do it. And after all that we have been
through… after losing him for a few months, and finding him again…
he can ask me to branch out in Timbuktu and I still would say
yes!

“
Guess you’re really back,
Van Woodsen.” Adam said to him. “Don’t hurt Astrid again or I
swear, you won’t get away with it next time.”

Ryder reached out and
extended his hand to Adam. “If I do, you’re welcome to kick my
ass.”

Adam nodded, shook Ryder’s
hand and then he looked at me. “When you two finally decide on
this, give me a call and I’ll get the papers done.”

After about an hour of
packing my stuff, we finally got to Ryder’s house. He stepped
inside and pulled me with him. He looked into my eyes and said,
“Welcome home, love.”

Tears welled up in my
eyes. This house held too many memories for Ryder and me… memories
that Ryder lost for a while. Memories that I thought he will never
recover.

I stared up at him and
then I lunged forward and kissed him. He wrapped his arms around my
waist and kissed me back. Then he bent down and swooped me off my
feet and carried me to the bedroom.

We didn’t speak, but we
showed each other how much we missed each other… how happy we are
that we’re back to where we were five months ago.

The last time we were
together, it was different. It was like raging emotions, dark, sad,
and daring. That lovemaking was like finally giving in after
fighting for so long, and then savoring the stolen moments of
heaven regardless of the consequences that we would face in the
morning.

This lovemaking… felt just
as passionate, but without confusion and sadness… and without any
trace of doubt. This felt right… like every step we took in our
entire lives has led us to this... has lead us back to each
other.

I screamed his name when I
reached my peak and at the same time I felt his body rock within
me. My eyes were wet with tears, as the emotions threaten to
overwhelm me. When I looked at Ryder, I saw that his eyes were
teary, too. He leaned forward and kissed me.

“
I love you, Astrid,” he
said solemnly. “And I never want to forget
that
again.”

“
Thank you, Ryder.” I said
in between our kisses. “Thank you for finding your way back to
me.”

We lay in bed for a while,
locked in each other’s embrace, feeling each other’s warmth,
savoring the feeling of being together again. Both of us were
afraid to let go, to break the magic… to wake up from this surreal
dream.

Finally, I propped up on
my elbow and asked, “Are you hungry?”

“
Yes,” he replied. I can
hear laughter in his voice.

I sat up and started
gathering my clothes. “I’ll cook,” I said.

Ryder was quick to pull me
back to bed. “You can’t,” he said,” he said.

“
Why?”

“
Because the fridge is
practically empty.” I raised my brow at him. He chuckled. “You left
a few weeks ago. It’s your duty to restock our fridge,
love.”

Our fridge?

“
Your fridge, Ryder.” I
corrected him.

He shook his head. “Didn’t
you hear me say to Adam that you’re staying here for
good?”

My eyes widened. “I was
only half-listening then. I was more afraid of the warning looks
you two were exchanging.”

“
He
was giving me the warning looks. I was just merely accepting
them.”

“
So you told Adam I’m
staying here for good, but we haven’t discussed this
yet.”

He pulled me by my neck
and kissed my lips gently. “Okay, so let’s discuss this now. We’re
only picking up where we left off five months ago,” he replied.
“This was my plan then, Ash. To ask you to move in with me here. No
wonder I was so pissed when I found out you were staying with
John.” He cringed at the memory. “I’m sorry I got delayed a couple
of months, but Astrid… it would really make me happy if you agree
to live here with me.”

I couldn’t believe what I
was hearing. He was actually asking me to move in with him… to
start making a life together.

“
I want to call my
landline, and know that you will be picking up the call. I want to
come home here, knowing that it’s you greeting me at the door. I
want to open my fridge and know that you’ve done our groceries…
that you’re taking care of me, as much as I’m taking care of
you.”

My heart swelled at his
words. When I woke up this morning, I never thought this day was
going to end like this. That Ryder would come home to me and would
try to make everything right. That he would try to undo what he did
when he has no memories of me.