Kissing Under The Mistletoe: The Sullivans (Contemporary Romance) (19 page)

Even though she knew he didn’t want them to
continue as a secret, he said, “I didn’t bring you here tonight to
try to make you change your mind, or to make your reasons seem less
valid.”

“You could have never done that, Jack.” It
was why she’d come to care about him so strongly, so quickly.
Working to ignore the flutter in her belly that proved she wasn’t
nearly as brave as she was trying to appear, she declared, “I’m
tired of letting the past rule my present. And my future.”

The way he was looking at her, Mary swore he
could see right down into her soul.

“I’ll wait as long as you need me to wait,”
he vowed in a low voice.

Had anyone ever cared for her this much?

“No more waiting.”

And then she pressed her lips to his in a
soft kiss so much like their very first under the mistletoe.

Mary held tight to Jack’s hand as they came
down the stairs. By now, there were only a few people left in the
lobby to see them together, but when she and Jack didn’t rush into
a taxi, several strangers came up to ask for her autograph.
Throughout, while Mary made it a point to remain close to Jack, she
noted that he was still being careful not to touch her too much or
be too publicly affectionate. It was as though he knew one wrong
move so close to her decision to share their relationship with the
world would make her skittish.

It never ceased to amaze her how well he knew
her…and how deeply he’d gotten into her heart right from the first
day she’d met him.

Could he know that she was working overtime
to try to ignore the voice in her head that said she was moving too
fast? Could he hear the cautionary whisper inside her that was
trying to warn her she was making decisions too wildly where he was
concerned? Could he see her worrying that she was letting her heart
run away with her again…and that she would pay for her foolish
romantic ideas in the end?

A part of her wished that he’d push her
tonight, that he’d force her to admit all of her remaining fears—of
being scared to trust him with her heart, and wondering if love
could truly last forever…even whether she would still be someone
who mattered to him or anyone else when her face was no longer on
magazines and TV screens and billboards.

But in the back of the taxi on the drive back
to her house, Jack didn’t force her to admit her hidden fears. He
simply pulled her close and held her.

Mary had been with men who were flashy, the
life of every party, the head of every line, the first in front of
every camera. Whereas Jack reminded her of her own father. Steady.
Warm. Strong.

Solid, from heart to soul.

When the taxi pulled up in front of her
house, she slid her fingers through his. “I’m not ready for the
most romantic date of my life to end.”

Of course, she wanted him to come inside and
spend the night with her, sweet hours of sinful lovemaking that
stole her breath and set her heart to racing. But even more than
that, after those moments when they’d temporarily sated their
passions and he was holding her in his arms, she wanted to
experience the feeling of deep, sweet closeness and joy.

Jack’s dark eyes never left hers as he paid
for the taxi, and then they were standing in front of her house
once again, two lovers who she now understood had never had a
chance of resisting the beautiful pull between them.

What sweet relief it was to allow herself to
give in to the heady urge to kiss him out on the sidewalk beneath
the moon and the stars for anyone to see. And when his mouth was
against hers and his arms were around her, it was easy to ignore
her lingering fears, the worries that she wished would stop trying
to push their way to the surface.

“Thank you for the flowers, the movie, the
popcorn, and the company…they were all wonderful.” With each word,
she drew him step by step up the stairs. “I’d offer to make you a
cup of coffee, but I have a feeling I wouldn’t give you a chance to
let you drink it before it got really, really cold.”

She was just opening her front door when he
said, “We’ll have it in bed,” in that low voice that sizzled up her
spine.
“After.”

Oh, yes.
After.

As soon as they were inside, Mary started
stripping away Jack’s jacket and shirt, her lips immediately
covering each patch of skin she bared. He was doing the same with
her, when her phone rang.

She’d never once let the phone go unheeded,
even when the timing was as bad as it was now. What if it was her
parents calling? What if they were hurt or sick? Or what if her
mother was finally ready to talk to her again?

The men Mary had been with before Jack had
never understood why she would drop everything to pick up the
phone, but when she looked into Jack’s eyes with an apology in hers
and said, “I’m sorry, I have to get the phone,” he didn’t look
upset.

