Kissing Mr. Right (13 page)

He spoke the words with more conviction than anger. His posture was rigid, his jaw set against the dim candlelight. She knew he expected her to condemn him for that decision, the same way his mother had done earlier. “Would you please sit down?” she asked quietly. “There are some things I’d like to explain.”

He didn’t move for several moments, then dropped back into his chair. “What kind of things?” he asked, his voice hard and doubtful.

Kendall fidgeted. She placed her wine glass beneath her chair and squeezed her hands together, not surprised when the tips of her fingers were ice cold. She’d never told anyone, not even Sam and Chloe, the whole truth about her childhood. But she’d begun to see that she was only hurting herself and her parents, who loved her, by hiding her background.

“Those fancy social circles you mentioned,” she began nervously. “I don’t belong there.” She picked at a loose string along the flannel shirt’s hem so she wouldn’t have to meet Ty’s gaze. “I guess I could because of my job. Television opens a lot of doors. But I didn’t grow up belonging the way you did.”

“Kendall, not many people can match my dad for the money he’s made over the years. You went to some prep school, right? That’s not exactly the outside looking in.”

“You don’t understand. I attended Graves on a scholarship. I told your parents my father was involved in the automobile industry. That was true. For thirty years, he’s parked cars at an exclusive country club, barely making more than minimum wage. There were a lot of times he was out of work due to his drinking, and things got pretty desperate for my mom and me. She has rheumatoid arthritis so she couldn’t hold down a decent job either.”

She shook her head. “One of my teachers was a Graves alum. She saw that I wasn’t being challenged and arranged to have me tested at the academy. I must have done pretty well because she drove out to our place the next day and told them I could enroll at Graves for no cost.”

“Your parents must have been pleased.”

Kendall blinked back tears and gave a short laugh. “Hardly. They couldn’t see why going to some uppity school in a fancy neighborhood was so important when I was getting a fine education right there in Grady. But I knew,” she added quietly. “I knew that Graves was my ticket out of that town. So I convinced them. It was a big sacrifice. Even with the scholarship money, there was a uniform and other things to buy. The school was forty minutes from our house so someone had to drive me both ways and pay for the gas to get us there.”

Kendall worried the loose string of the shirt between her fingers. “It was right around the time my dad got sober for good, and he picked up work with a local mechanic to bring in more money. So many years of that routine and they never complained. They were happy to make me happy.”

“You’re lucky.”

She looked at him now, not caring if he saw the tears shining in her eyes. “Would you believe I didn’t realize that until today? When I got to the school, I was in over my head. Not academically. But in every other way, I was clueless. All of those kids had so much and they took it for granted. The first week, I pulled a notebook out of a box sitting in one of the halls. The cover was bent, but otherwise it was unused. I figured the school provided supplies to students. Wrong.”

She winced at the memory. “It was a recycling box. Somebody had thrown away a perfectly good notebook because the cover was bent. Heck, where I came from recycling was using old tires as flower beds.”

Ty’s white teeth gleamed in the soft light as he smiled. “Grady, Kansas, environmental hotbed of the Midwest.”

She appreciated that he was trying to make this easier for her. “Yeah, right. Anyway, one of the girls in my class—she was a real brat—saw me take the notebook and told anyone who would listen. The nickname ‘trash girl’ stuck through my first semester.”

He grimaced. “That’s rough.”

“There were lots of things that happened that first year to show me that I was out of my league. All I wanted was to fit in. But the way I went about it was wrong.” She stopped speaking, the emotion of that time—the fear, the doubt, the insecurity—washing over her in waves.

She could almost smell the unique mix of chalk and sweat that would always remind her of the school. She wrapped her arms around her waist, leaning her head forward to breathe in his scent from the shirt collar. Needing to stay in the reality of the moment.

Ty’s voice coaxed her back to the present. “What did you do?” he asked.

“I reinvented myself. Most people at the school knew I was a charity case, but you never would have guessed it by the way I acted. I watched how the other girls dressed, talked, walked, combed their hair. I became one of them. But I cut my parents off in the process. I could change myself but not my mom and dad.” She shook her head. “I was so mad at them for being who they were, embarrassed about where I came from.”

“You were a kid,” Ty said gently. “Give yourself a break.”

“That excuse doesn’t fly. I knew exactly what I was doing. I wouldn’t even let them come to graduation, and I was the valedictorian.” She buried her face in her hands as the shame of her actions washed over her. “They gave up so much to send me to Graves, to give me the future I wanted even though they couldn’t understand it. I treated them horribly.”

“Kendall—”

She waved him to silence. “The worst part is I haven’t changed a bit. All through college, I did everything I could to stay away from Grady. I used any excuse I could think of—my class schedule, exams, part-time jobs, internships. You name it.”

