Knight in Shining Suit (43 page)

I closed my eyes, tears
rolled down my cheeks. I was so overwhelmed with what Ryder said. I
could hardly believe my ears.

When I finally found my
voice, I said. “I went out on a date just to prove to myself that I
was ready… but when I was there with that guy, all I could think
about was that something was wrong, like I was cheating. When I saw
you, I felt so guilty and so scared. I couldn’t even kiss the guy…
I could not fall for any other guy or date anyone else. That is why
I came to your house that night.” I took a deep breath. “I love you
too, Ryder. I guess that gives you your answer.”

He smiled, a genuinely
happy smile. Then he leaned forward and kissed me very thoroughly.
He kissed me with all his heart, all his soul. He kissed me like he
couldn’t believe he was kissing me for the very first time in his
life, like he didn’t want to let me go ever again.

When he pulled away he
smiled at me and said, “It’s good to kiss you like that and know
that I wasn’t doing it for the show… or that kiss didn’t have to be
over soon enough.”

I knew exactly what he
meant. That kiss felt like… unlocking all the chains I built around
my heart. Then the intensity of my love for him swept through me in
waves I could barely contain. Tears rolled down my cheeks and I
realized how close I had come to losing him… to making the biggest
mistake of life.

I tiptoed and kissed him
again. He kissed me back as hungrily as I did. Then he leaned his
forehead to mine and took a deep breath. When he pulled away, he
picked me up on my feet and carried me in his arms, back towards
his car.

“
What are you doing?” I
asked, giggling.

He smiled at me. “Taking
you home.”

He carried me to his car
and settled me on the passenger seat. He drove to his house. When
we reached the door, Ryder picked me up again and carried me inside
his house.

“
Welcome home, love,” he
said to me. “Your ‘ever after’ starts now.” As I looked up his
face, he was just as sincere as he was boyish. This was the Ryder
that I missed. The real Ryder. And when he said that my ‘ever
after’ started now, I wanted to cry again. I held on to him tighter
and buried my face on his shoulder. I silently prayed that this
wasn’t all a dream because I didn’t want to wake up from
it.

He took me to his bedroom
and laid me down on the bed. He took off his jacket and kicked off
his shoes.

I laughed when he leaned
down towards me with a mischievous smile on his face.

“
Hey, didn’t you say you
were going to honor my
no sex before
marriage
policy?” I asked.

He raised a brow. “I did?
I don’t remember!”

He leaned down to give me
a kiss on the lips. He looked down at me and in a more serious tone
he said, “Yes, I did. And I’ll do it… all you need to do is
ask.”

I smiled at him. I was
tempted to. But I’d been on that road before. What was the point of
holding Ryder back when we’d already shared many nights of passion,
and my body craved his helplessly?

I shook my head. “I’m not
going to,” I whispered to him.

He narrowed his eyes. “Are
you sure?” he asked. “Because whatever you say now becomes your
final answer. You can’t change your decision half-way,
love.”

I laughed. I shook my head
and then I pulled his face towards mine and gave him a kiss. “I’m
sure.”

He smiled at me and then
he kissed me hungrily. I kissed him back, letting that familiar
desire for him envelope me completely. He undressed me, kissing
every bit of skin he exposed. I kissed him as hungrily as he kissed
me. He looked at me in eyes dark with desire. Without taking his
eyes off me, he claimed me, finally making us one. I let out a loud
moan. Ryder swallowed them with his kisses. Then he leaned his
forehead against mine and sucked in a deep breath. “I love you,
Astrid! You have no idea how much!”

Panting, I leaned forward
and kissed him back, saying, “I love you too, Ryder. Maybe just as
much as you love me.”

23.

BOND:

A connection that fastens
things or people together.

T
he next morning, I woke up Ryder with kisses. He smiled at me
and then he held me by the waist, pushed me on my back and pinned
me between his body and the soft mattresses of his bed. There was
no need for words after that.

It was almost noontime
when we got up from bed. I knew that Ryder would leave soon and
this made me want to cry already.

“
What time’s your flight?”
I asked him.

He smiled and pulled me to
him. “Tomorrow at ten.”

“
Why?” I asked in
surprise.

“
I canceled things
today.”

“
Ryder… why did you do
that?”

He kissed me. “I wanted
to. A day won’t hurt. It’s our first day together… for real. The
first day that didn’t have to end.”

I gave him a hug.
“Geography’s going to be a bummer, won’t it?”

He chuckled. He pushed a
lock of stray hair away from my face. “Let that be my
problem.”

I stared up at him.
“That’s not fair. I don’t want you to stress yourself out too much
traveling so often to Malibu. I know you live most of your life in
Manhattan.”

He smiled at me. “You know
the solution to that problem, love. But until you’re ready, I’ll
fly in as often as possible.”

I hugged him. Tears
brimmed in my eyes. I missed him already. If I wanted to solve this
problem, I only needed to make a move to Manhattan myself so Ryder
needed only to fly back to Malibu once a week.

I gathered my clothes on
the floor. Ryder did the same to his. Just then I remembered one
thing—Ryder and I hadn’t used any protection. I sat back in bed
quietly, thinking. In New York, Ryder didn’t wear a condom either,
but he withdrew. Now, I don’t remember him doing so.

“
Something wrong?” he
asked.

I shook my head nervously
and stood up to go to the bathroom. I was nervous. I wasn’t
counting the days of my period, because I wasn’t sexually active.
That was obviously before Ryder. I tried to remember the last time
I had my period.

I felt Ryder pull my hand
so I could sit back in bed. He tilted my chin up so I can look at
him.

“
Tell me,” he
said.

“
I told you there’s
nothing.”