Instead, she could see that he automatically
understood. “I’m not going anywhere. Go see who that is.”

She pressed a quick—and grateful—kiss to his
lips before rushing off to grab the phone from its cradle. “Hello,
this is Mary.”

Yvette’s cheerful voice came through the
line, and Mary had to smile at the girl’s rush of excited words.
“Slow down, Yvette,” she said with a laugh. She grinned at Jack,
who was in the kitchen filling her moka pot with water. “Start over
at the beginning so that I make sure I get all the fantastic,
exciting details straight. You were playing cards with your aunt
and uncle in your Iowa farmhouse when you got a call about a
last-minute shoot in Switzerland?”

Mary had just kicked off her shoes and was
tucking her legs beneath her to relax on the couch when Yvette said
the one name she’d never wanted to hear again, much less a name
connected with one of her young model friends. “Romain?” His name
followed a sharp intake of breath as Mary confirmed again, “You’re
working with
Romain Bollinger
in
Switzerland?”

Yvette continued to chatter in her ear, while
Mary’s hand went numb on the phone as she was hit with a
crystal-clear flashback to that horrible day she’d walked into his
penthouse and found him in bed with a much younger model.

A young model who had looked an awful lot
like Yvette…and one who hadn’t lasted any longer in his bed, or
life, than Mary had. Models, they’d all learned the hard way, were
totally dispensable objects to Romain. He was, in fact, a thousand
times more faithful to his French chef than he was to any of the
women he brought in through his revolving door.

On a night when Mary should have been basking
in the glow of finding a man like Jack Sullivan, she was forcibly
reminded of what a fool she’d been when it came to matters of the
heart. She’d believed every one of Romain’s false promises and had
been so desperate for someone to love her that she’d turned every
one of his pretty lies and every single kiss into so much more than
he had ever meant them to be.

Sitting on the couch speaking with Yvette on
the phone while Jack was just feet away in the kitchen, Mary
couldn’t stop her past and present from getting all tangled up
again.

Jack and Romain, Mary and Yvette, love and
loss, heartbreak and recovery…she simply couldn’t figure out how to
separate them.

Belatedly, Mary realized that Jack had left
the kitchen and was kneeling in front of her, her free hand in his.
His eyes were full of concern and silent support.

A week ago she probably would have run, would
have done anything she could to push him away and escape from
feelings that were too strong and too frightening. But, amazingly,
as she stared into his eyes and felt his thumb stroke over her
palm, she actually felt her insides begin to untwist. Enough that
she finally realized Yvette was saying her name over and over,
asking if their connection was still all right or if they’d been
cut off.

Working to refocus her thoughts on the
bright, vibrant young woman on the phone, Mary knew she needed to
warn Yvette to be careful with Romain. She wouldn’t be able to
stand it if the fun, lively girl was drawn in by his false promises
and ended up hurt and disillusioned. At the same time, however,
Mary remembered all too well what it was like to be a headstrong
young woman. Whenever anyone had told her to be cautious, there had
been nothing more she’d wanted than to prove she could deal
brilliantly with whatever risky situation had been thrown at
her.

Very carefully, in as easy a voice as she
could manage, Mary told Yvette, “I worked with Romain and his
company a few years ago. The photo shoot was excellent, but—”

Oh, how she wished she could find exactly the
right words to keep Yvette safe. Barring getting on a plane to
Switzerland and watching over the photo shoot to make sure he
didn’t try anything, it was simply impossible to play bodyguard to
the young models who had come to mean so much to her. And wasn’t it
true that they would soon come to hate her for hovering?

Mary took a deep breath. All she could do was
tell Yvette the truth of her feelings and then trust her to do the
best she could with the information. “Romain is quite a ladies’
man. I know that because I didn’t just work with him,” she admitted
in a voice she worked hard to keep steady. “I dated him for a
while, too.” Jack’s hand on hers kept her warm and grounded as she
told Yvette, “It didn’t end well, and the reason it didn’t is
because he cheated on me. To him, I was nothing more than an
expendable pretty face. I could never forgive myself if something
like that happened to you—I just wanted you to know.”