Her tears were flowing freely now but she didn’t care. Talking to Ty was like going to confession. She had to get her sins off her chest before they ate away any more of her soul. “I’ve visited my parents twice in the past eight years. I have two real friends in the world. That’s it. Two. I don’t let anyone get too close. It’s easier than dealing with my feelings about the past.”

Stabbing one hand in the air, she yelled into the night, “I grew up poor. Big flipping deal!” More quietly, she continued, “My parents live in a double-wide trailer. Why does that embarrass me? They’re good people. I’m the one with the problem, not them.”

She wiped her nose on the sleeve of his shirt and pushed her hair behind her ears. “I’m sorry I made you feel like I thought I was better than you. That you had to prove something to me. It was never really about that. It’s me and my insecurities.”

He reached over and covered her hand with his. “Come here,” he said gently. She looked into his eyes and let herself be tugged off the seat.

When he pulled her into his lap and wrapped his arms around her, Kendall sank against the warmth of his chest. “I never break down like this,” she sniffed into his shirt. “You’re a bad influence.”

She felt his smile as he pressed his mouth into her hair. “You knew that from the beginning, Princess. That’s why you ran so hard.”

“I’ll probably keep running,” she said, snuggling deeper into his embrace.

“Then it’s a good thing my legs are longer than yours.”

“A good thing,” she agreed. Her breathing was finally returning to normal and she noticed how right Ty’s arms felt holding her tight to him. She thought about all the words that had spilled out of her tonight. She’d bared her soul to him in a way she never had before to anyone.

Hell, not even to herself.

She could imagine what he must think of her. But she didn’t regret telling him about how she’d acted. She needed, for once in her life, to be honest with someone.

She inhaled the combination of crisp night air and Ty’s warm scent. She was glad he didn’t speak right away. Her body and mind were drained after everything that had happened today. Her eyes drifted shut. A few more moments of peace then she would listen to whatever he had to say.

CHAPTER TWELVE

Ty felt Kendall’s body grow limp in his arms. The candles flickered along the path, illuminating the small circle that enclosed the chairs. Everything beyond was shrouded in darkness. It didn’t matter. Ty knew his backyard like the back of his hand. He concentrated on the sound of water warbling over the stones in the fountain. He needed the noise to help him relax, as it had on so many previous nights.

All he could think about was the woman he held and what she’d shared with him. He didn’t understand the insecurities that came from growing up as she had. How could he? Thanks to his family’s wealth and power, he’d never had to struggle that way. He’d had everything he needed, except his parents’ unconditional love. There was no amount of money that could make up for the dysfunction in his family, but he was tired of letting his past have power over his future.

He’d taken a stand against his father six years ago and been firmly slapped down. In the world according to Eric Bishop, a son’s first responsibility was to protect the family name and bank account, no matter the cost.

Kendall had called herself a coward. To Ty’s way of thinking, he was the real chickenshit. When the going got tough with his family, he’d run like hell. At the time, it seemed like the best way to deal with his anger. Now he felt like a coward.

Is that how he wanted to live, as someone who took the easy way out? He’d made a good life for himself. Was that enough?

His arms tightened reflexively and he felt Kendall stir. Damn. He remained motionless, hoping he hadn’t woken her. She sighed and shifted in his lap.

“Did I fall asleep?” she asked drowsily.

Ty kissed the top of her head. “For a few minutes. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

She tilted her head, looking embarrassed as she met his gaze. “I’m glad you did. It wasn’t exactly fair of me to dump all that stuff on you then nod off.”

“Does what you told me change things?”

“What do you mean?” Her bottom pressed against his lap as she stretched. If she didn’t quit moving, Ty was going to have a hell of a time forming a coherent thought.

“Be still,” he said, holding her steady. “You told me about your childhood, about the choices you’ve made as an adult, so I would understand why you pushed me away.”

She nodded. “I spent a lot of years feeling judged for where I came from and measuring my own worth by it. It’s probably why I’ve dated guys who cared more about my image than really getting to know me. Even my so-called serious boyfriend wasn’t interested in my family or how I’d grown up.”

“Then he didn’t deserve you.”

“At the time, I thought it was for the best. But from the start of whatever this is between us, I knew you were different.” Her gaze dropped as she traced one finger along the edge of his jaw. “It scares the hell out of me,” she whispered.

“Join the club,” he said with a strained laugh, her gentle touch driving him crazy. He reached for her hand and laced their fingers together. “A big part of who you are today is because of where you came from, Kendall. Your determination and drive, the master plan I’m starting to hate. But there’s more to life than getting ahead.”