He narrowed his eyes. “I
know you well by now, Ash. For months, all we had were signals and
moods, and I had to decipher every sign that you threw my way
because I couldn’t go ahead and demand my answers verbally. So now,
I know that something’s bothering you and please… I’d like to
know.”

I stared back at him. I
took a deep breath. “You didn’t… withdraw.” I said
quietly.

He was taken aback by what
I said and then he laughed. He pulled me to him in a hug. Then he
whispered, “Every queen needs a prince or princess in her ever
after too, doesn’t she?”

I pinched his arm.
“Ryder!”

He laughed again. “Okay,
so let’s discuss this,” he said. “I honestly don’t mind. As long as
it’s with you, I’ll be the happiest man on Earth, not that I'm not
already.”

“
Ryder, we just officially
got together last night. You haven’t even told your mother about
me.”

“
Of course I have,” he
said.

“
What?” I asked nervously.
I hadn’t met Ryder’s family. And I was so scared they would be
against this… against me.

“
My mother knows I’m
helplessly in love with a beautiful wedding planner from Malibu
named Astrid, who has dazzling violet eyes. She knows you were torn
by a broken engagement thanks to your cousin. I was the rebound guy
who was waiting patiently for you to realize that you’re in love
with me, too. And the fact that I have money in the banks made it
more difficult for you to admit that I’m the right guy for you all
along. And she couldn’t wait to meet you, Ash. She admires your
spirit in fighting back. Moreover, she likes the fact that you
liked me more when I was just a bartender.”

“
Wh… when did you tell
her?”

“
I came clean with my
family, and Janis and Jake, when Adam phoned to inform me you were
fuming about the investment,” he said. “Paris wants to meet you now
more than ever. Janis was a little heartbroken to know you weren’t
really my girlfriend and asked me to swear to do whatever it takes
to win you over. In my world, Ash, you’re quite a rare find. Both
my mom and my sister thought I was lucky to find you. They couldn’t
wait to meet you.”

My eyes widened and I felt
more nervous. He laughed. “Don’t worry. They already like you. I
know they’ll like you even more when you meet.”

“
Do I have to meet them
soon?”

“
Of course!” he said.
“Especially if you move to Manhattan.”

I stared back at Ryder and
I could see in his eyes that he really wanted me to move to New
York. He was not pressuring me yet, but it was definitely something
he wanted to happen. “I promise to think about it.” I said to
him.

He smiled. “That’s good
enough for now.” He leaned and kissed me on the lips. Then he
stared back at me for a while before saying, “So, you want to
discuss contraceptives?”

I nodded shyly.

“
I am only comfortable
with two. Withdrawal and condoms. If you go on the pill, I want to
make sure it’s perfectly safe, no side effects. I don’t want
anything that could have any adverse effect on your health. I do
want to have babies in the future, love. I don’t want to decrease
our chances of having one when you’re ready.”

I smiled back at him.
“Okay. Withdrawal is probably the riskiest method there is, and
condoms break.”

He shrugged. “So what?
Then we’ll have a baby. Nothing would please my mother
more!”

“
Ryder, don’t you think
we’re moving too fast?”

He laughed and pulled me
into a hug. “Too fast? You have been practically engaged to me for
months now, you know. But if you feel like I’m crowding you or
something, let me know. I’ll go slow.”

I reached up and gave him
a kiss. “No. I’m just a little overwhelmed. I still can’t seem to
believe that this is happening for real.”

“
Me too.” He sighed. “Just
yesterday, I was longing to hug you again and feel you hug me not
for the sake of putting on a show in front of Geena.”

Now, I remembered Geena
and I smiled. “Geena may be right.”

“
What did you talk
about?”

“
She wanted to know if I
was happy. She told me the story from the beginning. Apparently,
Bryan was cheating on me long before he and Geena hooked up. Geena
wanted to feel a little better by making sure that I’m happier than
I’ve ever been. So she can feel better herself. She wants to make
it work with Bryan. She wants my consent… she wanted to know if I
was happy so she could at least tell herself that she was a
blessing in disguise to me. That she paved a way for me to find a
better, happier life with a much better man.”

“
Are you
happier?”

I stared up at Ryder’s
handsome face and I smiled. “Yes. I am.”

“
I know you’ve been burned
before, Ash. This may prevent you from trusting and giving yourself
fully to your next relationship. Please don’t hold back on me. I am
not the man that Bryan was. I promise you, it will be different
with me. Love me with all you have… because I love you with all I
have.”

I hugged him. I couldn’t
help crying. He smiled at me and gave me a quick kiss.

After a quick shower, I
dressed in the pants I wore yesterday and one of Ryder’s
long-sleeved shirts.

“
We need to go to my
place. I need to change clothes.”

He laughed. “My shirt
looks sexy on you.”

“
But I’m not staying a
minute longer in these pants!” I protested.

“
Alright. You need to pack
a couple of clothes anyway,” he said. “My flight’s tomorrow
morning. I was hoping you’d stay one more night here.”

I smiled at him, and
reached up to give him a kiss. “Of course.” I sighed. Even though I
had him for the whole day today, the idea of him going back to
Manhattan tomorrow, and not seeing him for about a week already
broke my heart. I missed him already. This honeymoon state just
ended too soon.

“
Are you okay?”

“
I miss you already,” I
whispered.

He chuckled and tightened
his arms around me. “My normal schedule requires me to be in
Manhattan for four days and two days in Malibu. The extra day is up
to me, although by the looks of it, it seems Malibu is the place to
be during my day off.”

I reached up and kissed
him on the jaw. “It’s going to be crazy for you, traveling so much.
But I can’t ask you not to do it. I will miss you so
much.”

“
I will miss you more,” he
said. “I’ve waited for this. I’ll try my best not to mess it up.
Just trust me, okay?”