“He sounds like scum,” Yvette said in a
passionate voice. “And stupid, too, for cheating on you. What guy
could be that dumb when you’re so amazing?”

Mary was more than a little surprised to find
herself starting to smile at Yvette’s reaction. And then when the
girl said, “Besides, I’m not interested in old guys like him,” she
could all but see Yvette’s nose scrunch up as she added, “Eww.”

Mary couldn’t keep her laughter from bubbling
up and over as she agreed with a simple and heartfelt, “Yuck.”

All those years ago, when Mary had been
telling her mother about her grand opportunities to model in New
York City, all she’d wanted was for her mother to have faith that
her daughter would make good decisions. Now, she realized, it was
her turn to do that for Yvette.

Of course, Mary had known all along that
Yvette had a good head on her beautiful shoulders. Which was why
she meant every word when she told her, “You’re going to knock them
off their feet in Switzerland, honey. I can’t wait to hear all
about it when you get back. And thank you for sharing this great
news with me.”

When Yvette told her that of course she had
to call, because Mary was family, her eyes finally teared up, but
not with fear or worry.

With joy.

* * *

Women had often told Jack over the years that
he didn’t pay enough attention to their needs, their feelings, that
he was too focused on his computers and circuits to understand
them. And they’d been right, but only because none of them had
captured enough of his heart to get all his attention.

But Mary had had his full attention from the
first moment he’d set eyes on her. He’d watched her shift from an
animated phone conversation with Yvette to turning pale as a ghost
and when he’d heard the name
Romain
fall
from her lips, he’d immediately sensed her concern for the young
woman she’d been watching over.

At the same time, he’d instinctively known
that Mary’s doubts and fears about their relationship had to be
rising up again. What could have been a better reminder of the need
to be careful with Jack than hearing about that bastard again?

Back at the movie theater, it had meant so
much to Jack when she’d said she didn’t want their relationship to
be a secret anymore. And yet, even as she’d said it, he’d known
that she was still holding something back from him, that final
piece of herself…just in case.

Jack knew how badly she’d been hurt. Not only
by the Swiss watch mogul, but also by the way her own family had
pushed her out of their lives. And he’d meant it when he’d said
he’d wait as long as he needed to for her.

She’d told him that day in his garage that it
would take her some time to heal all the way. Well, he was a very
patient man when he needed to be…and he would just keep loving her
through her doubts and fears until they were completely gone.

As she hung up the phone, Jack moved beside
her on the couch and asked, “Are you okay?”

She put one hand on his cheek and held it
there. “You know what? I am.” She stroked her fingertips lightly
over the stubble on his cheek. “I’ve never had a man to lean on,”
she said softly. “Not until you.”

In that instant, all of the vows he’d just
made to himself to be patient snapped in two.

He had to tell her how he felt.

She had to know.

“I love you, Mary.”

She’d blinked at him in pain and confusion
minutes earlier when Romain’s name had left her lips. And then,
when she’d put her hand on his cheek after she’d hung up the phone,
she’d gazed at him with warmth. Now, she was clearly shocked by his
sudden declaration.

As an engineer, Jack understood precision and
timing better than most. And yet, even if he was screwing up
everything in this moment, he simply couldn’t hold back the depths
of what he felt for Mary one more second.

“I never want to keep anything from you,
Angel.” Now he was the one cupping her face in his hands as he told
her, “Even when my professional dreams stretched from a few years
to a decade, I always felt like I was holding the reins of control.
I could see steady progress, and I was certain that nothing would
knock me off course before I achieved my goal. But then I met you,
and from that moment I’ve been hit with countless feelings—and
desires—that I never saw coming. Not just the desire to kiss you,
to touch you, to make love with you, but the need to make a life
with you. I want to know that you’re mine and I’m yours and that
everything we do from here on out, we’ll do together. I want you to
become a part of my family. I want to find a way to reconcile you
with your family. And I want the two of us to create a family of
our own together, too.”