She bit down on her lip, as if she was unsure if she wanted to believe him or argue the point. “I became a journalist because I wanted to change the world through my reporting, the way my world was changed by the women I watched on TV. Even if my connection to them was just a little girl’s fantasy, those female journalists gave me hope. The master plan is important to me, Ty. I’m not giving it up for anyone.”

“Does it sound like I’m asking you to give up your dreams?”

When she shook her head, loose strands of hair tickled his chin. Her hair smelled clean like rain. For a woman who professed to hate the outdoors, she radiated a freshness that couldn’t be bought at a cosmetics counter. He lifted her off his lap and climbed out of the chair, setting her back down against the wood seat. He couldn’t concentrate with her perched against him.

When she spoke, he wished his arms were still wrapped around her so he could shake some sense into that gorgeous skull.

“What we have is fun, but it’s not forever,” she said, her voice quiet and sure. “I’m building a career and I need to stay focused on that.”

Ty felt despair wash through him. He was falling for a woman who flat-out said she had more important priorities than him in her life. He’d spent most of his childhood feeling like he wasn’t important to his narcissistic parents and he wasn’t going to sign on for more of that brand of rejection. While he understood the reason Kendall clung so tightly to her plan, it didn’t give him much hope for a future with her. Which is what he wanted . . . more than he was willing to admit. It would be best for both of them to end this now.

He looked into her moss green eyes and a voice inside him shouted
no
. All the words that would allow him to let her go slipped from his mind.

He wanted her. Wanted her in his life. Wanted her in his bed.

So much for doing the smart thing.

He lifted his hands to either side of her face and traced the supple lines of her mouth with his thumbs.

Confusion danced across her face. Her breath came out in short, shallow puffs of air. “What are you doing?”

He smiled and leaned his head even closer, until his lips moved against hers when he spoke. “Showing you that I can do a lot more for you than any damn job.”

She groaned. “I can’t think when you touch me.”

“Good. I’ve told you before, you think too much.”

“But . . .”

When her mouth opened to protest, he took the opportunity to kiss her. Her skin was cool from the night air, but her mouth was so hot. The temperature in his backyard rose about thirty degrees. His tongue circled hers, coaxing her to respond.

Her response nearly sent him to his knees.

She wrapped her arms around him, grazing his back with her fingernails, pressing her breasts into the hammering wall of his chest.

Out of nowhere, guilt wound itself in a tight little knot in his stomach. He wished he could blast his conscience to the moon.

With an effort of will he didn’t know he possessed, he lifted his head. “If this isn’t what you want . . .”

She fixed her mouth on the exposed flesh above his shirt collar. “You’re kidding, right?” The words hummed along his skin.

Just about every one of his brain cells took the fast train south. Way south. “I don’t want you to hate me in the morning. Shit, I don’t want to hate myself.”

She met his gaze, her eyes shimmering with desire. “Cold feet?” she asked with a seductive smile.

“Hell, no.” He was about as hot as the surface of the sun.

The smile turned challenging. “To repeat some advice a wise man once gave me, you talk too much. Shut up and kiss me.”

He grinned before stepping away from her.

“Hey!” she protested.

With practiced efficiency, he blew out the four candles, plunging the backyard into total darkness. “Ty?” Kendall’s voice was small in the night when she said his name. Returning silently to her side, he bent and lifted her in his arms. She gave a small gasp, then threw her head back and laughed. He raced along the path toward the house.

Kendall twisted her fingers in the material of his shirt and hung on for dear life. “Slow down.” She giggled when they rounded a corner. “You’ll run us into a tree.”

Ty kept his gaze focused on the darkness ahead. “No trees. I know the path.”

“In that case . . .” She tilted her head up and licked along the base of his throat. She laughed again when Ty groaned and nearly tripped up the deck stairs.

“Paybacks are hell,” he warned, pushing open the back door with one hip and maneuvering her into the house.

“I can’t wait,” she whispered. He carried her up the stairs and down the hall, careful not to bump her head as he turned into one of the upstairs rooms. Soft moonlight slipped through the large window on one wall and she could just make out a bed, dresser, and a chair.

Then his weight was on top of her, pressing her against the soft covers. He was lean and strong above her.

When he crushed his mouth to hers, it was easy to forget that he was not the right guy for her.

Easy to think about how right it felt for his tongue to slip inside her parted lips. Easy to lose herself in the whirling pleasure of his kiss.

For his hand to stroke up her thigh, nudging the hem of her dress until it bunched around her hips.

He broke the kiss and stared down at her. “Is there a zipper on this thing?” he asked, his voice harsh and raspy. His eyes were clouded with emotion and desire. “You look great in my shirt, but I need to see you, Kendall. Now.”

One end of her mouth curved. “You first.”

Like a shot, he was off the bed. “Whatever you say.”

She liked the way he made her feel. Reckless. Sexy. A little wild.

Her eyes had adjusted to the dim light, and she could clearly see him standing next to the bed. Raising herself onto her elbows, she watched as he hastily undressed. He kicked off his sandals, shrugged out of his shirt, and dragged the gray T-shirt over his head.

Kendall knew he looked good bare chested, but seeing him standing there, all smooth muscles and honey-warm skin, her head started to spin. He undid his jeans and stepped out of them, then pulled off his boxers. When he straightened, her mouth went dry. He was beautiful. Every part of him, from his wide, muscled chest to his flat stomach to the hard erection jutting out from between his legs.

He watched her watching him, then let out a strangled laugh. “If you keep looking at me like that, this is going to be over before we get to the good stuff.” He moved to the edge of the bed, trailing a finger along her ankle. “Your turn.”

He was watching her with such unabashed adoration that she forgot to be shy. The only thought she could focus on was getting undressed as soon as possible. She wanted him. “The zipper’s in the back,” she said softly. “I may need a little help.”

He leaned toward her, kissing her as his fingers found the small clasp at the base of her neck and he tugged at the zipper. When it reached the swell of her hip, he moved away to the corner of the bed with a harsh exhale.

He was waiting for her. Kendall peeled the loose fabric off her shoulders. She lifted her hips to push the dress down her legs, tossing it off the bed.

“Almost there,” he murmured and again the look in his eyes bolstered her confidence.

Straightening, she reached behind her back and unfastened her bra, flinging the lacy material over the side of the bed with her dress. Her underpants followed and she raised herself onto her knees, leaning forward to crush her mouth against Ty’s. At the same time, she caught him in her hand.

“Sweet Jesus,” he rasped, grabbing her wrist. “Not helping to make the moment last.”

“I need you,” she said against his mouth.

“You’ve got me.” He lifted her, and pressing her back down against the soft covers.

He took control of the kiss, driving her crazy with his lips and his tongue while his hands found their way to the most sensitive places on her body. When she felt herself spiraling out of control, she let the sensations take her, crying out her pleasure against his throat.

She felt free.

For the first time, she let her desire rule her unfettered. She answered his need with her own enthusiastic response. Wrapping her arms around him, she pulled him to her.

“I want you inside me, Ty. More than anything else.”

His voice was shaky when he replied. “There isn’t any place in the world I’d rather be.” He reached toward the nightstand and pulled a condom out of the drawer.

Thank heavens he was prepared. She was so crazy with wanting him, she wouldn’t have even remembered protection.

A moment later his mouth was on hers again, and she forgot about preparing for anything but opening her body to him. Then he was there, inside her, making her soar to heights she didn’t know she could reach. She held on to him tightly, pressing him against her, wanting to feel all of him touching all of her.

The words he spoke were low against her throat. “This is more than fun, Kendall. This is right.”

“Why are you talking?” she asked, digging her nails into his back. “It’s sex. It doesn’t mean . . .”

Her voice choked off as he changed the rhythm of his movement.

“Yes, it does,” he said firmly, and then pressed his mouth over hers.

Suddenly, this was like no experience she’d ever had. The excitement, the sensation, the pure pleasure of it drove her wild with need.

She forgot about arguing with him. Forgot about what this could mean.

She let passion wash over her, riding the crest of the wave until she fell off the end of the earth and was lost to everything except the moment.

When she finally landed back on the bed, it was several minutes before she could form a coherent thought. Ty was still on top of her, somehow cradling her in his arms without crushing her with his weight.

She felt his heart beat against her chest. Or was it hers? Their bodies were slick and hot and it felt so right to be with him like this.

It felt good. Fantastic, even. But not right. Because if this was right, she was afraid that made her master plan wrong.

She’d worked too long and hard to get sidetracked now. She wasn’t going to confuse mind-blowing sex with something more. Something that could turn her dreams, her plan, her whole world upside down.

Her skin cooled when Ty rolled off her. He kept his arm across her, tucking her hair behind one ear as he turned her face toward him. “Whatever you’re thinking, stop.”

“How do you know . . . ?”

“Trust me, I know. No more thinking tonight. Or talking.” He kissed her and pushed down the duvet and sheets.

Kendall scooted up until she was able to stretch her legs under the clean white sheets. “Um, do you have a T-shirt or something I could borrow?”

He smiled at her as he stretched out his legs. “No.”

Even though they weren’t touching, she could still feel the heat pouring off him. She pulled the sheet higher until it brushed against her chin. “Really, no joking. I need something to sleep in.”